Miles Don't Mean Anything
by KtotheH
Summary: Miles don't mean anything... right? That seems to be the foundation of LA Kendall and Texas Jade's sudden attraction and relationship, at least until Hollywood tries to rip them apart. Will their bond survive the underlying ridiculous rules of Tinseltown? Rated M for language and suggested sexual themes.
1. Memories

**Hi everyone! I truly hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoy(ed) planning and writing it! It's the longest one I've ever done, and I'm still not finished with it yet :P Anyways, I know I'm far from being the best writer out there, but your reviews and feedback truly would mean the world to me! Anonymous reviews ARE enabled, so seriously, don't be shy! :)**

**And now, on to Miles Don't Mean Anything :)**

* * *

><p><strong>1 – Memories - <strong>_"Spinning like a movie in my head I've seen a thousand times. Lost days, pictures fade. Somehow you're still miles away." _– _Boys Like Girls (The First One)_

The room was dark just like he liked it, with red and blue lights bouncing off the walls and dancing across the faces of strangers and past one night stands, just hoping he'd pick them again.

Kendall was the best they'd ever had.

He made his way through the ultimate underground hotspot, Psych, where the random paparazzi were sure not to follow as he searched for his next late-night-pleasure. The neon lights, the headache inducing music, the sweat, the late nights. That was his life.

Kendall knew his way through every nook and cranny of his favorite, exclusive clubs, but knew his way even more through the _girls _of his favorite, exclusive clubs. Where he was a sweet, innocent boy to the public eye with his Hollywood-style career, in these clubs he was _the_ hot commodity that every girl so desperately wanted, and if you were good looking enough… got him.

He always observed from the bar first, his tousled blonde hair and piercing green eyes enough to make the hot lady bartenders not card him and even slide him free alcohol when he wanted it. And then he'd stand there scouring the room with an arm casually tossed onto the countertop, hand curled around a glass of his usual, his perfectly sculpted jaw tense until he found the one he wanted.

And he always did.

He smirked and chugged the last of the burning liquid, slamming it to the counter like a pro and moving away to close in on his latest target. _Short, blonde, not many clothes to get rid of. Check._ The man smirked again just before he reached her and his face melted into a charming smile. It always reeled them in.

"Hi there," he murmured as the song quieted, already moving close to the tiny body.

He could tell she didn't mind, and her dimmed eyes lit up as much as a wasted girl's could when she saw the tall, blonde, and handsome making a move on her. "Hi," she responded giddily, immediately leaning her weight into him and wrapping sloppy arms around his neck.

_Well this was easier than usual._ Kendall mentally shrugged it off and wrapped a firm arm around the girl's back to lift her up and whisper in her ear, "I take it you're not the exchange names type of girl?" He nipped at her ear and slid his free hand to her ass, staking his claim.

The drunk girl laughed loudly at that, too far gone to care _what_ kind of girl she was. "Lookin' like you do? You can do _any_thing you want to me, boy." She roughly ran a hand across his hair and grinded against him. Kendall had to refrain from rolling his eyes. He realized a little too late how trashy she was. But she would do the trick just fine.

"Then how 'bout we go back to my place, hmmm?" he suggested before leading a trail of messy kisses to the girl's neck. The kind of kisses that belong to people who don't matter to him.

She reared her head back, turned on too early in the game thanks to her state of mind and desperate need to just get laid. "Honey, you can take me to the car and I'll be satisfied," she groaned, growing more desperate by the second.

Kendall instantly set her down and started pulling her by the wrist. "Works for me."

* * *

><p>The light thud that hit Jade's foot didn't faze her at first as she frantically rummaged through her closet full of clothes, desperate for a decent outfit to wear to dinner with her cousin. He was on leave from the Marines for just two days, and it was the first time she'd be seeing him in a year. She promised herself she wouldn't be late, as usual, but of course, her planned two hour power nap lasted five hours and she didn't have near as long as she wished to get ready.<p>

Wildly, Jade grabbed at the blouse she wanted to wear as it conveniently slipped off its hanger and put her face to face with what had fallen from the top of her closet.

_The hat.  
><em>

She let out a short breath as she slowly let herself fall into a sitting position, baseball cap in hand. She exasperatedly ran her free fingers through her long, light brown hair, dragging it over her left shoulder as she closed her hazel eyes tight and clutched it to her chest.

Random memories flooded back to her, replaying as if the back of her eyelids were a silver screen, and she felt the water works coming as she remembered the night they'd met. Jade had put this baseball cap away for a reason, and this was it. She had been doing all she could to forget Chad and the way he made her feel, both the good and the bad feelings. Her mind taking over, she felt herself slipping, becoming enwrapped in the precious flashback of the first time she ever saw that hat, the first time she ever met him.

_Jade bustled through the gate of her summer job, late for her First Aid certification meeting, of course. She carefully rounded around the huge pool, continuing to make a bee-line for the door in which her co-workers would no doubt be waiting for her. She opened the door with a running start, pausing for a moment as everyone in the room took the liberty to look at her.  
><em>

_ Short of breath, Jade took the only open seat she saw, sitting as calmly as she could manage, and pulled her sling purse around to her lap, immediately searching for her phone and putting it on silent. Someone cleared their throat, making the distracted girl realize no one had spoken, and everyone was looking at her expectantly. "Oh." She said. She looked around nervously until her eyes rested on the new face in front of her. "Oh, hi." The soft smile on his face, along with the bright blue eyes, seemed to melt away all of her nerves. "You're new."  
><em>

_ "Actually," he smirked. "I'm Chad."  
><em>

_ She felt herself blush slightly. "I'm Jade. It's nice to meet you."  
><em>

_ "Likewise."  
><em>

_ "Are you two done swooning? I've got a certification to get started." Jade's dirty-looking, pin-straight black-haired manager glared at her, and only her.  
><em>

_ Baffled, but not embarrassed to the slightest, Jade shot back. "Sorry I was late, sir. I couldn't leave my grandmother unattended until my cousin got there."  
><em>

_ He just scoffed and started talking, which was Jade's cue to not care; she could recite this stuff in her sleep. Her eyes fell on the adorable, short-haired blond who was still watching her again. He was wearing a worn navy blue and white Rangers baseball cap, with a gray, red, and blue baseball shirt. Obviously a baseball fan. She liked him already.  
><em>

_ "Okay, Miss "head lifeguard"," Jade snapped her attention away from the blue eyes across from her. "You're partnered with Chad. Show him around, show him the ropes, whatever."  
><em>

_ "Will do, cap'n!" she smirked; he hated when she called him that. She saw Chad snicker out of the corner of her eye, and she felt pleased with herself.  
><em>

_ "Just go!" his eyebrows furrowed in a distorted, ugly way that Jade hated, but she smiled anyways as she stood up simultaneously with Chad. "Ace, Wes, go check the pool chemicals… and try not to screw anything up!"  
><em>

_ Jade giggled, glancing back at her friends/co-workers as they grinned, jumping up and running out a different door than the one she and Chad were exiting. She looked up at her "partner" as he joined her side; he was tall, and looked down at her with a smirk she could get used to.  
><em>

_ "So." He said. "Ace already showed me everything.."  
><em>

_ "Oh, he did?"  
><em>

_ "Yeah, but I uh, thought you could use a break?" His eyebrows furrowed, much, much cuter than their boss's distorted face problem.  
><em>

_ "Is that so?" Jade smiled.  
><em>

_ "Yeah, dude's a jerk in there. He always treats you like that?"  
><em>

_ Jade shrugged. "Pretty much. I don't pay much attention to him. He can't get me fired, so I have my fun with him." Chad just looked at her, confused. "My parents own the place. They know how nasty and annoying he is, they just won't fire him for some reason."  
><em>

_ "So _you're_ the owners' kid." There was that smirk again.  
><em>

_ "Is that a bad thing?"  
><em>

_ "Not anymore."_

Jade felt a tear creep down her cheek, but she was smiling. She looked down at the crumpled baseball cap in her hands, Chad's face flooding her mind. She breathed in deep, and slowly breathed out.

_"This is absolutely against the rules, Chad!" Jade exclaimed as the boy pulled her down to lie next to him on the floor._

_ "Oh, who gives a shit about Parker's rules? You never have." Chad smirked, grabbing the remote and turning on the only movie he could find on the premises._

_ "True…" Jade made herself more comfortable, putting the arm farthest from Chad under her head, leaving the hand next to him open like she always did, in hopes that one day he would hold it. "But he's gonna kill us for this. Where'd you even get a DVD player to hook up in the employee lounge anyways?"_

_ "You'd be surprised the things you can find around here. Actually, _you_ of all people should know that. Step up your game, Thomas!" They both laughed and turned their heads to look at one another, their wide grins fading to content smirks as they just gazed; something they did a lot these days._

_ Jade bit her lip, wanting something to talk about, and glanced up at his hat; the one he always wore, and the one she just really wanted for whatever reason. "I'm gonna steal that cap one day, just so you know," she stated matter-of-factly._

_ "Oh really?" he asked with a smile. "I'll fight you for it."_

_ "Fight me?" She laughed. _

_ "Sure. Maybe wrestle is a better way to put it. If you can get the hat from me, I'll let you have it." Chad sat up._

_ Jade merely followed his lead. "You're on, man."_

_ She lunged at him and they were soon tangled in a fit of struggles and giggles, rolling around and pinning each other down, forcing limbs in odd directions until one gave up._

_ He let her win._

With a shake of her head, she left the hat lying on the floor, and stood with her blouse, quickly stripping out of her sweats. She walked over to the mirror, pushed her hair back in a headband, then grabbed her eyeliner, applied it, and was out the door. She managed to be right on time to the restaurant and bustled straight through to the back section where she knew her cousin would be waiting.

"You've been crying." His deep, now official-sounding voice startled her when she came face-to-face, or face-to-chest, with her too tall, blonde haired and brown-eyed cousin.

"No I haven't." she sniffled lightly, and the look on John's scruffy face told her he wasn't buying it. "Listen! How about a 'Hey Jade! It's been so long! I've missed you so much!' before you go questioning me."

She mustered a smile, and he chuckled, pulling her into a bear hug. "Hey Jade! It's been so long! I've missed you so much!" he mocked. Jade playfully nudged his hard stomach and they took a seat across from each other. "Man, I've missed this place." John looked around with a content expression.

"John, it's just Casa Ole…"

"Yes, well they don't have a place this run-down and homey in California!" They laughed, but when silence fell upon them, John became curious again. "So why were you crying? Chad? I sure hope not."

Jade looked down at her lap, playing with her shorts. "I've been doing well enough, but… I don't know. His Rangers cap fell out of my closet and I just lost it." She shook her head. "It's been two and a half months since he left… Did you really think I'd be over him moving to New York by now?"

"Well if I were you, I would just say screw it, and move on. He's an ass for kissing you_ finally_, then breaking the news to you."

Jade pursed her lips. "You're a guy. It's easier for you."

His expression softening, John looked at his little cousin with concern. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up like that." He sighed. "You're right. I _am_ a guy, and that was insensitive of me." He stared at her, but she was already lost too deep in her thoughts.

_"It's almost midnight." Chad stood gazing down at Jade in her spot on the tanning chair as people passed, unnoticed by the two, all around them.  
><em>

_ "It is." She nodded. Jade wasn't much of a party-goer. If Chad hadn't invited her to this particular one, she would've been spending New Years Eve on her couch, watching a movie.  
><em>

_ "It will make a year and a half that we've known each other."  
><em>

_ A small smile lit her face. "It will." A year and a half of tension. She shook her head slightly._

_ "You got room for me on there?"  
><em>

_ "But of course." She smiled as he took a seat at the head of the chair, a leg on either side, and leaned against the raised seat. Jade turned her body to face his, sitting "indian-style" and scooting close to him. He looked at the sky, fireworks appearing in different areas every now and then, as his fingers doodled on Jade's leg. "You're not having fun," she observed.  
><em>

_ "Of course I am." She shook her head in disagreement, and he looked at her with raised eyebrows. "I'm with you."  
><em>

_ She felt heat rush to her cheeks and he sat up, scooting closer.  
><em>

_ Desperate to distract herself from how close he now was, she listened to her background. Suddenly, she laughed. "Who would play Big Time Rush at a high school/college New Years party?" She jokingly began to dance in place to the song, Any Kind of Guy as it blared through the speakers of the party.  
><em>

_ "Let's just say I know how much of a guilty pleasure they are for you, so I might of put a word in.." Chad was laughing, more than amused at Jade.  
><em>

_ "You're amazing." Jade met his eyes. "You know that?"  
><em>

_ "Mmm, I might." He smirked. "I did buy you your concert ticket to see them in April."  
><em>

_ "Ah, my ticket. So I guess the story is still that I'm kidnapping you and bringing you to Dallas with me?"  
><em>

_ Chad nodded approvingly, but seemed slightly uneasy. "That's right-"  
><em>

_ "TEN…NINE…" Jade and Chad stared at each other silently as the sudden countdown to midnight continued. "FIVE…FOUR…" Chad opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, then closed it again. All Jade wanted was their kiss. It had almost happened so many times. "TWO…ONE…"  
><em>

_ Chad leaned forward and pressed his lips earnestly against Jade's for the first time. Cheers and "Happy new years!" erupted around them, fireworks exploded in the sky above them, but they were in their own world. It was all about them and the way he ran his fingers through her hair now.  
><em>

_ Jade pulled back slightly, only to be followed and met again by Chad's lips. When they were finally somewhat satisfied, they were both breathless.  
><em>

_ Jade's face lit up with a smile. "I've been waiting for you to do that for so long," she murmured, caressing the boy's face before planting a more intense kiss to his lips. _

_And even though Chad looked utterly elated, and even grabbed her head to attach their mouths yet again, the next look on his face made her uneasy. "I-Is something wrong?" she asked uncertainly, immediately thinking it was something she had done. Those had been her first kisses, after all. She could've sucked.  
><em>

_ All of her thoughts were put to a screeching halt when Chad stared at her with sad eyes and said, "I-I'm moving to New York."_

"Sometimes I regret just walking away from him, and never saying goodbye.." Jade murmured, finally. "Other times I think it's for the best."

"It _was_for the best, Jade." John nodded. "Putting him out of your mind, and life, is the best option, I promise."

"It's just days like today when these memories haunt me… I question myself, and him."

"I know, and things always get worse before they get better, but Jade, they _do_get better."

She sighed. "I sure hope you're right."

* * *

><p>"Hurry <em>up,<em> Jade! Are you serious?!" Leslie flicked her short blonde hair away from her face, jokingly grunting angrily.

"Calm down, Les, I'm coming!" Jade laughed softly at her best friend. She _had_ been the one who forced Leslie to be at her house early to make sure they didn't leave for Dallas after the scheduled time, and of course, it wasn't Leslie that was late, but _Jade_.

It had been almost two months since Jade's dinner with John, and things for her weren't exactly better, but they weren't worse either. She had adopted a new attitude. Granted, she was having trouble sticking to it, but she was trying. She kept telling herself that she would find someone better than Chad. Someone who wouldn't kiss her and leave. Someone just as good, but better.

Someone like Chad.

She sighed. She slipped every now and then… every day, but life was getting easier, which was all that mattered to her. Jade smirked. She even pointed out a cute boy to Leslie the day before, which was a step forward in itself.

She stepped out of her bathroom, dressed in a floral tank, gray vest, blue jean shorts, and strappy sandals. "So, how do I look?" She spun for her best friend.

Leslie whistled. "Very Texas-y, and very cute." She nodded approvingly.

"Cute?" Jade grimaced.

"Hey! I only say cute 'cause you're too innocent for the term _sexy_ to be used on. It's _you_, Jade. They're gonna love you."

"They're not even going to notice me, but thanks." Jade rolled her eyes and smiled just as her phone pinged in her pocket.

"Oh, and I bet that's totally not Carlos mentioning you on Twitter, either." Sarcasm seeped through Leslie's words as she sassily placed her hands on her hips.

Jade looked at her phone, her grin growing. It _was_ Carlos. He had seen her update about getting ready for Dallas, and he had replied, "Hey whattaya know! Me too! ;) I hope I see you there!"

Carlos was one of the four members of the new flourishing American boyband, Big Time Rush. He was an adorable, tiny Latino with short, dark hair, eyes to match, and had the sweetest personality one could imagine. It was hard to not have that one as your favorite. But the others were all incredible too. There was James, the very example of tall, dark, and handsome, with light brown hair topping the ultimate surfer body. His dry sense of humor either made you love him, or hate him, but he was still sweet as could be. Then you had Kendall, a complete goof, but adorable with his never-neat blonde hair, pale emerald eyes, and dorky, yet mysterious personality. And then Logan, a fellow Texan with brown hair and brown eyes, and definitely the biggest daredevil of the group. His personality could always light up a dark room. But Carlos had been Jade's favorite from the minute she saw him in an interview, and James was Leslie's favorite.

The band's show, and some of their music, was geared towards a younger audience, like ages 5-14, but Jade and Leslie didn't care. They weren't the only older girls in the world who liked this "kid" band, and it didn't matter anyways; the guys were older themselves, extremely talented, and it didn't hurt that they were good-looking.

"Yep. Carlos." Leslie laughed. "I can believe that out of the thousands of people that follow him on that site, you were one of the lucky few he picked to follow. It's _you_ we're talking about here." Jade rolled her eyes again. "But it's actually really hard to believe he actually pays attention to his timeline and replies to stuff you say! And only you! Everyone else has to say something to him first."

Jade shrugged slowly, the expression on her face showing that she was elated by the thought, but didn't really know how to reply. "It's not like he's really going to recognize me though if I get close enough."

"Are you kidding?" Leslie grabbed her purse and keys and started heading for the door. "He's probably stared at your picture for hours, memorizing every detail of your face." She turned around to smirk at her friend, and then lead the way outside to her car.

"Oh yeah, Les. That's sounds completely realistic!"

"What can I say? Carlos Pena has the hots for you, Jade!" They piled into Leslie's car, settled, and she quickly pulled out of the driveway, putting them on their way to Dallas, and on their way to see Big Time Rush in concert.

"Whatever. How can you have the hots for someone you haven't even met?"

"Oh, dear friend of mine! You have so much to learn!" Leslie exclaimed dramatically, causing Jade to roll her eyes. "But moving on!" Leslie continued. "What if Carlos made a move on you?"

Jade frowned. "I heard he's seeing someone."

"Who?!"

"I don't remember her name. I think it started with an S or something. Doesn't matter. Besides, maybe I should pick a different guy; I think Carlos is shorter than me!" Jade giggled at the thought. She was only a couple of inches shy of six feet, and she had never liked the idea of dating a guy shorter than her.

"Oh, what about Kendall? 'Cause you can't have James. Sorry." Leslie smirked, obviously immersing herself in some fantasy about the muscular man.

"I think Kendall's a little too mysterious for me. Like, why doesn't he ever date anyone? Every time I've seen him be asked about it, he's like _Oh I haven't had a girlfriend since I was like twelve. I don't know._ What kind of answer is that? He's basically flawless, I'm sure he could find a girlfriend."

"So is that a no?" Leslie asked uncertainly. She hadn't expected a rant about the blonde boy.

Jade laughed. "Yeah, I think Kendall's a no.

* * *

><p>"How much you wanna bet that van contains four very sexy men that we're here to see?" Leslie murmured to her friend.<p>

Jade laughed. "I don't know…" She gazed in the direction of the aforementioned van curiously. "Maybe.."

"Oh, it's totally them," Leslie nodded.

"What makes you say that?"

"…..All the frantic 12 year olds running in that direction?"

"Right…" Jade snickered, but averted her attention to Leslie; an expression of pain had crossed her face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah totally. My stomach just started hurting really badly out of nowhere," she murmured, clutching herself as if trying to ease the pain.

"Here, let's sit down, Les." Jade helped her friend over to a nearby bench and took a seat. She gazed at her surroundings, taking things in. They had sat next to a ride named The Scrambler. And there were carnival booths and more rides everywhere. She had never been to a fair this big. There was something truly wonderful about it. She could feel it. "Where's your medicine? The show starts in 30 minutes."

"I couldn't bring any medicine in, remember?" Leslie grimaced, doubling over.

Jade put an uneasy hand on her back, unsure of what to do. "Les-"

"Is everything okay?" Jade looked up to see a man, maybe two or three years older than her, with long, dark hair and glasses. He had just gotten off the Scrambler.

"Uh, not really," Jade responded. "My friend couldn't bring her medicine in and now she really needs it."

The man looked concerned. "Is it bad?" He squatted down in front of Leslie, trying to get level with her face.

She nodded. "This pain will last for hours if I don't get that medicine in me."

"Come on. I'll take you to get it."

Jade started. "Ummm…"

The man smiled as he helped Leslie up. "I'm not going to kidnap her, I promise. I can get her back past security." He put her arm around his shoulder for support. "I'm Dustin, Big Time Rush's guitarist." He lifted a pass hooked to his belt loop. Sure enough.

"Wow I feel really bad for not realizing who you are. I'm so sorry." Jade laughed. Dustin shrugged. "But Leslie…"

Leslie attempted a smile. "It's okay, Jade. You go on to the show. I'll be there in a bit."

"But-"

"Go, Jade!" Leslie drew up as much firmness as she could in her state. "I will not be the reason you are not front row and having the time of your life. You_ need_ this. So go."

Jade grimaced as Dustin helped Leslie hobble away. That had been Leslie's small way of saying "Forget Chad." She sighed as she walked towards the building. Now Chad was back in her head.

She was determined to get through this. This was going to be the night of her life.

* * *

><p>She was mere feet away from the stage.<p>

The barricade came up to her mid-stomach, and her heart's pace picked up speed as the music started, adrenaline rushing through her veins at the idea of dancing the night away. She closed her eyes and breathed in deep, trying to contain some of her excitement, and trying not to be disappointed that she was alone.

"What's up Texas?!" The murmur of the crowd around her immediately erupted into cheers and screams and Jade laughed at the commotion around her as she opened her eyes and saw the four boys she was there for walk onto the stage with smiles on their attractive faces.

They lined up behind their microphones that were already placed, and Jade was pleased to see Carlos directly in front of her. She smiled when he looked down, gasped, grinning, and mouthed 'I know you!' pointing to her with a charming smile and wink following. Jade laughed. _Oh, Twitter._

Carlos quickly ran to the edge of the stage and bumped fists with Jade, earning her a glance from the other three boys as they prepared to sing, and jealous glares from the girls around her. Jade giggled, shaking her head. She had that soft spot for the tiny Latino, and couldn't deny how adorable he was being. But then her attention couldn't help but be drawn away when she noticed a certain blonde staring at her, but when she looked, he turned his head. _Hm.  
><em>

She shrugged it off as soon as James started singing _There were so many things that I never, ever got to say…_ Jade swayed her whole body side to side, smiling and singing along. She found herself laughing heartily when Carlos started belting _If you could read my mind... _as he kept winking and making faces at her, also not failing to enthusiastically join her as she started waving her hand to the beat above her head, eventually getting the whole crowd in on it.

Sadly though for Jade, when the boys finished _Stuck_ and apologized for starting slow, they began an upbeat, choreographed song, that involved them switching places twice in it. So the first time, when Carlos switched with Logan, Jade felt a bit lonely. Not to mention the upbeat song was _Any Kind of Guy_, the song that had been playing when Jade and Chad had kissed on New Years.

Regardless, she enjoyed herself greatly, still kind of floating from Carlos' enthusiasm towards her. But even so, she didn't feel there was much of a "relationship" vibe between them. She pushed the thought away. _It can't always be like the movies, right?_

She sang her heart out, dancing shamelessly, as the song got to the second verse, and on the first line, the boys switched again, now putting Kendall in front of her as he joined Carlos in singing _Changing my point of view,_ and letting Carlos finish his line. _Anything to get next to you._ And when Kendall picked up again with _I gotta keep on believing that everything takes time..._he looked down at Jade, meeting her bright hazel eyes, and she sang to him, not phased anymore by the contact she was making with these celebrities. She smiled at him, and he grinned back, holding eye contact as they sang to each other.

Jade finally looked away as she felt the beat crawling under her skin; she had missed this feeling. A feeling of freedom, elation. But she felt a hard stare beating down on her. Her skin tingled with an unknown feeling when she met Kendall's eyes again at the end of the song, seemingly unable to resist looking at him at least once more.

"Alright, this next one," Kendall gazed into the crowd for just a few moments, but as he said his next few words, Jade saw his eyes fall back on her. "It's new…ish. And I'm actually kind of holding it close to my heart right at this moment…" He smirked.

Many didn't fail to see the other three cast a confused glance at Kendall as they grabbed their mic stands and moved them to the side of the stage. Carlos quickly and enthusiastically waved as he passed Jade, hurrying to his position. Jade shook her head with a laugh, figuring he must've been pretty proud that he remembered her. And then the song started, and Jade felt a jolt in her stomach, still thinking in the back of her mind about Kendall's last words, pairing it with the lyrics he was about to start singing.

And sure enough, when the intro finished, from behind, Kendall broke through his bandmates, walked to the edge of the stage, moving with the rhythm, and ended up a mere two feet from Jade's face, singing _Have you ever had the feeling you're drawn to someone? And it isn't anything they could've said or done? _He made a motion like he was going to lift and caress her chin, but abruptly stopped and stood with a smirk, joining the boys' formation. _And every day I see you on your own. And I can't believe that you're alone. But I overheard your girls and this is what they said.  
><em>

Jade, hardly even realizing it, from that moment on only had eyes for Kendall. She could feel the jealous glares around her but she didn't care one bit. What was Kendall's deal? Did he do this to girls often? Better yet, why was she suddenly so drawn to him? She sang along, more into the music than ever, and noticed how into the dance Kendall had become, still stealing glances at her out of the corner of his eye.

The concert progressed similarly, with Kendall making eyes and flaunting himself right in front of her, and she had to admit… she wasn't complaining. He had drawn her in, for lack of a better phrase, and drawn her in hard. Full-on band boy crush in a matter of twenty minutes. She had liked Carlos for almost a _year_, and it took Kendall twenty minutes to "convert" her.

But this was different, and deep down Jade knew that, but as usual, no matter how obvious a guy was, Jade automatically denied the thought of him having feelings for her. Plus, Kendall didn't even know her; he was probably just in a flirty mood… right? But her own words came floating back to her as she danced, mocking her. _How can you have the hots for someone you haven't even met?_

* * *

><p>The guys met up on the side of the stage for a quick water break when they had one song left. Kendall couldn't remember the last time he had felt like this; overly-flirtatious, adventurous… <em>innocent.<em>He took a sip from his water bottle and suddenly realized his best friends were all staring at him, bewildered. James' eyes were narrow as he unscrewed the cap to his water, Logan quirked an eyebrow, swallowing a quick swig of the beverage, and Carlos just stared at him, not even picking up a drink.

"….What?" Kendall shrugged, already knowing where this was going.

"You're like, eye-raping that chick on the front row!" James raised a hand awkwardly in question.

"Am not!"

"Ya kind of are," Logan threw in, eyebrow still raised.

"You don't even know her." Carlos said, taking a few steps to slowly pick up a bottle of water.

"What about you?" Kendall pointed at his latino friend.

"I follow her on Twitter." Carlos replied in a "matter-of-fact" tone. "I usually see her on my timeline. She's cool, and not your type."

Kendall reared his head back in confusion. "I have a type?" Carlos shrugged. "No, go ahead Carlos, say what you need to say."

James and Logan looked at each other, wondering whether or not they should stop this before it gets out of hand.

"Fine. You _do_have a type." Carlos' tone was faintly smug, to match the expression on his face, but even so, the next word slipped out on accident. "Skank."

Kendall rebutted immediately. "Skank? Seriously dude? _Skank_is my type?"

"Um, Janet?" Carlos glanced at Logan and James, whose mouths were in the shape of tiny 'o's, silently agreeing with him. "She could've been a hooker. In fact, she probably was."

"Whatever." Kendall said through clenched teeth.

"Oh I'm not done." Carlos shook his head. "Amy. Maggie. Steph. Angel-_that_was a misleading name-Sammy-"

"Carlos I get it!" Kendall was purely angry now. "Maybe this is different."

Suddenly Dustin broke the tension when he ran backstage. "Guys!" he said. "You know you _do_have to finish the show, right?"

"Oh shit." James and Logan took off to the stage, while Carlos and Kendall stood statue-like, glaring at each other. They heard their friends apologize to the crowd.

Carlos broke the silence. "You better not be messing with her head." He walked off, breaking into a run right before he hit the stage. "Sorry about the wait, Dallas! We were experiencing some difficulties!"

Kendall sighed, still not on stage yet. He took a deep breath, feeling an anxiety attack coming on.

Before he was truly ready, he stepped on the stage and blew a kiss to the crowd before he grabbed a microphone. He looked down at the girl he'd been flirting with all night, and was slightly warmed at the expression of genuine concern on her face, as if she had seen right through everything the other three had said about their delay. She gave him a small, reassuring smile, and he didn't know why, but he felt a little better.

He held his mic to his mouth to say, "This next song.." and Logan finished, "..is for all you out there… who want to be famous." Logan smiled as the crowd went ballistic, and Kendall mentally grunted at the script they used at every concert, but before he could complain to himself anymore, it was time for him to start the first verse.

He did his best to lose himself in the music, and couldn't help but to steal at least a couple of glances at the girl in the front row. And by the end of the song, Kendall was in the middle of devising a plan to talk to this girl he'd taken a strange interest in, but his anger rushed back when Carlos gave him a stern "no" look. So as soon as they said their proper goodbyes to the crowd, Kendall stormed off stage and went straight for the dressing room.

He slammed the door, aggressively yanking his wires off of his body. He wasn't even sure why he was _this_ mad; a part of him _knew_ Carlos was right. But Kendall _wasn't_ just messing with front-row-girl's head; he was genuinely drawn to her for reasons he _couldn't_figure out. And the fact that his best friends would think he'd stoop as low as to mess with a girl's head just for the hell of it, in this kind of situation, cut him kind of deep. Sure technically he screwed with his one-night-stands' heads, but they were always consumed by alcohol and basically asking for it. He wasn't completely heartless; he wasn't cruel to people in the real world.

He stripped off his shirt, looking for another one to wear, then stalked into the restroom. He stood, hands clasping the sink, looking at himself in the mirror. _Why am I acting like this?_ He shook his head, hard, as if that would clear it. A girl he hadn't even met, and who, like Carlos pointed out, wasn't anything like the girls he usually ended up with. _Something's wrong with me._He shook his head again, then splashed some water on his face, making him feel slightly better.

The blonde walked back into his dressing room, running his fingers through his hair as he plopped down on the couch, closing his eyes as he leaned his head back, drifting away..


	2. Shot in the Dark

**2 – Shot in the Dark **- _"I escape into the sound, spinnin' like a merry-go-round. I don't ever wanna come down. I trust this ride tonight." – Merry Go Round (Tanner Patrick)_

When he opened them, his body was flat, and he panicked when he realized he'd fallen asleep. His limber legs sprang forward, jolting his body along for the ride. He checked the time; 45 minutes had passed. "Shit," he whispered. "The fans." His eyes widened. "The _girl_."

He took off running, barely remembering to pick up his FlipCam as he sprinted out the door. In the process of throwing one foot in front of the other, Kendall realized he actually felt a little better. Sleeping had calmed him, at least.

He finally made it outside, surprised at how much cooler the thick, Texas air was. The fair was lit up rather beautifully as well, he noted, as he walked straight forward to find his bandmates or fans.

Surprisingly, he didn't get approached as he weaved his way through game booths and concession stands. He suddenly stopped and slowly looked around, seeing only creepy carnies and the occasional passerby. Kendall approached the most normal-looking worker in sight to ask what time the fair closed. When the carnie said "9:00" Kendall's heart dropped. "But that's in like twenty minutes!" he whined.

The carnie, an elderly man, smiled. "I didn't say it closed at nine for you and your band members. And any guests you may have of course."

Just as soon as the pang of relief shot through Kendall, an idea popped into his head. He gasped. "Thanks!" He took off again, barely hearing the old man's friendly chuckle behind him, as if he knew exactly what Kendall was so anxious over.

Murmuring to himself, Kendall worked his way through the tents and booths, trying not to go in circles. "Well at least that explains why there's no one here."

Just as he spotted James, and a girl who very well could've been the one he was looking for, he heard a small voice behind him. "Kendewll?" He turned around, seeing a woman who looked in her upper 20s holding a camera, then he looked down to see a tiny figure standing at the lady's feet.

Smiling warmly, Kendall kneeled down. "Well hi there, little one," he lightly tapped her nose and she giggled shyly. "What's your name?"

The little girl swiveled from side to side, fiddling with her hands. "Addison.." she mumbled.

"Addison?" she nodded. "Well that's a pretty name!"

"Weally?" her little face lit up. "Tanks Kendewll!"

"You are very welcome, Addison. But can I ask you something?" Kendall glanced up at the little girl's, what he assumed to be, mother.

"Of couwse!"

He chuckled. "Will you take a picture with me?"

Addison gasped. "Weally?! Oh, pwease Kendewll!"

Kendall smiled and took the girl into his arms, standing up with her as her mother got her camera ready. Addison wrapped her little arms tight around Kendall's neck as she leaned her head against his and they smiled together.

Once Addison's mother snapped the picture, Kendall looked at the small girl in his arms. "Alright, make a silly face now!" he exclaimed. She squealed in approval as Kendall made the silliest face he could manage, and she stuck her tongue out at him.

"Okay, I wanna ask your mommy something real quick, 'kay?" he set Addison down gently and took a few steps towards her mother. "I'm putting a video together of this show when I get home… would it be okay if she was in it?"

The lady smiled. "Of course! She'll love that. I can film the both of you if you want?"

Kendall nodded with a smile, handing over his FlipCam once he turned it on. He turned back to the tiny girl that was patiently waiting for him. "Hey Addison," he kneeled down. "You wanna say something to the video camera?"

She smiled brightly, obviously excited. "Yes!" she paused for a moment. "I luhve Big Time Wush!" she giggled and looked to her mother and Kendall for approval.

Kendall laughed and said, "And I didn't even tell her to say that!" Grinning, he held his arms out and pulled the girl into his arms, hugging her, "Come here."

When Kendall said goodbye to Addison, he turned to find three girls, who looked to be about fourteen, standing there. "Oh my gosh!" one screeched. "That was so cute!"

Another cut in, "Yeah, you're hawt."

Kendall mentally sighed, but put on a fake smile. He loved all of his fans, but when they made it so obvious they were only interested in looks and not the music… "Howdy." He waved and approached them, catching a glimpse of James, Logan, and a small group of people close by out of the corner of his eye.

One of the girls latched themselves onto him and a camera blinded him before he realized what was going on. He laughed. "Let's redo that one."

Once more overexcited girls joined the ones already in his company and he took pictures and signed something for each of them, Kendall filmed them all, and finally James and Logan came to the rescue.

"Hey! You feeling better Kendall?" James raised his eyebrows, but smiled.

"Definitely." Kendall nodded, then laughed as the group of girls that had been all over him swarmed James and Logan.

Kendall looked around, still filming his surroundings as he slowly started sinking, getting the feeling he had missed his chance with the girl.

"You were precious with that little girl," Kendall stopped, the quiet, lightly coated Texas accent rang through his ears like an alarm. He spun around, and a smile grew on his face.

The girl was a few inches shy of his height, had chest-length light brown hair, and hazel eyes. She wore shorts that were neither too short, nor too long, topped with a floral tank paired with a vest, and finally his eyes landed on her sandaled feet, then back to her face. She was the opposite of skanky or trashy.

Kendall thought she was _beautiful._

He took a step forward. "So can I get your name?" he asked. That was already different. He rarely asked for a name.

She giggled. "Jade." He took another small step forward, waiting. "Thomas. Jade Thomas." He noticed her take a nervous breath, and his smile grew.

"Well, it's nice to officially meet you, Jade Thomas." He was now just a couple of feet away from her.

"Officially?"

"Well maybe it's just me, but I kind of feel like we sort of met at the show." He quirked an eyebrow. "I sang to you, you know."

"Oh, to me?" She feigned innocence with a British accent. "My, I hadn't noticed!" She smirked, her voice going back to normal to say, "I'm flattered."

He chuckled, noticing how quickly she was loosening up around him. "So you've been out here this whole time?" he asked.

"It's only been about an hour, but yeah." She nodded. "I rode a ride with Carlos, and we talked for a while. Then when Carlos got mobbed, I ran into James and Logan who just…" Her expression grew confused. "...randomly wanted to hang out? But we had fun." She shrugged.

Kendall liked listening to her talk, her voice was quiet, but a little rough, and her southern accent was slight, only noticeable on certain words. Before he realized he needed to reply to her, he felt her tug his wrist suddenly, jerking him behind the booth they were standing by. "Fangirl alert!" she whispered, backing into the tight space with him. He ducked behind her.

He turned his FlipCam on himself and gave it a thumbs up, smiling lightly. He stood when he heard "coast is clear." Kendall spun the girl around to thank her, and suddenly their bodies were close. They couldn't _not_be in the little-to-none space they had. Jade opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again, but didn't budge.

"How would you like to enjoy some rides with me?" he murmured, soaking up the beauty of her eyes in his.

"Kendall, the fair's about to close..." She looked behind her; most of the crowd from before had dissipated.

"Not for me." He smiled. "Come on!" He grabbed her arm, and dragged her out the other side of the space, going for the nearest ride.

Before he could even ask _What about this one?_Jade started backing away. "Oh no Kendall, no no no."

The Dungeon Drop. Kendall smirked. He hadn't really wanted to ride this one either, but now he did. "Oh, come on! Please, Jade?"

She shook her head. "No."

"Not with me?"

"No."

"Would you feel safer if the other guys rode too?"

"No."

He went in for the kill, taking a shot in the dark; he was making this an unofficial date. _Date?! Since when do I go on dates?_ "What if I hold your hand, then you can pick _any_ride you want after this?"

She looked at him and he raised his eyebrows hopefully; he could tell she was milling it over in her mind. She narrowed her eyes at him and sighed. "Fine," she said, cutting Kendall's cheerful 'YES!' off, she added, "But if you let go of my hand, I'm leaving." She nodded, but he could tell she was at least _half_-joking. He grinned at her and pulled her to the ride's entrance gate. The carnie nodded and let them through, following so he could properly buckle and lock them in.

Kendall noticed Jade's free hand shaking on her lap, the other gripping the bar holding them in. "I'm terrified of heights," she mumbled. He felt her body shiver against his as the cart glided upwards slowly, and she looked at him. "Fact number one about me..." She laughed nervously.

He gently reached over and snaked his fingers between hers; they interlocked perfectly. _What the hell am I thinking. _He smiled at her. "Well then we're in this together aren't we? Because so am I."

Jade shrieked and Kendall gasped as the cart lurched down unexpectedly, air beating against their face as their grips tightened on each other's hands. And a few, agonizing seconds later, they both breathed a huge sigh of relief when they were at the bottom again.

They stood at the same time, catching their balance, and when Kendall stepped off he realized their hands were still clasped together tightly, and in unison, they pulled away, saying "Oh…sorry," then smiled.

"So maybe that wasn't my best idea..." Kendall laughed as he followed Jade closely through the ride's exit.

"I could've told you that from the beginning." She turned her head to look at him with a smile as she kept walking. Kendall picked up his pace until he was at her side again. He just watched her as they walked for a moment, but she didn't seem to notice; she was soaking in her surroundings, looking at everything. "I think this place should probably be creepy so empty like this.." she met her company's eyes. "But it's kinda beautiful."

Kendall could tell this girl was one to find beauty in anything, but all he could truly pay attention to was the beauty in _her_.

"Mm." Jade looked ahead. "Fact number two. I _love_curly fries. Do you think they'd make one last batch?" she asked hopefully, watching the single person at the concession stand.

"Of course. Everything is open for us." He smiled, leading her towards the stand. "The…fair…is our oyster, I suppose you could say."

"Ya know, I've never understood that phrase." Jade shook her head.

"Yeah, me neither." Kendall laughed as they reached the stand. "One large order of curly fries, please." He smiled warmly at the lady behind the counter.

"How are you two tonight?" she asked as she adjusted the fryer; she already had a batch going.

"_I'm_great." Kendall looked at Jade for a response.

"As am I," Jade smiled, only taking her eyes from his for a split second. "How are you ma'am?"

"Tired, but I'm well."

After a moment's silence filled with staring, Kendall wondering what the hell was going on with himself, and Jade wondering how she ended up in this amazing situation in the first place, Kendall spoke up again. "So which ride are you taking me on next?" He felt his thumb brush against her pinky and noticed a light blush rush to her cheeks. He contained a smile, for some reason having to resist caressing her pinked face.

"I haven't decided yet. I was going to make it brutal..." She smirked. "But then _I'd_have to go on it, too, so…"

"Smart girl." He chuckled. "Well good. Can I make a suggestion?"

"Of course."

"Tilt-a-whirl?"

Her face lit up. "Yes! My favorite."

He smiled. "Great. We'll get the guys and get them to ride also, so we can film it." He noticed a look flash across Jade's face. Disappointment? He realized his fault, and quickly recovered. "And uh, maybe we can ride it again later. Just us." _This is a date. This is a fucking date._

She looked at him and realized just how close they actually were. Silence.

"How 'bout some drinks?" The concession lady slid the styrofoam container of fries towards them with a small smile.

Jade jumped, having forgotten where she was. "Oh, yes ma'am, a drink sounds great. Coke, please."

"I'll take the same," Kendall added.

"Oh, kiddos... I've only got one cup left." The lady looked around. "I'm sorry, I'll go get one from the corndog stand!"

"Ma'am, ma'am!" Kendall wanted to catch her before she ran off. "It's fine." He smiled. "Just get m'lady here hers, and I'll go without." _M'lady? _Kendall was sure he was losing his mind.

Jade opened her mouth to protest, feeling her face redden to a highly embarrassing degree, but the carnie spoke first, "You could always share, I suppose!" and went about fixing the drink.

"Here, I've got a ton of tokens left," Jade dug in her pockets. "How much will it be?"

The lady set the soda in front of them. "It's on the house!"

"A-Are you sure?" Jade hesitated.

"Of course, dear. The sight of young love just puts me in a giving mood, I guess!" She smiled warmly.

Kendall looked at Jade with his mouth open, no words coming out. _Love _was not what this was. Jade's eyebrows furrowed and she stammered, "Oh… we're, uh, we're not, uh, together…"

The lady just winked and walked to the back, resuming the cleaning she had been doing when they arrived.

"Um, well, thank you!" Jade grabbed the fries and some napkins, still feeling awkward about the woman's assumption, and Kendall took the drink, following her towards the nearest bench to sit, pondering the situation. "So do you care if we share this?" Jade motioned to the drink in the man's hand as he sat right next to her. "I don't want you to go drinkless." She set the to-go container on her lap, since he didn't leave space between them.

"I don't have a problem with it if you don't." He smiled a toothless smile, and with the most innocent look he could muster, took a sip.

She laughed and Kendall watched as she snatched the curliest fry she could find from her lap. He reached over and grabbed one as well, and in mid-chew, leaned the drink her way. "Drink, m'lady?"

Jade bit the inside of her lip. _That's twice in less than two minutes. _"Don't mind if I do." She smiled and gently took the drink in her hand, taking a couple of small sips.

They were almost finished when Kendall's phone rang. "Sup Logan!"

"Hey man. Where the hell are you?"

Kendall spoke with a mouth full of fries. "Oh, by one of the concession stands. Hey, get the guys and meet us at the Tilt-a-Whirl, will you? I wanna film some stuff."

"Us?"

Kendall really didn't feel like getting into another argument. "Yeah. Be there in five minutes!" He hung up.

Jade had taken the liberty to pull her own phone out for the first time since before the concert, and gasped. "Oh my god, I'm such a horrible friend."

"What? Why?" Kendall stared at her anxious face.

"I just- I completely forgot about Leslie." Realizing Kendall was wanting some kind of further explanation, she continued. "My friend. She got sick right before the show and told me to go on while she went to get her medicine… oh my god I can't believe I didn't even think about her!"

"Well… did she… leave already? Is she mad?"

"Um…" Jade hadn't even looked at the text from her friend yet. "No? She did leave, but she put a smiley face?" She shrugged. "I still feel horrible."

"Well I'll take full blame for it." Kendall smirked, and when Jade locked eyes with him, he looked _smug_. After a moment's silence, Jade stood up taking the styrofoam container to the nearest trashcan. When she turned, Kendall was right on her tail. "Something wrong?" he murmured. That look was still in his eyes.

_Those beautiful green eyes…_ She figured she would drag out being playfully frustrated with him just for the hell of it. "Oh no, nothing's wrong!" She shook her head with a sarcastic look on her face. "Come on, let's go meet your friends."

"But-" Kendall narrowed his eyes as she quickly lead the way towards the Tilt-a-Whirl. He knew she was kidding. It was written all over her face. But that was okay with him; he liked games, even if this was a different game than he was used to playing. When his bandmates came into view, he was at her side again. "You're gonna sit with me on this, aren't you?" He was pulling out his video camera as he spoke.

"Um, actually, I think I'll ride with Carlos and James! Hey guys!" She grinned at the two men who looked curiously at the sound of their names, but even more at the sight of Jade and Kendall. "Let's go!" She walked through the gate to the ride.

"Oh, so y'all were gonna get on without us? That's just rude!" Jade turned around to see Dustin and Logan running up. She laughed, and Carlos passed her to pick a cart to sit in.

"Oh, number nine is the fast one, Carlos!" Jade exclaimed at the same time Dustin shouted, "Number nine!"

Jade took off running after Carlos, with James right behind her, all laughing. "Oh no you don't!" she yelled. Dustin, Logan, and Kendall were coming up from the other side, but the others were just too quick. Carlos hopped over the bar, Jade tripped and fell on top of him, and James ended up on top of her. "Well, I hope you guys are comfortable enough with people you barely know!" Jade exclaimed through fits and giggles as James struggled to scoot away.

James just laughed, but Carlos said, "I know you well enough," with a smile.

"I guess you do," Jade grinned back as James finally scooted over to the other side, allowing her to fall in between the guys. Carlos was even more adorable close up, and she was still having a hard time believing her brain had basically tossed him out in favor of Kendall.

But she couldn't escape it.

She looked up to see the other three boys pouting because they had to get on cart number ten. She smirked when Kendall gave her a playfully reproachful look and plopped down. Then she realized Dustin was talking to her. "Hey Jade, I don't know if you talked to Leslie, but she left right after the show. I told her I'd bring you to the hotel later!"

She realized even if Kendall hadn't had his attention on her all night, they probably would've ended up spending a little time together anyways. "Oh, thanks Dustin!" She saw Kendall's bewildered look in her peripheral view, and then he began feverishly discussing something with his best friend. Carlos huffed next to her as the carts slowly began moving. She glanced uncertainly over at him, but disregarded it, because the Tilt-a-Whirl was gaining speed fast.

Kendall filmed mostly Jade, Carlos, and James' ridiculous faces the entire ride, every now and then turning the camera to face himself, Dustin, and Logan. They all screamed like little girls, even though the ride wasn't frightening at all, and then, too soon, it was over.

Carlos jumped up first. "Well, that was fun. You wanna go ride something else, Jade? James?" Jade couldn't help but notice a hint of venom in his voice, as if he was frustrated or just wanted to get out of there.

James agreed, but Jade shook her head. "I'm gonna stay here for a minute..." Carts nine and ten weren't facing each other, but she knew she'd be found in a matter of seconds. She smirked. She could be smug too.

"Alright…" Carlos said uncertainly, and walked away with James.

Sure enough, as soon as everyone's voices started to fade as they left the area, a blonde head peeked around the side of her cart. "So," he said. "Wanna ride again?"

She retained her smile as best as she could. "I don't know if I want to ride with someone so smug about himself."

"Ouch." A hint of a smile peeked on Kendall's face, and he plopped down next to her. "Alright, folks." He still had his camera out. Jade scooted as far away from him as she could. "Jade here is mad at me, because I was simply trying to be a good friend and tell her she could blame me for _forgetting _her_ friend! _What kind of person does something like that anyways?" He scoffed playfully and saw her roll her eyes.

"It was your _tone_…" She could already feel her façade faltering.

"I have no idea what she's talking about," he said into the camera. "All I know is Jade here is going to ride the Tilt-a-Whirl with me, whether she likes it or not!" and then he added in a whisper, "She's gonna like it."

"Oh, look! There you go ag-"

"SIR! CAN YOU START THE RIDE UP AGAIN PLEASE?!" And he did. "THANK YOU!" He scooted as close as he could possibly get to her, trapping her in the corner. "Now you're stuck with me." He smiled his toothless grin that she was beginning to love and just laughed, giving in, and playfully elbowed him in the stomach.

The way the ride started spinning would force Kendall's body against Jade's, and he took advantage of it. He turned his torso towards her, pretty much blocking her from anything outside the cart. She opened her mouth to say something, but couldn't get any words out. Kendall bit his lip; they were really close. "You wanna hold my hand again?" He bit back the huge grin that wanted to appear on his face, both from how idiotic that question sounded, and just the moment.

Jade's "no" would've been more convincing had she not slid her hand closer to his and let him slowly and comfortably lace his fingers through hers. Jade's brain went into overdrive. _What does all of this mean?_

Kendall wanted to kiss her. So badly. And he knew that if it had been any other girl sitting beside him, he would've done it already and more. But Jade… Jade was different. _Something_ was holding him back.

As they walked, hand in hand, away from the Tilt-a-Whirl, Jade laughed uneasily. "So, this is kind of embarrassing, but I am human… I really have to go to the bathroom."

Kendall let out a breathy laugh. "Come on. There's one in my dressing room. It's much nicer than a port-o-potty!" He picked up his pace as they turned left, towards the building containing the guys' dressing rooms.

"Thanks." Jade let go of his hand as Kendall pointed out the restroom door. She pulled her phone out of her pocket. "Is it weird that I don't like to take my phone into a restroom?" She set it down on the counter next to the door, laughed, and walked inside.

Kendall chuckled, it was kind of weird, but a _cute_ weird… and then his eyes landed on the phone.

He saw an opportunity.

* * *

><p>"You didn't even get his number?!"<p>

_Uh-oh_.

"Jade, you didn't. Get. His. _Number_!?"

"Les, I didn't… I didn't even _think_ about it. There were just so many other things going on in my head like, _What does that look mean? What does him holding my hand mean?_ And such!" Jade plopped down on the hotel room bed she and her best friend were sharing, clutching a small tan teddy bear to her stomach.

"_He held your hand?!"_ Leslie jumped on the bed next to Jade, landing on her knees. "Jade. Thomas. Start from the freaking beginning, and tell me _everything._ Don't leave _anything _out!"

So Jade started from the beginning. She told Leslie how Kendall just seemed to draw her in, and how when the boys took a long time to come back on stage before their last song, she could just read Kendall, and knew something was wrong. Then she proceeded about stumbling into Carlos, and then James and Logan. And as she got into officially meeting Kendall and beyond that, she could hardly believe the words that were coming out of her mouth.

"When I walked out of the bathroom, he was sitting on the couch, so his back was to me," Jade fell back onto the bed thoughtfully, being pulled back into the vivid memory of a mere few hours before.

_Jade stalked over to the couch carefully. Kendall didn't seem to have heard her yet. She smirked. When she got close enough, she jumped, throwing her hands on his shoulders. It felt to her that she had pushed him forward, but as she still gripped his shoulders and was dragged halfway across the back of the couch, she realized she had scared him that bad. Her laugh sounded hysterical as he came to his senses and dragged her completely over the back of the couch until she did somewhat of a flip, with her head landing on his lap, and her legs dangling over the armrests. "Hi," she said with a giggle._

_ Kendall was trying to look angry, but his expression faltered quickly, and he began laughing as well. "Don't worry," he said. "I'll get you back."_

_ She shook her head as if not believing it, and settled into the couch more comfortably. "It feels nice to lie down." She let her eyelids slide shut._

_ She didn't see the small smile on his face. A smile that could've easily told her how he felt in this moment with her, what was inevitable; that he was falling for her. She just heard him say, "Don't fall asleep on me! The night's not over!"_

_ Jade opened her eyes to see the beautiful man grinning down at her. It was contagious. "I wouldn't fall asleep tonight…"_

_ He beamed at her, really refraining from stroking her hair. "So tell me about yourself Miss Jade!" he exclaimed. "What do I need to know about you besides being afraid of heights and loving curly fries?"_

_ Something stirred inside Jade at the word _need._ Something about the sound of it gave her the impression that he wanted to continue knowing her past this night; that there was something for them, somehow, in the future._

_ But she couldn't afford to hold onto hopes like that._

"I was different with him, Les." Jade searched the white ceiling as if it held some sort of answer for her. "A completely different person. But… a good different. At least I _think_."

"I think that's something you need to keep in mind," Leslie said meaningfully.

"What do you mean?"

Leslie shook her head, not wanting to bring Chad into this and rain on her parade, because as far as Leslie could tell, Jade hadn't thought about Chad in _hours. _By far a new record. "Just continue with your story!"

_Jade and Kendall talked for what seemed like an eternity in that room, until the lights ended up going off on them; the working crew didn't think anybody was left in the building. So they ran out blindly, Jade clutching Kendall from behind, finding a new appreciation to not being blind on a daily basis. And as soon as they found the liberty of the fairgrounds, able to see again, Kendall made sure to find her hand and grab a hold of it just like before._

_ It just felt right._

_ They turned down an aisle of booth games, some closed, a few open. "Oh, let's play!" Jade exclaimed, dragging Kendall to the football tire toss booth._

_ "Oh, I totally got this." Kendall stepped forward cockily._

_ Jade pulled him back. "I think I can handle it." She smirked._

_ She thought she heard Kendall scoff as the carnie handed her a football, and she wished she could've seen his face when the ball left her hands, a perfect spiral, and shot straight through the tire. "Nice shot!" the old man exclaimed, handing her another ball._

_ Jade just smiled and made her next two throws the exact same way as the first, earning herself any prize from the booth that she wanted. "How about… the white tiger?" she pointed it out, but the old man hesitated._

_ "You know you can have one of these huge prizes, right?" he asked._

_ "Of course." She grinned. "But the tiger is adorable."_

_ The man laughed and handed it over, congratulating her, and then she finally faced Kendall, who was gawking at her. "What?" she giggled. "I'm a southern girl. I've been able to throw a football since I was eight." She shrugged._

_ She hooked her arm through his and pulled him away from the football booth. He had this weird smile on his face that Jade just couldn't place. "You're unbelievable," he murmured._

_ Jade felt the heat rush to her cheeks yet again as he took the lead, finding another game. He stopped when they reached the Bottle Pitch, where you had three tries to knock down five bottles with baseballs. "How about you let me play this one, and see if I can uh, out-show you?" Kendall grinned jokingly and asked the woman for three baseballs._

_ "But Kendall, this one's impossible!" Jade pulled on the back of his shirt, but he just turned his head to look at her and smirked. Respectfully, Jade stepped aside to watch the young man attempt the game. And was proved wrong. Kind of._

_ It took him all three shots, but he knocked all of the bottles down but one from the table. "Looks like luck is somewhat on my side tonight." He met her eyes with underlying emotions; there was double meaning to his words. But it was time to pick a prize. "I'll take…" He searched carefully. "That little tan teddy bear right there."_

_ When the carnie handed Kendall the bear, Jade just looked at him. "But-"_

_ Kendall shook his head. "Who said it was for me?" He held out the small stuffed animal in front of him, waiting for Jade to take it._

_ For a moment, Jade simply locked eyes with him, wonder overwhelming her, and the questions at the back of her mind really set in. Why her? What in this world had she done to deserve this kind of treatment? From Kendall of all people?_ _She smiled shyly, and reached for the stuffed animal, her fingertips grazing his as she accepted it. Her cheeks felt hot again, but this time, Kendall caressed one of those pink cheeks with the back of his cool hand lightly, completely unable in that moment to hold back. "Come on," he murmured. "Let's walk."_

_ Jade was dazed, but ridiculously glad her legs were working as he placed his hand on the small of her back, leading her away from the game booths. "Before you freak, hear me out." His voice sounded distant in Jade's mind; she was pretty much on Cloud Nine. She gazed at him curiously. "I know heights aren't your thing. Not mine either. But Dustin said the ferris wheel has a pretty awesome view, and I bet it's even better at night, and I just-… I want, I want to ride it with you…"_

_ Not even sure if the words at the tip of her tongue made sense, Jade smiled softly. "I trust you, Kendall."_

_ He seemed warmed _and_ bothered by that comment, but she didn't catch his uncomfortableness on the subject of trust, and he led her to the ferris wheel, where he whispered to the carnie, "Keep it at the top."_

_ No nerves seemed to be eating at Jade as they sat in a cart, tucking her two prizes under the bar that would hold them in. She was still out of her right mind. He didn't hold her hand as they slowly traveled upwards, even though it was the perfect opportunity, but she found herself okay with that, because just being here with him was incredible in itself. She yawned, but felt wide awake. And then Kendall yawned, slouching down in his seat and resting his head against Jade's shoulder. They remained silent._

_ It felt to both of them that they should be witnessing the sun rise as the wheel halted when they reached the top, but truly it was about midnight. But the sight was still beautiful. At just the perfect distance, they could see the city lights and the skyline of Dallas. Dallas was colorful, because along with the normal yellow and white lights shining from the buildings, some had blue, purple, green, or red lights. It was an interesting sight._

_ Minutes that felt like hours passed, before Kendall's phone began ringing in his pocket. It was Dustin. "Hey man. Sorry to put an end to you guys' little moment on the ferris wheel, but it's time to go if we want to get Jade to her hotel and make it to the next city on time."_

_ Kendall just hung up, looking below to see Dustin a distance away. He sighed, motioning to the carnival worker to bring them down. He didn't have comfortable silences like that with anyone, ever. He didn't want it to end._

_ He didn't want this night with Jade to end._

_ He and Jade both quietly thanked the worker, and Jade gave him the rest of her tokens, hoping that would somehow tip him. She wanted to say something to interrupt her and Kendall's silence, but she was just so… out of it. Dizzy almost. But serene._

_ They snapped out of their weird state a little in the van, laughing and chatting about nonsense with Dustin and James. And after a quick goodbye to those two, Kendall walked her up to her hotel room. _

"_I had a really great time tonight," he said as they reached her door._

_ Jade grinned. "Me too…" She paused. "Thanks for everything tonight. The concert was enough, but spending time with you really made the night special; I needed tonight, soo… thanks." She looked down when she realized she was rambling._

_ "It was my pleasure." The grin on his face seemed endless._

_ She hesitated. "Why don't you take this…" She held out her stuffed white tiger. "You know, to uh, remember me by?" She looked up at him through long eyelashes as he slowly took the tiger from her. _

_ "Thanks." But he knew he wouldn't forget her. He would see her again. _

_ They reached for a hug at the same time. Jade tightly wrapped her arms around his neck, and Kendall squeezed her torso to his longingly. He was debating whether a kiss to her hair or cheek would be too much to her when the door next to them opened. Leslie. "Oh, hey… Jade…!" She paused uncertainly. "Uh, Kendall…"_

_ Kendall smiled into Jade's hair, giving her one last squeeze. "See ya later," he murmured, then softly placed his lips on her cheek. "Later Leslie!" He waved at Jade's friend and turned to leave._

"And here we are…" Jade said thoughtfully.

With a smirk, Leslie said, "You didn't have to repeat that last part, 'cause you know, I did witness it."

For the first time throughout her whole story, Jade looked at her friend. A smile slowly took over her face. "I know," she said. "I just really wanted to hear that out loud."

Leslie laughed, then slapped Jade's arm playfully. "Jade, this was_ totally_ a date."

Jade's smile faltered and she furrowed her eyebrows. "Was not."

Leslie rolled her eyes. "Based on what you told me, he made y'alls night a date when he made you ride the Dungeon Drop." When Jade opened her mouth to respond, Leslie just shook her head. "You can argue with me all you want. You deny everything a boy does towards you, so I know better!"

Jade just laughed. "Whatever, Les. It was just a fun night with an extremely nice guy!"

"Do you hear yourself?" Leslie laughed hysterically, then smirked. "How mysterious does Kendall seem now?"

Jade frantically shook her head. "It's _worse _now! At least before he had mysterious going for him, now I'm just freakin' confused! Like who _does that_ to someone like me?"

Leslie shook her head and sighed. "Here's something for you then." She looked hard at her best friend. "Did you think about Chad _at all_ while you were with Kendall?"

Jade gaped, staying silent.

"That's right." Leslie nodded approvingly. "You didn't think about him _once._"


	3. Contact

**3 – Contact **- _"The scars of your love, they leave me breathless. I can't help feeling that we could have had it all." – Adele (Rolling in the Deep)_

Even though she denied every time Leslie mentioned it, Jade missed Kendall terribly. But it wasn't a miserable feeling like it always had been with Chad. No, she was doing better than she ever thought she would so soon. It was more of a longing. She liked the way their hands felt entwined. She wanted him to look at her like he had before they got on the ferris wheel, like she was the only person in the world. She even wanted the annoying feeling of butterflies back in the pit of her stomach.

But she was worried about these feelings, too. He wasn't just some rebound, was he? Could you rebound from a relationship that didn't completely exist? She didn't want these feelings to only be because he gave her his attention, rather than an actual connection. Because even though Kendall was fairly straight-forward, there was almost something about him that had seemed detached. And she couldn't put her finger on why.

* * *

><p>It had been close to a month since the fair but all Jade had to do was shut her eyes and she was back there, standing in front of him, clutching her teddy bear that lives on her bed.<p>

She guessed she could always try and talk to him via Twitter, but it just didn't feel right. And _Carlos_ hadn't even said anything to her on the site since _'Tilt-a-Whirl craziness with the guys and JadeT!" _That tweet earned her a _lot_ of curious followers and mentions.

Jade sighed, slipping into her car, ready for a fun day and girls night with Leslie. The latter was treating her friend to a manicure and pedicure, and both had purchased provisions to pig out on nachos, ice cream, and chocolate while they watched their favorite movies, played video games, or danced around ridiculously.

But there was one part of a typical girls night that Jade couldn't escape.

Boy talk.

"I just can't believe he hasn't at least followed you on Twitter!" Leslie exclaimed. Jade choked with laughter; she said it like following on Twitter was a marriage proposal or something. "I mean, no number? Fine. But not even Twitter acknowledgement? Unacceptable. Who does he think he is?"

Jade was still laughing. "He's Kendall, and he meets new girls every day. I'm probably long forgotten by now."

"No. I _saw_ the way he looked at you, Jade." Leslie shook her head stubbornly. "And why do you seem so okay with that idea?"

Jade shrugged. She was oddly content. "I don't think it was 100% real. I mean, love at first sight? That's complete bullshit." She sighed. "I don't know. I think we were just caught up in a moment. It's all so unrealistic. I mean, I live here, in Texas, and he lives in California, _and_ is constantly traveling."

"Y'all would make it." Leslie was quiet, but certain.

"What?"

"If you two were together, you would last through his touring Jade."

Jade furrowed her eyebrows, fighting the raging butterflies in her stomach that erupted at the thought. "Where is this coming from, Les?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I just have this gut feeling I guess." She looked her best friend in the eyes. "Something amazing is going to come out of this. Things are going to work out for you, Jade."

Jade shook her head, certain points in her life flashing through her mind, all drawing up one conclusion. _That's not possible._

* * *

><p><em>Pen to paper<em>. An overwhelmingly-familiar feeling as of late. Every word or phrase that came to Kendall's mind was written in a notebook. And every word or phrase that actually made sense, was written in another. Post-It notes and balled up sheets of paper were scattered across his desk and floor. All his thoughts.

He had to figure out what was going on with him.

Kendall was usually surprised his hand never cramped up; sometimes he wrote furiously for hours, emptying his brain onto the paper lying before him. When he wasn't writing, he was moving. He'd swim laps in the pool behind the house he and Dustin shared. Some days he'd spend hours in Whole Foods Market. He'd stayed full days at the beach, and visited the Santa Monica Pier. He'd spent long nights in his personal studio. This was all aside from regular meetings about the production of the second season of the show, or the first album. Script readings, and auditions for one-episode roles on other shows. Two red carpet events.

He was restless.

"I feel like he hasn't slept in weeks," Dustin whispered as he and James observed their friend from the bedroom doorway.

"You know, I really wanna ask him to go out with Logan and me tonight," James whispered back. "I mean he's turned me down every time I've invited him out, when he used to _never _pass up the opportunity… but he hasn't even attempted to screw any girls for the past month and frankly, I don't want to ruin that no-slut streak." He raised his eyebrows. Yeah, they were _guys_, but they didn't particularly agree with Kendall's style. It worried them. But this eccentric state he had fallen into since the Texas fair almost worried them more.

Dustin nodded. "It just doesn't make sense how he became so infatuated with Jade. Like, it's great he's actually interested in someone in a normal way, but… I don't know."

"Love at first sight?" James suggested, clearly remembering Kendall's interest in Jade before he met her, _and _how he didn't try spreading her legs even _once _that night.

They stepped away from Kendall's door, turning for the staircase. Dustin gave James an incredulous look. "Let's be real. That's bullshit. Only lust at first sight," he said.

"I don't think it was even that though..." James looked up, thinking back. "What caught his attention was how calm she was in the crowd, at least he said that's what he _thinks._"

"Maybe he's finally sick of crazy fangirls and trashy whores."

"Maybe there _was _some sort of _first sight _connection." James shrugged. " Or maybe this just isn't real."

Dustin knew that was what all of the guys thought, that it just wasn't real. But this was his _best friend_ they were dealing with. Something was different. This was real in _some_ way. It was obvious in the way Kendall carried himself now. "Well whatever it is, it's made him more productive than ever." He plopped down on the couch in the living room. "He's written four, maybe five, solid HD songs. And a couple with a lot of potential for you guys."

"Wow… really? I kinda thought there'd be more though."

"Oh there are…" Dustin cringed slightly. "But he's literally writing down everything that comes to mind. He wrote a four minute song about Whole Foods…"

"Oh…"

"Yeah, exactly." Dustin shook his head. "It was about him scanning the aisles trying to find the perfect ingredient or some shit like that."

"Well at least he's not like, depressed!" James exclaimed. "That'd just be weird."

Dustin nodded in agreement. "He needs to see her."

"It'd be so easy to contact her, I don't understand why he won't just do it already."

"You know Kendall and his _plans_. It has to work out _exactly_ how he wants."

* * *

><p>"Jade."<p>

She dearly missed the way he said her name.

"Jade!"

"_I'm right here, Kendall."_

"Oh my god, JADE!"

Jade's eyes shot open, then squinted; the room was a lot brighter than she thought. She could've sworn it had been night, and that she was on a ferris wheel… _Kendall_. "Did I say that last thing out loud?" She groggily rubbed her eyes and sat up.

"Yes, but there's an emergency!" Leslie jumped on her friend's legs.

Jade was more alert now. "What? What's wrong!"

"That update my phone downloaded last night _deleted all my contacts_!" Leslie looked utterly distressed. "I wouldn't have waken you up, but you _put a password_ on your phone so I couldn't get into it to look at your contacts!"

"Okay, okay, Les, calm down." Jade grabbed her phone from her bedside table, trying not to be annoyed that Leslie had really worried her for a second, and quickly put in her password and handed over the device. Something in Jade felt great, though. Something was telling her today would be a good day.

"Thank you! Now you can go back to sleep. Or you know, you can stay up and keep me company while I put these numbers in my phone…" Leslie grinned cheesily.

Jade laughed lightly. "Sure. How about we go pick up some breakfast?"

"Ooh, you're in a lovely mood this morning!" Leslie nudged her friend playfully. "Let's go!"

Once the girls had their buffet of food and had gotten back to Leslie's is when Leslie started her complaining. "I'm only on the C's Jade!" Jade just laughed and grabbed the TV remote, surfing quickly through channels. "Too bad BTR isn't on," Leslie smirked.

"Very funny, Leslie." Jade settled on a random dance movie.

Leslie shook her head. "You and your dance movies."

"Shut up, they're great," Jade responded defensively, then sighed. "I wish I could dance like that."

"Yeah, well you can act _better_ than that. You should've went to college and majored in theatre."

Jade shrugged it off, shoving a piece of bacon in her mouth.

"What letter are you on?" It felt like hours had passed and Jade was exasperated; she wanted her phone. _Not to check Twitter or anything…_

"J! I'm almost halfway there!"

Jade sighed. Almost halfway there. She was losing patience. She had lost interest in the movie and was failing miserably at turning the paper that had wrapped her biscuit into a goose. Or was it a swan?

"What the hell."

Jade shook her head, focusing on her paper goose/swan thing.

"Jade, what the hell!" Leslie's voice was packed with different emotions, like she didn't even know how she felt about whatever it was she was freaking out over.

"Wha-"

"Have you been keeping this from me or something?"

Jade groaned. "Leslie, what are you talking about!"

Leslie held the phone in her hand in Jade's face. Jade's phone. The phone was too close. Jade's eyes took a second to adjust, and she froze as soon as they did. "What the-"

_ Kendall Schmidt._

"Is this a jo-" Jade stopped. She was paused uncertainly. She hadn't even been thinking about the night of the fair at first as millions of possibilities zoomed through her mind. But now she remembered something. _Maybe_… "Bless never having a password on this phone before, oh my-" Without hesitation, she tapped 'call contact,' and the call connected.

"You're calling him? Just like that? This isn't like you, Jade, you usually think things through, but wait-!"

"Leslie, stop talking!" Jade shouted, concentrating on the ringing. Third ring, fourth…

"No, Jade, look-!"

"Sssshhhh!" Jade put a hand up, trying to block out Leslie's babbling. Sixth ring. She was losing hope fast.

Then the line went quiet. Could she hear movement or was that her brain exploding? "Hello…?"

Jade's intake of breath was sharp at the sound of the raspy, but all too familiar voice. It was him. _Keep cool, Jade. Keep cool._ "You think you're real clever, huh?" She heard Leslie gasp.

But the line was silent for a moment. Then Jade heard another gasp. Not Leslie. "Jade!" A smile instantly lit the girl's face.

It sounded like he was on a bed, moving around a lot. "Oh my god, did I wake you up?!" Jade looked at the time. It was only a little after eight AM in California. _Oops._ _That must've been what Leslie was trying to say._

"It's fine, it's fine," Kendall's voice actually rang through Jade's ears like a song. She thought people only reacted like that in books and movies. Kendall sighed. "It took you long enough to find my name." She could hear that smug smirk in his voice.

Jade plopped back down on the couch. "What's wrong with being simple, Kendall?"

"Well where's the fun in that, sweetheart?"

"Well I mean…" she trailed off, stopping herself. She couldn't just tell him that she felt like they had wasted a month, now that she was actually talking to him again.

"Yeah, I know…" he murmured. _Does he?_ "Would I be out of line if I said I miss you?"

"As long as it's okay that I miss you too…" She felt a fist hit her leg excitedly. _Oh, right_. Leslie was still there.

He made a sound like a mixture of approval and contentment. The sound warmed Jade.

"Why don't you go back to sleep?" Jade cooed softly.

He groaned. "I want to talk to you."

Jade giggled. "You can talk to me later, whenever you want. Go to sleep."

"Whenever I want?" He sounded like a small child, and like he was already falling asleep.

"Whenever you want."

"Even if it's four in the morning?"

Jade laughed. "Umm… we'll see about that one."

"I'm kidding." Kendall sighed. "I'll talk to you later, I promise."

"Sweet dreams, Kendall." And after one more tired, soft sound of acknowledgement, the call ended.

"Jade, you're shaking!" Leslie grabbed a hold of one of her friend's wrists.

She was. She tried to control it, but couldn't. "Please, please, please tell me I'm not dreaming, Leslie."

"Jade!" Leslie grabbed Jade's face and forced her to look at her. "It _happened_. You can talk to Kendall now because of his apparently clever-ass!"

Jade nodded, still in disbelief. "He did it when I went to the bathroom in his dressing room..."

"And you left your phone out because you don't bring it in with you- of course!" Leslie hugged the still slightly shocked brunette in pure excitement. "He's brilliant! _And_ he said he misses you! So. When's the wedding?" She smirked.

Jade covered her face, delighted, embarrassed, and any other emotion one could think of. "Shut up! He still lives halfway across the country."

"That's what video chats and roadtrips are for!" Leslie said matter-of-factly. "Not to mention I would love to see Dustin again."

"Oh, really?" Jade stared at her friend in question. "Dustin? When did this happen?"

Leslie shrugged. "We clicked. I just… I don't know. Didn't realize it until I started missing him, I guess."

"What the hell happened between you two? You never told me!"

"Because there's nothing to tell." She sighed. "_Definitely_ nothing like you and Kendall."

Jade blushed. "Forget me and Kendall. We've spent way, and I mean _way_, too much time talking about that. You and Dustin. Go."

Leslie laughed. "He just took care of me, is all. He was very gentle and sweet-"

"Doesn't sound like your type at all." Jade winked.

Leslie rolled her eyes. "And didn't try to jump in my pants. He just asked me a bunch of questions to keep my mind off the pain."

"Awww." Jade smiled.

"Jade, no. That's not an _aw_ moment. Well. It is, but I think that's just his nature." She shrugged.

"Leslie listen to us. How did we end up in these situations?!" The girls allowed themselves one girly squeal before laughing and talking more about it well into the afternoon.

* * *

><p>James leaned across the table to harshly whisper to Logan and Dustin, "He looks <em>cheery-<em>"

"Hi guys!" Kendall smiled and went straight to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. He plopped down next to James. "Whatcha eatin'?"

James slowly grabbed the bag of food they'd set aside for their friend, carefully watching him. "Coral Café….. we brought you some…."

"So!" Dustin exclaimed, refraining from kicking James under the table. "How was your sleep?"

"Great! Much needed." Kendall smiled a toothless grin and opened the box of delicious food awaiting him. "You shoulda woke me up though," he said through a mouthful of grilled chicken. "We were supposed to work on HD stuff today, but it's already…" He checked his phone. "Five o'clock."

Dustin shrugged. "No big deal. You're off tomorrow too."

Kendall beamed at his best friend, and continued to consume his food. "Mm, thanks for the food by the way. Lunch is on me tomorrow."

A grin slowly overtook Dustin's face. "She called, didn't she?"

Kendall laughed, for no reason. "Yes. Jade called."

"And he's back!" James slapped his friend on the back, but received a look that said 'I never left' and he recoiled.

Logan struggled to speak with his mouth overstuffed with chicken and rice. "So when're ya flying'r ovuhr?"

"Umm…" Kendall picked at his food. "We didn't talk _that_ much. Who's to say she'd even want to, you know, or that she's even interested like that? Or that I even am…"

All three guys' faces went from _you're ridiculous _to blank at his words. Kendall was just as confused as his friends about what he was going through. Dustin tried to make light of the confusing subject. "I've never seen you in denial about a girl before," he observed.

"Yeah, you're always so cocky," Logan added nonchalantly, sipping his lemonade. Dustin slapped the back of his head, causing him to temporarily choke on his drink. While Dustin was usually straight-forward, he at least thought before he spoke. Logan? Not so much.

"Thanks?" Kendall shrugged. He didn't really know what to think now that he was awake, in more ways than one. He had a clear head for the first time in a month. _Would_ she fly out to California for him? What had drawn him to her in the first place? As Carlos had so blatantly pointed out, Kendall didn't have girlfriends, he had _skanks_. He was never attracted to anyone less than just sexually. "Where's Carlos?" he asked suddenly. No one said anything. "He's still not talking to me." Kendall looked genuinely hurt.

"He'll come around, man." James shrugged.

"Well now that Jade's back in the pict-" Logan's comment was cut short by another blow to the back of his head by Dustin. "What?!" Logan exclaimed, rubbing the back of his head defensively. "I'm just saying!"

"Guys, I hate that Carlos isn't talking to me." Kendall sighed. "But I stand by everything I said the night of the Texas show, and everything I've said since then. I don't know what this is, but it's different. So different."

Jade couldn't help but feel anxious all day. But she was determined _not_ to let Kendall take over her day. She would _not_ be that girl that sits by the phone waiting for a boy to call her. Besides, he probably wouldn't even remember; he _had_ been half asleep when they talked.

No, she and Leslie spent the day going to every pet store in the area, looking for Jade's perfect dog. She had always wanted her own, preferably an Australian Shepherd, but couldn't find the _perfect_ one. So she dragged Leslie along at least once a month on a search, but always came up empty handed. Then they watched another movie, ordered pizza, went out for ice cream, and finally concluded their get-together at close to midnight. They really didn't understand why they didn't just live together, because there was no doubt they'd be together again tomorrow.

Jade had managed to keep her mind off of the obvious cause of her anxiety until now. She was alone. She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel of her car very off-beat from the Dashboard Confessional song playing. What if he really did call at four in the morning? She'd take that over him not calling at all. No. _Stop it, _she thought. It wouldn't be a big deal if he didn't call her. She wasn't _really_ into him. Right? They were just building a friendship… right?

She saw her parents' country club up ahead. She saw the moonlight gleam on the pool water and was instantly brought back to her last time in that pool with Chad. _No, no, no_, _bad time for a memory to strike._ Too late.

_"How about a late night swim?" Jade jumped when Chad snuck up behind her. They were closed and had just cleaned up the club._

_ "Oh, but Chad," she started in a faux proper tone. "That would be breaking the rules!" Fake worrying about breaking the rules had become a sort of inside joke for the two, because they always broke the rules._

_ His body was practically pressed against her back as he whispered almost seductively. "Yeah, 'cause we've never broken the rules before..." She shuddered, and without another word, let him lead her out to the darkened pool._

_ He immediately dived in, and she was quick to follow. But when she surfaced, Chad was nowhere to be seen. "Oh sh-" There was a sudden tug on her legs, and she was back underwater, playfully thrashing, hoping to kick him away. He could open his eyes underwater, where she, with contacts, couldn't. He had complete control if they were underwater._

_ She found her footing again, and whipped her hair out of her face, seeing a grinning Chad a foot away from her. She laughed, "Jerk!" and splashed water his way, only to jump at him shortly after, wrapping her legs around him, forcing her hands down on top of his head, attempting to shove him underwater._

_ He just laughed. "You will never succeed at this no matter how many times you try." He grabbed her hands and laced their fingers, looking up at her._

_ For a moment she just gazed. This was actually the first time he had held her hand. She didn't know what to think. She knew she was glad it was too dark for him to see her blush. She knew she never appreciated the way moonlight looked until it gleamed off of Chad's wet skin and the water around him. Why hadn't they kissed yet? Was it about to happen? He couldn't reach her face, but she could initiate it. He could tell she was deliberating it. He also knew she never would._

_ She fell backwards, knowing it'd be the only way she could ever dunk him underwater, and she heard his gargled, muffled laugh as their tangled limbs separated and Jade swam away. Her back stayed to him as she came up for air, and she heard him approaching her._

_ He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back against his stomach, and planted a deep kiss to her cheek. She turned around in his arms and they were suddenly nose to nose. Her breath hitched in her throat and he lightly brushed his lips up and down hers._

_ "Are you kidding? GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE POOL." Strike of the greasy-haired manager._

She burst into tears. Thinking about one of the almost kisses only reminded her of the real one, and how he announced he was just leaving, and she just couldn't handle the feelings right now. She couldn't believe herself. She hadn't cried over Chad since a week before she met Kendall; she thought she had made progress. Obviously not. No, now she was pulled over on the side of the road, at midnight, practically drowning in her own tears.

But she always thought about what she and Chad could've had. Had _she_ tried to kiss _him,_ would things be different? She never tried. And every time he had, it was interrupted. Until that last one.

Just then her phone started ringing and she caught a glimpse of one of the pictures of her and Kendall from the Dallas fair. "Oh God, not _now._" She sobbed. She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself enough to answer it, even though she knew she shouldn't. _I'll just tell him I'll call him back later or something. So he doesn't think I'm ignoring him._ "H-hello?" _Great start, Jade._

"H- Jade? Jade is something wrong?" Kendall's voice seeped with worry, but instead of making her feel better like she hoped it would, it really only made her feel worse.

"Yeah, everything's great. Can um, c-can you call me back in ten minutes or something. Please." Her plead was a bit too desperate, and didn't come out how she planned.

"No. No, Jade, talk to me. What's going on?"

"It-it's not important, okay? Really, Kendall, please," she begged mid-sob. "Please just call me back in ten minutes and pretend this never happened."

When he spoke now, his voice was soft, soothing, instead of urgent. "You can talk to me about anything, Jade. I want you to know that."

She swallowed. "Thank you," she whispered.

"I'll call you back. Ten minutes. I promise." She could tell he meant it. And without responding, she hung up, let her forehead hit the steering wheel, and cried her eyes out.

* * *

><p>Kendall was pacing back and forth worriedly, nervously, anxiously. Why was Jade crying? Better yet, why was she thousands of miles away where he couldn't comfort her?<p>

"No." he told himself sternly, shaking his head. _Stop having thoughts like that. _"This isn't like you, Kendall-" He stopped pacing. "And now I'm talking to myself? What the hell." He threw his hands up in the air and continued pacing.

"Want to actually talk to someone, buddy?" Dustin asked curiously, like he was a bit scared for his friend. But Dustin knew anxiety was getting to the man.

Kendall turned to see him standing there in the doorway, leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed. "I uh, called Jade a couple of minutes ago."

Dustin raised an eyebrow. "So why are you pacing back and forth like a maniac?"

"She was crying."

"Uh-huh…" Dustin eyebrows furrowed. "Why?"

"I don't know. That's why I'm pacing."

"She didn't say what was wrong?"

Kendall shook his head. "She wouldn't tell me. She told me to call her back in ten minutes. It's only been..." He checked his phone. "Four so far." The blonde looked like he could cry from frustration. "Why am I acting like this Dustin?"

Dustin was actually rendered somewhat speechless. "I don't know, buddy. I don't know." He had to get Jade to California. And _soon._

* * *

><p>Jade cried for five straight minutes until she couldn't any longer, but still felt miserable. She fumbled with her phone, dialing Leslie's number. Her friend answered almost immediately. "Leslie, talk to me about anything to cheer me up. You literally have five minutes. Go." She let out a quiet, left over sob.<p>

Leslie started right away, no questions asked. "Kendall will be calling you soon! You'll get to talk to the man of your dreams for God-knows-how-long-"

Jade groaned. "That didn't work!"

"You already talked to Kendall?"

"He called right after I started crying. I told him to call me back in ten minutes. Which I now only have four to compose myself." Jade wiped her face.

"You answered the phone while you were crying?! Dear God, Jade, Kendall's probably freaking out right now!" Leslie sounded genuinely concerned for him.

But this did take her mind off things for a bit. "Why would he be freaking out?"

"Because he cares about you, duh. He's probably having a panic attack because of you!"

"Okay, you know, you're not really making me feel better, Leslie." Jade took a deep breath. No more tears were building in her eyes.

"Look, Jade. I may not have been around you two at the fair, but what I saw outside our hotel room door was enough to see how much he already cared about you." Leslie hesitated, wondering if this was helping. "I saw the way he hugged you, kissed your cheek, and God Jade, the way he _looked_ at you. It was like he wanted to get down on one knee and propose to you right there!"

"Stop it," Jade murmured bashfully. "That's not true."

"It so is! And… I've never seen _you_ look at_ anyone_ the way you looked at him." Jade didn't have anything to say to that. She knew what her friend was insinuating. She smiled, putting the car in drive and getting back on the road. "And Jade, my friend, that boy will be calling you in about two minutes, and y'all will probably talk all through the night."

"Thanks Leslie."

"That's what friends are for, right?!" Leslie laughed. "Now get home and talk the night away!" Jade laughed too and hung up her phone.

She was about two minutes from arriving at her apartment when Kendall called back. She laughed to herself, looking at the time. Ten minutes on the dot. She answered semi-cheerfully.

"Hey! Jade…" He sounded uncertain.

"Hi, Kendall. How are you?"

He didn't speak for a minute. She figured he was probably trying to analyze her voice and make sure she was okay. "I'm fine now. How are _you_?"

Jade sighed. "I'll tell you about it later, Kendall."

"Really?"

"Really. But right now, I- I just really want you to talk to me. Just… tell me about anything, I don't care. I just want to listen to you." That was much more forward than she was used to being, but for some reason she didn't seem to care. And neither did he.

For a moment, all she could hear was the springs of a mattress moving; he was getting on his bed. When he spoke, his voice was different. Content? _Happy?_

He proceeded to tell her about the last red carpet event he'd attended, and how he tripped and fell on his face, in front of everyone, then started doing push-ups to play it off. He told her he laughed it off for the moment, but was actually pretty embarrassed.

He was doing exactly what she wanted him to. All she had to do was laugh, and listen to the voice that made her heart melt. And he didn't push her to talk before she was ready. Chad was gone from her mind in less than fifteen minutes.

Two hours later they were in the middle of a conversation about Jade's hometown, when she stopped. "Are you tired, Kendall?"

He answered quickly. "Not at all."

She giggled. "Me neither, but I really need to shower. Can you give me like fifteen minutes?" she asked hopefully.

"Of course. And just fifteen minutes? Wow," he teased.

"You'll come to find I'm not like most girls, Mr. Schmidt."

He murmured something incoherently, and then just chuckled. She looked at her phone curiously, but decided not to push the subject.

"One more question," she said suddenly. "Do you have a Macbook?"

"Of course I do!" He scoffed like that was the dumbest question she could have ever asked him.

She just laughed. "Well while I'm in the shower, text me your iChat username. We can talk on there when I'm done."

"I'd like that," Kendall murmured.

"Don't fall asleep on me!" she exclaimed.

"I won't, I won't! Look, I'm getting up right now to go make a snack."

Sure enough, she could hear the bedsprings in the background. She smiled. "Good. I'll uh, see you in a bit."

"Mmhmm. Bye."

Jade threw her phone on the bed and ran to the bathroom to shower. She went through her normal shower routine as quickly as she could, making it out in less than ten minutes. She hurried into her room, slipping into some shorts, and her cousin's oversized 'Marines' sweatshirt, and then took a breather. She had three minutes to spare. She wandered into her kitchen to get a bottle of water, then grabbed her laptop out of the living room and brought it to her bed, settling comfortably on her side.

She pulled up iChat and grabbed her phone to retrieve Kendall's username, typing it in quickly, and hitting "Make Call." She suddenly realized she was about to see his face and had no time to prepare herself before he answered and was there, smiling at her. "Hi beautiful," he said brightly.

She shyly covered her face with her hand. "Don't do that," she mumbled, but she couldn't hide her smile.

He chuckled. "Do what?"

"Call me that."

"Beautiful? Why? I'm only speaking the truth." _Way to go Kendall. Not only am I going soft, my game sucks now too._

She just shook her head and dared to peek at him. He was grinning that beautiful grin from ear to ear. He was amused, but she could see he was being serious. She took a deep breath and propped herself up on her arm. "Hi," she murmured lazily.

"What's your sweatshirt say?" he asked, squinting, trying to read it.

"Marines. It's my cousin, John's."

"Tell me about him." Kendall settled into his bed more, lying on his side the same way Jade was.

"John? Hmm. Well, he's two years older than me, so he's 21." She paused. "Um, he's more like a big brother to me than a cousin. We're the only two grandkids in our family, and when my grandmother got sick a couple of years ago, we kinda came together to take care of her."

"But he's in the Marines?" She loved how genuinely interested Kendall seemed to be in her life.

She nodded. "He joined when our Meme got better." She frowned slightly. "It's what he's always wanted to do, and I'm so proud of him… I just wish he was here. He always helps me through my problems, and it's been really rough the past couple of months without him…"

"Jade..." Worry was etched in every feature of Kendall's face.

She shook her head. "Look, Kendall. The only reason I'm about to tell you what I'm about to tell you, is because I was stupid enough to answer the phone when I was crying earlier, and it's not going to be something that you care about, but-"

"If it's something that hurts you, Jade," Kendall started softly. "Then it's important, and I want to know about it." He didn't think more meangingful words had ever left his mouth. He had never felt so… _true _towards a girl. "I told you you could talk to me about anything, and I meant it."

She smiled gratefully at him, and collected her thoughts before she began her story about Chad, hating that this was one of the first major stories she was sharing with a potential crush, but it was unavoidable now. She started with the basics, like how she had never had a real boyfriend even though she was 19. Kendall seemed a bit surprised when she mentioned that, but she didn't dwell on it.

Jade explained the way Chad treated her, and how it was different than any other guy had ever treated her. She even told Kendall about how it always seemed like she had the perfect opportunities to kiss him, but never did, and when he tried to kiss her, they were always interrupted. And then she began about her last night with him, New Years Eve, and the actual kiss, followed by the news that literally ruined everything.

What surprised her more than actually telling Kendall all of that, was the fact that she made it through the whole thing without crying, when she had just bawled her eyes out about an _almost _kiss hours earlier. Though, having Kendall's face to look at helped her quite a bit. "I was on my way home from Leslie's tonight when I passed my parents' country club, and I saw the pool, and, and, I was just kind of dragged into a memory, because that just happens sometimes, and well, that's why I was crying when you called." Jade took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

She felt like Kendall was never going to say anything as he just sat there, the same focused face he'd kept throughout most of her story. Then he finally spoke. "Wow, I really wanna beat that guy's ass right now." But what he was thinking about more was that even though this dude had screwed with this amazing girl, he was still better than Kendall.

She sighed in relief, a laugh escaping her lips. "Kendall…"

He was staring hard at the screen. "I'm sorry."

Taken aback, Jade lifted her head a bit. "For what?!"

He shrugged. "I'm just sorry. Not all guys are like that, you know." A part of him hoped he was talking about himself. Maybe change could be good.

"I know." She smiled softly, earning a similar one from him in return.

Talking with one another was easy, and soon they found their eyelids growing heavy as the clock reached six o'clock in the morning. "You tired?" he mumbled.

She shook her head, eyes barely open. "Nope. You?"

"Uh-uh." He shook his head too.

And within minutes, they were both fast asleep.


	4. One Main Rule

**4 – One Main Rule **- _"How do you do it? Make me feel like I do?" – Incubus (Stellar)_

Kendall was sitting in the kitchen at the bar, snack and notebook at hand. There were crumpled and torn pieces of paper scattered along the countertop as he sighed, scratching out yet another line on the sheet in front of him. He heard footsteps approaching behind him. "Already workin'?" Dustin asked, peering over his friends shoulder.

Kendall nodded. "Yeah, it's just kind of rough. I can't get this verse right." He shrugged, stretching back and snagging a swig of water.

"We'll work on it in a bit." Dustin took a seat next to him. "So how late were you up last night?"

Kendall smiled sheepishly. "I really don't know. The last couple of hours are kinda hazy. I think the last time I checked the time it was five AM or something."

"Wow. Oh, hey! Did you ever find out what was wrong with her before?"

Kendall's shoulders slumped the tiniest bit. He nodded. "It's been bothering me ever since she told me…" Dustin remained silent, waiting for him to continue. Kendall sighed. "Well it was over a guy that screwed her over."

"Like, recently?" Dustin questioned.

"A few months ago." He paused. "I don't know. I've just kind of had an itch to fly to New York and beat the dude's ass, but… but then I think about how I've treated girls throughout my life…" Kendall looked down, feeling slightly awkward. "This dude treated Jade like a princess, and then got this insane offer for an internship in New York right? So he left. And I… I've hardly ever even had the urge to treat a girl with such decency. It's just one night and it's over…"

"Until now."

Kendall looked his best friend square in the eye. "Until now."

"So you know what you do?" Dustin questioned. "The asshole treated her like a princess, so you treat her like a _queen._" Dustin suddenly broke into fits of laughter. "I'm sorry, I just sounded ridiculous saying that." He continued laughing, while Kendall just watched him, cracking a smile and shaking his head, but more thinking about what he said. Finally, Dustin seemed to calm down. "Okay, okay. Guess what, bud?"

"What's that?" Kendall focused back on his notebook.

"I have this fourth ticket to see Incubus."

Kendall shook his head slightly, thinking they had already been through this conversation. "Right. I thought you were going to ask someone to go."

"I thought maybe you could ask someone instead!"

Kendall looked up, confused. "Who would I a- oh. But she's in Texas…"

"So fly her out here!" Dustin sighed. "Okay, look. I kinda already bought her a plane ticket." Kendall's eyes widened. "So ask her tonight, and mail it to her tomorrow! She can't refuse a free trip to California to see one of her favorite bands!"

Kendall panicked. "Y-you what? Bought her a plane tic-" He took a deep breath. "I can't just ask her to come to California! I- she- what if she has plans!?"

Dustin shrugged. "She'll cancel."

Kendall stared at his friend crazily. "How do you know that?!"

"I don't. But if she's as crazy about you as you are her, she'll come." He shrugged again. "And don't tell me you don't know how you feel about her, because if you didn't give any shits about her, you'd still be going out and scouting one night stands every night." Dustin's tone and face emanated his "matter of fact" attitude about the situation.

Kendall just sat there. After a moment, he looked at Dustin curiously. This is why Dustin was his best friend. "Thanks…" A smile slowly formed on his face.

Dustin smiled triumphantly. He didn't think it'd be that easy. "What are friends for, eh?" He slapped Kendall on the back. "Now I'll go get my guitar, and we can get to work!"

* * *

><p>When Kendall called Jade on iChat later that night, he cut right to the chase. "Listen… you're an Incubus fan, right?" he asked her as soon as they exchanged their hellos.<p>

"How do you know that?" She looked at him crazily.

"I, uh, well it… your ringtone was Incubus when that private number called you that night at the fair…"

She laughed, amazed, to herself. "You remember that?"

He looked at the screen, an intense expression that she couldn't really read on his face. "I remember everything about that night."

She just watched him for a moment. "Me too," she murmured. After another moment of silence, she snapped out of her trance. "But yes, I love Incubus, why?" she asked.

"They're playing in town next weekend, Dustin, Logan, and I are going, and you should come with us."

Jade couldn't help but think that if she had been sipping a drink, she would've spit it out. "Uh, you do realize I live in _Texas_, right, and can't just drop everything and go to California in like, ten days!"

He immediately mimicked her. "Uh, you do realize I'm awesome, right, and do you have plans next weekend?"

"Well, no, but-"

He smirked. "Then I'll see you then."

* * *

><p>"I wish you were going with me!" Jade frowned at her friend driving her to the airport.<p>

Leslie shrugged. "I'll be there next time. Just promise me you won't come back pregnant or something!"

"Leslie! It's not like that!" Jade blushed.

"Right, he doesn't care about you _at all_. He's just flying you out to California for the weekend, all expenses paid." Leslie rolled her eyes.

"You know, he is pretty famous, and has kind of a lot of money. He can fly friends halfway across the country to visit and go to a concert!" Jade paused. "And actually, Dustin is the one who bought the ticket, so ha!"

"Did you hear the words that just came out of your mouth or…" Leslie raised her eyebrows. "And yeah, because Kendall probably wasn't man enough to take initiative himself. Whatever. You just need to make sure you tell me _everything_ that happens between you two, okay? _Everything_."

"Nothing is going to happen, Leslie."

"Look Jade, I'm not saying y'all are gonna sex it up, or even kiss, but, God, I really just need to be there so I can analyze everything for you!" She frowned.

"I really wish you were coming." Jade frowned too. "Dustin said he could've gotten a fifth ticket!"

"Yes, but I have a job that will _not_ allow me to take off tomorrow unless I'd like to be fired, so…" Leslie shrugged. "I should really just quit."

Jade sighed. "The airport's up ahead."

But when Jade and Leslie entered the airport, Jade's flight to New York wasn't up on the board. Jade rushed over to a clerk's desk. "Excuse me, ma'am. What's going on with Flight 452 to Los Angeles?"

"It's delayed to later this evening. An unexpected patch of extremely severe weather formed around Arizona, and they don't want to risk flying through it. The flight takes off at 6PM now."

Jade groaned. "They can't just fly around it or something?" she asked desperately. The clerk raised her eyebrows. "Don't answer that. Thank you, ma'am."

She whipped out her phone and immediately dialed Kendall's number. "My flight got delayed!" she whined as soon as he answered.

"What? No!" He groaned. "When will you be here now?"

"About eight your time." She sighed. "This sucks."

She remained on the phone with him for a few more minutes before returning to Leslie. "I can't believe your flight got delayed that late!" she exclaimed. "Ya want me to stay with you?"

"Oh, Les, you don't have to. Really. It's not a short drive back home and-"

Leslie held her hand up. "I won't hear it! I'm staying. Now come on, let's roam around and see what we can find!"

As much fun as they managed to find in the gigantic airport, Jade thought six o'clock was never going to come. She found herself more and more desperate to be in Kendall's presence, and she knew she needed to nip that feeling in the butt _immediately_. But there was no stopping it. And she thought the anxiety was bad when she had Leslie around to distract her, but it was ten times worse when she was alone on the plane.

All Jade did was think back to conversations she'd had with Kendall over the past week, one from the night he invited her to California sticking out.

"_Kendall, do you know how many miles it takes to get from Texas to California?!"_

_He just laughed at her. "Miles don't mean anything, Jade."_

"_Uh, yes they do!" She saw him roll his eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me! It's just-"_

"_Will you stop freaking out, woman? The trip is set!" His tone then changed to one of smugness. "And there's nothing you can do about it." And there was the smirk she didn't know whether to hate or love._

"_Uh, I could just not get on the plane?"_

_He groaned, distressed by the idea. "Please don't do that."_

_Resigned, she sighed, knowing she would never pass up this opportunity to see him again anyways. "I wouldn't."_

_A small smile lit his face. "Seriously, miles… are just numbers. If miles really meant anything, we wouldn't be talking to one another right now like we are. We'd have to write letters and shit and wait days or weeks to read them."_

_Jade giggled, shaking her head. "Would you even put in the effort if it were like that?"_

_Kendall stared at the screen with one eyebrow cocked, his tone for his next word so certain. "Yes."_

She kept her phone off the whole trip to California, attempting to salvage what little battery she had left on it after being unexpectedly delayed for four hours, and then was so excited to see Kendall, she didn't bother to turn it back on when she stepped foot on steady ground again. She grabbed her bags and searched hastily for that blonde head of hair, and those sparkling green eyes…

A flood of disappointment washed over her when she saw Dustin, but no Kendall in sight. His apologetic smile proved he knew her feelings. "I think Kendall probably texted you twenty times explaining and apologizing, but you obviously had your phone off," Dustin shrugged. "Him, the guys, and the rest of the cast got unexpectedly called into the studio for something apparently _really_ important. They were supposed to have the whole night off, but…"

Jade smiled, trying not to be _too_ disappointed. "Well then I guess it's just me and you for now!"

Dustin laughed. "Yep. Wanna grab something to eat before we head to the house?"

Her stomach grumbled in approval. "Yes!"

Dustin did everything he could to make Jade feel at home while they waited for Kendall to get in from work. But it kept getting later, and later, and it was easy to see Jade was antsy. Dustin was running out of ideas. They'd picked up food, played video games, toured the huge house, and chatted for quite a while. It's not that he or she were bored with the other, but Dustin was tired, and Jade, well Jade just wanted to see Kendall.

By the time the clock struck eleven, Dustin yawned. "Sorry, I had an early morning!" he exclaimed.

"You can go to sleep if you want," Jade shrugged. "I'll be fine."

"You sure?" She nodded. "You want me to help you get settled in your room or anything?"

"No thanks." She smiled. "I'll just wait here."

In no time, Jade dozed off, clutching her phone close to her. And in seemingly no time again, she felt her arm gently being shaken. Her eyes lazily fluttered open, and suddenly her vision was clouded with green eyes. Tired green eyes. She flinched back and gasped, "Hi!"

Kendall showed her a half-smile and playfully tapped her nose with his index finger. "Hey there."

Jade sat up. "You look tired. Here, lie down or something."

He smiled gratefully, climbing on the couch and laying his head on her leg. He could barely keep his eyes open. "I'm so sorry I couldn't pick you up from the airport," he murmured, closing his eyes as Jade began gently running her fingers through his hair. She knew it soothed her when someone played with her hair, and she thought it might do the same for him.

"Don't worry about it, Kendall." She smiled down at him even though he couldn't see. "Dustin and I kept each other entertained. Besides, you're here now."

A lazy grin appeared on his face. "Good. And yeah, I am…"

His voice trailed off and she figured he was close to unconsciousness, so she remained silent. She sighed, continuing to comb her fingers through his hair. This wasn't exactly the kind of reunion she had in mind. _That's what I get for fantasizing about it too much._ She shook her head, and heard footsteps behind her.

"Hey, he made it!" Dustin whispered.

Jade nodded, looking back at him. "Yeah, he just got back."

Dustin's expression emoted sympathy. Could he read her mind or something? "Come on," he said. "Why don't you head off to bed. He's not waking up any time soon. Been a long day." Dustin rounded the couch and helped Jade up, who wouldn't go until she retrieved a blanket to cover the sleeping blonde.

When Jade awoke the next morning, she just sat there, soaking everything in. She observed the room she would be staying in for just one more night, which was fairly plain. She smiled slightly at the black Fender guitar hanging on the wall, the only thing that livened up the room.

Then she heard a knock at the door. Curiously, she got from under her covers and approached the door, only slightly feeling nervous about the fact she was in pajama shorts, a tank, and had messy hair. Opening the door revealed Kendall, who had obviously just woken up from the couch, with his hair all over the place and a tired, goofy grin plastered on his face. "Can I come in?" he asked.

She bit her lip, nodding, and as soon as she closed the door and turned towards him she was engulfed in his arms. "Hi," he murmured, tucking his face in her hair.

"Hi Kendall," she returned, rubbing his back, keeping his body attached to hers.

He only held her tighter. "I just really wanted to be able to do this when I saw you at the airport yesterday, and couldn't." He made that same mumble of contentment he had the first time they spoke on the phone, releasing her only to latch on to her arm and drag her towards the bed. He let go right before he plopped down sleepily, groaning, "It's so early!"

She froze for a split second. _What am I supposed to do? Join him?_ She tried not to look nervous as she rounded the bed and timidly took a seat. "Is it?"

"It's six in the morning."

"So _that's_ why I'm still tired," she laughed lightly, sneaking a glance at him.

"You know you don't have to be sh-…" he trailed off.

"What?" He just shook his head. He was going to say shy, but didn't want to offend her in some way. She sighed and laid down next to him, wrapping an arm around him in an attempt to hug him. "Thank you for doing this for me," she murmured, then lifted her head a bit to place a kiss to his cheek.

She moved to turn away and roll over, but he gently grabbed her arm and pulled her closer. "I think I'd sleep better with you right here."

Jade's breath caught in her throat and she did everything in her power to remain calm. She rested her head on his shoulder and shut her eyes, making a note to not get used to this, to not get too comfortable, because there was no way it could last.

Her hand was resting on his chest, and her mind drifted as she wondered if he would hold it, or if this would feel different if they were more than friends. She felt the steady rhythm of his breaths and looked up to find him already asleep. She planted another soft kiss to his cheek and sat up, gently taking his arm from around her back and placing it at his side. She sighed and rolled over, putting her back to him.

She woke up a bit later to find him still asleep, but closer to her, and decided to get up and take a shower before she lost her mind and ambushed him with affection. She lingered there, letting the warm water hit her back, soaking, thinking over her situation. She wanted so badly to just stop thinking about it, to just be spontaneous, and let things happen as they happen. But no. She had to overthink, overanalyze _everything_. And of course, there was no way Kendall was interested in her like that, he was just friendly. _Very_ friendly. And maybe she couldn't deny her feelings for him, but she could push them away.

She stayed in there for close to an hour, and she took longer than usual to dress herself and brush her hair. When she finally walked out and into the bedroom, she stopped short. Kendall flashed a bright smile her way. "Breakfast in bed?" he asked lightly, motioning to the plates of various breakfast foods spread out before him. She laughed uncertainly and walked towards the bed. "I don't know what you like, so I grabbed a bit of everything."

His smile was contagious as she took a seat across from him and grabbed a fork. "You made all this?" she asked, poking through a chunk of scrambled eggs.

He nodded, mouth full of bacon. "Dustin helped keep an eye on things, but it was mostly me."

"Do you cook often? This is incredible, by the way!"

"Why thank you." He beamed at her. "And yes, I do." He looked behind himself. "Damn it, I forgot to grab drinks!"

"Oh! I'll get them! What do you want?" Kendall raised his eyebrows, earning a grin from Jade. "Dustin gave me the grand tour last night."

"Well then, by all means!" He motioned for the door with a smirk. "I'll take good ol' OJ, pleeease."

She darted to the kitchen, going straight for the fridge and searching through her options. "Lemonade is the best with Kendall's eggs, as weird as that may sound." Jade jumped and looked to her side to see Dustin approaching.

"Thanks." She smiled, grabbing the jug of lemonade and then the orange juice.

She placed both on the counter and Dustin handed her two glasses. "So how's breakfast?" The smirk was evident in his voice.

"It's great." Jade felt her cheeks blush. "Y'all are great friends for all of this, you know."

Dustin chuckled, watching Jade closely. "He really cares about you, you know."

Jade almost dropped the jug of lemonade. She carefully set it down, screwing the lid on slowly, a thoughtful expression overtaking her face. After returning the lemonade to the refrigerator and grabbing their glasses, she simply said, "Like I said, he's a great friend," and trotted back to her room.

When they had devoured their breakfast and carried the dirty dishes back to the kitchen, Jade not failing to notice the very obvious look she was receiving from Dustin that seemed to say _Just because you walked out on that conversation, doesn't mean you can ignore it,_ they plopped back down side by side on Jade's bed. "I ate _way_ too much," she whined, rubbing her stomach. "But it was too good to stop."

Kendall chuckled, a smug smirk settling on his face. "Maybe I'll make breakfast for you again tomorrow."

She looked to the side at him, sharing a smile. "I think I'd like that."

After they dwelled in silence for a while, soaking in the reality of being back in each other's presence again, Kendall sat up. "You wanna help me run some lines for the show?"

Jade was slightly taken aback. "Uh, sure!"

He smiled and held up his index finger before he jumped up and ran to his room, returning several moments later with two copies of a script. "I made an extra copy." He beamed at her. "You can keep a secret, can't you?" He smirked, jokingly withholding her copy of the script.

"No, Kendall, I'm going to tell the whole world what the next episode of BTR is about with my super-famous-internet-status." She cocked an eyebrow sarcastically at him. His smirk only grew more pronounced and he placed the paper in her hand. "By the way," she said. "What made you so late last night?"

Kendall sighed. "We weren't supposed to work at all yesterday, then we all suddenly got called in to find out that production got postponed because the girl who was supposed to be joining the show, got into an intense accident, and can't anymore." He shook his head. "So I mean, I guess I don't _need_ to work on my lines, but I want to get familiar with them."

"That's horrible." Jade furrowed her eyebrows. "So y'all can't just find another girl or something?"

"I know it seems like it would be that easy, but it usually isn't." Kendall shrugged. "Anyways, so they needed everyone's help cancelling and rescheduling everything, while trying to call up agencies to look for interested actresses." He shook his head. "It was insane. But, I don't have to worry about it today. Today I am all yours!"

Jade grinned shyly. "Good." After a moment, she skimmed over the first couple of pages.

"You don't have to be familiar with it or anything," Kendall said, watching her closely. "You can just read the lines."

She simply glanced up at him with a small smile. "I don't like not putting any emotion or effort into reading a script. Just give me a sec."

Kendall was a bit taken aback. _She's dealt with scripts before? Theatre maybe?_

The whole time Jade helped Kendall run his lines, he paid more attention to her than the pages in front of him. He was curious. Intrigued. She got pretty into the parts she was reading. She definitely didn't half-ass it when it came to scripts.

Kendall got his biggest idea yet about thirty minutes into his running lines, and quickly suggested they take a break. "Hey!" he said. "Could I get Leslie's number? For Dustin. You know, I think they really clicked back in Texas."

"Uh, sure…" Jade grabbed her phone and retrieved the number.

"Thanks! I'll, uh, be right back!" Kendall rushed out, right past Dustin, into Dustin's room, and onto the balcony, closing himself out there. He dialed Leslie's number immediately. "Leslie!" he whispered.

"Uh… yeah. Who's this?"

"It's Kendall!"

"Wha-… Kendall why are you whispering?" Every way Kendall had approached this confused her.

"I don't want to be heard! But that's beside the point. Leslie, I need to ask you something!"

He heard Leslie gasp. "Are you gonna ask Jade out?! You have my permission, Kendall."

Kendall stopped short. "I-, uh… what…" He shook his head, shaking the thought. "No! How much theatre experience does Jade have?"

"Oh." She sounded disappointed. "Pretty much a whole life experience of it. Her parents made her participate in GCP starting when she was like, five or six. She was always the lead in elementary and middle school… high school too, except for one. But the only reason she wasn't the lead in that one was because she was co-casting director and knew how badly another girl wanted the role…" She took a quick breath. "Why did you need to know this?"

"That's perfect…" Kendall murmured. "And she's not in college, right?"

"Correct, but-"

"How would you feel about possibly moving to California, Leslie?"

"What the hell are you getting at Ken- oh. Oh! Oh my God! You're getting her a spot on y'alls show?!"

"I want to," Kendall breathed deeply, leaning against the rail of the balcony and looking out over the beautiful view of hills and trees. "We just lost a new girl, and Jade was helping me run lines and she just…"

"Got really into it and was perfect? Yeah, I've always told her she should go to college for theatre or move to LA and try and get a start that way. She's really stubborn though."

Kendall smirked. "I'll fix that real quick." He heard Leslie mumble something along the lines of _I'm sure you will_ but ignored it. "Well I've got another call to make and Jade's probably already suspicious of what I'm doing, so thanks Leslie! Talk to ya later."

"Hey! Take care of her, Kendall."

Kendall smiled. "I plan to."

* * *

><p>"Kendall, I do <em>not<em> know about this, I-"

"Sshhh." Kendall put an index finger to Jade's lips, shutting her up real quick.

She drew in an unsteady breath, not breaking her hold on his eyes and grabbing his hand to hold it away from her mouth. "Kendall I came here to go to a _concert_ and see_ you_. I am _not_ prepared to audition for a TV show! And shouldn't I need an agent or something?" she whispered.

He shook his head with a small smile, trying not to glance down at her lips. They were standing closely, in a small hallway of the TV studio, and right on the other side of the door they were standing next to was the producers and directors of Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan's TV show, waiting for Jade. "These are special circumstances," he whispered, gripping her hand that she still had a hold of. "If they like you, they'll find you one." _This is where I would kiss her if we were together._ He blinked a few times. Did he really just think that?

"Kendall…" Jade looked away. She was shivering the slightest bit. Nerves were getting to her.

"Hey…" Kendall pulled her into a tight hug. "You have no reason to be nervous, okay? They're all great, easy-going guys. Just… you just have to get through the interview part, and reading a few lines first. Then they'll call James and me in to run through lines with you, so you won't be alone then."

She nodded against his shoulder. "This is so freaking sudden," she murmured.

Kendall chuckled. "It's always sudden." He gave her one last squeeze and pulled away to look at her. "Now go in there, and show them how it's done."

As soon as Jade closed the door behind her, Kendall began pacing. He needed to figure out exactly how he felt about Jade and what he was going to do about it. He liked her. That was the obvious part. But why didn't he want to just take her to the nearest closet and have his way with her? She was so innocent, for one. She'd never even had a real boyfriend. But how had he managed not to try and at least _kiss_ her yet? The more time he spent with her, the more the desire to attach his lips to hers grew. He'd found himself staring at her mouth as she spoke to him much more than necessary today. Her mouth, jaw, ears, neck…

He shook his head. Okay, so maybe he was ready to take her to the nearest closet, but something was holding him back. He couldn't describe the unfamiliar feeling puttering in the depths of his stomach. At least he pretended he couldn't. Because the feeling was, in fact, the same feeling he'd get about to go out on stage and perform for thousands of fans, or the same feeling he had when answering his agent's phone call about whether or not he got the role on Big Time Rush. Those feelings, times one hundred.

He wanted to hold her hand. He liked the way holding her hand at the fair had felt, but he didn't plan on doing it again so soon, because the more he'd thought about it later, he knew he'd crossed a line. Sure, she hadn't objected, but he still shouldn't have crossed that line with someone like Jade. Someone so sweet and fragile, and who cared about everyone around her. She had talked to Kendall as a friend from the beginning, not someone famous. More than half the girls he'd slept with in his life only wanted him because he was on a TV show. The rest were too dumb or drunk to care.

Kendall sighed. _What a fucked up life._ But it was just how he was. He had never been one to dream about and search for love. He saw the people around him, his friends, his parents, and how undeniably happy they were that they had a partner in life, but he had never desired that. He had always been perfectly fine with little hook-ups here and there, forgetting the girl within minutes if he didn't keep one around for a few days. But Jade. Once he simply laid eyes on Jade, he couldn't stop thinking about her.

He sat on a nearby chair, exasperated, running his fingers through his hair and rubbing the back of his neck. What was he supposed to do? Act on it? He wasn't even sure Jade felt this way about him. After all, he _had_ been awake still when she rolled away from him earlier that morning. Normally that would never stop him, but he couldn't think enough how this was different. And if she didn't have those feelings, he'd screw up their friendship they'd developed, and he _needed_ Jade in his life. For some reason she seemed to keep him _sane_.

"Stressed, buddy?" James cheerfully took a seat next to him.

"That's the understatement of the day," Kendall mumbled, not looking up.

"Not because of Jade's audition, huh?"

Kendall shook his head, taking a deep breath and looking at his bandmate. "No, just because of Jade."

James clapped a hand against his friends back. "What's holding you back?"

"I don't know," Kendall groaned. "I don't know what's wrong with me!" He dropped his head back down into his hands.

"Nothing's wrong with you but you have to rem-"

"James, Kendall, come on in." James turned to see their director's head poked out the doorway. He seemed pleased enough.

As soon as he had retreated back into the room, James leaned over to whisper to Kendall. "Stop looking so stressed out. They can't know you and Jade have a thing, remember?"

Kendall looked up quickly. "We don't have a- oh _shit_." He shook his head. "I can't believe I didn't think about that. But I mean, no one's ever tested that fucking rule before, how do we know they're serious about it?" The look on James' face wasn't encouraging. Kendall sighed. "Let's go help Jade through the rest of this."

Kendall gave Jade hidden, encouraging thumbs up as he and James waltzed in, picking up a script and diving right into page three, beginning with James, "Well hello there, new girl!" He snaked an arm smoothly across Jade's shoulders. "I'm James, the most amazing guy you will _ever meet_-"

"Dude! Give the girl some space!" Kendall yanked James away from her. "I'm sorry about him." He shook his head.

Jade giggled. "It's cool. Is he always like that?" Jade refused to look Kendall directly in the eye. She knew if she did it would screw her up, and she had really been nailing this character.

Kendall nodded exasperatedly. "_Always_. Anywho! I didn't catch your name!"

Jade took a small step towards him. "Kellyn. And you're…"

"Kendall. Kendall Knight." He held out a hand for her to shake and she complied. "It's very nice to meet you, Kellyn." He held onto her hand so he could draw it up to his lips and plant a kiss to her knuckles.

She smiled as flirtatiously as she could muster, which she had to admit, was _not_ hard around Kendall, and the directors had them jump into the next scene before James' character came back in to play.

They ran through several scenes, which Jade didn't know whether to take as good or bad. It could go either way, she supposed. And eventually, the men directing dismissed Kendall and James and Jade's nerves came crashing back as she had to face the producers alone again.

She stood there nervously as the men either talked amongst themselves, or stared at her. She twisted her foot on the floor awkwardly, causing one of the men, the creator of the show, to chuckle. "You're definitely a lot more confident with the guys around. I saw all of your nerves disappear when they walked in, and reappear when they left." Jade giggled uneasily. "Which is _not_ a bad thing, by the way," he continued. "Especially since, as long as you agree, you'll be working with them on the show."

Jade couldn't help it, her jaw literally dropped. "You want to offer me the part?!" she questioned once she was able to move again.

He laughed again. "Definitely. You've got some raw talent, girl. We'd love to have you on our show." He paused. "But I want you to think hard about this, okay?" Jade nodded. "I want you to take tonight to really think about it. It's gonna be a _lot_ of changes, and fast changes too. Production starts in two weeks. Your living arrangements will be taken care of, and we'll pay to move your stuff out here and for airfare and all that, but it's got to be _quick_, Jade."

She nodded. "I understand, sir."

"Good. Like I said, take tonight to think about it, and contact me in the morning and let me know your decision. After that, I'll go over some rules and regulations with you, and then give you a little more time to make a final decision."

Jade smiled, trying to contain her excitement. "I will. Thank you _so_ much! I seriously don't know how I could ever thank you!"

"Oh, I'll be thanking you, sweetie, if you sign on with us." He chuckled, and Jade was dismissed.

Jade quickly and quietly closed the door behind her and immediately jumped into Kendall's excited embrace. "You were _so_ amazing in there, babe," he murmured into her ear, squeezing her torso to his, holding her off the ground. "They _loved_ you."

She was too jittery to even falter under his pet name. "I just can't believe they actually offered me the part. Like, I have to be dreaming right now, right?"

Kendall took her face between his hands, shaking his head at her with a grin spread across his face. "You're not dreaming! I might be… but you're not."

James cleared his throat to the side of them, walking over, and Kendall immediately let go of her face. Jade only faltered for a second, almost hurt, before her stomach grumbled. "What's for lunch?" She cheerfully hooked her arms through James' and Kendall's and dragged them towards the exit. They just laughed and followed along, but there was an uneasy feeling in Jade's stomach.

The guys were keeping something from her.

* * *

><p>"Yo yo, let's go!" Logan busted through Kendall and Dustin's front door, receiving no response. He rolled his eyes, trotting into the kitchen and laying his eyes on Jade, her back to him. He nodded in approval, taking in her tight black shorts, tan skin, and white tank that showed off most of her back with intentional rips all down the middle. "Well look at you!" he exclaimed, making her jump in surprise.<p>

"Hey Logan!" She smiled, walking over to give him a hug.

"Hey pretty lady, how you been?" He pushed her back and observed her face.

"Um, busy?" They laughed. "A lot busier than I expected to be?"

"I bet! You're taking that offer, right? It'd be fuckin' awesome if you were on the show."

"I want to, I really want to… there's just some things I have to work out at home still, ya know?"

"Duh. I made the same transition, girl." Logan winked. "By the way, has Kendall seen you since you've been in this hot lil' outfit of yours?"

"Uh, no… we went swimming and I laid out for a bit, then we came in and took showers and such. I just came downstairs…" She stared at Logan uncertainly.

He laughed to himself. "Oh I have _got_ to be here when he fuckin' walks in. Please, Jade, just put your back to that doorway or something, please!"

"…..why?" Jade reluctantly walked back over to the bar counter and stood like Logan directed.

He took a seat across from her, still chuckling to himself. "Because he is gonna flip_ shit_ when he sees you, hot stuff."

Heat rushed to Jade's cheeks. "Whatever," she mumbled, shaking her head and awkwardly picking her phone up to make a call to Leslie.

"Jade!" She answered. "Why are you _just now_ calling me?! Did you go see the producer guys? Did you get the part?! I've been waiting for you to call me all day! You've obviously had plenty of time—I saw y'alls pictures by the pool on Twitter! I mean, really-"

"Leslie!" Jade yelled, looking crazily at Logan who had heard every word of Leslie's rant. "First of all, you _knew_ about the audition?"

"Duh. Kendall called me this morning asking about your theatre experience!" Leslie exclaimed. "But that's beside the point! How did it go!?"

"They offered me the part!" Jade grinned. "I have to give my decision by tomorrow—if I say yes, which I plan to, I have like, a week or so to get to Texas and back! But… I want you to come out here too…"

"Well good news, best friend! Literally an hour before Kendall called me, I quit my job. And guess what?"

"Are you serious?! And what?!"

"My last final is Monday."

"Leslie, you can come with me!" Suddenly Logan spazzed, beginning with a snicker, then he slammed his head down on his arm on the counter, laughing uncontrollably. Jade froze. "Oh my God, Logan, shut _up_." Her face reddened again and she covered her eyes, embarrassed, with her free hand. She was suddenly feeling very self-conscious.

"What's going on Jade…" Leslie questioned.

Jade had the urge to reach across and punch Logan, but she refrained, still stiff with self-consciousness. She didn't respond to Leslie, but instead, spun around to see Kendall standing in the doorway, scrutinizing every inch of her. Jade's breath caught in her throat; she didn't know how she felt being looked at like that. "Um, hey…! You, uh, ready to go, Kendall?"

His gaze snapped back to her eyes and he seemed less tense, more himself. "Yep! It's pretty-boy Dustin we've got to wait on now." He smirked, that lustful look still lingering in his gaze.

Jade realized she was still on the phone. "Oh, hey Les, uh, give me a sec." She glared angrily at Logan and stalked out of the house and onto the front porch. Once there, she let out a breath of relief. "Damn Logan."

Leslie was laughing. "What the hell just happened?"

"Well I'm wearing the outfit you said I should wear for the concert and-"

Her friend's laugh only escalated. "Ah, say no more my friend. I understand everything now."

"What is the big freaking deal?!" Jade plopped down in a chair, pouting.

"The _big freaking deal_ is that you look hot for Kendall, and he's not going to be able to keep his hands off of you!"

"Leslie!"

"Don't Leslie me! Even if it's seemingly friendly gestures, Jade, that man will be all over you. I picked out that little ensemble for a reason, woman!"

Jade sighed. "I still don't understand the big deal. It's _me_ we're talking about. I'm no supermodel, Hollywood-looking girl… there's too much competition for a guy's attention here."

"Jade, just shut up, go to the concert, and let things unfold." And with a sigh, Leslie hung up on her friend.

* * *

><p>"You know, I really didn't picture you as an Incubus fan, Jade." Logan looked into his rearview mirror to see Jade in the back seat with Kendall as he spoke.<p>

"And why is that?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I see you listening to…"

"If you say country music I will punch you in the face first chance I get!" Kendall and Dustin snickered.

"Hey! Why so fuckin' violent!" Logan looked back defensively.

Jade laughed. "Logan, you are the _last_ person I'd expect to stereotype me around here. Do _you_ listen to country music?"

"Well, no but-"

"Then your argument is invalid." She looked over with a smirk and winked at Kendall, who bit his lip in return. She tried to control her breathing. Without taking her eyes off of him, she asked, "So how much longer till we're at the venue?" But her question was directed at the front of the car. She was being smoldered by her favorite green eyes.

"We're… here!" Dustin exclaimed.

"Already?" Jade snapped her gaze away from Kendall's to observe the gigantic venue ahead. "Wow look at that line…"

Logan parked down the street from the venue; they only had to walk a short distance to get there. "Hey Jade, I think you're the first person I've ever known to shut Logan up. We should keep you around," Dustin commented with a smirk.

"She didn't shut me up, okay?!" Logan lightly shoved Dustin aside and glared at Jade.

"Don't look at me like that! I'm not the one who forgot I was from Texas!" Jade laughed. They were approaching the venue, and Jade realized the guys were turning, instead of heading straight for the line. "Guys, the line's this… way…" She stopped. Kendall smiled, shaking his head at her and grabbing ahold of her hand to pull her down a creepy-looking alley. "Kendall…" she started uneasily.

He squeezed her hand and offered her a light chuckle. "We're going in through a different entrance. A special entrance, if you will."

When Jade breathed a sigh of relief is when she realized Kendall was holding her hand. She had been waiting to see if he would do it again ever since she arrived in California, but she wanted it to be like it was at the fair; fingers tangled, bringing them closer…

But she became under the impression that he didn't want to entwine their fingers like before; his grip on her hand was fairly tight. After all, he had only grabbed it to begin with to show her the right direction. _What if he's only still holding on to it because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings?_

Something the guys had failed to mention to Jade about the Incubus show, was that their tickets weren't exactly tickets, per say. They were actually backstage and side stage passes. They weren't in the pit. They were watching Incubus play from the side of the stage. Jade was _amazed_. Turned out Dustin had a friend that had a pretty high position of staff for this venue, and scored them the passes. They had arrived early, and actually met Brandon Boyd and Chris Kilmore and hung out for a while, which warmed Jade for Kendall's sake. She could see how excited he was, even if the others couldn't. The gleam in his eyes was equivalent to the one she'd surely kept when seeing the guys for the first time. She found herself watching him and his reactions more than she paid attention to the men of Incubus, and he looked like the happiest man in the world every time his eyes met hers.

When it was time for the band to perform, Jade, Kendall, Dustin, and Logan took their places on sidestage, all jittery with excitement. This was a completely new experience for Jade, and she couldn't believe she was sharing it with three guys she thought she'd never even meet, let alone become friends with.

Jade was lost in a sea of contentment, rocking back and forth to Stellar, when she felt arms snake around her waist from behind. Her eyes slid closed and she took his hands in hers, holding them against her stomach, as she soaked in her surroundings. She didn't have to look to know who her holder was. Kendall rested his chin on her shoulder, and she could feel his breath on her ear and realized he was singing. _Is he singing to me?_ She inhaled deeply, releasing it with a sigh. _I'm never going to be able to push these feelings away, am I?_

Kendall spent the night with Jade when they got back to the house. They fell asleep in the backyard under the stars, and later he carried her inside to her room, where she awoke and wanted him to stay so they could talk more. He knew what her decision about the show was going to be when she called the producers in the morning. And he just really wished he could find a way to talk her out of it.

* * *

><p>"Miss Jade Thomas! How nice to hear from you!" Jade was looking at the director of the show through her webcam and computer screen. She planned on a simple phone call, but she was forced to feel nervous at having to technically be in the producers' presence again. "So let's get right down to business. Did you make your decision?"<p>

"I did, sir, and… I'd be _honored_ to be a part of your show!"

"I am so glad to hear that, I really am," the director beamed at her. "So then you have _lots_ to do as long as your final decision remains the same. We'll set you up with Kendall's agent, who will help you look over the contract before you sign among other things, we'll look to get you an apartment reserved over where a few of our other stars stay, we'll set up flights, which by the way, you'll probably miss yours back to Texas today." Jade could only nod as the man continued. "You'll have a week to two weeks to get there and back and get settled before production begins. And Jade?

"We really only have one main rule on set that Corporate is very serious about." Jade nodded, waiting for him to continue. "When you are in a TV show environment, you want things to run smoothly, always, right? Well we like to keep the set drama free. Everyone gets along and we want to keep it that way. So our main rule is that there is no dating on set."

Jade froze, using every ounce of will to keep her composure. "Oh?"

"Let me rephrase that," he said. "You're welcome to date anyone you want, as long as they don't work on our set."

"So you're saying…" Jade couldn't believe it.

"Co-stars on the set of Big Time Rush are not allowed to date."


	5. End Pending

**5 – End Pending **- _"Uncertainty is killing me, and I'm certainly not asleep. Maybe I've gone far too deep, maybe I'm just far too weak." – The Fray (Uncertainty)_

"Jade, Jade, calm down. Where are you right now?" Leslie's voice rang through Jade's phone.

Jade was shaking and she was forcing herself _not_ to cry. She couldn't let herself cry over something like this. "I-I went into a random bedroom, and I-I'm out on the balcony of th-this room."

"Not one of the guys' right?"

"No it's a guest bedroom." Jade shook her head, sitting on the floor of the balcony before she fell, and leaned her head against the railing. "It's not going to work out Leslie. It's not like I thought he had feelings for me, but- but we're… close… and now there's just no chance, at all."

"Wait," Leslie said. "First of all, now you're admitting you have feelings for him? Second, he does feel the same way, trust me, I know. And lastly… what the hell are you talking about?"

"The show, Leslie. I agreed to be on the freaking show."

"Since when is that a bad thing? You'll get to be around Kendall 24/7…"

Jade laughed humorlessly. "Not the way I'd like to be."

"Jade." Leslie was obviously annoyed.

Jade sighed, leaning forward to rest her forehead on her knees. _Deep breaths. No crying. _"The number one rule on the set of BTR is that co-stars are not allowed to date," she finally said.

The silence dredged on before Leslie frantically said, "No, no…! That doesn't make s- Maybe Kendall forgot about that rule! Maybe he just wanted to keep you around so much that the show seemed like the best option…?"

"_You_ don't even sound sure about that one." Jade squeezed her eyes shut. _I will not cry. I will not cry._

* * *

><p>"Kendall really screwed this one up," James commented as he and Dustin sat in the kitchen, unsure of what to do. They knew Jade had found out about the set rule. Why else would she go up to a random room in the house alone?<p>

Dustin sighed. "They could still get together. They're _actors_ for crying out loud. They can't just keep it a secret on set or something?"

James shook his head. "They wouldn't have any kind of life outside this house or her apartment. Not with paparazzi around."

"Do they really follow y'all around that much yet? And besides, what even happens if they catch co-stars _dating_?"

"No one knows." James shrugged. "Kendall thinks he can test it, since no one ever has… but we've barely even started our careers. What if they terminated him or something?"

"They wouldn't take it that far?" Dustin didn't believe it was really that serious.

"They're _ridiculous_ about keeping the peace on set."

"But to fire him? For being with Jade?" Dustin shook his head, and after a moment sat back in his chair, pondering. "Hey James?"

"What?"

"We talk about Kendall's personal life a lot… trying to figure things out and all that…"

"And your point, D-Belt?"

Dustin nodded, laughing slightly as he asked, "Why are we the girls in this friendship?"

* * *

><p>James and Kendall escorted Jade to Paramount to meet the producers and Kendall's agent. It was going to be a day filled with paperwork.<p>

Jade kept silent for a majority of the ride, so for about thirty minutes, just staring out of the passenger's seat window, watching the sights flash by. She wanted to decline the offer. She wanted to more than anything if it meant being with Kendall. But that was just the thing. What if her feelings for Kendall weren't 100% real, and what if Kendall didn't feel the same way? She'd never forgive herself if that was the case. But she wanted to decline the offer, not even strictly because of her situation with Kendall, no, she wasn't too fond of the idea that in some small way, they were trying to control who people could be with, or in this case, couldn't be with.

She thought about Carlos of all people. Tiny, adorably sweet Carlos, whom she hadn't even gotten to see since she'd arrived in California. What if the love of his life was an actress on the show? He just couldn't be with her? At least not until production was no more. But who knew how long the show would run? Three seasons? Seven?

"Aren't you excited, Jade?"

She felt Kendall's long, slender hand on her knee. She looked at him and forced a smile. "Of course! Of course I am." She awkwardly patted his hand and went on staring straight ahead instead of to her side when he entwined his fingers with hers and squeezed them.

"Me too." He didn't sound excited.

Conversation was scarce after that, and Jade didn't participate in it. She had too many thoughts zooming around in her mind.

Upon arriving at the studios, James pulled Jade back by her arm. "Hey Kendall, why don't you go ahead and meet with everyone inside? I want to talk to Jade real quick." Kendall nodded sadly and walked forward, leaving them alone. "Jade." James walked around her to see her face.

She didn't respond. She couldn't. At this point it was taking everything she had to not cry.

He firmly placed his hands on her shoulders. "Jade, you can still back out of this. You don't have an agent, you haven't signed anything. You are not tied down in any way yet." She shook her head, pressing her fingers to her lips as if that would hold her sobs in. James' eyes widened and he quickly pulled her into a bear hug. "Jade," he whispered.

She took that as a signal that she was allowed to cry her eyes out, and that she did. Jade buried her face in the crook of his neck and let it all out; all the tears she had been holding in for hours. "I just don't understand," she sobbed. "I should be s-so happy! It's a o-once in a lifetime opportunity…"

"But you're not."

"I mean, I am but- but… I just wish I would've known before-…" She shook her head. Did she really want to admit her feelings for Kendall to one of his best friends?

"The rule, I know. Someone should've told you about it before… but, Jade, you wanna know how I see it?" She nodded slightly, and he pushed her back a bit so she could see his face. He brushed his fingers across her cheeks to wipe away the tears and continued, "You can accept this role, and then you'll live here Jade. Though you may not be _allowed_ to be with Kendall the way you want, you'll be here, and you'll be around him more than you would if you declined the deal. If you turn this down and go back to Texas, what are you going to do? Visit him every couple of months?" Jade frowned. "I don't know how _you_ were the month you and Kendall didn't talk, but I watched _Kendall_ go through that.

"I can't explain what you two have, at all. To be honest, it doesn't make sense to me how connected you two are, but I guess it happens and that's life or some shit like that. But if it were me in your situation, I would take the role, because from what I've heard, and what I saw yesterday, you really would be amazing on the show, and you'd be doing something you love. Everything else will work out how it's supposed to." He softened. "But if you don't _want_ this role, if you're only taking it to be around Kendall, don't put yourself through that, okay?"

Jade took a deep breath before she responded, blinking away stray tears, then nodded. "Okay."

"Will you promise me, Jade? Promise me that if you take the role it's because you really want it."

She nodded again. "I promise." She quickly wrapped her arms around him again in a grateful hug. "Thank you, James," she murmured.

He hugged her back, surprised. "Anytime." He sighed. "Seriously, if you need someone to talk to that's not Kendall, call me up. If I hadn't stopped you to talk you would've ended up crying in there. I'll give you my number later, okay?" He flashed a smile at her when she pulled away and nodded. "Now let's get you fixed back up. Is your makeup in the car? Trust me, Kendall will notice if you go in there not looking like you did when he left you."

"It's right here, James," Jade smiled lightly, pulling her sling purse around her body.

"Right. Well good, because Kendall took the keys." He chuckled and took his phone out and pulled up the camera app to hold it up so she could see herself. "Oh, and Jade?" She just looked at him. "Kendall didn't set you up with the show on purpose. He forgot about the rule before."

Jade wasn't certain how to respond, leaving her response to a stiff nod and awkward smile.

Once they headed in, Jade knew she was going to have to put on a strong face. Though she had to admit James had helped a lot, and that had been really unexpected. He was right though, if he hadn't held her back, she would've burst into tears the first time she had to open her mouth, and not only would the crew have thought she was crazy, _Kendall_ would've witnessed it. She just really hoped James wouldn't say anything to him about her mini-breakdown.

Greetings and introductions were made, and they had Jade sit between Kendall and his agent, Kayla Lee, at a long, cliché, business-like table. As everyone was settling around them, Kendall scooted his chair close to Jade's and gave her an encouraging grin with squinty eyes that told her he was in a better mood than he had been in the car. She smiled back, already feeling better from that small action of his, and he looked pleased. But then she saw him reach for her hand under the table, but retract it quickly, catching himself, and they both faltered a bit, looking in different directions and trying to regain composure.

But they dived into business right after that, so there wasn't much time to dwell on it, as they talked Jade through the deal, the contracts, and all arrangements that would be made for the next few weeks if her decision was still the same. Once she got back to California, there were going to be a few pre-production days, then there would be very late nights the first week since the producers wanted to shoot two, if not three, episodes back to back. They had also done some slight re-writes with the script, and wanted to get those out as soon as they could so everyone could get familiar with them. But they had already done a table read for the first two episodes, so Jade wouldn't get to sit in on that. She felt like the mass of people in there were going to talk for hours, but they finally came to a halt to ask her final decision as to her position on the show.

She took the role.

When all was said and done, and it was decided Jade would be staying for one more night, Kendall and James showed her around Paramount, and after they got ahold of the new scripts, left to pick up Logan and Dustin from Logan's house, and the four gave Jade a grand tour of Hollywood, chatting, mostly, cheerfully and taking her to their favorite spots, including some of the recording studios they had used in the past.

The trip lasted hours, giving Jade a good chance to really get to know the guys, and vice versa. For instance, Logan liked rap and R&B music more than any other kind, Kendall was really big on organic food along with his family and was actually much more of an outdoorsy person than she thought, Dustin was obsessed with all things country, and though she didn't seem to learn much about James, she had really found a friend in him. When no one else was paying attention, he'd check on her, making sure she was still okay after earlier. If conversation seemed to become uncomfortable for Jade, he'd veer everyone off topic as soon as he could. But something else Jade noticed wasn't quite as heartwarming as her newfound friendship with James.

Kendall had barely touched her since they left Paramount. He was such a touchy-feely person all around, otherwise she wouldn't worry on it, but he hadn't laid a finger on her in any way.

No, she'd feel a firm hand rest on her shoulder, and hope it was Kendall, but it was James. A playful, friendly hug, but it was Logan. A good-hearted pat on the back; that was Dustin.

In fact, he hardly even spoke directly to her. She didn't really notice or dwell on it for a majority of the trip, more overwhelmed by the sights she was taking in than anything, but once they made it back to the house late that night and were sharing each other's loud, hearty company over dinner, it was almost all she could think about.

And then at 10:30, when the night didn't seem to be anywhere near over for everyone else, Kendall dismissed himself from the group to go to bed. Silence fell over Jade, which didn't go unnoticed by the three remaining guys sitting around her. And it was just another thirty minutes or so before Jade found herself yawning and excusing herself from her friends, heading in the direction of her room. But that's not where she was going.

Jade lightly knocked on Kendall's bedroom door. No response. She sighed, pushing open the door just enough to peek in and see him lying on his back on his bed, hands clasped behind his head, still fully clothed, staring at the ceiling. She stepped inside, closing his door behind her. She refused to let him shut her out for whatever reason. Not now.

And then slight amusement played across her face as she took in her surroundings. She hadn't seen his room until now. It was a bit messy, which was to be expected of Kendall, but it wasn't horrible; just a few articles of clothing scattered here and there, along with crumpled up papers and notebooks. And he had a _lot_ of pictures, and it seemed there were more of his family than anyone else. That was one thing that was so attractive to Jade; how much he cared for his parents and brothers. His love for them shined over everything else in his life.

Taking a quick glance at Kendall, she saw him watching her closely, intensely. She continued around his room, stopping at his desk where he obviously worked on his music, based on the notebook paper and score sheets. But what stopped her was the stuffed animal white tiger perched atop the base of his table lamp. She released a small laugh, running her hand across its soft fur, thinking back to the night of the fair. It seemed so long ago compared to where she was now.

But then she turned away from the desk and towards the bed, meeting Kendall's intense, green-eyed gaze, and every ounce of anxiety melted away from her. Before she was able to change her mind, she climbed onto his bed, lying down on her side and scooting as close to him as she possibly could, waiting for a response, or _hoping_ for one.

Kendall turned his head to look at her, their faces mere inches apart, and Jade bit her lip uncertainly. The ghost of a grin settled on Kendall's face, and he released his hands from the back of his head, opening his arms to her. She wanted him to say something, anything, but maybe it was better they didn't talk about whatever it was they needed to talk about. And she wasn't going to push him into talking if he didn't want to. As long as he accepted her into his arms, well, she could live with that.

He was too deep in thought, anyways. Jade felt like an eternity had passed, and the only indication that he was even still awake was his movement every now and then. He'd readjust himself or Jade, almost like he was scared she was going to run away or something, until he finally settled on a position that Jade was too fond of. It was simple, but it soothed her. He kept a secure arm wrapped around her back, holding her close, while his free hand rubbed her arm resting across his stomach, stroking up and down the whole length of her forearm, every now and then drifting up to her upper arm and shoulder, ghosting across her skin, giving her chills.

Kendall just didn't know what to do anymore. He liked Jade a little _too_ much, and now he was just supposed to sit around and _not_ act on it? That wasn't his style. Then again, not one part of this situation was really his style. He was _fairly_ sure Jade felt the same way about him, but how could he be _positive_? He had never cared enough to try and read a girl's feelings; he had never cared about another girl period as much as he already cared about Jade.

And admitting that to himself took a lot, which was partly why he was in such a catatonic state. The reality of Jade signing with his agent, and not being able to do something as simple as hold her hand because of it made him squirm. It wasn't fair.

He heard Jade mumble something, and averted his attention to her. "What?" he asked softly, his lips moving against her hair.

"Kendall…" She sounded distressed.

"Stop worrying. I'm fine," Kendall murmured. "Just… don't leave me tonight, okay?" He tightened his hold on her slightly after she nodded against his chest.

He needed her close; she was keeping him together.

* * *

><p>"So basically, almost every single thing that happened between you and Kendall, or even the others, pointed to him having <em>major<em> feelings for you!" Leslie exclaimed. "How are you still denying this, Jade?!"

Jade was back in Texas, in her apartment, already unfolding boxes to begin packing. She would be released from her lease contract the next day, and Leslie hers as well, and they would both be living with their parents for the remainder of the week, only after the four absolutely insisted, of course.

Jade didn't respond for a while, trying to find the right words to explain her thoughts. Tossing the box in her hands aside, she plopped down on her couch with a sigh. "I don't know what to think," she said. "When it's just me and him, like for breakfast the other morning, at the pool, under the stars, in his room… when it's just us I feel so sure."

"Sure about what?"

"That's what I don't know. It's like any stress or anxiety disappears, and there's just this feeling of… certainty left." She laughed one simple _ha_ and continued, shaking her head. "Listen to me. I didn't even talk about Chad like this."

Leslie froze, waiting for some kind of self-reaction from Jade to saying Chad's name. There wasn't one. She cocked her head in slight confusion, wondering how her next words would affect her friend. "You're only not sure about Kendall because of Chad."

Jade's expression drew blank. "That's not true."

"Yes it is!" Leslie groaned. "I just can't figure out whether it's because you're scared of a repeat, or you need closure with Chad.."

"It's neither, Leslie."

"Yes-"

Jade cut her off quickly. "Leslie, I don't even think about Chad when I'm around Kendall!" She sat up, sighing. "That's why I'm so unsure about everything. Chad left four months ago, which, when saying it sounds like a long time ago, but it doesn't _feel_ like that long. I was crazy about him for a year and a half and that's just gone?"

"It's okay to move on! You _need_ to! I'm sorry, but dwelling on Chad right now would just be _stupid_."

"I don't feel _right_ moving on…"

"You already have, Jade! I don't know why admitting that is such a bad thing!" Jade remained silent, so Leslie kept going. "You have to learn to _let go_. Chad was crap! Period. Drawing everything out to just leave in the end was a shitty thing to do, Jade, you _know_ that!" Jade opened her mouth to say something, but Leslie held her hand up, stopping her. "If you hadn't moved on, you wouldn't have even brought Chad up. Did you even realize you said his name when you did?"

Jade looked down, because she knew she hadn't thought about the fact she had said his name. She also realized her eyes weren't burning with tears threatening to fall. And Kendall wasn't even present. Just then, her phone pinged with a new message. Curiously, she picked it up, seeing a small picture in the preview, from Kendall. "What?" She laughed, opening the text message and seeing a picture of Kendall, James, and Dustin, all with their bottom lips stuck out, pouting. Closing the picture, she read the caption. _We miss you already!_ "Awwww!" She giggled, shaking her head.

Leslie cleared her throat, still a bit frustrated with her friend, but terribly curious. Jade beamed, showing Leslie what she had just received. "How cute!" Leslie laughed, watching Jade as she looked at the picture again. "Jade, that guy right there is your answer."

Jade looked up from replying on her phone. "To what exactly?"

"To everything."

* * *

><p>"Hey buddy, have you looked at the script for episode three?" James was holding his own as he walked up and slapped the back of Kendall's head with it.<p>

"You mean, what they gave us of episode three? Yeah, why?"

James saw that Kendall's script and phone were both laid out in front of him. "Oh, I see!" James shrugged. "What do you think _end pending_ means?"

"That they're… pending the ending….?" Kendall looked up at his friend with confusion.

"But they've never done this before. They want to shoot episode three next week, and they don't even know how it's gonna end? That means they don't have the season planned out, I mean, am I right?"

"James, they have it planned out!" He laughed, giving his friend a friendly pat on the arm. "Chill out."

"How do you know?" James took a seat next to him.

Kendall sighed. "Yesterday morning before Jade left, we looked over the script and I called to see what was up. They said basically, they have two ideas, both written out, and they just don't know which one to go with yet." He shrugged. "If push comes to shove, they'll just feed us our lines. I mean, that's what they mostly do anyways."

"Huh," James considered that. "I wonder what the ideas are. 'Cause you know, _obviously_ Jade's character Kellyn, is for your character."

"Yes, she is," Kendall murmured, shaking his head slightly.

"It's just acting, Kendall."

"And what about when I'm supposed to kiss her? It's not in the script yet but you know it will be!" Kendall sighed. "I just- I don't know. I-… you're right. It's just acting."

Dismissively, he focused back on the paper in front of him, mindlessly pressing the home button on his phone to see if Jade had texted him back, even though he knew she hadn't. He anxiously rubbed the back of his neck, now staring at the picture on his lock screen. When it faded to black, the image was still visible in his mind. While they had many new pictures with one another, he kept his wallpaper one of the pictures from the night of the fair; it was on the Tilt-a-Whirl, after he came very close to taking her then and there. She had taken it with his phone, since he still had a hold of his Flip Cam in one hand, and was grasping her hand with his other, and right as she was about to take it, the cart they were riding in slid into an intense spiral, so when she snapped the shot, they were cracking up. He loved it.

Suddenly conscious that James was still sitting next to him, he sat up straight. "When did I become this guy, James?" James just shook his head, knowing his friend would continue without his input. "The guy that waits for a girl to text him back? That- that stares at pictures of the girl like some kind of lovesick… fool?" He couldn't think of any other words.

"Kendall, okay, seriously, your sudden change of heart is not the end of the world so stop acting like it!" James couldn't hold in his aggravation towards his friend. "God forbid Jade help you see the light! Look, we're young dudes. We like to party, we like girls even more. But what you were doing wasn't exactly a lifestyle choice any of us, as in your friends, would make! Except for maybe Logan, but that's beside the point." James shook his head. "I hate to break it to you, buddy, but you're growing up.

"Just because you've found this girl that you really like for once, doesn't mean you have to change everything else about you. You can still party, you can still be the crazy, fun guy you were. You just have to give up the one-night stands, which you kind of already have actually… if you really want Jade in your life, that is. Because I really can't see her even being friends with someone who sleeps around all the time."

Kendall sat there a moment, running his tongue over his teeth in thought. "I haven't slept with anyone since I met her."

James clapped a hand to Kendall's back as he stood up. "Well, Kendall, I think that's your answer right there. To all of it."

"I was under the impression that you didn't approve of all of this."

"Well, no I don't like the idea of you going behind the producers' backs when we've barely even gotten started, but…" James sighed. "You're one of my best friends, and I think you need Jade. How am I supposed to stop you from going after something, someone, you need?"

Kendall stared down at his hands uncertainly, milling over the words his friend had just spoken to him carefully in his mind.

"Just promise me something," James added. "Don't rush things with her. Let things unfold on their own."

Kendall nodded slowly, still processing the conversation. He picked up his phone, looking at the picture again. A small smile lit his face. "I promise, James. Thanks."

* * *

><p>"Okay," Dustin addressed the two in his car, pulling out of his driveway. "Jade's official welcome dinner is a go. She'll be here in two days, so we have a lot to get and to prepare. But we have one mission greater than cooking dinner and decorating."<p>

Logan and James nodded. "Carlos."

Dustin sped to the Latino's house, hoping that this ended well. He may not be an official member of Big Time Rush, but even he had to admit it was weird without Carlos around, and that Carlos was overreacting just a bit.

The three men bombarded the front door with knocks once they got there, a startled Carlos revealing himself as he pulled the door open. "Hey guys!" He furrowed his eyebrows together as he stepped aside to let them all inside. "Uh, what's up?"

James explained to his friend as they all grabbed a seat in Carlos' living room about the dinner for Jade and how they all really wanted him there, including Kendall. But a stubborn look sat upon his tan face as soon as he realized what they were asking of him. "Look," Carlos started. "It's nothing against Jade. I just can't sit there and watch the both of them around one another."

"So, you're still mad at Kendall, but you're fine with Jade?" James asked.

"Yes. This isn't Jade's fault." Carlos crossed his arms stubbornly. "And I'm not mad. Frustrated is a more fitting term."

"Okay, well why isn't this Jade's fault…"

"I mean, why wouldn't she fall for those stupid pretty green eyes, and teeth and dimples, and _hair_," Carlos spat bitterly. The guys all just stared at him. Carlos froze, realizing what he said. "That was weird, right?"

"Very," they all agreed in unison.

"Well you know what I mean! I mean, Kendall just goes around screwing girls left and right, and girls just go right along with it because it's _Kendall Schmidt_, and then _this_ girl comes along and he's cured of his manwhore ways? I mean this _poor_ girl went through so much and-"

"Wait," Dustin said. "So this isn't even about you having feelings for Jade?"

"No!" Carlos exclaimed. "I don't want him to hurt her!"

The guys all groaned in exasperation. "Dude are you _serious_?" James slapped the tiny latino's arm angrily.

Dustin sighed. "Come over for the welcome dinner, Carlos. Just come and see how different Kendall is with her."

Carlos milled it over in his mind. "I don't know.."

"Look man." Logan sat forward. "This is _me_ talking, right?" Carlos confusedly nodded. "Kendall _is_ different. But aside from all that, we just want our bro back. It's not the same when we can't have hangouts with _all_ of us. So please, just come on Saturday night."

Carlos huffed in frustration, but faltered. He did miss their hangouts. "I'll think about it, okay?"

"That's all we're asking." James nodded. "Change of subject real quick—do you know what the end to episode three is gonna be yet? They said they'd know today but when I called they didn't answer."

Carlos sighed. "Yeah. I called this morning." Zero enthusiasm seeped through Carlos' voice during what he said next. "Kendall's going to love it, I'm sure."

Dustin and James froze. Logan spoke up for them. "So it has to do with him and Jade's character?"

Carlos nodded. "Unfortunately. It focuses all on them."

James sunk into the couch. "Oh boy."

* * *

><p>"So tell me about this boy while you wait for your friends to get here!"<p>

"Mom." Jade laughed. "Kendall. Tall. Blonde. Eyebrows." She shrugged. "Oh, and very cute if that's what you were looking for."

"I already knew all of that!" Jade's mother shooed the description away with her hand. "I looked him up when you told me you were going to California to visit him." She winked.

"Mom!" Jade covered her face with her hands, hiding her blush and laughing. "It's good to see you haven't changed your creeper ways!"

"What can I say?" Mrs. Thomas smirked. "You're so dang independent. I had to check out the guy that was flying my nineteen year old daughter to California for the weekend. And now look! You're on his TV show! I'd say he's a keeper." She winked again.

"Okay mom, who taught you how to wink, first of all?" Jade snickered. "But yeah, he _could_ be a keeper. But I don't even know how he _feels_ about me, so…"

"Oh honey, you have so much to learn about relationships." Mrs. Thomas beamed at her daughter, patting the top of her head and going to look out the living room window. "I thought I heard someone! Leslie and Josh are here!"

"Josh?!" Jade jumped up and ran to the window. "When did he get back?! Oh my God!" She swung open her front door and ran out, jumping into Josh's arms. "Josh!" she exclaimed, refusing to let go of him for at least a few moments. Josh was Leslie's cousin and by far Jade's best guy friend, but she hadn't seen him in close to seven or eight months because like her cousin, he had chosen a military path.

"I'm glad to see you didn't forget about me," he murmured with a laugh. "How have you been?"

She knew he was referring to the Chad situation, especially since she heard Chad had gotten an ugly phone call from Josh-the two boys _used_ to be good friends-after Josh found out what happened while he was overseas. "I'm great! Really." She smiled, pulling back from him to scrutinize his face. "You didn't have to drop him as a friend, you know."

"Yes I did." Josh nodded. "I've known you a _lot_ longer, and care about you a _lot_ more. So you come first."

Jade couldn't help but hug him again. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too."

Just as Josh was pulling away, and Leslie was releasing a snide comment from her mouth, Jade heard her name being called from the road. "Ace? Wes?!" She ran out there and greeted them as well with enthusiastic hugs.

Everyone showed up within ten minutes, and Jade felt her heart warmed by the fact that she was surrounded by all of her friends. She had truly missed all of them, and regretted now more than ever that she had shut most of them out ever since Chad left. But for this night, Jade's last night in Texas, all was forgotten, and they simply enjoyed everyone's company.

It was close to midnight when Jade's phone started ringing, her mom calling to her from the kitchen about it. She frowned slightly. As much as she would've liked to talk to Kendall, she really needed this time with her friends that she was about to be leaving. She excused herself and waltzed into the kitchen, taking her phone from her mother's hand, and looking at it. "Huh." It wasn't Kendall. It was James. "Hello?"

"Have you talked to Kendall in the past… I don't know, six hours?"

"No, I haven't… why?"

"Okay good. I wanted to get to you before Kendall did, because I think you're going to need time to let this thought settle before you talk to him. As in, you'd be much better off hearing this from someone else than Kendall right n-"

"James! Just get on with it!"

"That whole _end pending_ thing with episode three? Yeah, well they're not pending the end anymore. They've decided."

Jade sighed. "Okay and this is important at midnight why…?"

James was silent for a moment. "Episode three ends with you and Kendall, well… you and Kendall have to kiss at the end of episode three."

Jade stood, frozen in her kitchen. "Oh boy," she murmured.

"Those were my exact words when I figured it out, too, actually." James sighed. "Jade, they want to film that episode the first week. Which, I don't even know _how_ we're supposed to get three episodes done in a week; I guess they want us to _die_ from exhaustion or something…" he trailed off, realizing Jade was still uneasily silent. "Kendall might not even tell you, but I knew it'd be better either way if you heard it from me, versus him or the producers."

"Yeah, that's uh, really soon…" Jade took a deep breath. "I um, I guess I knew it would be coming eventually, but I didn't expect it my first week on the show…"

"I know. If Kendall mentions it, play it as cool as possible, okay? If he doesn't think you're flipping shit about it, he won't either." Jade nodded, though James couldn't see her. James took the hint from her silence. "And if he calls you soon, just don't answer it. Get back to him later saying you were busy or something."

"Actually, I am busy. All of my friends are here right now. I should go, James. Uh, thanks."

"No probl-"

Jade hung up, setting her phone on the counter. "Oh boy," she said again.

Jade tried, desperately, to get back in the warm mood she had been in again for her friends, but it just wasn't working for her. They didn't seem to notice a difference, but she did, and she hated it. James had horrible timing. She didn't have much longer with them; he couldn't have held off that phone call for just another hour or so?

And when her phone buzzed on the coffee table in front of where she sat on the floor, she only looked at it for a split second before she clicked one of the side buttons, silencing it, and put the phone in her lap so the people around her couldn't see the picture. But she'd moved too slowly. She looked next to her to find Leslie eyeing her down, which lead her to look behind her at Josh on the couch who was doing the same.

"You're not gonna get that?" he asked, nudging Jade with his leg she was leaning against.

"Uh no. It's not important so." Jade avoided her friends' eyes, glancing down to see the notice saying _'Missed call: Kendall Schmidt'_ pop up. She felt horrible for not answering his call. Even though with the two hour time difference, she could've been asleep for all he knew. She wished she would've left her phone in the kitchen.

Jade forced a huge grin upon her face when her friend Bri made a comment regarding her going to Hollywood. "I mean when I heard you were flying out to California to visit some kind of rockstar," she said. "I should've known you wouldn't be coming back."

Jade just laughed and said, "I didn't exactly plan on this happening. Like, at all." She shook her head. "I wish you could all come with us."

Within the hour, everyone was gone but Leslie and Josh, who were staying the night with Jade. As soon as the three were alone, they bombarded Jade with their confusion. "So why didn't you answer lover boy's call?" Josh asked first.

"I was surrounded by friends! I wasn't going to take _another_ call while I was surrounded by friends I'm not gonna see for a really long time!" Jade's answer was a little too obviously prepared.

Leslie called her out on it immediately. "Lie."

"So the first phone call was lover boy too?" Josh asked.

"Would you stop calling him that? Especially if you're around everyone else because they don't know anything about my interest in him." Jade playfully tousled Josh's brunette hair. "No. The first call was James."

"But you took that call."

"Yes Josh. I took the first call. Which is why I didn't take the _second one_ because just taking the _first one_ was rude-"

"Jade you would never intentionally ignore one of Kendall's calls. You wouldn't even ignore it when you were bawling your eyes out in your car." Leslie eyed Jade down, more curious than ever. "So what's the deal?"

Jade stared down at her hands, tangling and untangling her fingers together, thinking. She didn't want to talk about this right now, but she knew she had no choice. "They decided how episode three is going to end. That's what James was calling to w-… tell me about."

"That's it?" Josh scoffed. "I thought it'd be worse than that."

Jade let out a humorless laugh. "Yeah, um." She shook her head. "No, uh, Kendall and I have to kiss. That's how episode three ends." She shrugged as if it didn't bother her, as if it was no big deal, but her friends knew better.

"Well this is a good thing, isn't it?" Josh said after a while.

"What are you getting at, Josh?"

"Well if the dude doesn't get it done _before_ y'all film this episode, once y'all kiss for it, he's not going to be able to hold back for long, so," Josh shrugged. "I mean I know _you_ won't make the move, and yeah."

"What an argument." Leslie shot a look at her cousin. "He does kind of have a point though, Jade."

"I get the point, but there's two things. Even if he does have feelings for me, both of us being on the show kind of you know, bans us from being together. Two, do you know awkward it's going to be to have to kiss him on a TV Show when I feel like this about him?"

Leslie smirked. "Awkward? More like hot."


	6. Reputation

**6 – Reputation **- _"I put myself in this position, and I deserve this imposition. And this pounding in my heart just won't die." – Madonna (Burning Up)_

The trek to Los Angeles was a long one for Leslie and Jade; they left too early in the morning for their liking, traveling in separate cars, to drive for twenty hours. They drove for ten hours, slept at a cheap motel, and drove the last ten once they woke up, finally arriving at their new apartment on the outskirts of LA. Exhausted, they each grabbed a box and their backpacks, settling to worry about the rest later, and walked up to Apartment 2B, the key in Jade's pocket, which had been mailed to her earlier in the week.

Jade thought she was about to pass out by the time they made it up the stairs and through the door, only to be startled half to death when she flipped the lights on and there were two men sitting on her studio-provided couch with beautiful grins on their faces. But when Kendall saw Jade nearly drop her box in shock, he was up in a flash, hurrying over to her and gently taking the box from her hands as he murmured a sweet "hi" to her.

She held his gaze, feeling her worry seep away, just like it always did when she was around him. She blinked slowly, setting her backpack on the ground and pulling him towards her for a tight embrace. "Hi," she tiredly murmured in his ear, releasing him to greet James. "Hey James." And after a quick hug, she turned around to see Kendall helping Leslie with her box. "Kendall, you've already sort of met Leslie. Leslie, Kendall. James, this is my friend Leslie."

James approached Jade's friend and offered her a hug instead of a handshake. "Nice to finally meet you! We've heard a lot about you," he said. Jade smiled.

"Same to you!" Leslie grinned at him. "It's great to finally meet y'all."

Jade fell onto the couch Kendall and James had been occupying before, trying to fight sleep but not really wanting to at the same time. "Jade, babe, toss me your car keys."

She let her head fall to the side, opening one eye so she could see Kendall. Did he really have to use one of his pet names in front of Leslie? Jade would never hear the end of it now. She saw James taking Leslie's keys out of her hand and sat up. "Y'all don't have to do that." Jade rubbed her eyes, trying to wake herself more.

She stood up, pulling her keys from her pocket and walking forward, but Kendall met her halfway. He tangled his fingers with hers in a quick, but meaningful motion as he slipped her keys from her hand, a smile touching his eyes right before he quickly pecked her cheek. "We're here to help." He pushed her back by her shoulders. "Now go sit down, and James and I will handle the boxes. Seriously. Leslie, you too!" He turned and looked at the girl. "Come sit."

Leslie just smirked, hooking an arm around Jade's and dragging her to the couch. "I don't think there's any arguing here, Jade," she said, pulling her friend down onto the cushions with her.

"Your friend is smart!" James remarked, adding with a grin, "I like her already."

Jade beamed. "Good." When the boys walked out the door, she looked at her friend to see a blush fading from her cheeks. "Leslie are you _blushing_?"

"What! No! I just- uh, I-"

"You can't even come up with an excuse?! Oh my God. I never thought I'd see the day."

Leslie looked panicked. "Uh, but- but… I thought you were exhausted five seconds ago! Uh, uh, uh, Kendall called you babe!"

"Oh no," Jade shook her head, still in disbelief. "Smooth Leslie, not so smooth today are we?"

"Ugh, he's just so… _pretty_ Jade!"

"I approve, Les. James is very sweet." Jade smirked.

"No! That's not what this is!" Jade just continued smirking at her flustered friend. "He just caught me off guard, okay?!"

"Leslie, it's okay to swoon over a guy."

"No, I mean. I don't know. I guess it's just actually pretty surreal to walk in and see two hot guys that you never thought you would meet, and then see your best friend so casual and trying to _fall asleep while they're in the same room._"

Jade stared at the frantic girl. "Are you okay…" she questioned. "I, uh, you never freak out about stuff like this…"

"I know, I think I'm just really tired." Leslie groaned and covered her face in embarrassment, receiving a sympathetic pat on the back from Jade.

James and Kendall were in and out of the apartment, having to make several trips and shooing away any offer the girls made to help them. And finally, James was using the coffee table in front of the couch as a seat, and Kendall was settling next to Jade. He tossed an arm across her shoulders, tugging her closer, and she rested against him. "It's nice to see you more awake now," he said cheerfully, squirming in his seat to get more comfortable.

"Mmm, not for long though." Jade shook her head, letting her eyes slide shut.

She heard laughing before James suggested, "Why don't I take the girls for some coffee? We'll meet you at your house and make plans from there. Sound good girls?"

Leslie's enthusiastic "Sure!" came quickly, but Jade groaned quietly. "My pillow can't come with me?"

Kendall gasped overdramatically. "Is that all I am to you?!"

"At the moment…?" Jade giggled. "Yes."

Tightening his embrace, Kendall shook his head with a laugh. "Go with James and get some caffeine in you. I'll see you in a bit."

Jade truly didn't understand why Kendall wasn't going with them, but when she thought about that, she realized how attached they were, and figured some time with just James and Leslie would be good.

James took them to his favorite café, buying a round of coffee and cookies for all three of them, and they sat around a table in the corner to indulge in their caffeine and sugar. "So did Kendall call you last night?" James asked Jade with a mouthful of cookie.

Jade nodded. "Yeah. I didn't answer."

"Well you talked to him a couple of times today, didn't you? Have you talked about, you know, the kiss?"

"He hasn't mentioned it." Jade slowly sipped her coffee. "And if he doesn't want to talk about it, then neither do I."

"Ya know," Leslie cut in. "It's actually kind of starting to sound like you're finally realizing he has feelings for you…"

"I was thinking the same thing," James nodded at Leslie briefly, turning his attention back to Jade.

"No." Jade rolled her eyes. "I don't think so. But we're friends, and we're going to have to kiss. Couldn't something like that ruin a friendship? And I mean, _I_ have feelings for him, so this does affect me."

James stared blankly at her. Leslie smirked. "She hadn't just straight admitted that in front of you yet, had she?" James shook his head in disbelief. "I pretty much had the same reaction when she came home from California last weekend admitting it."

"That's progress." James nodded in approval, suddenly becoming enthralled in deep conversation about Jade and Kendall with Leslie. Jade sighed in frustration and tuned them out. Now that the caffeine was beginning to work its magic, she was ready to go to Kendall's and find out what was in store for the night.

"We have one more stop to make before we head back," James said once they were back in his car. Jade contained a groan.

The drive lasted close to fifteen minutes, and they were in a part of town Jade hadn't seen yet. But while Jade was trying to take in the sights of the city, James pulled into a neighborhood, driving down long roads with big houses that all looked the same, until he finally pulled into a driveway. "Is this your house?" Jade asked.

"Nope." James stepped out of his car and waited for the girls to follow, proceeding to march up to the front door and immediately ring the doorbell. For a moment, no one came to the door. Right as James was about to walk in without an invite, a light creak signaled the door opening, revealing a familiar, short latino man.

"Carlos!" Jade exclaimed, immediately throwing her arms around him as soon as she saw a look of recognition on his face.

"Hey sweetheart!" Carlos murmured into her hair, shooting James a reproachful look which didn't go unnoticed by Leslie. "How have you been?"

"I've been great!" Jade exclaimed, pulling back to look at him. "Really amazing. I can't believe I didn't see you at all last weekend!"

"I know, I know." Carlos smiled softly. "But you're here now! Here, come in!" He led his visitors inside and into the living room, where they all chose a seat.

They all talked for a while, Jade ecstatic that she was seeing Carlos again. And Carlos was genuinely happy to see Jade, but he knew what James' game was. He knew this was a trap.

He was going to have to go to the welcome dinner at Kendall's house.

Sure enough, James was soon suggesting that Carlos join them on their adventure tonight, to which Jade enthusiastically pitched in, practically begging him to come with them. And the only way he was getting out of it was if he gave away that there was a surprise dinner waiting for Jade and Leslie at Kendall and Dustin's house, and Carlos wouldn't ruin that for her. So he found himself getting in his car, and following James to Kendall's house. And then he was there, face to face with the friend he had been avoiding for over a month.

Kendall was more than surprised to see Carlos walk in with the other three, and very happy that Jade had gone straight to and was distracted by Logan and Dustin so she didn't see his reaction. "Hey man," he said, awkwardly bumping fists with his small friend. "I'm glad you're here."

For a moment Carlos didn't say anything, but then he sighed, defeated, and simply said, "Me too," then gave Kendall a pat on the arm and moved forward to greet Logan and Dustin.

Kendall breathed a sigh of relief and spun around, almost immediately meeting Jade's gaze. The look on her face was a look one normally wouldn't want to be caught giving, a look of some sort of affection, but Jade didn't falter. A shy smile played at her lips as she approached him, and Kendall thought he felt his heart abruptly stop, but instead of passing out, he really needed to keep it cool as usual. "Thank you for this," she murmured once she was standing in front of him.

"No need to thank me. We're all excited to have you here. It was the least we could do." Kendall shrugged. "There's uh, quite a variety of foods." He laughed. "I wanted to cook you an actual meal and everything, but once the guys started pitching in and demanding things… yeah." He shook his head.

"Men," Jade jokingly scoffed with a laugh. "I'm sure I'll love it, either way."

The get-together lasted well into the night, and Carlos actually managed to have somewhat of a good time; he _was_ surrounded by some of his best friends, after all. And he did see how different Kendall was with Jade compared to every other girl. For one, Kendall didn't look at her like she was a piece of meat. No, he actually gazed at her rather lovingly, like she was the most important person in the world. He stayed attached at her hip for most of the night, trying to keep everything perfect for her, asking her questions and watching for her reactions to things until she finally rested a hand on his knee and insisted that everything was absolutely perfect, and he calmed down tremendously, just under her touch.

Carlos was rather taken aback. He couldn't help but sigh when he noticed all of these things; maybe he _had_ been a bit too quick to judge. But there was still that bitter feeling in the pit of his stomach that he figured only time would get rid of. But he would tough it out, because this dinner made Carlos realize just how much he missed his blonde best friend, and how much he was willing to let him back into his life.

Carlos smiled to himself. _The boys were back_.

* * *

><p>The next few days trotted by with ease as Leslie and Jade settled into their brand new, extremely spacious apartment, explored the area, and spent many hours soaking in the sun by their apartment complex's beautiful pool, making acquaintances with their new neighbors along the way, a couple that were actually on the show.<p>

They didn't see the guys as much as Jade had expected, but then she had to remember that when she had been in California for the Incubus show, she was a guest to the area, and now she was a resident. The boys didn't need to take care of her.

All five stopped by at some point during that first week though, to check in or hang out; James more than any of them even though Kendall and Dustin lived literally five minutes down the road. But Kendall was keeping as much distance as he could bear, not wanting to come on to her too strongly. After all, they couldn't exactly be together, right? He tried not to dwell on those kinds of thoughts, attempting to let things flow like James had suggested.

Kendall laughed a bit to himself; James had been oddly invested in this situation, and rather inspirational. He'd also really grown close to Jade, which Kendall truthfully hadn't expected. James had hung out with her more than Kendall had since she moved in down the road.

And as if right on cue, James strolled into the kitchen. "Hey James." Kendall raised his eyebrows. "Don't you have your own place?"

James simply laughed, shooing the idea away with a dramatic hand. "I came to see if you want to go to Jade's with me," he said. "I bought a pool-style volleyball net…" He started playfully poking his friend's arm as he continued, "And Jade needs a teammate." He wriggled his eyebrows insinuatingly.

Kendall rolled his eyes, but smiled. "_You_ can't be her teammate?"

"No," James smirked. "I'm _Leslie's_."

"Ah-ha." Understandingly, Kendall nodded, then shook his head, giving in. "Just set up the net here. We can order pizza or something."

"Aw you're the best, buddy!" James started backing out of the kitchen. "Now the girls won't get threatened to be kicked out of their apartment for breaking the pool rules!"

"Ya know, I'm starting to think you're a bad influence on the girls, James…"

"Me? Bad influence? Ha!" James dramatically flipped his hair from his face, looking at Kendall with wide eyes and speaking in a very James Diamond-y voice, "You're just jealous."

"Yes, James," Kendall droned monotonously. "I'm jealous that you're friends with Jade, since I'm not or anything."

James shrugged. "Whatever. Hey, I've been meaning to talk to you!"

"You're talking to me right now."

"Yeah, anyways." James rolled his eyes. "You seem to be holding up pretty well with the whole having to kiss Jade so soon thing."

Kendall shrugged. "It's not a big deal."

"It's not?"

"No." The blonde shook his head. "It's just acting, so." He shrugged again.

"So you didn't have like, an anxiety attack or anything when you found out the other night?"

"Well, I mean, okay, I kinda did," Kendall sighed. "I guess I sort of made a deal with myself that night. I found out, then thought about it nonstop for, I don't know, _hours_, freaking stumped on _what_ I should do. Then I decided. I would call her. Jade has always answered my calls, and I've always answered hers. No matter what time, or whatever.

"So I figured, it'd be a decent deal for me to say that if I called her and she answered, then we needed to talk about us and all that. If she actually _didn't_ answer for once, then well, the whole subject would be dropped and I'd know to stop making a big deal out of all of this, because it's obviously just not _meant to be_ or whatever crap like that, so.."

James tried not to fall over. "And she didn't answer." It wasn't a question.

Kendall shook his head slowly, disappointment showing on his face. "Nope. No answer."

_Oh shit. My fault! _James frantically searched for an argument. "But dude! She could've been asleep or something!"

"Either way. She still didn't answer. That was the deal with myself."

"That was the _dumb_ deal with yourself!" James had the urge to punch himself in the face. He'd told Jade not to answer that phone call. Kendall giving up right now would be completely James' fault.

"James chill out. It's not like I'm just denying how I feel or anything. Me and Jade will probably still flirt and whatnot. It's still going to be hard to be around her." Kendall shrugged. "But I have to live with it. Plus, as far as I see it, once we start filming, there won't be much personal time for us, so I just have to last until then."

"So you're just giving up," James said flatly.

"No. Just letting things happen as they may, like you suggested."

James made a motion to slap his own forehead, but stopped himself. So this was pretty much _all_ his fault. His advice. _This is why I'm not a counselor for a living!_

The pizza arrived right after the girls, and the four friends settled in the backyard, Kendall calling the double-tanning-chair for himself and Jade, making James and Leslie pull up single seats around them while they all enjoyed their meal and made small talk, mostly listening to the music playing in the background from Kendall's phone. And once the pizza boxes were disposed of, Leslie and Jade lounged in their respective seats, being as discreet as possible as they admired the shirtless guys assembling the volleyball net in front of them.

James jumped right in once they were finished, to drag the net across to the other side, calling Leslie in after him.

"Jade, come onnnn," Kendall drew out in a very whiny voice, walking over to the double-chair and picking up her hand.

"Good luck with that, Kendall!" Leslie yelled from the pool. "You'll never get her in the pool until after thirty minutes has passed since she ate."

Kendall squeezed Jade's hand anxiously, subconsciously fighting the urge to take his eyes away from her face to travel other places. He needed to learn control, something he had never deemed necessary around girls until this one came along. "Another weird habit?"

Jade shrugged. "You'd follow typical pool rules like that, too if your parents owned a country club your whole life."

Tugging on her hand lightly, Kendall desperately glanced between the pool and her, not sure if he wanted to be in the water that badly, or if he just wanted the water to cover Jade's body so he didn't have to suffer much longer. "But-" He frowned.

She stuck out her bottom lip in an almost flirtatious pout, returning the gesture of pulling on his hand, and murmured, "You wouldn't leave me to sit here all alone, would you?"

As if something else was directing him, he found himself letting go of her hand as he smiled and climbed onto the chair next to her. There was a part of him that couldn't believe himself; this girl had him wrapped around her finger and there was _nothing he could do about it_. He couldn't be with her, but he couldn't _not_ be with her, or he'd end up going crazy.

Her arm rested against his and he heard her murmur a sweet "thank you" as she turned her head to gaze at him. All he could wonder as he stared back into her bright, hazel eyes was how was he so new to all of these kinds of feelings, yet so deep in them already? But every time he thought about that, he couldn't picture only keeping her in his life for a couple of hours or days like the others.

He bit his lip as she looked away from him, watching their friends talk and flirt in the pool. "They're cute, aren't they?" she whispered as she saw Leslie giggle, very girly-like, and lightly splash water at James. "She acts like such a giddy little girl around him. And she doesn't do school-girl crushes; she's kind of an all or nothing person."

"And you're not?" Kendall sightlessly found her fingers, curling his index finger around one of hers, tugging on it playfully.

She smiled slightly, tugging back. "I guess I am. I'm just more prone to crushes..." She blushed. "I'm just not as uh, experienced as she is, I guess."

"There's nothing wrong with that," Kendall whispered, seeing her simply sigh and close her eyes, and he just followed suit, their fingers still wrestling between them. And he realized it was the truth.

But as soon as James announced that thirty minutes had passed, Kendall jumped up, dragging Jade with him, and ran towards the pool, only to have her let go of his hand at the last minute and shove him into the water, laughing hysterically. Before he could even resurface, she jumped in on James and Leslie's side of the net, ducking for cover behind them.

"Oooh!" James yelled rather childishly. "Now he's gonna get ya!" He dodged away. "And so am I!" Laughing triumphantly, he splashed both girls in the face and joined flanks with Kendall, to begin a battle of sorts. Girls against guys. James and Kendall dominated, ultimately stronger and faster than the girls when it came to chasing them, or the girls trying to dunk them underwater.

Their games lasted into hours of the night, moving from the pool, to the game room with air hockey, ping pong, and a pool table, to the main living room where they played video games, all being overly competitive for all of it. Jade was ecstatic that Leslie got along with the guys like she did, and hoped they could have hang-outs like this often. And she really was rather surprised at Leslie's little crush on James, since she seemed so smitten with Dustin after the fair a couple of months before.

She was especially surprised the night she found herself taking a lonely stroll late, less than twelve hours before she officially began production for the show, of course ending up on Kendall's doorstep.

He answered wearing a white t-shirt, gray sweats, and with his hair messy, but a lazy grin upon his face at the sight of Jade. "Well hey there!" he exclaimed, opening the door more and scratching his head in curiosity.

She smiled apologetically and slid in through the open space between him and the doorframe. "Sorry I didn't call or anything… I wasn't really planning on coming here. I just kind of looked up and here I was!" She laughed nervously.

Kendall wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close and leading her out of the room. "You know you're always welcome here, Jade." He placed a soft kiss to her temple. "But I am curious as to why you were taking a stroll this late at night?"

"I was kinda lonely," she admitted with a sigh.

"Well where's Leslie?"

"James took her on a date," she responded matter-of-factly.

"Wow," Kendall murmured, slightly bothered with the idea. But he knew it was selfish of him to be bothered by it just because he can't be with Jade. "Well, guess we saw that one coming, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess…" Jade was bothered by it too.

"Well, you can stay here tonight. I mean, if ya want."

Kendall led her down the downstairs hallway, towards her favorite room in the house; she liked to call it the beanbag room. It was simple, but comfortable, with a fireplace, beanbags and rugs instead of chairs and couches, very vintage decorations of reds and browns on crème-colored walls, and a couple of acoustic guitars.

"So how have these couple of days been with your acting coach?" he asked before they entered the beanbag room. Instead of attending the preproduction days with the rest of the cast, Jade had to go to mandatory sessions with a professional acting coach the producers set her up with.

"Okay, I guess. He's not exactly my favorite person in the world, but," she shrugged. "I'm just ready to start the show."

Kendall chuckled. He'd been there. "Well tomorrow's the big day!" he exclaimed, pushing open the door, revealing Dustin, guitar on his lap, and paper spread out all around. And there was another guitar lying next to him.

"Oh, Kendall. I don't want to impose on y'alls writing time!" Jade tried backing away, but Kendall held her in place.

"Jade, you're fine! Seriously." He pulled her inside.

Dustin waved her in with a friendly smile. "Come on, girl! Grab a seat."

Jade huffed in defeat and let Kendall lead her towards the unlit fireplace to take the only extra beanbag, sit, and make herself comfortable. She watched how as soon as Kendall sat back down and picked up his guitar, he faced his best friend and they were lost in their own world, Jade's presence forgotten. They strummed or sang bits here and there more than they spoke to one another, mesmerizing her with the music surrounding her.

"Good sesh, buddy," Dustin said after an hour's work, picking up some papers and setting aside his guitar, standing up to ruffle his friend's hair and tell him and Jade goodnight.

Jade shifted in her oversized beanbag chair, lying on her side now to watch as Kendall flipped through the remaining papers, organizing them and reading lines here and there. Once satisfied, he lightly tossed the stack onto the bag Dustin had been sitting on and gazed at Jade with a content expression on his face. Writing music really was like a therapy to him, and she could see that in his eyes; how relaxed he seemed now.

"Play me something," she murmured.

"What?" Kendall shook his head slightly, cheeks flushing with color.

"Anything. Even just an Incubus song. I know you know how to play at least one of them." She grinned softly.

"I, uh, I don't know." He ducked his head bashfully, glancing up at her through his eyelashes.

"You're on the verge of becoming an international superstar. You can't be nervous to play for me."

"Trust me, it's a lot different," he mumbled, licking his lips nervously. She didn't say anything else; she just stared at him until he finally gave in. "Fine," he said, reaching for his guitar again, seeing her triumphant smile in his peripheral view.

So he played the Incubus song he loved playing more than any of the others: Drive. And Jade was lost; in her thoughts, in his emotion, in his voice. She wanted to know what she had done to deserve being here, in California, living out a dream she didn't even really think she had, watching Kendall Schmidt sing Drive by Incubus two feet away from her. Jade Thomas of three months ago would've laughed hysterically had she been told she'd be where she was now.

And she studied everything about him as he sang. She loved the way he squeezed his eyes shut on the big notes, but stared deep into her eyes on the soft ones. And how his fingers moved effortlessly to form the right chords, and strum the right patterns. How his feet twitched, like he was dying to be up on a stage, instead of simply sitting down. And how incredible his unique voice sounded paired with this song. She sighed when he neared the end, wishing he had picked a longer song.

She could listen to him sing all night.

* * *

><p>"Note to self: <em>don't<em> stay with Kendall on nights before filming…"

Kendall chuckled, watching Jade get frustrated with exhaustion from simply brushing her hair. He had the urge to let her know how cute she looked when she was frustrated, but he contained the comment.

They'd gotten about three hours of sleep, but Kendall had a feeling the girl was more nervous than tired. Then again, he wasn't sure how _he _was so awake, but a part of him was fairly certain it had to do with waking up to the sight of Jade sleeping peacefully next to him.

He sighed contently and stood from his bed, approaching Jade from behind, and met her eyes in the mirror. "Guess what?" he asked softly, placing his hands on her shoulders and resting his chin on the left one. "You're gonna do great today. And everyone's gonna love you."

She sighed, leaning her head against his for a moment. "Thanks." She smiled tiredly when Kendall gently took the brush from her hand and started brushing her hair for her.

"Come on, I'll make you some coffee," he said once the too-frustrating-for-Jade tangles were gone, with a grip on her shoulders again, he led her out of his room, down the stairs, and to the kitchen, directing her to a barstool and moving away from her to switch on the coffeemaker and retrieve the brew and ingredients.

"Organic coffee?" Jade smirked.

"The best organic coffee you'll ever taste!" He flashed her a smile.

"The _only_ organic coffee I'll ever taste." She giggled, watching him closely and feeling her nerves calm down tremendously.

"Har har," he muttered sarcastically, the hint of a grin playing across his lips as he glanced over at her.

While the two waited for the coffee to brew, Kendall nabbed them some homemade muffins Dustin had made the day before, and Kendall filled Jade in on things she wanted to know about being on set.

"So does everyone get their own dressing room, or what?" she asked, nibbling on the muffin in her hand.

Kendall shook his head, looking apologetic. "No. The main cast does, but non-main have to share. It's usually only two to a room though!"

"Oh, well that's cool then, I guess." Jade smiled. "Maybe I'll make a friend."

"Jade, you'll make tons of friends. Stop worrying about that."

She shrugged. "I can only hope."

"I wouldn't be surprised if you share with Kathryn…" Kendall murmured thoughtfully. "She was supposed to share with Maygan, the one who got in the accident."

* * *

><p>Kendall ended up being right about the room arrangements; when they arrived at Paramount in their separate cars, and he took Jade to a main office to get last minute issues sorted out, she received her dressing room number, and once Kendall escorted her there, he saw the nameplate. "Yep," he said. "Kathryn." With one firm hand on Jade's shoulder, Kendall knocked on the dressing room door twice, then pushed it open slowly. "Knock, knock. Delivery for Kathryn!" He chuckled, squeezing Jade's shoulder under his hand and leading her inside.<p>

"Hi!" Jade waved an awkward hand and smiled when she saw the petite brunette girl sitting on a long couch against the wall. "I'm Jade."

"Oh… hi!" Kathryn carefully placed the magazine she was reading on the couch next to her, seeming a bit more interested in how straight the pages were than meeting Jade. She remained seated with a superficial smile plastered on her thin face. "It's _great_ to finally meet you."

"You too!" Jade attempted not to seem too taken aback, hoping she was just reading into Kathryn's actions wrongly. She stood there awkwardly for a moment, then glanced back at Kendall to see him watching Kathryn with a raised eyebrow.

He met Jade's eyes and quickly smiled, squeezing her shoulder again. "Come on," he said brightly. "Put your stuff down and I'll take you to makeup. We're kinda late."

Jade nodded, and matching Kendall's bright tone, she simply said, "Alright," and broke away from his grasp to place the papers in her hand and her purse on the empty vanity. She turned to Kathryn one last time. "See you later!" She walked out past Kendall, feeling his firm hand on the small of her back and hearing him close the door behind them. Jade's smile faded. Had she given anyone a reason to dislike her? She hadn't even met anyone yet besides the guys and producers. And she really wasn't sure whether Kendall had noticed, or she had just imagined it.

"Here, let's stop by my dressing room real quick," Kendall said, moving in front of her to lead the way. "I left my clothes that I have to wear today in there." They walked a little farther down the hallway before he finally opened a door. "And _this_ is the most awesome room in the building!" he introduced with a smirk.

"Kendall, this is probably the plainest room I've seen since I've been here!" She laughed, looking around at the empty tan walls with the brown couch, brown chair, and oddly-colored patch pillows.

"It's all in the imagination, okay?!" he exclaimed defensively, but laughed along with her. "I'll decorate eventually…"

"As in, never."

"Not true!" He lightly shoved her. "You're welcome in here whenever by the way." He walked across the room where a complete outfit hung on a random hook on the wall.

"Thanks…" she murmured. She had a feeling she would be taking him up on that pretty often.

Kendall took her to makeup, where she was then whisked away to be dressed. He wanted to wait for her, but he was soon called to set to begin the first scene before she was done.

Jade became incredibly overwhelmed right before her first scene as she had a team prepping her for her first shoot with Carlos. The Latino greeted her as he walked up, ahead of the camera crew. "You ready for this?" he asked with a grin.

She nodded. "But we don't even speak in this scene." She giggled nervously.

"It's a good start." Carlos offered an encouraging pat to her back. "Eases you into it."

Nerves were rolling through Jade like never before as she waited for her first cue. She observed her surroundings, taking in the lobby set up. It was all so surreal. She saw Carlos and Kathryn take their positions, along with a few extras for the background. Then there were at least thirty cast and crew, planning, buzzing with the excitement of production, and waiting.

Her first bit of direction was to walk in slow and model-like, which she felt so awkward doing, four seconds after the gigantic fog machine in the doorway began rolling. They continued directing her as they shot, telling her to keep going and walk right past Carlos, who would stare after her with his mouth hanging open. They had to redo the scene twice more, to get different angles.

After they filmed the whole walking segment, passing Logan after Carlos, then coming across Kendall and James, it was time to move on to the first scene Jade had auditioned with, which was by the signature pool. Kendall flashed his remarkable smile at her, while James gave her an encouraging thumbs up as the crew positioned the camera correctly.

"Hey, how'd your _date_ with Leslie go?" she whispered to James while they waited.

"I don't kiss and tell, Jade." He winked.

Her mouth dropped but before she could say anything, they were being called to attention. They jumped right into the next scene, and continued through lunch, finally earning a two hour lunch break at 2:00PM.

"I promise, it's hardly ever like this," Kendall murmured as he took a seat across from Jade, a plate full of food in his hand. At first Jade thought he was talking about the fact that she was sitting alone, as the only other people in the room were Kathryn and two of the other girl cast members, Dianna and Blakely, and they showed no desire to sit with Jade. In fact, they kept looking over at her, exchanging whispers that she was sure weren't good things. Well, it didn't really look like Dianna was participating, but still. But then Kendall added, "We never have this late of a lunch, but you know, with production being pushed back and all, they're really pushing to get three episodes done this week." He took a bite of his sandwich. "I think we might actually pull it off, too. We're actually almost done with the first one!"

"Yeah, I'm having a great time…" Jade was distant, not even looking at the man in front of her. All day she had the distinct feeling that the girls of the cast were avoiding her, and talking about her every time she turned her back, and it was starting to really bother her.

"You alright?" Kendall questioned uncertainly, tilting his head to try and meet her distant gaze.

Jade straightened up. "Oh! …yeah. Just… tired, I guess."

He furrowed his eyebrows in concern, fighting the urge to grab her hand across the table. He'd have to refrain himself a lot now. "Okay…" He sighed. "How about we have a nap session in my dressing room after we eat?"

She smiled toothlessly, forcefully. "Sounds good."

The two didn't talk much after that, eventually silently rising from their seats and sharing a small smile before they trotted off to his dressing room, passing a forcefully nonchalant Kathryn and company on the way out. Jade felt her head fall as she walked off. No matter how much she assessed every single thing she did that day, she couldn't remember anything that was detrimental enough to her reputation to make people dislike her.


	7. Just Acting

**7 – Just Acting **- _"Why do I keep running from the truth? All I ever think about is you. You've got me hypnotized, so mesmerized…" – David Archuleta (Crush)_

"Kathryn, is this really such a good idea?" Dianna whispered with an uncertain look upon her face. "She seems like a pretty nice girl…"

"Sh!" Kathryn shooed away the bleach blonde girl with her hand, peering down the hallway to make sure they were alone. She turned back to her friends. "This situation is bad on so many different levels. This girl should _not_ have a spot on this show!"

"Kat's right," Blakely nodded. "Kendall was wrong for this."

Dianna's eyes darted back and forth between her castmates as they tiptoed down the hallway towards Kendall's dressing room; she didn't like this. She watched Kathryn press her ear against the man's door, a smirk creeping to her face. "Yep," she said, immediately walking back the way they came from.

Dianna spun around, running after her. "Shouldn't you at least look inside?!"

"No. The quicker I go get a producer, the better."

Dianna slowed to a walk, shaking her head. She didn't want to be a part of this. The other girls didn't even notice she wasn't keeping pace with them anymore, and kept going. Dianna sighed and headed in the other direction to the dressing room she shared with Blakely. She didn't want her name mixed in this drama.

* * *

><p>"Sir!" Kathryn poked her head through the crack in the director, Scott's office door.<p>

The man struggled to respond through a mouth full of food. "Kathryn! What's up?"

She stepped inside, Blakely in close quarters. "Listen, Scott." She took a seat in front of his desk. "You guys are all about keeping the peace and following the rules on set, which is amazing. And I'm all about helping out with that, okay?"

"What are you getting at, Kathryn?"

"I think you should go take a peek inside Kendall's dressing room."

Scott sighed, setting his sandwich down and pushing himself up from his seat. He knew what the girl was implying, and he hoped more than anything she was wrong. Scott didn't agree with the no dating rule, and he was not in the mood to have to fire someone today, or, ever. He was a friendly guy, and loved all of the youngsters he had cast for his show. And even though some crew members were suspicious of Kendall and Jade, Scott gave them the benefit of the doubt considering Kendall's past relationships. If Kendall was friends with a girl, it usually meant he had not or would not sleep with her.

The director dreaded the actions he potentially would have to take. He didn't see why Kathryn would lead him there under false pretenses, which is the only reason he didn't question her. He sighed right before he opened Kendall's dressing room door and peered inside, only to sigh again, filled with relief.

The sight in front of him was _nothing_ to question. He heard Radiohead playing softly, and looked over to see Kendall's ancient CD player going. Kendall was lying on his side on his couch, fast asleep, and Jade was curled up, wrapped in a hoodie too big for her on the LA-Z Boy chair, also fast asleep. That's when Scott realized how cold it was in the room. He slipped back out and turned on Kathryn, frustrated. "What did you lead me down here for? To point out that Kendall's air conditioner needs to be fixed? Well thank you, Kathryn. Maybe I can get someone down here to fix it before they catch a cold in there." He walked off, shaking his head. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get back to my lunch."

Kathryn stood frozen, shock obvious on her face. Blakely took a look inside Kendall's room. "Yeah, Kat. You probably shoulda listened to Dianna and looked before you went and got him… oh, and it _is_ freezing in there!"

Kathryn snapped out of her frozen state and lightly pushed Blakely away, seeing for herself. She frowned, seeing the two not even facing each other as they slept. Although Jade _was_ wrapped in Kendall's hoodie… but the room felt like it was twenty degrees, so that wasn't good proof. Kathryn sighed, closing the door quietly behind her. She wouldn't have this.

* * *

><p>Jade only had two more takes after lunch before she was free to go home for the night, and then the next morning, she only had to come in at ten for one scene. She couldn't have been happier about how that worked out, because it meant she got to catch up on her sleep after that random late night with Kendall.<p>

She ended up staying on set until close to 4:00PM though, just hanging out with the guys when they were free from filming. She didn't mind today as much as she had the day before. But she figured that had to do with hardly seeing Kathryn and the other girls at all.

But her day took a turn for the worst when she decided she was going to drop off her script in her dressing room, instead of taking it home with her so she wouldn't forget it the next day. She made a move to turn the doorknob to her dressing room when she heard talking. She recognized the voice as Kathryn immediately. Then she heard what the girl was saying.

"It just pisses me off that Jade _actually_ got a spot on the show. I mean, seriously! One of Kendall's _whores_ a spot? Since when does he want to be around one for more than three days _tops_?! It's sickening that he's bringing his disgusting way of life to his work. Seriously. He can't leave the trash at home?"

Jade had heard enough. She didn't realize her script was crumpled under her grip or that tears were burning at the back of her eyes. She didn't care. She just turned on her heels and did all she could not to take off running for her car. One of Kendall's _whores_? _One_ of them? Jade didn't know what to make of those words. She didn't know who to be upset with at the moment, and she didn't want to cry. Crying would be stupid. But she couldn't help it. The tears came uncontrollably, leaving her to wish that she at least wouldn't run into anyone on her way out.

Making it out of the building successfully, Jade made a beeline for her car, keeping her head down and walking as fast as she possibly could, trying not to attract attention as she wiped her eyes, trying to clear her vision. But it was inevitable. She had _almost_ made it to her car; she was literally feet away when she bumped into James, whom she had parked next to. "Oh hey Jade!" he said cheerfully, but she didn't respond quickly enough, and he grabbed her shoulders, trying to see her face. "Jade, what's _wrong_?"

She shook her head, but she knew trying to keep everything from James would be pointless; he would just cause a scene if she fought him. So she spilled what she heard Kathryn say to him, getting upset all over again and causing more tears to form and fall.

Anger settled on James' face quickly. His expression was set and hard. "Jade. Go home. Get some sleep or something, okay? But do me a favor and don't worry about this. You have nothing to worry about. _Nothing_, okay? I'll take care of Kathryn, and you don't need to worry about what she said about Kendall."

With that and a quick pat to the shoulder, he stalked off. Even his walk looked angry. But Jade took his advice and went home to take a nap. Of course she had to explain to Leslie why she was upset, then had to sit and listen to her go off on a tangent about how much of a bitch Kathryn must be, but soon enough, she was in her comfortable bed, and drifting off to sleep.

Four hours later, Jade was up, had showered, eaten, and decided she would go talk to Kendall. About what, she wasn't sure. She figured she would tell him about Kathryn and just go from there.

Hoping the fresh air would clear her mind a bit, she settled to walk to his house again. The stroll seemed to take less time than before, and she earnestly knocked on the front door, desperate to see Kendall. But to her disappointment, Dustin answered. "Hey Jade! Come on in."

"Hey. Is Kendall, uh, around?" Jade stepped in awkwardly.

"'Fraid not," Dustin shrugged empathetically. "I'm making hot cocoa right now though and you're welcome to join me!"

Jade smiled. "Sure, sounds great."

She followed him into the kitchen and took a seat at the bar, watching him concoct more hot chocolate, very much like Kendall would make coffee. "Yeah," Dustin said. "Kendall's staying at Logan's tonight. All of the guys are."

"Oh, okay."

"Yeah, they do that every now and then. Have little group get-togethers. They usually work on songs or something. Even though they keep trying and no one's taking them seriously," he explained.

"What do you mean?"

"Well they keep getting together and working on songs for possible use on the show…" Dustin shrugged. "And the producers pretty much shoot 'em down every time."

"That's horrible!" Jade exclaimed.

"I know. But they keep trying, which is all that matters in the end, I guess."

Jade sighed. "Of course."

They sat in silence for a while as Dustin finished preparing their hot beverages, and finally, he set a mug in front of Jade and sat next to her, hesitating to speak. "Look," he said. "You really need to talk to Kendall about what you heard Kathryn say today, but I do have something I want to say."

Jade nearly choked on her first sip of cocoa. "Kendall already knows about it?"

"Well yeah." Dustin sighed. "Kathryn doesn't have any right to actually judge you. She doesn't even know you; she started making assumptions before you met. So please, please try not to let her bother you. From what I heard, she got a pretty _colorful_ earful from James earlier, and you probably won't have to worry about her acting shitty towards you anymore." He sipped on his drink. "As for Kendall… I can't really say much, but he _really_ cares about you, Jade. And what you heard Kathryn say, and what you might hear tomorrow, about Kendall's lifestyle choices, I don't want that to change how you see him. Because everything you've seen since you met him is real." He wanted her to know he wasn't lying to her. He stared into her eyes and added, "I promise it's all been real."

* * *

><p>"Early day. Early day…" Jade mumbled to herself as she rummaged through her kitchen in a half-asleep daze, in search of coffee. She managed to get a brew going, and was on her way back to her room when she heard a car honk outside. She ignored it.<p>

Her feet dragged under her as she trudged towards her closet, considering showing up to set in sweats; it's not like they weren't going to dress her themselves once she was there. That was enough to convince herself. She grabbed some sweatpant-capris from a drawer and a clean t-shirt, and was in the middle of sleepily brushing her hair when there was a knock at the front door. She groaned, not wanting to move any more than she had to, and went to answer the door.

"Someone's not much of a morning person!"

"Carlos," Jade groaned again. "_What_ are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "I thought I'd take you out for coffee or something!"

"I'm already making coffee." She sighed. "But you're welcome to come in and have some."

"Thanks!" The man smiled brightly and walked in past her, trotting towards the kitchen a little too energetically for Jade's mood.

"Carlos, _how_ do you have so much energy?" Jade droned, slowly attempting to take the coffee pot from the maker.

He laughed. "It's a rare thing, trust me." He took the pot from her hand and poured the hot liquid into her mug, putting it back on the maker without filling up the second mug for him.

"You don't want any?" she questioned, pulling the sugar and creamer towards herself.

"Nah. Not a big fan of coffee!" Carlos took a seat at the small table in the room.

"Then why did you drive all the way out here to take me to get some?!" Jade plopped down across from him.

"I was going to drive you to set too!" he responded defensively.

She sighed. "Is this about the crap that happened with Kathryn yesterday? What, do I need an escort now?"

"No, it's not like that, Jade." He sighed too. "It's just a complicated situation right now, and I thought you could use a friend." Suddenly his whole posture changed as he became angry. "But I get it, I'm not Kendall. Well he's busy right now, but whatever, I'll just let myself out." He turned to storm off.

"Carlos, wait!" She grabbed his arm, whipping him back around to face her. "What the hell?" Her voice squeaked with heightened emotion. She didn't understand where the Latino's full-fledged anger had come from. She felt like she had been slapped; tears were already flooding the brims of her eyes. "I don't _only_ care about Kendall," she whispered. "Is that how I come off?"

"S-" Carlos stopped himself. He was about to say _sometimes_, but deep down he knew that wasn't true. He didn't even know why he snapped like he did. He'd been doing his best to be okay with the idea of Kendall and Jade, but he felt like he'd held so much hostility towards Kendall for so long that he just couldn't shake the feeling sometimes. He sighed. He'd actually admired how upset Kendall got when James had filled them in on what happened with Kathryn. Kendall was a passionate guy, but Carlos had never seen him like that. So angry at Kathryn, but incredibly upset at the same time worrying about Jade.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," Carlos mumbled. And to his own horror, saw the tears in her eyes. "Oh, come here, sweetie. I'm so sorry!" He pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms around her torso tightly, squeezing her. Though he did wish he was a bit taller, so this seemed more of a manly comfort thing, but Jade was close to Kendall's height.

"I've technically known you longer than I have anyone else," she murmured sadly into his ear, her arms holding his neck. "That means I care about you more," she added half-jokingly.

He chuckled softly. "Don't let Kendall know that."

Jade pretended she didn't hear that comment. "I wasn't trying to put you down for wanting to escort me to work." She sighed, pulling away from him and getting a good look at his face. "I just feel like I don't even know what's going on, or what to do about all of this. I _don't _know what to do." She shook her head. "Talking to Dustin helped a little last night, but he thinks I should talk to Kendall about what I heard Kathryn say, but…"

"But if you talk to him about it, it shows it upset you, which ultimately, would show him you care for him. I get it." Carlos smiled briefly. "Let's finish making you some coffee, and we'll sit so I can fill you in on some stuff."

The man proceeded to tell her that things _were_ going to be tense on set, but okay, and that it'd be best if the situation wasn't talked about at all. They didn't want the producers to know there was drama between cast members. He also told her that after James left her in the parking lot, he marched right over to Jade's dressing room and, for lack of a better term, went off on Kathryn. Which led to James calling a band meeting at his apartment, to fill the guys in. Carlos, trying to explain it without just flat out telling Jade how ridiculously in love Kendall was with her, let her know that Kendall did take it the hardest, since he was closest to Jade and Kathryn's rant was about him too.

Then it came to telling her that the reason Kendall wasn't the one to come visit her this morning because he wanted to "chat" with Kathryn before Jade got there, so ultimately, Carlos was stalling. The guys didn't want Jade walking in on that conversation and hearing something she didn't need to hear just yet. Carlos _did_ leave out however, that Kendall was ready to beat the living shit out of Kathryn, and it took over an hour to talk him down from it because she was a girl, and there was just no reason to hit a girl, ever. The only way the guys would let Kendall go to set early and talk to the girl, was if he promised to keep calm, keep it civil.

But once Carlos was finished with his spiel, Jade wanted to be taken to work. She told Carlos she didn't care if Kendall was still talking to Kathryn; she promised she just wanted to go sit in Kendall's dressing room and wait for him, which is exactly what she did. Because Carlos was _sort of_ right, in a sense that she really did want to see Kendall.

Carlos walked her to Kendall's dressing room, offering to sit with her until Kendall came back, but she declined the offer, wanting a moment to herself. She just sat timidly on the edge of the messy coffee table and checked the time on her phone: 6:30AM. She sighed. There was a little over an hour left before the long day of filming was scheduled to begin, so she had about 45 minutes before she'd be needed at makeup.

She found herself picking at the material of her sweatpants nervously, and realized she was paranoid. It had been quiet when she and Carlos passed her dressing room. She'd half-expected yelling, but she heard nothing. And she knew she'd seen too many movies and read too many books when the worst possibility popped into her head and she saw Kendall and Kathryn realizing some sort of sexual tension between them, and suddenly acting on it in a rage. And Jade either should've walked in on it, or would find out about it later through someone else, but either way, be heartbroken.

Jade laughed at herself, running a shaky hand through her hair, feeling anger coursing within her at the thoughts. Jealousy. She covered her face with her hands, leaning forward onto her lap. _Deep breaths_. She was just being ridiculous. What Kathryn had said about Kendall was obviously going to her head.

"Jade?"

She jerked upwards, sitting straight again and uncovering her red face. "Kendall." She released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"…Are you okay?" he murmured uncertainly, barely even audible. She felt like that question applied to about ten different things at the moment.

She stood up, taking a step towards him. He was being timid with her; he didn't even know what she would think of him anymore. But she just didn't care for now. She wanted him to hold her, to feel his arms supporting her. But she didn't know how to tell him that. She couldn't. She wanted him to just understand that _she_ didn't even know what she was feeling. She just wanted some kind of relief.

Her breaths came short and sobs were building, but she wouldn't cry. Not anymore.

Jade was standing in front of him now, gazing at him so uncertainly, but then she threw her arms around his neck as if he were trying to leave. At first he didn't respond; he was frozen. He hadn't expected this kind of greeting. Slowly, he slid his arms around her waist, finally giving in as he kissed the side of her head comfortingly and clenched his fists against her back as he held her close. "I'm sorry," he mumbled anxiously into her hair.

She didn't know exactly what he was apologizing for. Just in general because of Kathryn, or because of this "lifestyle" that she apparently knew nothing about? "Y-you don't have a reason to be sorry…" she stammered. _Does he?_

He suddenly gently had a grip on her arms and was pulling her towards the couch. "Come sit with me," he softly pleaded, sinking into his couch and dragging her with him.

She moved to sit next to him, but he had a firm grip on her now and directed her towards his lap. She was taken aback, unsure of how she was supposed to react to that. They'd held hands, kissed each other's faces, flirted, but this… this was new territory. "K-Kendall…" she muttered. They looked at each other, faces closer than either had expected, just few inches between lips. She was so tempted to just do it. To just kiss him. It was the perfect opportunity. She felt him move closer, hands snaking to her waist. His breath tickled her lips, green and yellow-specked eyes boring into hers, gauging her reactions, her movements…

And then she chickened out.

She jerked her head away to look at the door suddenly, swallowing and trying not to pass out. "K-Kendall, what if- what if someone comes in and sees us sitting like this...? They'll think…"

Kendall groaned, letting his head hit the cushion behind him. "I don't _care_ what they think. They can make fucking assumptions, and think whatever the fuck they want. We're two close friends in need of a little comfort and quiet, and frankly, you being right here like this is the only thing in this world right now that could comfort me."

Jade blinked a few times, uncertain as to whether he just called them friends, or confessed fondness towards her. But she just sighed and readjusted herself on his lap so she could curl up and rest her head on his shoulder, placing a hand near the side of his neck, rubbing his skin there soothingly with her thumb. "If you don't care, then I don't care."

Exhaling a deep breath, Kendall let his eyelids slide shut as he doodled soft circles onto Jade's waist with his finger. "Thank you," he whispered. He was glad she stayed with him, curled up on his lap and wrapped in his arms. But he couldn't help but be upset by that almost kiss. He knew he didn't imagine that moment. She had wanted that as much as he did.

But they couldn't be together.

* * *

><p>Production for the day was scheduled to run from 7:30AM to late in the night, or as soon as they finished the second episode. The whole cast thought the crew was insane for wanting to film a whole episode in a day, but they were promised that if they could complete the first three episodes by Friday, they would have a promo day at the studio on Saturday, and then have six days off.<p>

But the day managed to go off without a hitch, Jade even receiving an incredibly sincere apology in the privacy of their dressing room during lunch from Kathryn, who felt the need to eat in there since she wasn't at the top of a lot of people's favorite person list at the moment. Jade, however, was having lunch with James and Logan, hoping to get information out of them.

Jade made it to Logan's dressing room five minutes after their scheduled "date" after having to thoroughly convince Kathryn she was forgiven for everything she said. "You're late, woman!" Logan exclaimed when she walked in.

"Yeah, sorry. Kathryn wouldn't believe that she was forgiven, so, that took a while." Jade plopped down on the floor next to the coffee table and reached across it to grab a slice of pizza.

"So how'd that go?" James asked, his mouth full of cheese and pepperoni.

Jade shrugged. "Fine, I guess. She seemed really sorry, so."

"She's usually not like that," James responded, finally swallowing his food. "I don't know what was stuck up her ass yesterday-"

"Yes you do." Jade just stared at James, setting her barely eaten pizza down. She averted her glare to Logan. "_I'm_ the one who doesn't know what was stuck up her ass, and you _know_ I can't talk to Kendall about it."

"Why is that again?" Logan looked at her stupidly.

"If I ask him, and it's bad, I'll end up getting upset in front of him which will basically give away whatever these feelings are that I have for him!"

Logan kept on with the same expression. "And why is that a bad thing?"

Jade sighed. "We can't date, and you know, who knows if he even likes me-" the guys both groaned. "Like that." She was trying to forget that almost-kiss from the morning earlier. She was sure she'd imagined the tension and spark…

"Jade, we don't feel right telling you…" James watched her uneasily as she groaned and lay back on the floor.

"You do realize that I can go up to anyone that's known him longer than I have and ask, and they'd probably tell me?" Jade looked pointedly at Logan, knowing him and his big mouth would be the first to spill. "Please don't make me resort to that."

Logan caved. "Alright woman, but you didn't hear from me. You heard from some random crew member or some shit like that. Got it?"

Jade sat up, clasping her hands together anxiously. "Got it!"

"Stop acting so fuckin' excited," Logan rolled his eyes. "I know you're not gonna like it." Jade's heart sank.

"If you're really going to spill this to her," James cut in. "I'd better do it. You have no regard for human emotion." He gave his friend a distasteful glare, before returning his eyes nervously to Jade. "I guess you could say Kendall's never exactly been in a real relationship."

"Well neither have I!" _If _that's _the news, then phew!_

"No, no," James looked down. "You've never had a boyfriend because it just hasn't happened for you," he grimaced at his own word choice. "Sorry," he mumbled. She just shrugged uncomfortably. "Kendall's never had a girlfriend because, well, because he never _wanted_ one."

Jade furrowed her eyebrows, not exactly following what her friend was saying.

Logan let out a frustrated sigh, obviously annoyed both that James wasn't just getting to the point, and that Jade wasn't catching on. "He's a one-night stand kinda guy. The longest he's kept a girl around is, I don't know, three days?" Logan shrugged. "He just fucks 'em and is done with 'em."

Jade's breath caught in her throat, and she seriously thought she was choking for a moment before James slapped the back of Logan's head harder than she'd ever seen someone get slapped, and nearly screamed at the raven-haired man, "Damn it, Logan! That's exactly why you needed to keep your fucking mouth shut!" Not missing a beat, James was on the floor next to Jade, taking her hands in his and trying to get her to look at him. "Jade, Jade, _was_. Kendall _was_ a one-night stand kind of guy. _Was_!" he emphasized over and over.

Jade couldn't find her voice, so she just shook her head, looking at James with wide eyes. James panicked, trying to conjure up the right words to say. He and the guys had been doing everything they could to not ever straight up tell Jade how Kendall feels about her; it wouldn't be fair to Kendall. But James was _stumped_ on how to prove to this girl that Kendall had changed without just _telling_ her why he had changed. He chose his next words carefully, speaking slowly as to not say the wrong thing. "Kendall hasn't slept with a girl in over two months…"

Logan literally could not control his mouth. "Which is a fuckin' record-"

"_Stop. Talking,"_ James hissed, wishing he had something heavy to chunk at Logan's head. Then he sighed. "Unfortunately, Mr. No-Filter over here is right. It sort of _is_ a record, Jade."

"I just-" Jade felt like she was going to throw up. "I don't even know how I'm supposed to take this information," she whispered, releasing one of James' hands and pressing her fingers to her lips anxiously, shaking her head. She'd promised herself just this morning that she wouldn't cry anymore. This was _not_ helping.

"Jade, see, that's exactly all this is." James got a good grip on her hands again, squeezing them reassuringly. He'd found his footing with this thoughts again. "It's just _information_. It's his _past_."

"It's just hard to picture him being that kind of guy, I guess." She was still whispering, unable to make herself do anything else.

"He's still the same Kendall you've grown to know and love, I _swear_. I know it's weird, I know it's hard, but you can't let it change how you see him." Jade was wide-eyed again, staring at him, panic and confusion written all over her face. "You just _can't_, Jade."

After that, Jade thought the day would never end. She hated putting on this façade for people; pretending that she was okay. She thought she was doing a fairly decent job though at hiding her true emotions from everyone around her, though Kendall seemed to see right through her. He didn't say anything, but she'd catch him watching her curiously, as if he was trying to figure out what was going on.

Finally at 9:00PM, the work day was done, and the set was shut down. Episode two was complete. Scott let the cast know that filming didn't begin until noon the next day for episode three, and would be done at six. Jade bolted for her dressing room as soon as they were free to leave, hoping to avoid Kendall, and everyone else for that matter. She just wanted to sleep on it. But when she got to her room, Kathryn was already in there. "You were so good today, Jade!" she complimented. Jade couldn't tell if she was being sincere, or just sucking up.

"Thanks, you were great, too," Jade responded as enthusiastically as she could muster, and it didn't sound convincing. She felt extra sludgy due to her literally eating two bites of pizza for lunch, losing her appetite after her discussion with James and Logan.

Almost as if Kathryn could read her mind, she said, "Logan had some pizza delivered for you not too long ago. It's on your vanity." She motioned towards their personal makeup area. "He dropped by for like, point two seconds to tell me it was coming, and to get me to leave a note with it for him. He said you didn't really eat lunch, and he felt really bad."

Jade raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Wow…"

"And I swear I didn't read the note," Kathryn smiled shyly. She hesitated before her next words. "They all seem to really like you and care about you. I'm sorry I was so quick to judge."

Jade smiled. "Would you stop apologizing? I told you I forgave you." She laughed a bit.

"Thanks." With that, Kathryn bid farewell, and left Jade alone.

Jade curiously picked up the note taped to the pizza box left on her vanity. Unfolding it revealed Logan's surprisingly neat handwriting. '_Hope this makes up for the lunch you didn't really get to have today. And I'm sorry for being such an insensitive asshole. Forgive me? (: -Logan' _Jade smiled. That was sweet. She whipped out her phone to send him a quick thank you, and gathered her things rather frantically as she remembered she had been trying to escape before she went in there.

She was halfway to her car with her purse and pizza when she heard footsteps running towards her from behind, trying to catch up. "Jade!" he exclaimed.

She squeezed her eyes shut. _So close_. "Hey… Kendall!"

He was next to her now, smiling down at her with his flawless lips, and teeth, and dimples. "Ya wanna come over and watch a movie or something?"

She bit the inside of her cheek. She knew James was right; this was the same old Kendall she'd met a few months ago. She hated to turn him down, but she really needed time to herself to just think about everything. "I-…I'd better not," she replied sadly. "I haven't eaten all day." She held up the full pizza box. "And I think I'm just gonna hit the sack as soon as I devour this." Kendall frowned, looking genuinely sad that she didn't want to join him. "Raincheck?" she suggested, hoping it would make him feel better.

He smiled softly. "Sure." He placed a quick kiss to her cheek, dangerously close to the corner of her mouth. "Well I'll, uh, see ya tomorrow…" He awkwardly stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets and walked away to his car.

Jade considered just falling out right there and letting the universe have its way with her. She could not seem to handle being around Kendall anymore; it was killing her holding in all these feelings, not acting on them.

It wasn't until the next day, when they began working on episode three that Jade remembered something important, something that was going to send her body and mind into overdrive, no doubt.

On Friday she'd have to kiss Kendall.

When Jade arrived wide awake and nervous on set Friday afternoon, it was all she could think about. She only had two scenes left to film; one girls scene, and the kissing scene with Kendall.

The girls scene blew by with ease, not taking long at all. But to Jade's utter horror, the kissing scene was staring her in the face, and all she knew was she was not ready for it. If she could have been kissing _anyone_ else in the cast, _anyone_, she'd be okay. But it was Kendall, and just thinking about it made her heart want to explode. What was this going to do to her? Would it help subside her feelings some? _Or will it just make him that much more irresistible?_

Their characters were to hold a lengthy, fairly tense conversation before they got to the sucking face part, and filming that took a while in itself, because the conversation lasted a little over five minutes, and they got at least five angles.

And then it was time for the part that neither knew whether they were dreading, or looking forward to.

Jade was instructed to, basically, rush him and kiss him, then say "See you later" as seductively as you can on a children's show, wink, and walk off camera.

The two had to jump right into the shot, cutting right to the action. Jade's stomach turned somersaults as she practically lunged at him, and he ended up meeting her halfway as they both leaned in for the kill, lips meeting for only one, maybe two seconds. _That wasn't so bad_. It was like she hadn't even felt his lips or anything. "See ya later." Jade winked, but was stopped before she could walk out of the frame.

"You call that a kiss?" Scott scolded. "No, I don't want a peck. Kiss each other like you mean it. Jade, grab the back of his head mid-kiss, we'll tell you when to break it, and when you do, pull away just enough to smile and say "See you later", peck his lips again, smile again, then let go of him and waltz away like you own the place, while Kendall is frozen in place pretty much looking like an idiot. Got it?"

"Got it, Scott." She nodded, taking a discreet deep breath. _I can do this_. _It's just acting_.

"And _please_ have a little lip action of sorts. I don't know why you two seem so dull today."

Jade felt her cheeks flush with heat, and looked over to see Kendall's face had turned red too. She mentally sighed. _It's just acting. It's just acting._ They were quickly called to action and before Jade even had a chance to process what was happening, her favorite arms were wrapped securely around her waist, and what would soon become her favorite lips were sucking longingly on her own, searching for some kind of dominance in the kiss. Jade knew in the back of her mind that she was supposed to grab the back of his head, but instinct had her caressing his face first, sliding her hand across his skin and hair before she actually did what they had asked of her. Jade's stomach erupted with butterflies; she had never felt this intensely about someone before, not even Chad.

It was time for her to break the kiss, and when she pulled back from him, she thought at first that Kendall wasn't even going to let her go. But reluctantly, he did, and she realized he was breathless. "See ya later," she murmured seductively, moving in for one more quick kiss, and gave him a cute wink, and walked off frame.

"Perfect!" Scott exclaimed. "That was absolutely perfect, kids. So believable! Good job!" Jade was just trying not to go weak in the knees, or puke. "Now let's roll it just like that at least twice more!"

Jade was proud of herself at the end of the day for making it through the kissing scene without fainting, but she felt scarred for life. It was already ridiculously hard for her to resist kissing him every other moment she was with him, but now she knew what it _felt_ like, and she didn't know how she would ever escape that memory, that _feeling_.

To her slight disappointment, Kendall didn't come find her at the end of the day. He didn't text, didn't call. Eventually Jade had to remind herself that they weren't actually in a relationship and he wasn't required to talk to her; it was just their characters that were together, _and kissing_…

But then the next day, at the promo photoshoot, Kendall hardly said a word to her. He interacted like nothing was wrong when they had to take lovey-dovey shots, holding each other, eskimo kissing, but once they were alone or waiting for a new shot, he was different.

And that's how the next week went, much to Jade's dismay. They had seven days off, for the most part. Jade still had to go to an acting coach, which she found rather insulting considering she had already filmed three episodes, but there was nothing she could do about it. She didn't like her coach though, and he didn't seem to care for her either. Their sessions were dull, and pointless.

But her classes were just in the morning, so she had pretty much whole days to do anything, and she saw Kendall a total of two times. He barely texted her anymore, and when she'd tried to suggest a movie night, because she wanted to "cash in" her raincheck, he said he had other plans. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he hadn't done it three times. She just missed him.

It was the cast's last day off, Saturday, and Jade had to be up early yet again to go see her acting coach at the practice studio. Jade always felt awkward in the practice room, because it was actually an old dance studio, with the wall-length mirrors, and ballet bars to match. She didn't understand the point of having training in there, but it's not like she controlled it.

She was surprised to find no one at the studio when she walked in. Her coach was _always_ there early. _Always_. He made it a point to after Jade expressed how she hated showing up last anywhere. That was just one of the many reasons she disliked the man. She dropped her keys and wallet on the floor just inside the door and walked into the rather small room. She sighed, watching herself in the mirror before she just plopped down in the middle of the wood floor, tired and anxious.

Suddenly she heard the door open and she sighed. "Finally!" she exclaimed. "And here I thought you were always early just to spite me-" Jade stopped short. The man that had just walked in wasn't her asshole acting coach. "K-Kendall?"

He approached her almost nervously, dressed in sweats, Vans, and an Incubus t-shirt, and obviously had not brushed his hair yet, but he still looked incredible. He held out a hand for Jade to take and stand up. "I uh…" He licked his lips timidly, not able to resist staring at her mouth. "I'm your acting coach now…"

Jade groaned. "Did that dude seriously _quit_ on me?!" She rolled her eyes. "Pussy."

Kendall chuckled, surprised by her word choice. "He just didn't know how to handle you," he murmured jokingly, his signature smirk settling on his face.

"Oh, and you do?" Jade challenged.

He grinned. "I'd like to think so."

Jade didn't know why she felt relieved when he said that.

Kendall started her off with simple vocal exercises, to help when it comes to breathing and projecting. Then they played a couple of games that would be used as icebreakers for big groups. And after a while, things began to feel normal again between the two. They were talking, laughing, and veering off topic quite a bit. Nothing seemed wrong anymore.

Once they were done with their games, Kendall wanted to try out an activity his brother had learned at some kind of convention or camp that's supposed to help acting partners. They were to sit on the floor with their backs together, and just start reciting lines. "I don't know," Kendall said before they started. "This is kind of a beginning exercise. The more effective one, which we'll do next time probably, we'd both wear a blindfold, and have to actually try and interact. It's kinda fun, not gonna lie."

After having their fun with the back-to-back activity, they decided to begin working on facial expressions, which seemed to be what Jade was struggling with the most.

"I don't know, Kendall," Jade sighed, frustrated with herself. "I just don't think I can make my face have such wild expressions like you all do. I'm better with serious roles."

"Okay, first, you've just got to relax." Kendall rested his long fingers on Jade's shoulders, moving close enough for her to feel his light breath on her face. "You're overthinking this, sweetheart. You're nervous, and have no reason to be." _Pet names are back in check._

She took a deep breath. He was too close. "I have every reason to be nervous."

Kendall didn't take the hint that she wasn't talking about the show anymore. He shook his head, and murmured. "No you don't. Relax, and _feel _your character." He stared into her eyes and felt her shoulders fall as the tension left them. "Now try it again with your line." And though he said that, his voice was a whisper and his face was much closer than it had been a few seconds before.

His lips parted slightly, and he let out a slow, warm breath against hers. Jade's insides tingled with desire and the swarm of butterflies was back, intruding her stomach with their fluttering wings. And that was enough to make Jade close the distance between them and attach her mouth to his.

Kendall almost pushed her away in pure shock, but then realized what was happening, and quickly tried to take control, his fingers creeping to her neck and grabbing her waist. But as quickly as it had happened, it was over, and Jade was more flustered and jittery than he was. "I-I'm sorry," she muttered. "I was j-just… getting into character…" She was slowly backing away from him. "I should really-… just go."

She cleared her throat and rushed out of the room, leaving Kendall with only the word "Whoa" escaping his lips, otherwise rendered speechless.


	8. I Know You Know

**8 – I Know You Know **- _"We could be onto something so good… tell me that you're mine." – Big Time Rush (I Know You Know)_

Kendall was pacing back and forth. "I told her to just feel her character or whatever. And then she just really relaxed out of nowhere but damn it, after those fucking set kisses…" He grabbed his head, tugging on his hair anxiously. "I avoided her all week because I was just freaking out, and anytime I got near her I just wanted to-… I just wanted to…"

"Kiss her again?" James raised his eyebrows expectantly as he crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the ballet bars and patiently watching his friend's current meltdown. Kendall hadn't even bothered to leave the practice studio before he frantically called James, needing to talk to someone immediately.

"_Yes_!" Kendall groaned, throwing his hands up in the air, still pacing. "A kiss. _Kiss_. I'm fucking Kendall Schmidt! Since when do I lose my shit over _kissing_?"

"Um, since Jade came along," James chirped matter-of-factly.

Kendall shot him a look to let him know he wasn't helping. "_Anyways_." He scoffed. "My hands were on her shoulders and she just seemed to relax under my touch, and-…" He stopped pacing and his tone softened. "She just looked so… _pretty_ standing there so relaxed, but so nervous at the same time. I literally do not know how to control myself, James; I've never had to before." He sighed. "I just started moving in, and then out of nowhere _she kissed me_!"

James jumped up from his relaxed position in surprise. "_She_ kissed _you_?!"

"Yes! The shock nearly knocked me out and my heart is_ still_ beating out of my chest! Now you see my problem!?"

James hesitated. "Problem? Isn't this a good thing…"

"James, we were doing acting exercises and running lines! She said she was just getting into character!" Kendall was pulling on his hair again.

"_Dude_," James groaned. Was he really friends with such clueless people? "You weren't rehearsing a kissing scene! That should be your answer, right there."

"Yeah…." Kendall clenched his teeth. "But it was so confusing! She kisses me, I kiss her back, she pulls away, tells me she was just feeling her character, then before I can get a word out she runs off."

"Kendall she's a _girl_. Have you never dated a girl before?" James asked half-jokingly.

"I mean is that a joke, or…?" Kendall looked at his friend stupidly.

"Listen." James sighed and sat forward. "She's been here a few weeks, right? Well I know her pretty well; we're pretty tight." Kendall nodded. "_Jade_ kissed _you._ She just freaked out, because she made the first move, and automatically assumed you didn't want or like that. She's not a _make the first move_ kinda girl. End of story." James shrugged.

Kendall furrowed his eyebrows and made a face of confusion. He knew she wasn't one to make the first move from everything she had told him about Chad, which is one of the reasons _why _he was so damn confused. "How could she _not_ think I wanted that!?" he yelled. "James I was all over her!"

James shrugged and laughed. "Dear friend of mine, how many times am I gonna have to say this? She's a _girl_. Better yet, she's _Jade_."

"I'm not even sure I know what that means anymore." Kendall glared at James, pouting slightly.

"It _means_…" James stood up. "It's time for _you_ to make _your_ move. Once _you_ make a move on _her_, you've got yourself a relationship!"

Kendall jumped up too, ideas pouring into his head. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"…you want to go to the beach with Leslie?" James looked up in thought.

"No! It's song time." Kendall nodded when James looked at him with a smile. "Get the guys! We'll meet at your apartment ASAP?"

"Yes!" James threw a fist in the air and ran out.

Kendall found himself pacing back and forth again before he headed for James', words and feelings buzzing around his mind and body, desperately wanting to be written on paper in the form of a song. He smiled as he grabbed his keys and walked out the door, singing softly _You know you got my heart thumpin'…_

* * *

><p>Jade threw herself through the front door of her apartment, shutting it quickly as if she was being followed, and pressed her back to it. She still couldn't believe it. <em>She had kissed Kendall<em>. She had literally lost control of her emotions and actions, and just flat out kissed him.

She hadn't calmed at all during the fifteen minute drive back to her apartment, and now that she didn't have to focus on not killing herself, the realization was really hitting her, and the memory all too vivid. Her heart rate picked up and her breaths came shorter. She could still feel his hands on her skin, and his lips working so perfectly with hers.

She couldn't deny that he had kissed her back, because he did. But as he kissed her, that annoying paranoid feeling began nagging her again. She hadn't forgotten that Kendall's usual style was to hook up with random girls. And then she suddenly felt like he was only kissing her because that was just how he rolled, not because he had feelings for her.

"Jade…" Jade hadn't even seen Leslie walk up to her uncertainly, dipping her head to get a good look at her face.

Jade looked her best friend in the eyes, shock still emanating from her face and body. "I kissed him."

Leslie made a face. "Yeah, Jade. That was like a week ago. I thought you were getting over that."

"No, Leslie. I _just_ kissed him."

Leslie grasped her friend's arms. "THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE RIGHT NOW?!"

Jade looked around nervously. "Because I ran away?"

Leslie groaned, dragging Jade into their living room. "Tell me _everything_!"

* * *

><p>"I like that," Logan said. "But dude, she doesn't actually <em>know<em> she affects you, so what if you said _you know I got your heart thumpin' _or something?"

"I like 'em both. Put both in, and it can be the chorus," James added.

"Yeah," Carlos agreed. "But if we're going to try and hand this in for the show, it's gonna have to be a little catchier…" He thought for a minute, then sang, "_I know you know you got my heart thumpin', I know you know…_ it needs something else right there!"

"No but that's awesome." Kendall nodded, pressing the pen in his hand to his lip in deep thought. This hadn't been exactly the direction he wanted the song to take, but they were trying to kind of kill two birds with one stone, and Carlos was right: if the producers wanted to use it on the show, it'd have to be upbeat and catchy.

"Okay, tell us about her, Kendall," James said, leaning forward in his seat. "We need to know how you feel to get farther on this song."

Kendall took a deep breath, and started by telling Logan and Carlos the story of what had happened earlier that day with Jade.

Carlos laughed mid-story. "Did you use that line to get to her?"

"What?" Kendall looked at Carlos crazily. "The feel your character thing? No, I was genuinely trying to help her with acting." Carlos scoffed; there was still a slight tension between the two over the subject of Jade.

"But it _did_ spark something in her…" Logan trailed off, furrowing his eyebrows. "_Maybe this could be the line that starts the whole story…"_

Kendall sat up straighter as words just flowed out of his mouth. "_Maybe you could be the one… who is meant for me..." _They all looked at him with raised eyebrows. He opened his mouth like he was going to speak but instead raised his shoulders in a shrug.

"Are you that serious about her, man?" Carlos asked.

Kendall looked down. "It's been obvious from the beginning that this is different. And literally the only reason I can come up with for her changing me like this is that she's meant to be in my life, she's meant for me…" He sighed. He knew he sounded ridiculous, but the guys seemed to actually be hanging on to every word he was saying. "We've got something, together. I think we're on to something good, _great_, even. I just… I mean… is it all too fast? I wouldn't know, I've never done this before. She's been here a month… I keep thinking maybe, _maybe_ I should wait, especially with this stupid rule at work." He shook his head; he couldn't stop rambling. "But it's _so hard_ to hold back!" A determined look crossed his face. "And- and I just don't care about the stupid rule anymore. I _tried_ to follow it, I really did. But I can't _not_ be with her, guys."

While James and Carlos watched their friend thoughtfully, Logan laughed. "I don't think I've ever heard you talk so fuckin' much about your feelings, Kendall," he chuckled.

"This really isn't like you…" James added.

"Okay, back to the song!" Kendall made a face at all of them, but couldn't help but smile as he wrote some words down on his pad of paper. "Okay, so going back to the _I know you know_ part… we have what Carlos said, and you said something else needed to go in the middle, right?" Carlos nodded, thinking about it, but Kendall came up with something first. "_I know you know we know we got something."_

"Yes!" James and Logan shouted in unison, while Carlos nodded proudly. Then they all started singing, while Kendall kept writing. "_I know you know I got your heart thumpin', I know you know we know we got something.."_

Without really thinking about it, Kendall continued, using the little notes he'd just written down. "_We could be onto something so good… tell me that you're mine. I know you know you got my heart thumpin', I know you know we know we got something." _The other three cheered and Carlos and Logan bumped fists.

It didn't take long for the rest of the song to fall into place, and before they knew it, they were rushing to Kendall's house, which he earned punches to the arm for suggesting going to James' when Kendall had a whole miniature studio, to record sort of a demo. They wanted to bring it straight to one of their producers to put some finishing touches on it, but Kendall insisted it get done today. He had to make his move today.

"You know what's kind of ironic?" James asked as Kendall walked his three friends outside, a few copies of the completed song in their hands.

"What?" the others asked.

"If the company actually accepts this song, which I feel like they actually might, it'll be used with Jade's character." James smirked.

"Well then that would just be incredibly convenient, wouldn't it?" Kendall smiled. "But I'm using it on actual _Jade_… tonight!"

"You're making your move _tonight?" _Carlos looked at Kendall with a surprised expression, then pushed his arm playfully. "What's your game plan?"

"I will tell you… after I put it into action." Kendall pretended to pop his collar, earning a laugh from the other three, and they all bid him farewell, and good luck.

Kendall went straight inside and showered, trying to look as fresh as possible for what he was about to do. Once he picked out the perfect jeans, Vans, and a button down shirt to show a little of his chest, he then proceeded to spray himself lightly with cologne, some that Jade had seemed to like before, trying not to overdo it. He wasn't much for cologne, anyways.

He made sure to grab the CD with the demo song on it, along with his wallet and keys, on his way out the door, and hoped to God Jade was home, and that he knew her like he was sure he did.

With Jade living a mere five minutes away from Kendall, he was not mentally prepared yet by the time he reached her apartment building. He sat in his car, hands clenching the steering wheel tightly. He took a deep breath and murmured to himself, "You can do this Kendall. It's not that big of a deal… oh who the hell am I kidding, this is a _huge_ deal!" He looked around, startled as he realized he had yelled that last part. He looked outside, finding it hard to believe it was already getting so late. He and the guys had worked on the song for _hours_.

He closed his eyes and took one last deep breath, and when he opened them and stepped out of his car, he knew he was as ready as he'd ever be.

Jade heard a knock on her door. She groaned. She had been sitting around miserably all day after her incident with Kendall, and she really didn't feel like socializing at this moment, especially after getting scolded by Leslie for an eternity. Luckily, Leslie had decided to go for a jog, then come back in and crash in her bedroom.

But Jade got up anyways, and trudged over to the door, not even checking to see who it was before she opened it. "Hi beautiful." Jade's eyes widened. She almost stopped breathing at the sight of Kendall; at how _attractive _he looked. "I, um, uh, you wanna… come in?" Jade stammered, mesmerized.

"Actually," he said. "I can't stay."

"Oh."

"It's just, we've got last minute rehearsal at the studio—there's a show coming up soon, and well, I just wanted to see you before I headed that way, to be honest..." He looked down.

She looked at him curiously, but mentally shrugged off his outfit. Jade bit her lip. "Listen, I'm sorry about earlier… I-"

"I'm not." Kendall raised his eyebrows, and she just stared at him. "But look, I've really gotta get going. Here…" He handed her the CD. "Listen to this when I leave, please?"

"Wha-?"

"I think it'll explain some things. Just… listen to it for me, okay?"

Jade nodded. "Yeah, yeah, of course."

"Good. So I'll uh, see ya later." Kendall smiled that dorky, yet charming smile of his and turned to leave.

"Yeah, see you later..." Jade did not understand what had just happened. Kendall was being completely neutral about the situation she had put them in earlier; not too happy, not too awkward or upset.

Once she snapped out of her thoughts, she went straight to the next room over and grabbed her laptop, inserting the CD Kendall had just given her into it. When iTunes pulled up and she clicked play, she just smiled. She turned the song up louder and leaned back as she listened to the rough, but beautiful voices, and the soft acoustic guitar.

_I know that I should wait, but what if you're my soul mate? I'll slow down when you say slow down… _Jade couldn't believe it. Had they just recorded this song today? She blushed, even though no one was there to see it, as the second verse began._ You know this ain't me at all; I'm usually lost for words. You know I can't help but fall, I've never felt so sure. _It was Carlos' voice, but the only image filling Jade's mind was Kendall's. It was like she could feel him all around her, smothering her in the best way possible with his adoration. And suddenly it was like everything was clicking into place in Jade's mind.

Left playing and on repeat, Jade jumped up without even finishing the song. She set her laptop down, grabbed her purse and keys, and swung the front door open, only to find Kendall standing there with a hopeful look on his face, and a rose in his hand.

Jade gasped softly, taking the flower from him in a daze. Then she smiled, dropping all belongings in her hands on the floor as Kendall gently grabbed her face and lured her into a deep kiss. She pressed her body against his even though she could feel him pulling out of it, but the way he looked at her was almost as rewarding as the kiss.

Still holding her face, he led her inside a few more steps and kicked the door shut with his foot, never breaking his gaze into her eyes. When he suddenly found himself kissing her again, unable to resist, it was she that pulled away this time. "I really really hope the last minute rehearsal thing was just a ploy-"

"Oh, it was." Kendall's lips grazed hers, just dying to make full contact again. He felt her fingers against his skin as she played with the highest fastened button on his shirt, and it sent a chill through him. His hands clung to her hips as he pulled her body against his, earning a light gasp from her.

"Feel free to kiss me again anytime now…" she whispered into his lips, slowly wrapping her hands around his neck, just as in need for contact as he was.

She stood on her tip-toes to make herself more level with his face as he smiled, slowly, earnestly pressing his lips against hers. Jade literally saw sparks behind her eyelids and they both knew this should've been their first kiss as their grips tightened around one another, not wanting to let go for a long time.

But then after a moment, he kissed the corner of her mouth, then her cheek, his lips ghosting across her skin as he planted a trail of longing kisses to her neck, his fingers finding the skin under her shirt and sending a chill up her spine. But Jade panicked, feeling his whole presence change. He went from loving to lusting in a matter of seconds, and all she could think about was how she wasn't ready for something like this. He hadn't even tried to make out with her before he just skipped to getting down and dirty. He hadn't even _asked her out _yet. She didn't even know if she _loved_ him yet. And she wasn't like the girls he was used to.

It took Jade the time Kendall used to push her towards the couch to finally react. She fumbled to push his hands away from her, and stammered, "S-stop." When he didn't, she pushed him away from her more forcefully. "Kendall."

She looked away from him, hurt but embarrassed, and in her peripheral view she saw his face fall from hungry and breathless, to wide-eyed and apologetic. "Jade, I-"

She shook her head, still not wanting to look at him. "I'm not that kind of girl, Kendall," she whispered, frustrated, sure this would result in her losing him.

He tried to grab her hands but she pulled away, taking a step back. "Jade…" His tone was pleading with her.

It took a moment for her to find her voice. She took a deep breath, and finally looked back at him, her face red, flooded with emotion. "If that's all you're looking for out of this, then you can count me out." She sounded much angrier than she thought she would. "I thought maybe you were looking to turn over a new leaf or something. I thought you- you wanted a relationship with me, not what you're used to…"

Kendall stopped short. _Someone told her_. He hadn't planned on keeping his past with women a secret from her forever. It was just that once Kathryn mouthed off about him, and Jade didn't seem to think differently of him, he sort of figured Jade hadn't understood, that she didn't know. Then he was trying to figure out a time to sit her down and talk with her about it, but the set kiss happened, and he couldn't even bring himself to be around her. But now she knew. And her saying that to him, assuming that he didn't want a relationship with her, was like a slap in the face. "Stop," he whispered, still frozen where he was.

Jade scrunched her face in frustration, trying to keep herself from crying. "No, Kendall. I've never even had a boyfriend before. I've been kissed _once_. You _know_ that. I'm sorry I'm not that _experienced, _but, but… I have… _morals._" She cringed at her use of that word. She felt so old-school saying it, and half expected him to take off running at the idea of it.

Kendall slowly took a seat on the edge of the couch. "Please stop," he whispered again.

Her tone softened. "Did you really think I was going to just _give it up_ this early-" she cut herself off. "You haven't even actually asked me out yet!"

"Jade!" Kendall yelled and jumped up, grasping her arms gently, but firmly, so she couldn't turn away from him. "_Please_ let me talk." He was aggravated now. Jade just exhaled shakily, looking into his determined green eyes. "Jade…" He laughed humorlessly. "I lost control, and I'm _sorry_. And you're right; this thing that I have with you? I'm not used to it. I can admit that. But I can also admit that you mean the _world_ to me. I _do_ want to turn over a new leaf with you; I already have!" He sighed. "I haven't been with anyone since I met you, darling. Nothing but the idea of being with you felt right."

He moved his hands from her arms to cradle her face gently, and she closed her eyes, sighing. He could see she was sorry already for her accusations, and he couldn't help but automatically forgive her. "You're gonna have to be patient with me, baby," he murmured pleadingly.

Jade melted. That was the first time he had used an actual, boyfriend/girlfriend pet name for her. Normally, she'd hate that particular one, but coming from Kendall? It didn't sound so bad. "Isn't it you that'll have to be patient with me?" She opened her eyes and shook her head, uncertainty settling over her.

He smiled softly, resting his forehead against hers. "That's why we're in this together. That is… if you'll have me as your boyfriend." His smile grew wider as he watched her eyes light up.

She slid her arms around his torso since he was still holding her face, and returned the grin. "Of course I will." She leaned up to kiss him softly. "I'm sorry," she added with a whisper.

He shook his head. "Don't worry about it." He moved away from her. "Now come sit with me… _girlfriend._" He grinned, sitting back down and pulling her to sit on his lap, this time without reluctance from Jade.

She giggled, blushing at his use of the word, wrapped an arm loosely around his neck to hold herself in place and kissed his cheek, staying near his face as she spoke to him. "I really mean the world to you?" she questioned softly. He turned so they were nose to nose and just nodded. "Good." She smiled and pecked his mouth. "But you completely ruined that perfect kiss you know…" she whispered against his lips.

He just laughed and stroked her hair. "Maybe we can try again?" He raised his eyebrows and leaned in, letting the moment build, before he slowly pressed his lips against hers, trying to remember exactly what he did the first time. But it was enough to make Jade see fireworks again and become weak in the knees, although thankfully, she was sitting down so Kendall would never know.

She pulled away from him, eyes alight with adoration. "How long?"

For a moment, Kendall furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, not understanding what she was asking. But then he smiled and placed a soft kiss to her ear, beginning to slowly shower her face with kisses as he spoke, careful to keep them short and sweet so she wouldn't get the wrong idea. "How long… have I known I wanted you to be mine…?" He let out a soft sound of contentment against her skin, still continuing to make contact with his lips to every inch he could reach. "Since I met you…"

She tried to look at him, but he used his nose to softly nudge her face away. She giggled shyly, color flushing her cheeks as his lips traced her jawline, his breath tickling her skin and sending a cold fire through her veins. "How long…" he continued, planting a kiss closer to her neck. Jade did what she could not to shudder. "Have I wanted to kiss you…?" He buried his face in the crook of her neck and smiled, placing a quick kiss there. She rested her hand on the back of his head, tapping it with her index finger, wanting him to continue. He raised back up, a wide grin still plastered on his face. She turned her head to look at him again, and this time he let her, nuzzling his nose against hers as he whispered, "Since you hid me from those fangirls… and we were in that tight space. Took all I had not to kiss you…"

Jade smiled at the memory and, hand still holding the back of his head, pulled him to meet her lips. "You don't have to worry about that now, do you?"

He chuckled. "Mm, what about you?" he murmured into her mouth.

Her face turned bright red at the thought of telling him because one, she apparently had started to want him later than he had her, and two, how was she supposed to top Kendall Schmidt on the cuteness scale with her answer? She felt so stiff and awkward at just the thought of kissing all over him like he'd already done to her. "Um…" She giggled nervously, and he took initiative to start kissing her again, softly and sweetly, encouraging her. She ran her hand through his hair, causing him to part from her and close his eyes to her touch for a moment. When he opened them, she was gazing at him lovingly with the slightest smile. She looked amazed.

She continued to brush her fingers through his hair as she finally spoke. "It was sort of later for me… but you can blame that on me being in disbelief and trying really hard to not…" She searched for the right term, but only ended up with, "Want you." He smirked, but it quickly faded to a content smile as he relished in the feeling of her softly tangling her hand through his hair over and over again. "I knew I wanted to be with you after we rode the Dungeon Drop, and you didn't let go of my hand at first…" They both smiled, remembering. "I didn't want you to let go." Kendall didn't break his gaze from her as he blindly laced his fingers through her free hand dangling off of his shoulder. "I wanted to kiss you when we were riding the Tilt-a-Whirl. I actually thought you would…"

"I almost did," Kendall sighed. "God knows I was dying to, but you didn't seem like the kinda girl that kisses on the first date."

"First date?" He just nodded smugly in response, his face hovering closer to hers. She found herself kissing his face instinctively, even though she had just been thinking about how awkward she would feel doing it. She reached his chin first, then his nose, and bottom lip. "I guess I'm just full of surprises, huh?" she breathed out, marveling in her own actions.

He leaned his head back against the couch. "You do seem to keep me guessing," he murmured sweetly, admiring the way her eyes seemed to smile at him from his words. In the back of his mind, he was rather astonished that he would now be saying that he was in a relationship, that for the first time ever, he was a taken man. But he couldn't lie; it felt good.

She rested her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight against him and taking a deep breath. "What do you say you cash in that raincheck now and we have a movie night?" he asked after a few moments of peaceful silence.

"I'd like that," she responded with a nod and picked up her head. "But we'll have to move to my room. DVD player in here is broken."

"How'd that manage to happen?" Kendall smirked as she took his hand to pull him off the couch.

"I have the worst luck with electronics." Jade laughed, leading the way to her bedroom. She forgot she had left his song for her on repeat when she ran after him, and smiled when she heard it again. "Thank you for this." She smiled up at Kendall. "It's the sweetest thing anyone could ever do for me. But you know… I didn't even finish listening to it…" She bit her lip nervously.

Kendall chuckled and plopped down on her bed, turning her laptop towards him to start the song over. Once he did, Jade voluntarily made the move to sit on his lap this time, and they wrapped their arms around each other to listen. After just a few seconds, Kendall stuck his face in the crook of her neck, softly grazing her skin with his nose and breathing deeply. She felt his skin grow warmer and, realizing he was blushing, she knew he was hiding from her. This song was his feelings laid out on the line and he wasn't used to something like that.

She knew this could end up being a bumpy road for the two of them, but as long as they were both trying, she couldn't ask for much more than that.

* * *

><p>Jade awoke with a start, feeling a body flinch against hers, but not stir. The sun was beating down on her back through her bedroom window and she mentally groaned, knowing it'd prevent her from going back to sleep. She rubbed her eyes with her free hand, then let it fall back to her holder's chest. Her eyes settled on Kendall's face and she sighed happily. Last night had been so simple. After the arguing part of course. He didn't try to put anymore moves on her; they literally just talked in each other's embrace until they fell asleep.<p>

She lazily reached back for her phone on the bedside table to check the time. _7:00AM._ "Ugh." she frowned and shook Kendall's shoulder lightly.

"Hmm?" He didn't open his eyes.

"What time do you have to be on set?" Jade asked softly.

Still with his eyes closed, and barely audible, Kendall murmured, "7:30."

"Well in that case, uh…" Jade raised her eyebrows, knowing she needed to fully wake him.

"What time is it?" his words were slurred.

"6:59..."

Kendall's eyes shot open and it took him a moment to become reoriented. He sat up in a swift movement, nearly knocking Jade away from him, but he caught on to her arm. "I'm so sorry." He laughed as he snaked an arm around her waist to keep her next to him.

She giggled with him. "You need to go! You'll barely make it on time if you leave now!" She scooted away and climbed off the bed, urging him to do the same.

"Right." Kendall hurried over to his shoes, slipping them on. He ran into the living room, Jade on his heels, and picked his keys up off the coffee table and rushed to the door, quickly opening it. "I'll see you when I'm done!" he exclaimed, instantly walking outside.

"Bye Kendall..." She laughed, walking over and closing the door behind him.

As soon as it clicked shut, there was a knock. Confused, Jade pulled it open again. Kendall stood in front of her with an apologetic smile across his face. "I had a really good time last night," he murmured and stepped up to her, kissing her hard. "_This _is something to get used to." She grinned. "I'll see you at noon?" he asked.

She nodded. "Now go!" She playfully shoved his shoulder. "You're not getting in trouble over me! Especially since they can't know you're late because of me."

Kendall pulled his lips together, a disappointed look on his face. "Right. The rule," he said. He sighed, and with one last quick kiss, he was gone again.

Jade closed the door once again and sighed also, picking up the forgotten rose from the night before and moving to the kitchen to find something to put it in. _The rule._ That was one of their main topics of conversation the night before; how they were going to have to handle their new relationship. They knew they were going to have to keep the couple things confined to his house or her apartment, and even then they'd have to be careful. Kendall said paparazzi and such rarely spied on their homes, but it would be a possibility. Meaning most of their time together would have to be spent at night. And just to mix it up a bit, every now and then Leslie or Dustin would probably need to tag along. They would be allowed to attend red carpet events together, because the producers feel that celebrity events are good ways to score publicity. In other words, the producers would just see it as acting if Jade and Kendall were affectionate towards one another. It was just on set that they'd have to really keep contact to a minimum and put on a friend façade.

She shook her head and reached a hand up to ruffle her light brown hair. Jade had already been in one or two online local articles, tagged as Kendall's "mystery girl," but none of the photos were compromising in the slightest. She walked into her room, and immediately grabbed her laptop to put Kendall's song to her back on loop. A smile forming on her lips, she forgot about her issues for a moment to just relax and listen to it.

When it played a second time, Jade looked around for something to wear for the day, picking through random garments she saw, not completely focused on clothes. _Kendall._ Of course that's what she was focused on. More than just the sneaking around issues now, but he actually _liked _her. Jade always had a gut feeling, he made it so obvious, but that didn't mean she didn't stay in denial the whole time. It was just amazing to her, the things that could happen in such a short time. A mere two and a half months ago, Jade was sitting around miserably in Texas. Now she was in LA, and was about to start her second week as an actress on one of her favorite TV shows, a TV show she starred on with her _boyfriend._

She smiled giddily, finally picking out a plain black tank, accompanied with a gray vest, and blue jean shorts. She took her outfit straight to the bathroom, still lost in her thoughts. She spent her shower in a daze.

* * *

><p>Kendall stepped on set at 7:30 on the dot. Realizing his hair probably looked a mess, he frantically ran his fingers through it to tame it, and took a deep breath, hoping to make it to his dressing room before one of the producers saw him all dressed up.<p>

He cautiously watched his surroundings as he snuck through the set, desperately wishing he could just teleport to his location. He was nervous. _Stupid set rules_. He couldn't get Jade fired before she had really even started, because he was sure that was what the consequence was. Termination.

"Just getting in from a hot date?" Kendall clenched his teeth. Kathryn.

"No," Kendall said, continuing his stride. He wasn't too far from his dressing room now… "I fell asleep in these clothes. I was just uh, trying them on for something..." He shook his head, hoping Kathryn got the hint. He had confessed to Kathryn his strong feelings for Jade, but he didn't want anyone to overhear him talking about them finally getting together. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm running a _tad_ late." He bolted for the door with his name on it and locked the door quickly behind him, exhaling in relief. He started forward only to jump back against the door in surprise. "_What_ are you doing here?!" he exclaimed.

His three best friends grinned back at him.

"Okay, seriously, you guys are kinda freaking me out…" Kendall made a face of disapproval.

"So how did it go?!" James was on the edge of his seat.

"Oh." Kendall smirked. "That." He shrugged casually. "She loved the song," he murmured as he pretended to be interested in something on a table.

"Aaaanndddd?" Logan rolled his hands in a "get on with it" gesture.

"Well, I guess it's safe to say… for the first time _ever_, Kendall Schmidt is off the market."

James, Logan, and Carlos cheered. James stood up, slapping Kendall on the back. "Hell yeah, man! I told you!" Then he leaned forward to whisper to his friend, "I already got the full details from Leslie, but didn't wanna ruin it for the others." He smirked.

Kendall looked confusedly at James. "Was she there last night?" James just nodded. Kendall rolled his eyes and laughed carelessly. "Oh well. It's not like she has anything to use against us."

James was about to mention that he also knew about Kendall trying to put the moves on Jade, but Carlos cut him off. "So tell us what happened!" He leaned forward in anticipation, always one for detail. Kendall was taken aback by the Latino's enthusiasm, wondering when exactly things had completely resolved between the two. But after their writing session for Kendall and Jade the day before, Carlos felt he had no reason whatsoever to feel bitter about the situation, because the way certain lines of that song just burst out of Kendall's mouth, Carlos could see this was nothing _but_ real for him.

"Guys, I've gotta change and all that crap! In case you can't tell, I'm running a tad late!" Kendall looked around to see if the clothes he was to wear for the day were hung up anywhere. He spotted them across the room and hurried over.

"Relax!" James exclaimed. "Filming got pushed back thirty minutes. We've got time." He smirked.

* * *

><p>"Howdy there, partner!" Leslie boasted into the kitchen, speaking in a thick country accent. "How'd you like that late night with Schmidt?" She smirked.<p>

Jade flinched out of her trance. She had been dazedly stirring and staring into her coffee, practically floating on Cloud Nine. Her eyes widened at her friend. "You were awake the whole time, weren't you?"

"Yep, yep!" Leslie haughtily pulled open the refrigerator, pulling out the milk to make herself a bowl of cereal. "Thanks for forgetting about me, by the way…" She pretended to be hurt. "But I understand, if a man like _that_ was just _throwing_ himself at me, I'd forget about my best friend, too."

Jade looked down uncomfortably. "So you saw _everything_…"

Leslie nodded. "I was close to coming out and kicking his ass, but…" She turned around and stared at Jade proudly. "You actually started standing up for yourself, and he was just like putty in your hands after that. God I felt like I was watching a movie or something! I teared up and everything!"

Jade laughed. "You're joking?"

"Not at all!" Leslie shook her head. "I mean I felt like the biggest creeper in the world, watching everything, but I couldn't help myself. It was so weird to think of how you two acted around each other before, and to realize how much you were both restricting yourselves! And last night you could finally just let some of it out. It was rather beautiful."

"I don't even know how to respond to that." Jade shook her head uncertainly.

"You remember how the night you met him, you said you were different with him?" Jade just nodded. "You are." Leslie smiled softly.

"Good or bad?" Jade asked.

"Definitely good." Leslie nodded, beaming. "He brings out the best in you. You wouldn't have stuck up to Chad like that…"

Jade faltered. The pessimist in her felt like Kendall was going to leave her at any moment, and throughout the night before, she came to blaming Chad for it. She didn't _want_ the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that this was only temporary, but it was there anyways.

Leslie saw the emotions flicker across her best friend's face, and quickly whipped out her phone, changing the subject. "Look! I went into complete creeper mode!" she exclaimed. "This was more for your benefit though, just in case you thought you were dreaming or something."

Jade took the phone and looked to see a picture of herself and Kendall from the night before. Kendall's hands were cradling her face, and their foreheads touching. It was right after their argument. In disbelief, more at the sight than Leslie's creepiness, she scrolled to the side to see the remaining three pictures. The last one was of the two in Jade's room. "Leslie!" But then Jade really looked at the picture. It was when they'd first entered, and were listening to Jade's song. They were just wrapped comfortably in each other's embrace, and it was when Kendall was hiding in the crook of her neck. Jade sighed happily.

"Yeah I went a little overboard by taking the room picture… but y'all just looked so cute!" Leslie looked over Jade's shoulder at the picture. "What was he doing?"

Still gazing at the picture, Jade responded, "I think he was hiding."

"Hiding?"

She nodded. "Like as soon as the song started, he moved his face there, and… his face became warmer out of nowhere. He was blushing, Les. That song is just him pretty much pouring his heart out, in a very catchy way, and I don't really think he's used to that, you know?"

"Wait… song?! Oh my god he wrote you a song."

"Well the guys helped him! But… yes." Jade blushed. "Wanna hear it?"

"Um, do you even have to ask?!"

After Jade played Kendall's song for Leslie, and let Leslie get her flailing out of her system, the girls went out for an early lunch, since Jade had to be on set at noon. And she was anxious. She wasn't sure what it was, or if it was all the possibilities combined. Was it the idea of seeing him again now that they were "together" and not knowing how she should act? Was it the idea of keeping such a big secret on set? The thoughts and nervous feelings were endless.

Jade headed straight for her dressing room, wanting so badly to keeping going towards Kendall's, but she contained herself. "Hi Kathryn!" she exclaimed genuinely as she closed their dressing room door behind her.

Kathryn laughed. "Hey Jade!"

"Having a good day?"

Kathryn shrugged. "I was scheduled to be on set at 7:30, and I haven't filmed anything yet. Needless to say, I'm a little restless!"

"Bummer!" Jade grimaced for her and plopped down in the LA-Z Boy chair, kicking back and resting her feet on the coffee table in front of her.

"So… why are you being so nice to me?" Kathryn asked uncertainly.

Jade smiled. "I wouldn't be mean to you! And I'm having a really good day." She sighed.

"Wouldn't happen to have anything to do wi-"

Cutting Kathryn short, their dressing room door opened, and in walked the man himself. Kendall smiled as soon as he met Jade's gaze, and moved away from the door to let James slip in and shut the door behind them.

Kendall walked straight for Jade and sat down on the armrest of her chair, automatically leaning down to kiss her. "Kendall…" Jade looked at him wide-eyed.

She averted her eyes in Kathryn's direction to indicate why she was reluctant, and he just smiled his breathtaking smile again. "She knows how I feel about you," he murmured, leaning further forward and pressing his lips chastely against hers.

A soft grin settled on Jade's face before she looked at Kathryn expectantly. Kathryn smiled shyly and said, "He felt obligated to tell me after, uh, what happened, to further prove how wrong I was for what I said…" She giggled. "I knew something had to have happened! You are both just glowing today."

Jade blushed and glanced up at Kendall, who was grinning down at her. He wanted to kiss her again, and again, and again, but this wasn't the time or place. It never would be the place. So as James and Kathryn suddenly became enthralled in conversation, Kendall settled with subtle contact and complimenting her. He started lightly stroking her hair, regaining her attention as she turned her gaze up to his face again. "Hey beautiful," he murmured sweetly.

He watched her cheeks flare with a light pink, and as her face faded back to normal color, she whispered back, "Hi handsome."

But just as she was about to touch the arm reaching to her, there was a loud knock on the door and the two frantically ripped away from each other just before Scott poked his head in the door, searching the room. "There you two are!" he exclaimed at Kendall and James. "You're being summoned!" And he was gone again.

Jade let out a shaky breath she hadn't realized she was holding and sat rigid in her seat. She clenched her teeth in frustration. She and Kendall hadn't even been a secret couple on set for ten minutes and had almost been caught in an affectionate stance. She inhaled deeply and felt Kendall's lips against her temple. "We'll be more careful," he whispered. "I'll see you in a bit." Not waiting for a response, he kissed her head once more and followed James out of the room.

Exhaling, Jade sunk in her chair and looked desperately at Kathryn. "This isn't going to be easy at all, is it?" she whined.

Kathryn frowned. "I guess not…"

* * *

><p>The rest of the day passed restlessly for Jade and Kendall, finding that all they wanted to do was be near one another, holding hands, kissing, anything, but were too scared to even touch at all. They thought maybe the couple of kisses they had to share on camera would suffice for the time being, but it didn't. Kissing for the camera was much different than in real life, on their own time, they'd both realized.<p>

But finally, production was shut down for the day at 7:00PM. Jade bustled into her dressing room, intent on tidying up before she headed home, but when she sat down at the wall-length vanity she shared with Kathryn, she spotted an envelope with her name on it. Frowning in curiosity, she ripped it open. It was full of pictures.

"Those boys sure love leaving you surprises." Kathryn giggled.

Jade read the post-it note attached first. '_Thought you could use these to liven up your mirror! Big one goes in the frame though! (: xoxo KFS'_

Jade looked up from the contents in her hands and saw a simple, but pretty, black-rimmed frame set on the corner of her end of the countertop-like vanity. She smiled, sliding the obviously larger photo from the stack. She giggled in awe as she observed herself, Kendall, Dustin, and Logan scattered between the men of Incubus. It had been taken backstage by a venue photographer, and Jade had just been talking to Kendall the night before about how she didn't think they would ever get a hold of that picture. She sighed happily, seeing and remembering how happy Kendall was that night, with the huge grin on his face, and one arm casually cast across Brandon Boyd's shoulders, and the other holding Jade close to him.

She carefully placed the picture in front of the empty frame in front of her, and thumbed through the rest of the smaller pictures, a wide smile plastered on her face the whole time. There was one of just her and Kendall from the fair, then one of her and James, her and Dustin, and even some from Texas of her, her friends, and family. She shook her head, ready to cry tears of pure joy. "How did he even get these?" She beamed at a picture of her, Josh, and Leslie laughing.

Kathryn laughed. "Kendall's sneaky. He has his ways."

Once Jade got all of her pictures set up how she wanted them, she was finally headed out of the building, and leaning against her car, was tall, blonde, and eyebrows himself. "Hey there," he said with a smile.

Her eyes lit up in surprise. "Hi ba-… Kendall." She laughed nervously.

Kendall sighed. "I know." He cast his eyes downward and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "So can I uh, see you later?" he whispered, his nervous laugh matching hers.

"Oh." She flicked her hair back flirtatiously, smirking. "I mean, as long as my schedule is clear…"

"Oh I'll clear your schedule…" He raised his eyebrows suggestively and chuckled, motioning with his fingers like he was on his phone, letting her know he'd text her. "Didja like the pictures?"

"Oh my gosh, I _loved_ them. _Thank_ you!" she exclaimed, then whispered, "I planned to properly thank you." She casually touched her lips, pointing to them. "But…"

A goofy grin appeared on Kendall's face, and he started backing away. "I'll see you soon?"

She laughed at his excitement and just nodded, opening her car door and sliding in. She sighed. It was almost _depressing_ having to hold back like that. And her phone pinged in agreement as soon as she started her car; she picked it up and saw _'Wow that sucked ): Come over?'_

_ 'After I run home and change first (:'_

_ 'Just come over. You can just wear my clothes (;'_

Jade smirked._ 'It'll take me five extra minutes, darling… it's the 30 minute drive home you should be worried about!'_

_ 'Jaaaade ):'_

She looked across the parking lot to see Kendall's car still in place like hers. _'Kendall we should probably leave work now :P' _He just sent her a smiling face back, and she took the opportunity to pull out of the parking lot, and start the trek home.

She rushed into her apartment, shooting a quick "Hey guys!" to James and Leslie who were making out on the couch. She shook her head with a laugh and ran into her bathroom, ripping off her blue jean shorts and replacing them with purple cotton ones, and tossed her gray vest with her disposed of shorts into her laundry basket. Then she debated whether she should bring clothes for the next day or not, because there was no doubt she'd fall asleep at Kendall's.

Finally settling on bringing clothes, she grabbed her backpack and shoved a v-neck and skinny jeans into it, followed by a few more necessities, and then she was out and hurrying to the kitchen to grab herself a bottle of water, and making a beeline for the door. "Bye guys!"

"Wait, wait!" James called after her. "Come here, Jade!"

Jade spun around in place and waltzed over to her friends, coming up behind the couch. "Yes?"

"In a hurry?" He smirked.

Jade groaned. "You couldn't have joked with me as I was walking out the door or something?"

"Ooh, testy!" Leslie winked at James and they laughed.

Jade joined in. "Y'all have it good, okay?"

"How hard was today?" James asked.

"Too hard." Jade laughed. "The worst part was when he was waiting at my car to see me, and we had to like, talk in code and not touch each other."

"Well once y'all get over the newness of the relationship, I'm sure it'll get easier?" Leslie suggested hopefully.

"Maybe! I should go before he comes and kidnaps me or something though." She smirked. "See you later!" She started to walk away.

"Hey Jade?" James called after her again. "I'm proud of you."

She had a feeling he was talking about denying Kendall when he tried to put moves on her, so she just smiled, and walked back over to place a soft kiss to James' head, and then Leslie's. "Love y'all."

She sped to Kendall's, and ran up to his front door, leaving her backpack in the car to try and not seem too pushy.

"Hey sister!" Dustin grinned at Jade, pulling her in for a hug when he opened the door. "It's been a bit too long for my liking since we've seen each other! And may I say, you are absolutely glowing!" He smirked at her.

She blushed, instantly covering her cheeks with her hands in embarrassment. "_Dustin_," she whined, but giggled. "It's nice to see you too," she mumbled, shaking her head and looking down.

"Dustin! Are you making my girlfriend uncomfortable!?" Kendall waltzed in, jokingly trying to look and sound intimidating, only to shove his best friend playfully.

Jade could only whip her head up and smile sheepishly at the word _girlfriend_. Hearing him say that would never get old, and she had to contain herself from looking around to make sure there wasn't another girl in the room he could've been talking about.

"Shut up, you just wanted an excuse to say the word girlfriend!" Dustin shoved him back, but smiled. He was proud of his best friend.

"You shut up!" Kendall jumped Dustin, putting him in a headlock and roughly ruffling his hair.

"Hey! Hey! Not the hair, man!" Dustin laughed loudly, prying the blonde's arm from his neck and ducking away from him.

"You're lucky Jade's holding me back, dude!" Kendall held his hands behind his back, wiggling his fingers to get Jade's attention.

She grasped them in her own and smirked. "Yeah, Dustin. Run for your life! I've got this one on lock!"

Still laughing, Dustin hopped over the back of the couch in the living room, landing comfortably and grabbing the TV remote simultaneously. "I bet you do! Y'all don't do nothin' I wouldn't, now!"

Kendall immediately started pulling Jade towards the staircase. "Hey, your country accent is improving!" she yelled back at Dustin.

"Why thank ya, ma'am!"

She giggled and ran upstairs behind Kendall, and as soon as she shut his bedroom door behind them, his hands were cupping her face and he was whispering, "I'll take that thank you now," with a smile, and then he eagerly pressed his lips against hers.

But curiosity got the best of Jade when she opened her eyes for a moment. "Kendall, why is your bed in the middle of the room?"

He laughed, flipping his light switch off, and took her hand to pull her over to the moonlit bed. His balcony doors were wide open, and his bed was positioned next to it as best as it could be given the amount of space. "I realized I've never shown you the amazing view my room has. And with it being a full moon tonight, I thought it'd be a nice night to just… lay here."

She lay on her back on the edge closest to the balcony, and she watched as he placed himself next to her, lying on his side. "What did I do to deserve someone as amazing as you?" she asked softly.

She saw him struggling with his words, rendered speechless, completely flustered. "A-are you kidding me?" he finally sputtered out, propping himself up on his elbow and leaning over her face.

"I just know how hard it is for you-"

"No, Jade, don't worry about me. I know how hard this is for _you_…" He twirled his fingers through her hair.

"For me?"

"The only man you've ever truly felt something for before me just up and left you… I know you're scared to trust me," he murmured. "But I can promise you that I'm not going anywhere. I _promise_." He kissed her cheek softly, still playing with her hair.

"I-I don't know what to say…" she whispered.

He smiled. "You don't have to say anything. Just…" He hovered more over her. "Kiss me?"

She just nodded as he moved in, and could tell once his lips were working against hers that this kiss was different. And sure enough, right before she tangled her fingers through his blonde locks, she felt the tip of his tongue tracing her bottom lip, begging, urging. With a small gasp, she instinctively parted her lips, feeling him slowly enter her mouth.

He kissed her slowly and romantically, mapping out the inside of her mouth in between battles for dominance, while gently holding or caressing her face. And when they finally separated, breathless, they were content. Kendall just gazed into his girlfriend's hazel eyes alight with some new kind of curiosity, or just _happiness_. Something he would learn could only be placed with a new experience for her. And he did feel rather smug knowing that while Chad may have gotten Jade's first simple kiss, he would, _hopefully_, be the one to provide the rest of her firsts. He would be the one waking up to her beautiful face most mornings, not Chad.

And Kendall relished in the way the moonlight hit her skin, lightening up their dark setting. The way she aimlessly doodled on his arm draped across her stomach with her fingers. The way pure awe settled on her face when she finally looked out at the incredible view, seeing the hills and trees and lights, the skyline, and the perfect view of the full moon. The way her perfect lips curved up into a perfect smile. The way her breath sounded rattled when she looked back into his eyes.

And when she reached up to push his hair back from his forehead, and something like the best feeling in the world rushed through him, warming him just from her innocent caress, he knew the impossible was happening. What he had never, ever expected of himself.

He was falling in love with her.

Eventually, Jade broke the silence with a murmur, "This is nice."

"What's that?" Kendall asked softly.

"Lying here," she whispered. "With you."

Kendall leaned forward and kissed her nose gently. "I could stay like this forever."


	9. One Month

**9 – One Month **- _"You are the light up ahead at the end of the road. When I look in your eyes, it feels like I'm home. I need this night, yes it's late, but the morning will come. And as you fall fast asleep with your head on my chest, I watch you breathe in and out as you're finding your rest." – My Favorite Highway (Say So)_

"Kendall?" Jade answered her phone. "Where the hell have you been?" She had been trying to call him all day, with no success, and didn't know if she was worried, or frustrated.

Hearing her tone, he immediately responded, "I know, baby. I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He sighed. "Look, just… come here. Come see me?"

"Kendall, you promised we would spend the whole day together," she whined.

"I know," Kendall murmured sadly.

"I-I'm not trying to be one of those annoying, complaining girlfriends," Jade said. "We just never have a whole day, and then on our one month anniversary we happen to have one, and you don't even answer my calls?"

"You have _every_ right to be upset with me right now, Jade. I slept late and stuff came up with work unexpectedly. I should've called you. I'm so sorry! Just let me make it up to you," he pleaded.

"I'll uh, I'll come by later or something." Jade closed her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair exasperatedly.

"Jade…"

"I'll see you later, Kendall."

And with that, she ended the call. She fell onto her bed, fighting her own feelings. She had a right to be upset, didn't she? Kendall had said he'd call her when he woke up, and then it got later and later in the day, and still no call. Jade resisted calling him until it was into the mid-afternoon hours and she had grown too anxious about it. It wouldn't have been as big a deal if the date didn't mark them officially being together a month; a day Kendall had marveled over nonstop for the past few days. And after his ongoing talk about it, he doesn't even call her until six o'clock that night? But it was so hard to stay mad at him; it was like her weakness. Sometimes she felt like Kendall could murder somebody and as long as he looked at her a certain way afterwards it would all be okay.

Those feelings scared her.

She didn't like not being in control of her emotions. But every time she thought about that, she wondered why she wasn't as open to love Kendall as she was Chad. And when she would try to discuss it with Leslie, the girl would continuously insist that it's all because of Chad. Because Chad hurt her and she was still scared Kendall would do the same. Because she needed closure with Chad. Because this, because that. Now Jade just tuned her out.

And then Leslie waltzed into the room cheerfully, her bleach blonde hair bouncing with the rest of her. "Um, why are you home?" she asked.

"I don't know…" Jade frowned.

"Why aren't you with Kendall?"

"He _just now_ called me, Leslie."

Now it was Leslie's turn to frown. "So… why aren't you with him?"

"He said we were going to spend the _whole day_ together, and he just now called me!" Jade sat up, anxiously clasping her hands together.

"But isn't today y'alls one month?" Leslie sat lightly next to her friend.

Jade nodded sadly. "He's seemed so excited about it lately—I think mostly because he never thought he'd be with one girl for that long—but it's like today… I don't know if he forgot or just suddenly didn't care…"

"Oh, Jade. I'm sure it was neither of those!" Leslie placed a comforting hand on Jade's back. "Maybe he was planning something special or something, and it took longer than he thought?"

"He said he slept late and had some unexpected stuff with work."

"You don't believe him?"

"I don't know! I just feel like if he was telling the truth, he still would've called." Jade shrugged, then sighed. "But it's like I don't even know if I have a right to be mad at him. What kind of stuff can I get mad over in a relationship? I don't want to be clingy or whatever… and it's just impossible for me to actually stay mad at him. I told him I'd come by later." She rolled her eyes half-heartedly.

"Yeah, Jade, him blowing off plans on your one _monthiversary _is pretty good reason to get upset over. But it's Kendall, he wouldn't deliberately disappoint you like that, so maybe just… wait it out?" Leslie shrugged. "But hey! I have this awesome place I wanna show you! James took me last night. I could take you there, then take you to Kendall's?" she suggested. "You know, it would give you some time to cool off."

"Uhh, sure. What kind of place is it?"

Leslie jumped up excitedly. "It's _amazing_! But it's a surprise!" She paused. "Would you think I was crazy if I wanted to blindfold you like James did to me when he took me? I think it adds to the experience…"

"No, because that's so you." Jade laughed. "But you're not blindfolding me."

"Oh, come on, Jade! Pleeease?!" Leslie pulled on her arm pleadingly. "Just let me do this!"

"Leslie…"

"_Please_, Jade! Best friend! It'll cheer you up! The sooner you let me do this, the sooner you can straighten all this crap out with Kendall!"

Jade sighed, shaking her head but giving in for the sake of avoiding further argument. "Fine."

Leslie cheered, pulling a bandana out of her pocket. "Alright," she said after tying it around Jade's head. "Can you see how many fingers I'm holding up?" She held two in Jade's face.

"You know I could just lie to you and tell you I can't see them, right?"

"I thought you would say that! That's why I'm tying a second one around the first!" Leslie sounded proud of herself.

Jade groaned. "_Why_ did I agree to this?"

"Okay, time to change your clothes!" Leslie moved away from her friend and towards the closet.

Jade heard the sound of plastic. "Wait, what?! Why?" She tried to resist Leslie's grip as she tried to lift Jade's shirt from her body.

"Just let me change you, woman!" Leslie demanded, mumbling something about _adds to the experience_ as she struggled to get the shirt over Jade's head without moving the blindfolds.

"I feel like I'm being kidnapped and potentially raped," Jade whined as she felt something like a dress being slid onto her.

"Oh shut up," Leslie laughed, moving around Jade to zip up the dress. Then she made her friend sit down so she could slip her feet into some shoes. "This just-"

"Adds to the experience? Yeah Leslie, you're psycho."

Entertaining Jades comment, Leslie cackled hysterically. "And now we're ready to go, my pretty!"

Jade groaned. "You're giving me away as a sex slave or something aren't you? Why do you have me in this dress?" She could feel the cold air of her room hitting nearly her whole back.

"Oh, grow up, Jade." Leslie led her out of their apartment. "This dress is not at all sex slave worthy. It's very respectable, actually. Formal."

"But _why_?" Jade was now being led carefully down the steps and to the parking lot. Leslie didn't answer, just leading Jade to her car, helping her in, and driving her towards her destination.

* * *

><p>Light music flowed to Jade's ears as she was guided up a few steps, which grew slightly louder when she heard a door open in front of her and a familiar, horrible country accent say, "Howdy, ma'am!"<p>

"What the hell is going on?" Jade questioned, turning her head left and right as if she were looking around, forgetting she couldn't see anything. She knew that was Dustin's voice… _isn't it?_ The music seemed to follow her as she was walked through a seemingly familiar setting until she was finally stopped. She heard footsteps around her, and as soon as she heard a door close, they stopped.

For a moment, Jade thought she was alone, but then warm lips were surrounding her own before she had a chance to question what was going on. Her first thought was to burst out saying she was right about Leslie giving her away as a sex slave, but she knew the hungry lips working against hers all too well to break away from them so soon.

"I thought you were mad at me," Kendall whispered, placing a chaste kiss to her ear and slowly rubbing his hands up and down her back.

Jade shook her head, laughing lightly. "You know it's impossible for me to stay mad at you." She sighed. "You wanna help me take these blindfolds off though?"

He chuckled, instantly releasing her to reach around and untie the bandanas from her head. "It's all in the surprise, baby," he murmured, stepping aside right before he unveiled the room to her.

She gawked in surprise, seeing the cliché rose petals scattered across the floor, the strings of lights lining the beige walls all around them, and the small table in the middle of the room next to the dark fireplace, with a crystal-like tea-light candle piece sitting inbetween two sets of silverware and wine glasses, accompanied by beanbags as chairs.

"Kendall…!" Jade breathed out in shock, feeling his arms slide around her torso from behind. "Is this the beanbag room?"

Kendall laughed lightly in her ear, putting a smile on Jade's face at the sound. "Crazy, right?" he asked softly, kissing the shell of her ear and gently rocking their bodies back and forth.

She easily turned around in his arms and pulled away from him, taking his hands in hers and soaking in his appearance. A bright smile lit her face as she observed his black Vans, black skinny jeans, and black suspenders sitting atop a blue button-up shirt, and then his pushed-back hair. "God, you're so good-looking," she murmured, eyeing him up and down one more time.

He beamed at her, his face turning a shade of red she adored as he tightened his grip on her hands. "Me? Have you seen yourself?"

"Actually, I haven't…" She giggled. "Leslie dressed me."

Kendall laughed loudly. "She really went all out for the surprise, huh?"

Jade nodded. "Apparently. I'm guessing this isn't the _amazing_ place James took her to that she just _had_ to show me?" Kendall shook his head with a smile. "So this is what you've been doing all day?" She let go of one of his hands to motion around the glowing room.

"Yes… I'm _so_ sorry I didn't exactly think it through, you know, by not calling you?" He looked down sadly. "I really did oversleep, and then I sort of got lost in planning and time slipped away from me…"

"You know I would've been content spending a simple day with you. Now we only have tonight." Jade frowned.

Kendall shook his head. "We have tomorrow now." He grinned. "Scott called me this morning and told me to let everyone know that we don't have to go in. So I told everyone but you, and started working on all of this." He looked at her proudly.

She laughed in disbelief and moved in to give him a soft kiss. "You're perfect, you know that?" she whispered against his lips, watching the blush creep to his cheeks. She smiled. Compliments from her always seemed to embarrass him in some way. In a good way.

He just nuzzled his nose against hers. "You look so beautiful," he murmured, gliding his fingers down her arms, meeting her hands again. And as they stared into each other's eyes, they knew there was nowhere else in the world they'd rather be. "I wanna see if you like your dress. Come over here." He pulled her towards the closet door and opened it, revealing a full length mirror on the other side.

"Oh!" Jade grazed her hands down her sides. "This is new." Sure, she could feel the shape and fit of the dress, but it didn't look anything like she thought; she really didn't expect it to be new. She felt the silky black material under her fingertips and admired the way it fit her form. It was the perfect dress. "You picked this out yourself?" A chill ran through her as she felt his cool hands drift up her open back.

"I just gave opinions." Kendall smiled, sliding his hands right up to her shoulders, massaging them. "I met Leslie at one of your favorite shops earlier today. She picked out all the dresses she knew you would like, and I picked my favorite and bought it."

Jade tilted her head back against his shoulder, becoming overly-relaxed under his touch. "You didn't need to do that…"

"I _wanted_ to. Today means a lot to me. Of course I was going to get you something." He smiled softly, turning her around to face him.

"Well then, thank you." She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling them together. "I got you something, too." Kendall raised his eyebrows. "But since I didn't know I was coming to see you… it's at home." She giggled.

He shrugged with a smile. "It's almost dinner time," he murmured before pecking her mouth and leading her over to the table.

"This is all so nice," Jade commented, marveling at the decorations again. "Did you cook?" she asked hopefully. Kendall had spoiled her by cooking many nights for her after work, and she couldn't seem to get enough of it sometimes.

He chuckled as he sat across from her. "Look, I feel horrible all the time, because I can't take you out on proper dates." He frowned. "So this is me, trying to pull off an actual date… at home. This is the restaurant, and later, I'll be taking you to see a movie." He beamed at her.

"Here?"

He shook his head. "Nope. I have a friend that has the hook-up. But enough about that! I can smell our food." He smirked. "Your favorite restaurant is catering."

Jade's eyes widened. "Kendall, how much did you spend on all of this?!"

"What's important here is having a _fantastic_ one month anniversary together." He reached over the side of the table near the fireplace. "And I know just the way to start us off." He grinned, pulling a bottle of Red wine from an ice bin to show her. Her eyes twinkled with eagerness in the candlelight as she watched her boyfriend pour her half a glass, and he couldn't help but grin. He thought it was adorable how much of a wine girl she was. He hadn't expected it one bit; truthfully, he hadn't expected her to be much of an alcohol drinker at all, but she was full of surprises.

And after a few more glasses, a couple of romantic slow dances, dinner and dessert, the giggly, slightly tipsy couple was ready to be chauffeured—by James Maslow himself-to their next destination.

Jade was surprised to see them pull up to a house._ Mansion_ would be a better term. But she was even more surprised when she was lead inside and to a gigantic room that indeed looked exactly like a movie theater, only more comfortable with loveseats big enough for two lined up in the room instead of conventional, fold-up theater seats. And then their friends occupied some of the spots, confusing Jade even further.

Before she had a chance to question that, Kendall pulled her close, whispering right into her ear, "They're here to make it more real. Like, so when I make out with you on the back row, it feels a bit more rebellious like we're actually at the movies." He grinned against her skin, nibbling playfully at her ear. She giggled, dragging him by his suspenders when the lights dimmed to a chair in the very back, and pulled him onto her lap. Kendall buried his face in her neck, his body shaking with giddy laughter. "I don't think this is how it goes," he mumbled, referring to how they were sitting, before gently grinding his teeth against her skin.

Jade slid her hands onto his chest, moving them under his shirt and onto his shoulders. "No, this isn't right, is it?" she questioned innocently, pushing him away from her neck.

He took the moment to jump up, immediately scooping her into his arms and causing her to shriek from the suddenness of the move. "Sshhhh!" He put a finger to her lips. "The movie's starting!" he whispered with a smirk, sitting down so that she was now on his lap. "Now…" He grabbed her hips and turned her over, hiking up her dress just enough so she could straddle his legs. "Come here." He smiled mischievously and pulled her body onto his, cherishing this, knowing in the back of his mind that he wouldn't get as sensual a moment as her straddling him to make out with him if Jade wasn't tipsy off Red Wine.

When Jade woke up the next morning, she was stiffly curled up on her side, her head on Kendall's lap. She looked around, seeing they were still in the home movie theater, and realized she had fallen asleep after they'd finished watching the movie. She turned her head back when she felt Kendall start playing with her hair and smiled. "Good morning," she murmured, struggling to turn on her back. She was sore from staying so scrunched up a majority of the night.

"Morning." Kendall smiled warmly down at her. "How 'bout we change clothes? You've looked really uncomfortable sleeping in that dress."

"I am," Jade laughed. "How long have you been awake?"

Kendall shrugged. "An hour, maybe?"

"You coulda woke me up." She slowly sat up, feeling Kendall's hand on her back for support.

He shrugged again. "I like watching you sleep."

Jade blushed, scooting close to him and planting a kiss on his cheek. "We don't have clothes to change into," she said.

"Yes we do." Kendall grabbed her hand before he stood up, bringing her with him. "Leslie packed an outfit for you last night." He grinned, yanking up an overnight bag from the seat in front of them. "Let's see here…" He unzipped the bag and pulled out her short shorts. "I _told_ James these were just for around the house!" He pretended to be embarrassed and hide them behind his back.

Jade laughed, yanking the shorts from his hand. "Shut up," she said, slipping the shorts up her legs and pulling them under her dress. "Now that Leslie has packed the shortest shorts I own, what else ya got for me?"

He chuckled, pulling out the rest of the clothes for the two of them and sorting them out. Of course, Jade made him turn away from her so she could change, and insisted she do the same for him, even though he suggestively insisted she was welcome to watch him.

Then once Kendall made it to the door and they were ready to begin their day, he immediately retreated back into the theater room. "Oh shit."

"What?" Jade asked, alarmed.

"Umm…" he chuckled nervously. "My uh, family is here."

"Why is your family here?" Jade looked at him uncertainly.

"Well I mean, this house belongs to a family friend… but really? They picked _today_ to visit?!" He placed his back against the door anxiously.

Flustered, Jade approached him, resting her hands on his chest and leaning against him. "I-It's okay if you haven't… told them about me…" she murmured sadly.

"No, no Jade, _of course_ I've told them about you. But I don't think they _believe_ me." He laughed humorlessly, holding her hips. "They know what you look like, so if they see us so unexpectedly my mom's liable to break down crying because I finally have a girlfriend." He rolled his eyes.

Jade giggled. "Well if that's all you're worried about, then let's go meet them." She smiled, kissing him.

"Are you sure?" Kendall murmured into her lips. "That's kind of a big step, huh?"

She shrugged. "I guess, but it doesn't have to be this big formal event. Casual's easier."

"They're gonna ask a million questions."

"That's okay. I'm excited to meet them. I've only seen all the pictures in your room, and then Kevin in the occasional TV show or movie." She sighed. "You're such a family man, I'm surprised I didn't meet them sooner."

Kendall smiled, grasping her hands on his chest. "They're gonna love you."

And Kendall ended up being right. His mother cried joyfully, his dad just stared in amazement, and his brothers bombarded them with a thousand questions, including one about their sex life, and were astonished to find that the two didn't have one yet. But all in all, the Schmidt family adored Jade and knew they would always be grateful to her for changing Kendall's life for the better. They seemed to have endless faith in their relationship, expecting them to be together for a very long time.


	10. Golden Moments

**10 – Golden Moments **- _"I try my best to behave, and I can't help feelin' this way. It's not my fault so don't blame me; love makes me do it." – Hunter Hayes (Love Makes Me)_

Time only made Kendall and Jade's bond stronger. Granted, as things with the show moved forward and Big Time Rush began growing more as a band, Jade found herself without Kendall many days. Because once Nickelodeon screwed with the BTR producers, telling them they had to shave one minute from every completed episode because of commercial bill changes, the guys got more band rehearsal, and Jade had more free time. Leslie stuck with her though, missing James just as much.

On Kendall's late nights, he'd made a habit of going straight to Jade's apartment after work where she would already be in the process of making him dinner. He'd sit on the counter, or drag a chair into the room and just watch her get frustrated with herself for forgetting to do something, or dumping too much of an ingredient into the mix. She was slowly learning, expanding her culinary abilities. He always cooked for her, and even though he protested in the beginning, she felt it more than fair that she do the same for him on these seemingly endless late nights the guys were having.

He'd observe her every movement, easily dragging him into deep thought. And one night, just a few nights after the four month mark of their relationship, he found himself thinking of the changes in both of them, of course wondering where he'd be at this moment if he'd never laid eyes on Jade at that Dallas fair. Pursuing another one night stand? Sitting there, he couldn't believe he'd thought that before Jade came along that he was _happy_. It had taken truly being happy to realize he had been utterly miserable most of his adult life.

And then Jade turned her head to gaze at him, the slightest of grins set upon her face. It was that look that always set him off in the most incredible way. Kendall's stomach swelled with warmth and pride knowing that this beautiful girl in front of him was really his, that he had finally grown into a man he didn't even know he'd wanted to be, a man his parents could truly be proud of. Jade bashfully questioned him, blushing under his intense stare.

And so certainly, his answer rolled off of his tongue as if he were simply saying her name. Words he didn't mean to say, but meant with every inch of his being. Life-changing words. "I love you." He gauged her reaction, seeing her retain a gasp, her cheeks flushing further, and her hand tighten on the spatula she was holding. It was written all over her face that she wanted to say it back, that she felt it too, but she couldn't get the words out. Yet that was enough for him.

He smiled, reaching over and grabbing her hand hanging at her side. "Don't say it back." He pulled her towards his spot on the counter, taking her other now free hand as well, settling her between his legs. She looked down, ashamed. "Hey, look at me," he said softly, dipping his head to get her attention and lacing his fingers through hers. "I know where we stand, okay?"

"Kendall…" She shook her head slowly, tugging his arms around her back and holding them there.

"Stop." He laughed lightly. "I don't _care_ when you say it back. Well, okay, I _care_, but Jade… as long as you're with me, I can wait as long as you need."

"It's not fair to you…" she muttered uncertainly.

"We're different." He shrugged. "We don't have to be some typical storybook couple that feels and does everything at the exact same time. I want you to be one hundred percent comfortable before you do or say anything, okay?" She nodded with a small smile. "Now," he grinned. "Give me a kiss…" he murmured sweetly, leaning his head down to meet her halfway.

* * *

><p>With another month's passing came news of a month and a half long break from filming because of how badly the network screwed up, but also a tour overseas that would separate Jade and Leslie from the guys for three and a half weeks. Jade knew that James and Leslie would be better at handling that than her and Kendall, because while James and Leslie had a very physical relationship, Kendall and Jade were much more emotionally attached.<p>

But Jade was worried about her attachment to Logan, Dustin, James, and Carlos almost as much as Kendall's. Their little clique of friends had grown incredibly close, and she wouldn't have any of them but Leslie; even Dianna was going on vacation at the same time. And Leslie now had a part-time job at their favorite coffee shop, meaning Jade really would have _a_ _lot_ of alone time.

She sighed, looking around at her seven close friends surrounding her. They were having the guys' going away party in Kendall and Dustin's backyard, the day before they left for their first show. Barbeque and pool extravaganza on a beautiful October day, just the eight of them.

Kendall had Jade between his legs on his favorite double chair, alternating between holding her hips and tracing his fingertips across the skin of her back through the thin rips in her shirt. She was the only one who hadn't stripped down to her swimsuit now and though he knew he needed to keep his sexual urges at bay, oddly, her being in her cute little bikini was easier to deal with than _wanting_ her to be in her cute little bikini.

He sighed, his breath tickling the back of her neck, and he felt her shudder before she leaned back against him, using his legs as armrests. She leaned to the side so she could turn her head to see his face and smiled, mouthing the words, "Kiss me."

As soon as he happily met her lips, they heard Logan yell overdramatically, "That was it! Y'all see that?!" He jumped up with a smirk on his face. "Jade just told Kendall to fuck her! Saw it! I saw it with my own eyes!" He was already backing away from Jade, laughing, as she pushed herself away from Kendall, ready to pounce.

"I did not!" Jade glared at her boisterous friend, walking slowly towards him.

"What's the matter, hot stuff?" Logan called to her. "Can't take the heat?" He thrusted his hips provocatively in her direction, tripping over a stone near the pool as he took off running to get away from Jade.

She eventually caught up to him on the other side of the pool, jumping on his back and grinding her knuckles against the top of his head. "I'm gonna kick your ass!" she exclaimed, causing an eruption of laughter from everyone around. He did what he could to shake her, but she wasn't letting him go.

They kept struggling with one another, laughing the whole while, until Logan yelled "Help!" and Carlos came running to shove them both into the pool.

Kendall turned to James. "Would it be weird to say I'm kind of jealous of Logan's relationship with Jade?"

"Dude what are you talking about? You're her boyfriend?"

"No, I know. I don't mean it like that. She just acts… less reserved with him? I don't really know how to explain it… like she'll just tackle Logan to the ground, or use every word in the book to cuss him out…"

James laughed. "Do you _want_ her to do that to you?"

Kendall laughed too. "You're right. Forget I said anything."

"Logan makes _everyone_ that way, Kendall. You know that."

But Kendall was laughing and watching his love now as she lifted herself out of the pool, her shirt and shorts nearly hanging off of her. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her now ruined phone. "Thank you, Carlos."

Everyone "ooooh"ed and busted out laughing again all at once. Jade just pouted, approaching her cackling boyfriend. "Why would you leave your phone in your pocket near a pool when you're with _us_?" He motioned to everyone around them and took her phone from her hand, examining it as Carlos came over, still laughing, but apologizing over and over again to Jade and going on about how he'd buy her a new phone. "Let's take it inside to take it apart and try to dry it out, yes?" Kendall looked up at her suggestively, but she didn't take the hint.

"You can't take apart an iPhone, doofus." She tapped the side of his face with her hand as if she were slapping him.

"Well why don't we try sticking it in some rice anyways? You never know if we could salvage it…"

James scoffed next to them and Kendall shot him a look. Jade seemed to finally catch on. "Right… we should try that… I'll meet you in a sec." She bit the inside of her lip as he smirked and turned to walk inside.

James grasped her hand before she followed. "Take it easy, Jade." They both glanced around to see if anyone was paying attention. James gave her a firm look. "It's just getting harder for him with time to resist _attacking_ you."

Jade pursed her lips, walking away without a word. She was brought back to a conversation she'd had with Leslie the day before as she stripped off her wet clothes at the back door.

"_No offense, Jade, but are you even sure you actually have morals?" Leslie questioned. "I mean, think about it. You've never had a real boyfriend, so who's to say your morals won't go flying out the window as soon as Kendall turns you on?"_

"_Even if I don't have strong morals, like no sex till marriage, I really do want to make sure Kendall is my guy. Like, I mean, I know he is. But I guess I just want to make sure he's here to stay." She paused. "And you act like I haven't had the urge to give in. He's-… he's…"_

"_Sexy as hell without trying? Yeah. He's probably persistent too. He probably tries a small, undetectable thing every time y'all get intimate without you even realizing it." Leslie sighed. "Jade, I know you love him. If you feel like you're ready, then there's literally nothing stopping you. And tomorrow would be the perfect time. Last night before he's gone for three weeks." Jade shook her head uncertainly, obviously not comfortable with this conversation, so Leslie backed off. She wanted to tell her friend that she only had doubts because of Logan and James telling her about Kendall's previous lifestyle, and that it was basically half their fault that Jade was scared. She didn't want Kendall to be disappointed in her inexperience. But it was Chad too. Jade continuously denied it, but Leslie knew closure with Chad was what she needed to just let go, and love Kendall._

Jade gasped as she felt hands wrap around her waist and yank her into the bathroom. "Sorry, but there's no saving your phone," Kendall murmured lowly against the back of her neck as she quickly closed the door.

She turned around in his arms, feeling him instantly attach his mouth to her jaw. "No shit," she whispered shakily, directing him to her lips instead. She unintentionally gasped against him when he pulled her body tight against his, breaking the barrier of her lips with his tongue, and grabbing her ass all at the same time. She curled a leg around him, silently urging him to pick her up, and he quickly obliged, moving her against the door.

Her hands trembled as she ran her fingers through his soft hair and drug her nails across his scalp, drawing a pleasured groan from his throat. "Jade…" Kendall mumbled incoherently. She didn't respond verbally, assuming he was just getting into it, and tried to control her breathing and tremors as he placed soft kisses near her ear. But these were different. Short and sweet. She realized he had stopped holding her against the door, too. "Jade, why are you shaking?" he whispered.

"I-I'm fine," she stammered. "Just… keep going."

He kissed her gently, carrying her over and setting her on the sink. "No," he murmured, grabbing her chin so she would meet his gaze. "Why do you insist on trying to move things forward when you're not ready, love?"

She closed her eyes, every emotion she could think of brewing under her skin. Embarrassment, frustration, anger at herself. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I thought I was-... I'm sorry.." She tried to tear out of his grip, but he wouldn't budge. Slowly, she opened her tear-filled eyes and observed the man in front of her. Everything about him looked disheveled. Thanks to Jade, his hair was sticking up in every direction, his face was splotched with color, and though he was trying to cover it up, his breathing was irregular. He was still worked up. Forcing herself not to glance down, Jade murmured. "I should go and-… I should just go." She lightly pushed him away and slid off the sink.

"Hey…" Kendall saw her shiver and quickly grabbed a towel from the shelf, placing it around her shoulders. "Wait for me in the living room? I wanna talk to you." She just nodded and turned back to kiss him once more. "Okay okay…" Kendall strained. "Time for me to take care of myself." He forced a chuckle and bolted for the shower before seeing Jade out of the room.

* * *

><p>Logan walked in on his phone, laughing hysterically. "Have you seen this shit online?" He looked up to see Kendall whispering and pecking Jade's mouth continuously, a small smile on his face. Logan scoffed. "Sorry to interrupt your failing attempt at seduction, but have you seen this?"<p>

Kendall and Jade groaned as Logan sat on their laps, intent on separating them. But then Kendall snatched the phone after he caught a glimpse of the picture. He groaned again. "Really?" He read the headline out loud. "_Cast Outing or Double Date? We'll let you decide."_ He shook his head, passing the phone to Jade.

It was a picture of Logan, Kendall, Jade, and Dianna decked out in beachwear. Logan and Jade were laughing at one another, but other than that, no indication of a date. "Wait… so they think Logan and I are together?" Jade laughed. "Hell no, I'm not insane!"

Logan shoved her onto her side, laughing sarcastically. "Scroll down, asswipe. There's more." He watched her face drop as she looked at the other pictures, seeing the focus was definitely on her and Kendall. She stopped on a rather convincing one of them sitting on the beach, hips touching, and gazing at one another. Logan rolled his eyes. "Is it that fuckin' hard to go a few hours without flirting or whatever you call that gazin' shit?"

Jade started reading some of the comments on the photos aloud. "_Kendall is definitely with the new chick—Friends don't grab friends that romantically—It's about time Kendall gets a girlfriend!"_

"Friends don't grab friends that romantically?!" Kendall reached for the phone. "What are they talking about?"

Logan leaned obnoxiously against his friend. "Probably_ that_ picture." He pointed a finger at the picture of Kendall picking Jade up from behind and spinning her around. "I mean really guys? The typical romantical move?"

"Romantical's not a word, douchebag." Jade huffed in frustration, sinking back into the couch.

Logan sighed, turning away from Kendall and leaning his head against Jade's shoulder, on the verge of a serious moment. "Jade, y'all are gonna be fine. I'd put all my money on that. People just want something to talk about. They're talking about Dianna and me, too." He shrugged awkwardly. "It's Hollywood. Our producers aren't gonna take it seriously."

Jade nodded, attempting to convince herself. Then she looked to the side at Logan. "As much as I appreciate it…" She playfully shoved him away. "Serious doesn't work for you, Logain."

* * *

><p>The next morning arrived in a flash, and Jade awoke surrounded by the scent of Kendall, and something wet attacking her face. "I know you're going to miss me but Kendall this is an unusual way to-" Her words were cut off by a soft bark. Her eyes shot open and she found herself face to face with a tan, white, and black small furry face. She gasped, sitting up abruptly, causing the tiny puppy to tumble down the comforter when she did. Jade laughed. "Aww, I'm so sorry! Come here!" She carefully picked up the dog and held it close, looking up to see Kendall sitting on the bed, beaming at her. "Is this-?"<p>

"Australian Shepherd? Uh-huh." He grinned, scooting a little closer to his girlfriend. "Her name is Daisy."

"And-… and she's mine? She's ours?" Jade nuzzled her nose against the puppy.

"She's yours. But I demand visiting rights!" Kendall joked, reaching across and tucking a loose chunk of Jade's hair behind her ear.

"Kendall, she's perfect! But… why?"

Kendall smiled sadly. "I've been searching for the right dog for you for a while now. I know you've always wanted an Australian Shepherd, and… I'm leaving today, and I thought it'd be the perfect time for you two to get acquainted." He chuckled.

"When have you had time to look for a dog?" Jade let Daisy free from her arms as she struggled to run towards Kendall.

He picked up the puppy and smiled guiltily. "Some of my late night rehearsals weren't _exactly_ as late as I said they were… one or two nights a week, I'd go to my mom's friend's house. She had a litter of these puppies that she wasn't selling or giving away, but she was willing to let me have one of them. So I spent a few weeks literally spending time with the whole litter, trying to figure out which one would be perfect for you. And wittle miss Daisy here made the cut!" He puckered his lips as Daisy excitedly licked his chin.

Jade sat herself as close to him as she could, her sheepish smile endless. "Could you please stop being so perfect?" she asked softly, leaning forward for a chaste kiss. "You spoil me."

"Would you stop calling me perfect, girl?" He smiled, setting Daisy down on his lap and taking hold of Jade's face to give her a deeper kiss. When the two didn't part for a while, Daisy started jumping around on their laps and barking. Kendall laughed. "You want some kisses too, baby girl?" he cooed, picking her back up. He held her in Jade's face. "Give mommy some kisses."

Jade blushed at the word _mommy_, immediately wondering if that would make Kendall Daisy's _daddy_, but she didn't say anything. She just giggled at the contact.

The couple spent most of their day in Kendall's bed, cuddling, playing with Daisy, kissing, pretty much anything that gave them an excuse to keep touching, memorizing the feeling of the constant spark that came with grazing fingertips or lips across one another's skin. But sooner, rather than later, it was time for the guys' car to arrive to take them to the airport.

No matter how hard she tried to fight it, Jade felt tears at the brim of her eyes as she stared up at him. She knew it was just temporary, only a few weeks, but it was still hard. In the five months they had been together, the most they'd spent apart at a time was a little over a day.

"Please don't cry, Jade," Kendall pleaded, holding her as close as he could with his arms around her waist.

She laughed through a sob. "I can't help it. I'm just gonna miss you."

"I'm gonna miss you, too. So much. _Too_ much." He pressed his lips yearningly against hers. "But I'm just a phone or video call away." He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "Every night, I will get to see your beautiful face, and _that_ is what will get me through the days. We're gonna talk every single night, okay?"

She nodded sadly, holding the hand still resting on her face, struggling with words. Now would be the perfect time to tell him she loves him. But it was all jumbled in her throat, and she hated herself for not being able to return anything but innocent affection. She couldn't give herself to him, she couldn't _tell_ him she loved him. What kind of loving girlfriend was she? And all she could think about was her stupid resistance to love, and how there were going to be hundreds of girls throwing themselves at him. She couldn't help but be that worrying girlfriend. What if she was pushing him away without even realizing it? "Just don't forget about me." She smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Her stage smile.

Kendall faltered. "You can't use that smile against me," he whispered. "I taught you that in one of our lessons."

A tear crept down from her eye. "You also blindfolded me as part of an exercise so you could control our annual kissing session…" She breathed out a laugh, not wanting either of them to dwell on negative.

Leaning his forehead against hers, he chuckled. "Yeah, I wasn't a very good teacher."

"Mmm…" She wrapped her arms tight around his neck. "Great boyfriend though." She smiled genuinely this time, gently pecking his lips three times in a row.

"There's my girl," he mumbled into her mouth, not planning to separate from her as long as he could manage.

Their final goodbye before they were to endure the next few weeks came in just a couple of minutes, and they had a hard time letting go once the moment was there. Finally, Kendall sighed and walked over to the bed to give a sweet goodbye to little Daisy, then made his way back to his girlfriend, planting a deep kiss on her lips, unleashing a world of passion on her. "Remember," he whispered breathlessly, backing away from her with her hand in his. "Miles don't mean anything. Right?"

She nodded slightly, a small sad smile set on her face as his fingers raked through hers, finally parting. "Right."

Jade felt like time slowed down the second Kendall walked out of his bedroom door, and she just sunk down into his bed, cuddling with her new puppy. Due to the recent articles about Kendall and Jade, they had all agreed it would be better for Jade to wait until nightfall to leave. Being alone in the mansion-like house freaked her out, truth be told, but she knew Leslie would be there to keep her company soon. Unlike Jade, Leslie got to see the guys off from the airport, but she was much deserving of that. While Jade got her whole day with Kendall, Leslie had to work, only managing to get off right before their departure.

The days passed painfully slow, and while Kendall got to feel the rush of performing on stage, there was still that longing in his heart and stomach, the need for Jade to be next to him only growing. He couldn't believe how much he loved that girl. And it only exceeded each day. Every time she touched him, kissed him, _looked_ at him, his heart swelled with the best feeling he knew he would ever feel.

But it was definitely getting hard for Kendall to hold himself back. He did his best to behave, to keep her comfortable, but he was a _Scorpio_ for crying out loud—a sexual being. His fantasies could only suffice for so long. And what was even worse was one, he had no idea when or if Jade would be ready to take that next step, and two, he had a friend like Logan voicing his uncensored thoughts every five seconds.

_"I think y'all just need to fuck." Logan said matter-of-factly._

_The guys groaned, simultaneously mumbling, "Logan."_

"_She has morals Logan," Kendall responded. "And I'm going to respect them."_

"_She'll crack soon enough." Logan shrugged._

"_Okay, go home, Logan. Goodbye." James shoved Logan off the armrest of the bus couch, onto the ground._

"_Oh come on! We're bros!" Logan sat up._

_But Carlos and James both knew this was pretty much still a new experience for Kendall, and he was going to need help through it. He wasn't used to relationships with depth, whereas the guys had all been in at least one. Even Logan, surprisingly enough._

"_Okay, okay, sorry," Logan mumbled as he took a seat back in his spot. "Well, then, what exactly are her _morals_," he said the word as if it were disgusting. "Like, no sex till marriage? Or just no sex until she fuckin' can't handle it anymore? Or…?"_

_Kendall grimaced. "I don't know…" he murmured. "That's probably the worst part about it."_

* * *

><p>With only four days left to go, Jade was at her breaking point. Missing Kendall and homesickness had her weak. She'd gotten a call from her cousin John a couple of days before, telling her how he was getting to go home for a day or two unexpectedly. It hit her then that she hadn't seen her family or Texas friends in six and a half to seven months. Her Texas friends didn't even know about her and Kendall.<p>

She knew she was being ridiculous, but she felt like she was slipping into a depression. She didn't know why she didn't plan some kind of vacation during this long break. She'd even resorted to spending a day with Kathryn and Blakely, whom Jade had quickly grown apart from—she and Kathryn ended up just not clicking as friends, and she and Blakely just never tried.

And soon, Kendall's mom was trying to come to the rescue. She planned a whole day for herself and Jade, having her bring Daisy out to the house to play with the Schmidt's other pets. They went out for lunch, did a little shopping, some gardening, and Momma Schmidt taught Jade how to cook one of Kendall's favorite meals.

"Thank you so much for today, Kathy." Jade hugged the woman. "I had a really great time."

"Oh, anything for you, sweetie. You are, after all, the light in my youngest son's life." She beamed at Jade.

Jade blushed. "He's the light in mine." She paused. "I love your son very much."

Mrs. Schmidt nearly jumped for joy and cried all at the same time. "Now why are you having such a hard time telling _him_ that, my dear?"

"I don't know…" Jade shook her head shamefully. "It's different, I guess, talking about it with other people. But once I get around him, as much as I want to just tell him… I choke up."

"It'll come, Jade darling. That perfect moment. It'll be a moment when you just let go of everything holding you back, even if only for a few seconds. Those few seconds that you just forget your fears and let yourself be free are your golden moments." She stroked Jade's hair endearingly. "Don't force those golden moments Jade. Let them happen, and embrace them."


	11. Hometown

**11 – Hometown **- _"No, I don't just want any pretty face—I wanna wake up next to yours each day. Baby, won't you be my saving grace, tonight?" – The Cab (Intoxicated)_

Kendall stepped over the threshold of his home, dropping his bags by the door and soaking in his surroundings. His nose picked up the scent of his favorite Italian dish floating from the kitchen, and heard someone bustling around. He looked back with a grin at Dustin as he walked in. "Well what are you waiting for? Go see your lady!" Dustin shoved his best friend encouragingly.

Kendall crept towards the kitchen, stopping and leaning against the doorframe, watching the girl he'd missed dearly anxiously stir the sauce in the pot on the stove. He took a deep breath, a glimpse of his future seeming to flash before his eyes; a vision of what it would be like to be married, and have a family. He bit his lip anxiously, still gazing hard at Jade. "So what's on the menu tonight?" he called out.

Jade gasped, spinning around and practically lunging at him. Both with wide smiles spread across their faces, Jade jumped up, immediately curling her legs around his waist, and leaned down to plant an elated kiss to his lips. "You were supposed to call me when you landed!" she exclaimed with a laugh, truly just ecstatic that she was back in his arms as she pushed the hair back from his forehead and kissed him again.

"I like surprising you," he murmured with a grin. "You have the cutest surprised face." He attempted to imitate the expression he was talking about, but was too tired to succeed, and they both laughed.

"Good God, Kendall, put her down!" Dustin exclaimed half-jokingly as he walked past the doorway. "You two are not in _The_ _Notebook_. Normal people do not greet each other and converse like that."

"Nice to see you too, Dustin. Mind letting me know what's stuck up your ass?" Jade called after him.

"Goodnight, Jade!" Dustin yelled back, continuing the walk to his room.

Jade laughed, shaking her head and bringing her attention back to her boyfriend. He was watching her with tired, but content eyes, a toothless grin set upon his face. Before he dropped her out of mere exhaustion, he carried her over to the kitchen island to set her down, settling between her legs and gently rubbing her sides. She sighed happily, tracing his lips lightly with her index finger. "I've missed you so much."

"Not as much as I missed you," he muttered, beckoning her to kiss him. "Mm I've missed _that_ too…"

She giggled and kissed him again. "Go get settled or something," she said. "Dinner is almost ready."

He shook his head stubbornly. "Forget dinner. I wanna stay right here with you." He slid his arms around her waist and pulled her as close as possible.

She softly kissed the tip of his nose. "As much as I love the sound of that, you are _not_ forgetting dinner, because this is what your mom taught me how to make while you were gone, and I've worked really hard on it, so…" She smirked, pushing him away from her. "Let me finish."

Kendall huffed in defeat, helping her slide down from the countertop, and watched her walk back over to the stove, checking the various things in the pots and pans. Then she grabbed a pan of breadsticks she had prepared, shoved them into the oven, and set a timer, still observing everything else.

Kendall didn't know what it was about her cooking that he found so adorable. Maybe her determination. He smiled as she started stirring the sauce again and walked up behind her, resting his hands on her hips. "It smells amazing," he murmured, kissing the shell of her ear. He felt her shudder and grinned.

"Well thank you," she replied sweetly, slightly leaning back into his embrace, never taking her eyes from the cooking contents.

"Mhmm." He planted a kiss on the side of her neck, and then her shoulder, gently rocking the both of them back and forth. He sighed contently and rested his lips against the back of her neck, holding them there as he watched her finish up dinner.

"So how screwed up is your sleep?" Jade asked as she and Kendall took a seat next to each other on the living room couch with their plates of food.

He shrugged. "We tried to fix it today, by not sleeping, but I think it's backfiring." He leaned against her. "I haven't slept in almost 24 hours, and I was on a plane for a good chunk of that."

"And you're about five seconds from crashing and it's not even four o'clock yet." Jade laughed lightly.

Kendall nodded in agreement. "And eating could push me in either direction. I'm either gonna crash, or it's gonna keep me up for a while longer." He took a bite of the noodles on his plate. "Thank you for making dinner so early," he mumbled through a mouthful.

She just kissed his temple, and they continued eating in silence. Once Jade finished, she set her plate down and faced Kendall, having something to say. He asked her what was on her mind, so she moved forward with it. "I'm… going home for a couple of days."

Kendall paused. "W-when?"

"…The day after tomorrow."

"Oh…" Kendall tried not to seem sad as he looked back at his food.

"Wait, no!" She grabbed his arm. "I want you to come with me."

He perked up with a small smile. "Oh!"

"It's just, I really should've planned a trip while everyone was going to be gone, and I don't know why I didn't. But John called last week, and he's going home for a couple of days, and I really miss him and the rest of my family. It just kind of hit me that it's been so long since I've seen them." She shrugged. "They're throwing John and I a sort of Welcome Home party thing, and I really want you to come and meet them." She smiled hopefully. "So will you come?"

He grinned, setting his plate down and facing her properly. "Of course I'll go with you!" He took his hands in hers, holding them on his lap. "I mean, you've known my family for five months now. It's only fair I finally meet yours."

She beamed at him proudly. "Good," she murmured. "Our tickets are sorta already bought. I just don't know what to do about Daisy."

Kendall chuckled. "If you don't want to bring her, my mom will gladly take care of her."

"Really? I don't want to impose…"

"No seriously." Kendall shook his head. "She called me after you spent the day with her a few days ago and after she got done raving about how amazing _you_ are," he grinned when he noticed Jade's cheeks flush with color. "She went on about how much she loved Daisy and was so glad I picked such a perfect dog et cetera et cetera. I eventually had to remind her that she had three adorable sons and they enjoyed compliments and love as much as you and Daisy," he joked.

Jade laughed. "Okay, so Daisy's taken care of. So, we're all set then? You're going to Texas with me?"

He nodded, pulling her towards him with a smile. "I'm going to Texas with you."

* * *

><p>"I'm gonna go find a bathroom." Kendall kissed Jade's cheek and released her waist as they walked towards the house. They could see a small crowd of people over under a covered area.<p>

She laughed softly. It seemed like they had been traveling for days, even though they left LA that morning. "I'll take you to one."

He shook his head. "Just tell me where to go, and then go see everyone. I know you want to."

She bit her lip, nodding excitedly. She directed him to the nearest bathroom once he made it through the front door, and he was off. But she couldn't think about eating or using the bathroom at this moment; she was back in _Texas_, back in her hometown, and her family was a mere hundred feet away. She didn't think she'd ever miss this place so much, and it only seemed fitting to come back the same time as her cousin, and she was glad she did. She could smell the country-ness of John's father's house she loved dearly; the acres upon acres of grass, the pond, the horses, the _barbeque._

Pulling herself out of her thoughts, Jade saw her mom and dad hurrying towards her with open arms. She gasped and ran to them. They smothered her, but, for once, she didn't mind. When they were finished, she took a step back to look at them, and they did the same. Her parents looked the same as ever; tall, green and brown eyes, stray gray hairs poking above the artificially colored parts, and glorious smiles. She had only been gone a little over seven months, but she expected _something_ to be different.

"Jade! You look so good! Look at your hair!" Mrs. Thomas exclaimed, picking up a few strands of her daughter's hair.

"Hollywood's not changing you too much now, is it?" Mr. Thomas smirked.

"Of course not, Daddy." Jade smiled. "I fell into a pretty grounded group of people."

Mrs. Thomas gasped. "Speaking of! _Where _is that boy of yours?! I want to meet hi-"

"JAAAAADE!" Jade looked past her parents to see her, now extra-buff, cousin waving crazily.

"John!" She laughed and looked back at her parents. "You can meet Kendall when he comes back out Mom. He's inside taking a much needed bathroom break. He'll be out soon!" With that, she took off towards John, throwing her arms around him in a hug.

Her cousin laughed, picking her up off the ground for a moment, then grabbed her shoulders and held her at arm's length. "Look at you!" he said with a smile. "It looks like Hollywood has already changed my little cousin!"

Jade shook her head. "I may _look_ a little different, but I'm still the same old me. Promise!" She grinned.

"You better be." John looked her up and down. "You've lost weight!"

"Yeah well you're even more muscle-y now!" She grabbed his arm, jokingly making a disgusted face.

She heard laughter around, suddenly realizing that all of her friends were there. "Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed, not knowing who to go to first.

"It's about time you notice us!" Wes yelled, then smiled, moving towards her first.

"I've missed you guys so much!"

Many exchanges and hugs were had, along with Ace's spastic, "LOOK AT OUR LITTLE CELEBRITY!" even though Jade insisted she wasn't even really known in Hollywood yet because only one of her episodes had aired so far.

"Um yes you are known!" Ace exclaimed. "We've seen you in a few tabloids! Something about dating one of your co-stars or something, but we all know that's not true! It's me you want, right?" Ace winked overdramatically, and Jade blew that comment off with a laugh and made her way through all of her friends. She still hadn't told them about Kendall.

Finally Jade made it to the last person: Josh. She squealed and hugged him tight. He laughed. "Twice in less than a year. We're on a roll," he said.

She laughed. "Hell yeah we a-…" Her voice faded as a figure stood up behind Josh. A figure she'd known close to a year ago, that she thought she'd never see again.

Everyone around grew quiet and Josh stepped aside. Jade couldn't speak.

"Hey…" Chad chewed on his bottom lip nervously.

Jade gaped at him, expressionless, and they stared at each other for what seemed like forever. Was this _real? _All these memories and emotions that Jade had managed to somewhat forget came rushing back in nanoseconds, almost smothering her. It took her all to maintain normal breathing and posture, and she could feel the pressure of everyone's eyes on them, which didn't help.

Just when she thought she was going to break down, she heard her name being called. Her gaze snapped in that direction and she saw her mom waving her over; Kendall had come back outside. Without a word, and without looking back, Jade hurried away from the group of people she suddenly couldn't handle being around anymore, taking deep breaths, and hoping the acting classes she'd had to take would pay off in the next few seconds.

But surprisingly, she didn't need to act. As soon as the security of Kendall's hand enwrapped hers, she began to calm down. Holding hands was something special for them, since they never got to go out, they didn't have many _hold_ _hands_ moments. She put on a smile and he rubbed her hand with his thumb as they talked to Mr. and Mrs. Thomas.

With relief, Jade saw that they loved Kendall already; they beamed at him as if he had been just what they were looking for in life. She squeezed his hand reassuringly and he glanced at her with a smile. Though he'd never admit it, Jade knew he was nervous about meeting her family, especially all in one day; it was a big step for both of them.

But no matter how much she wished it would, all of this didn't completely distract her from what happened, what was _happening_, where her friends were gathered. She knew every single pair of eyes were on her and Kendall, watching, because she hadn't told any of them they were together. There had been a few magazine and online articles about them, as Ace had mentioned before, but it was all, truly, gossip, and obviously Jade's friends didn't believe any of it.

But more than anything, she knew Chad would be zoned in on her and Kendall's entwined hands.

"Jade? You…there?"

Jade looked at her mom, taking a moment to process her surroundings again, clearly. "Sorry," she said. "What'd you say?"

Now it was Kendall's turn to squeeze _her_ hand; he could tell something was bothering her, no doubt.

"I just commented on what Kendall said about how y'all don't have much drama on set. That must be nice!" Mrs. Thomas said.

"Oh, yes ma'am." Jade smiled. "I love it. It's pretty laid back. Everyone gets along."

"So you'll be playing Kendall's love interest?" her mom asked.

"My oh _my_ that was a quick subject change." Jade and Kendall laughed. "You were just dying to ask, weren't you, Mom?" Mrs. Thomas blushed. "Yes, Mom. I'll be playing Kendall's love interest on the show."

"She's doing great, by the way." Kendall beamed. "Everyone on set loves her." Jade shook her head with a smile.

"I'm so glad to hear that," Mrs. Thomas said with a smile. "Well, we're gonna go inside, kids. Come inside later to see everyone, and introduce Kendall to them!" Her smile only grew. "Go visit with your friends first, though."

"Alright, Mom." Jade kissed her on the cheek and watched her parents walk away.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Kendall faced her. "What's wrong?" His deep concern was adorable to her.

"What makes you think something's wrong?" she asked.

"When you first walked up, you looked like you were about to have a _heart_ attack. And when you zoned out in mid conversation… I could just tell something was bothering you."

Jade couldn't help but smile. No one had ever really paid as much attention to her as Kendall, and it was still taking some getting used to. She shook her head, a small smile still on her face, then stepped forward and kissed him softly. Right before she pulled away, she felt his hand on her cheek, and he kept it there as he looked at her. "Ya know that doesn't get you out of telling me what's wrong." He raised his eyebrows.

"Chad's here." Jade sighed.

Kendall stiffened. "You're kidding, right?"

She shook her head. "I wish I was."

"What does uh-… what should we-…" Kendall hesitated. "How do you feel about that?"

"It just brings back a lot of painful memories, and really caught me off guard. I had no idea he was going to be here." She shook her head. "It was a lot to handle at once."

Kendall nodded. "Did seeing him… bring back any-…"

"Kendall…" Jade groaned exasperatedly. She grabbed his hands, entwining their fingers. "_You're_ my guy. Not him."

He just nodded again. "Should I beat his ass?" he asked nonchalantly.

"No!" She laughed, shaking her head.

"There's my girl." Kendall smiled and kissed her cheek. Suddenly, in a gallant, knightly voice, he exclaimed, "Well forget that jerk! I say it's time to introduce me to those friends of yours. We'll have a jolly good time!"

"Kendall…" Jade just looked at him, trying not to let laughter escape her lips.

"Okay, let's go." He laughed and pulled her close by her hand.

The walk towards John and her friends was terrifying for Jade. She felt as if every force in the world was pushing her back, wanting her to run in the opposite direction. But she trudged forward against the weight of the world.

They reached John first, who suddenly seemed much more buff and bold than he had five minutes ago. "John!" Jade smiled. "I'd uh… this is Kendall. My boyfriend!"

"Hey, what's up?" Kendall said casually with a smile.

John was silent. The longer he didn't say anything, the more Jade began to panic, until suddenly a huge smile broke out on her cousin's face. "He _better_ be your boyfriend!" He winked at Kendall and shook his hand.

Jade breathed a sigh of relief, and as if everyone had needed John's approval before reacting, her friends jumped up and began introducing themselves one by one; even Chad stepped forward. Jade just watched him, abnormally calm about what was happening in front of her. "Hey man, I'm Chad." he said, holding his hand out.

"Sup dude, I'm Kendall." Jade could almost see Kendall fighting the urge to punch him in the face.

Chad met Jade's eyes before he stepped away, and she gave him a small, thankful nod, for being mature towards the situation.

Suddenly, the three standing there realized everyone had grown quiet.

"So…" Kendall broke the silence. "Who wants to teach me how to party Texas style?" Everyone laughed and cheered. "I've only been to this great state once before, you know." He winked at Jade.

She blushed. That was true. The only time he'd been to Texas was the night he met her.

It didn't take long for everyone to get comfortable around Kendall, and vice-versa. Soon enough, the music was as loud as it could be, and everyone was dancing around each other like they had no cares in the world.

Deciding to take a short break, Jade left Kendall's side to go in and visit with her family, figuring she could just introduce her boyfriend to them later.

She stayed longer than she planned; everyone wanted to know about _everything_; LA, the people, where she lives, the set, the show. Jade thought she was going to be in there forever, but she kept descriptions as short as possible. Just when she figured it was time to introduce Kendall, as if he could read her mind, he walked in through the front door. "Nice timing." Jade beamed.

Kendall smiled the dorky smile she loved. "Hello everyone." He waved and walked forward.

"Everyone… this is Kendall, my boyfriend." Everyone except Mr. and Mrs. Thomas stood up to greet him properly.

Kendall went around to each of the family members, shaking their hands, until lastly, he reached Jade's grandmother, whom he'd heard more about than her own parents.

He was about a foot taller than the elderly woman; she was tiny. He stopped in front of her and looked at her for a second, smiled the most caring smile that Jade had ever seen, then hugged her gently. Jade heard her grandmother let out a surprised "Oh!" then she laughed and patted his back.

Jade could've cried at the look of delight on her grandmother's face. A smile was a rare occurrence ever since her grandfather died a couple of years back, and the fact that Kendall could put a smile like that back on her Meme's face gave Jade the happiest feeling she'd had in years.

Jade saw her mom's hand holding her heart at the sight, then she looked at her daughter and mouthed "He's definitely a keeper."

Jade let out a broken laugh with tears in her eyes as everyone around fell into conversations. When Kendall heard the sound, he looked at her, smiling softly, then turned back to her grandmother and aunt as they spoke to him.

Standing there, watching, admiring him, Jade thought about the things she and Kendall had been through; all he had done for her, which was _a lot._ Images flashed through her head like a movie and she couldn't help but smile as she remembered the night they met, when he sang to her from stage, the day they first kissed…

Hearing Kendall's loud laugh broke her out of her thoughts, and she saw her aunt wink at him, then he walked towards her. "Ready to go back outside?" he asked. She just nodded and took his hand, leading him outside onto the front porch instead of through the back, then stopped and faced him. Kendall started speaking, "I-" but Jade's lips prevented him from saying anymore.

Jade laced her fingers through his hair, knocking his beanie onto the ground, and she felt him smile as he pulled her by the hips and leaned deeper into the kiss.

Not separating herself from him, but whispering against his lips, Jade said, "Whatever brought your attention to me that night in Dallas, I don't think I've ever been more thankful for anything in my life."

"Something in me just… knew." Kendall murmured. He took a breath while Jade clung to him. "Even if I was in denial after I met you, a part of me knew you were going to be the one to save me…"

Jade shook her head. "Why me?"

"From the stage, you looked like you didn't have a care in the world… we made eye contact, and you just smiled. Every other girl in that place before flailed, freaked, or whatever.."

"And after?"

"There was no after with other girls, because after, I only had eyes for you."

"I just…" She looked like she was doubting herself.

"You were _real."_ Kendall let go of her hips and grabbed her face instead. "I still can't get over how real you are. You may be a little smaller, and your hair a little different, but you're still the same small town Texas girl with the same attitude and outlook on the world." He smiled. "Hollywood hasn't changed you, not one bit, and that's just one of the many things I love about you."

"But look at _you_," Jade said, wrapping her arms around his neck. "You've been involved, what? Your whole life? And you're still this amazing, sweet, down-to-earth guy..."

"You're missing my point." Kendall grinned, but couldn't help but feel uneasy because he _hadn't _always been that guy, and she knew that. "You're perfect for me."

Slowly leaning in, Kendall moved towards her lips, foreheads touching first, then noses, and finally their lips. Something about the way he was kissing her showed Jade that he was right for her, showed that he had no intention of leaving her, that he loved her. And this was it. As soon as this perfect kiss ended she was going to tell him that she _loves_ him. How _much_ she loves him.

But suddenly the passion changed and Kendall pulled away, clearing his throat.

Almost in a daze, Jade looked around to find Chad standing there. "I-I'm sorry," he stammered. "I was just-… coming to make… a call."

"Oh! No..." Jade murmured, picking her boyfriend's beanie up from the ground, at the same time Kendall said, "It's fine."

"We should probably get back to the party anyways." Kendall shrugged.

"Yeah, you're right." Jade nodded, grabbing his hand, and with one glance at Chad, she led Kendall around the house and to the party.

"Well that was awkward." Kendall looked at Jade and raised his eyebrows, but laughed as she got behind him, sliding his beanie onto his head for him. He looked at her, making a face, and she laughed when she saw the beanie reached his eyebrows.

As Kendall adjusted his beanie, Jade sighed. "Thank you for behaving and not beating the crap out of him."

"I wouldn't do that to you." He shrugged. "Maybe another time," he added jokingly.

Jade shoved him playfully, but before she could say anything, they reached the party and John yelled, "Ayy!" and came to them. "Where have y'all been?"

"I just introduced him to the wonderful fam." Jade smiled. "They loved him."

"Well was there ever any doubt?" John winked.

Jade looked at her boyfriend, amused to see that he was blushing slightly. "No doubt at all."

* * *

><p>More people arrived as the evening grew darker. Friends trickled in, and family trickled out.<p>

When the night was coming to a close, a couple of Jade's friends, Bri and Liz, stole Kendall away for a while to "evaluate" him; to make sure he was _good enough_ for Jade, so she was sitting alone for the time being, enjoying the atmosphere of her cousin's much-missed country home, and smiling or laughing when she saw someone do something stupid.

It wasn't long before her cousin plopped down next to her, getting right to business. "So Chad's here."

"Yeah, _about_ that!" Jade turned to him. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

John looked down uneasily. "I was afraid you weren't going to come. I didn't find out he was coming until he got here. Ace dragged him along. I figured if I gave you a heads up, you'd turn right around and go back to your life in California."

"I still would've come. Putting me on the spot was _way_ worse." She shook her head in exasperation.

John looked like he didn't believe her. "You would've come?"

"John…" Jade gazed over in her dancing boyfriend's direction pointedly. "Kendall is all I need. As long as I have him with me, I-I think I can withstand anything." She sighed. "Chad is in my past."

Her cousin was silent for a moment. "I'm sorry," he finally said. "I'm not making this any easier, am I?"

"It's not _hard."_ Jade laughed humorlessly. "John, it was way too unexpected, and it's awkward. That's _all."_ She was becoming frustrated now. Was it not obvious how ridiculously happy she was now compared to how she was when Chad left?

He didn't seem to know what to say. All she knew was he looked like he didn't believe her. "Well, if Chad tries to talk to you, do you want me to do something about it? Or do you want to talk to him?"

"Let him talk to me, John. I've moved on and so should he. There's no chance for him anymore."

Leaving her alone, John just trudged away. Jade leaned back in her chair, aggravated. She wanted Kendall back, but she knew how her friends were. They'd release him to her when _they _were ready. In her peripheral view, Jade saw someone approaching, but didn't pay any mind, until the figure tapped her gently on the shoulder, standing over her. She looked up. "Chad?"

"Can we just talk?" he asked. "Please?"

"Yeah… sure." Jade stood up and felt like eyes were burning holes in her back as she and Chad walked away, towards the pond.

Jade led the way and plopped down on her favorite spot before realizing this was _their_ favorite spot; a place they used to go if they actually had time away from the country club. It had been sort of special place for them, and she instantly regretted sitting there.

Jade shifted uncomfortably at the memories, wishing she'd have been thinking before she sat down. She looked around at the street-like lights that lit up the whole area and drew her knees up to her chest, resting her chin there as Chad sat down about a foot away, then she laid her head down completely and looked at him.

He met her eyes, and they stayed staring longer than either one realized. "You look different," Chad spoke first.

"Is that bad?"

He shrugged. Silence again.

"Go ahead and ask me about him." Jade murmured. "I know you want to."

Chad sighed. "You're okay with being in magazines and tabloids because of him?"

"It doesn't bother me. I mean it does, because the producers can't know about us, so we have to play off everything saying it's just compromising pictures. But he and I know what's true, and what's not. Besides, once I get more than one episode aired on TV, it won't just be because of him."

Chad smiled. "You're gonna kill 'em with that kind of attitude. They won't know what to do with you." But then his smile faltered. "So y'alls directors or whatever really can't know about y'all?"

She smiled back, trying not to look uncomfortable. "That would be why I made a PSA to all of our friends earlier. I wasn't lying."

Chad's expression went blank, hiding emotions. "So… what all is… true? That's been in the magazines.."

"How much have you seen?"

He hesitated. "…All of it." Jade just looked at him, surprised. "Ace and I started hanging out a lot again lately once he transferred to SOU—we live together—and would always come in, magazine in hand.. _Jade's in this one too!"_ Chad shook his head as if the memories were painful.

Jade took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Well," she said. "I can definitely say Kendall and I are _not_ engaged. Just dating." She laughed softly. "Um, he's not cheating on me, because, actually, on that particular article, it was my body and some random chicks head." Chad laughed, shaking his head.

"Hollywood," they said in unison.

They were peacefully silent for a moment, then Chad bit his lip, almost hesitant, and softly, he asked, "What about the ones that say you're in love?"

Jade could've screamed.


	12. Closure

**12 – Closure - **_"I'd still be blind if you weren't with me; you're the only one who opens up my eyes. 'Cause I've never loved anything like I love you." – The Summer Set (Mona Lisa)_

Kendall excused himself from Jade's friends, still laughing at the things they had done and said. Without even having to think about it, he went right to the spot he had left his girlfriend, only to find her chair empty. "Jade?" he murmured to himself. He had no idea how long he had been dancing with her friends, but he figured she hadn't gone far.

He turned in place, looking around for her, until his eyes finally landed on the two figures sitting at the pond. He knew it was Jade right off the bat, but his heart dropped when he realized with her, was Chad.

Kendall walked slowly to the end of the deck and leaned against a rail, watching them and feeling himself become glummer by the second. He saw them smile at each other, and his shoulders slouched a little. It's not that he really felt jealous, at least he didn't think so, just a bit uncertain.

"You don't have anything to worry about, you know." Kendall was surprised he didn't jump at the unexpected sound of John's deep, loud voice. Kendall just stood there, without a word. "I'm serious." John added, stepping up next to him.

"You're so sure about that," Kendall murmured, barely glancing at his girlfriend's large cousin.

John sighed. "Let's just say I have a sort of process with Jade when I'm trying to figure out what's going through her head. She's not going back to him, man." When Kendall didn't respond, he approached the situation differently. "Look man, I didn't think she'd ever get over that night. And here she is, over it, and happier than I've ever seen her."

"And what makes you so sure she won't want him back?" The uneasy knot in Kendall's stomach wasn't completely gone; he knew he could trust Jade with his all, but he was the perfect example of how people can't control how they feel about someone. Her feelings for Chad could've easily come back at the sight of him.

"She doesn't trust him." John shook his head. "She could become best friends with him again, but she'd never trust him enough to be something more." Kendall looked at the buff man next to him, knowing he was right; it just _sounded_ like Jade. "You're good for her. She needs you."

* * *

><p>Jade just sat, frozen and silent. <em>Please someone come save me from this conversation!<em> It only got worse when Chad didn't give up. "Have you told him you love him?"

Jade shook her head slowly. "No…"

"Has… he told you..?"

"Once," she whispered, wanting to disappear immediately.

"_Do_ you love him?" he pressed.

And Jade answered honestly, her building frustration making her more presumptuous. "Yeah, I do."

"More than you loved me?" He stared her down.

Jade huffed in disbelief, standing up to walk away from him. "I didn't love you Chad, I just thought I did."

He jumped up to follow her. "You really believe that?"

She whipped around, ready to hit him in honor of Kendall. "Chad, we led each other on for a year and a half. A _year and a half_ of flirting and doing _nothing_ even though we knew how we felt about each other. To me, that's not real. You know how many potentially uninterrupted opportunities I had to kiss you, and I never did?!"

"Yeah, but that's just how you are; you don't make the first move-"

"Yeah? Then why did I kiss Kendall after just a month?" He gaped at her in disbelief. "Yeah, Chad. We flirted a lot more than you and I did. My feelings were, are, a lot stronger than they were for you. _I _made the first move with him. _Me_-"

"Okay, I get it!" Chad cut her off abruptly, his posture slacking slightly. "So what? You're saying we didn't care about each other?"

"No, I'm not saying that!" Jade groaned. "You _left_, Chad! How was I supposed to handle that?" He mumbled something incoherently, and she narrowed her eyes, catching some of it. "What did you just say?"

He sighed, obviously frustrated, and said louder, "I thought you would wait for me."

"You have got to be kidding me!" She scoffed. "You _kiss_me after a year and a half of tension and flirting, then tell me you're up and leaving suddenly to _New York_. You didn't know when or if you were coming back. And you didn't say _anything_ about attempting to salvage whatever it was that we had. You changed your fucking number and deleted your Facebook. I mean, really? But I was supposed to _wait for you_? When you didn't give me a _reason_ to?!"

"It was hard for me, too. Hard to let you go," Chad muttered.

"Bullshit! You did it without a second thought!" Jade heard footsteps approaching slowly, reluctantly, from behind, but ignored them.

"You could've fought for me!"

"Gah, have you always been this _annoying_?" She felt a familiar hand on the small of her back. "Is that what you wanted me to do, Chad? Fight for you to stay? Guess what! _I can't read minds_!"

"I would've stayed," Chad said. "If you'd asked me to."

"_No_ you wouldn't have!" She threw her hands up in exasperation. "If you had cared nearly as much as you're pretending to right now, you would've at least _tried_ to come check on me after I ran from you. But you didn't. You just sat on your _ass_ and let me leave!" Kendall gripped her shirt in his fist as if holding her in place. "I cried for days, for _months_ because of you. Not once did you try to talk to me.

"Shutting me out didn't have to be an option. I live in California now, and maybe I don't get to see my friends here like I used to, but I still talk to them, and we're _still friends._" She sighed, shaking her head. "I guess what I'm trying to say is… you're an idiot."

"And here I thought the conversation was taking a turn." Chad glared uncertainly at her.

"Yeah, well you were wrong. As usual. You're wrong about that, you were wrong about _me_, and you were wrong for coming here tonight."

"Yeah, I think it's time to go, Chad." John stepped up, and Jade was surprised to see him. She knew Kendall was behind her, but she didn't realize her cousin was too.

Jade felt herself calm down tremendously, and reached behind her to take Kendall's hand from her shirt and hold it in hers. "I guess a thank you is in order," Kendall suddenly called out to Chad, who had begun following John back towards the house. He turned, obviously torn on whether to glare, or let himself be confused by the statement. Kendall continued, "Well if you hadn't bought those tickets to my show and then dumped her like the asshole you are, I probably never would've met the love of my life. So… thanks." The smuggest smirk he could muster settled on his face. If he couldn't hit the guy, why not verbally assault him and his feelings? Chad just rolled his eyes and trudged away, and Jade cracked a smile at the look of triumphant victory on her boyfriend's face.

Closure reveals itself in many different forms. Some believe it to be a mutual thing, but there are special cases, like Jade. Maybe she didn't get a happy, friendship ending with Chad like she had hoped and expected, but she was free. She had seen now, especially with him and Kendall in the same vicinity, the difference in her feelings for the two. Chad was now truly just a chapter in her past, and Kendall had the potential to be in every chapter of her future. And unlike Chad, she finally saw Kendall was there to stay.

* * *

><p>With the promise of lunch the next day, Jade insisted to her cousin and friends that it was time for her and Kendall to head out to their hotel when the clock reached 2AM.<p>

The fifteen minute drive in their small rental car Jade's mom had gotten for them to the hotel was silent and peaceful between the young couple. Kendall drove with one hand on the wheel, the other rested on Jade's knee, lightly drawing on her skin with his long fingers, a habit he'd picked up from her, as he hummed along to the Incubus song flowing through the speakers.

They often had moments like this; quiet ones, but they both secretly loved when it happened. To them it proved they were close in a sense that they didn't need to find themselves scrambling for conversation, because just being with each other was enough.

Jade let her eyes slide shut, inhaling deeply, exhaling softly, taking in the moment, cherishing the comfortable silence. Everything was different now. Her eyes only opened when she felt her boyfriend's soft lips against her cheek. "We're here," he whispered in her ear.

Surprised, she looked around. She hadn't even noticed the car stop. Her eyelids felt heavy, which made her realize she had fallen asleep, even if only for a minute or two. "I think..." she muttered incoherently. "..I dozed off for a minute there…" Her eyelids threatened to shut again as she slowly undid her seatbelt, hearing Kendall chuckle a little.

As if time sped up, or didn't exist, Jade became aware of her door being opened, as Kendall, bag slung over shoulder, gently grabbed her hand and helped her out of the car. "You, my love," he said as he closed her car door for her. "..are lucky we can take an elevator, because _I_ am so exhausted, I can barely carry this bag, so I don't know if I could make it all the way upstairs carrying _you_ as well."

A lazy smile upon her face, Jade did her best to wake herself up long enough to get to their room. Kendall laughed at the obvious struggle plastered across her face, and kissed her cheek again. "Come on, Jade. You can do it," he lightly joked.

Jade took a deep breath and rubbed her tired eyes with her free hand, temporarily relieving the heaviness, and with Kendall by her side, started forward. And before Jade knew it, Kendall was pulling out their room keycard to open the door. They trudged inside and Jade immediately plopped down on the King-sized bed, burying her face in the feather down pillow, murmuring something about how great it felt to lie down.

Kendall, amused, shook his head with a smile, dropping their bag by the door and moving to the foot of the bed. Gently, he took her right ankle in his hand, sliding her shoe off, and did the same for her left. She muttered something that he figured was a "thank you," and he kicked off his own shoes, quickly finding his plaid cotton pants to sleep in, and slipped out of his shirt.

He grabbed a blanket from the closet, since Jade hadn't bothered to pull back the covers before she plopped down, and flicked the light switch off. Crawling onto the bed carefully, he pulled the blanket over the both of them as he lay on his side, facing her. Kendall took a deep breath, settling as close as he could to her, feeling his eyelids begin to droop.

Jade snuggled closer to him, their faces inches away from the other. Barely audible, she slurred what sounded an awful lot like an _I love you_ in her sleep. Kendall's eyes shot open, surprised, but it didn't take long for a small smile to form on his face and he kissed her nose softly, draping an arm over her, settling into a nice, deep sleep.

With the way the couple fell asleep, neither thought to set an alarm to prepare for their lunch with Jade's friends and family. So when Kendall jolted awake at 10:53AM and saw the time, he immediately grabbed Jade's shoulder, gently shaking it. "Jade," he whispered. "Jade." He got in her face. "Jade!" His voice was just above a whisper, until he finally yelled, "JADE!"

The only thing that moved on her body was her eyelids as they shot open. "Hi." Kendall pecked her on the lips. "It's almost eleven and we both need to shower!" Jade groaned, rolling onto her back. She rubbed her eyes. "You should probably go first, Jade…" Kendall muttered as he noticed his girlfriend dozing off again. "So you can do your… hair… JADE."

"I'm up. I'm up." Slowly dragging, Jade sat up, covering her face with her hands and shaking her head. Eyes half-open, she turned her head to look at Kendall, who was still lying down, and saw she had pulled the blanket off of him, revealing his bare chest and stomach. She giggled.

Kendall rolled his eyes. "Right, like you've never seen me shirtless before."

She shrugged and dragged herself off the bed, throwing the blanket back on Kendall before she walked away. "I'll be out in ten," she murmured, still attempting to wake herself up.

Kendall spent a few minutes trying to float back into a light sleep once his girlfriend made it into the bathroom, but then his eyes slowly opened as he remembered what she said in her sleep right before he drifted off the night before. _I love you._ Had that really happened? Did he dream it, maybe? Kendall racked his brain, desperately trying to remember every little detail. "What if she didn't even say that?" he murmured to himself. He _had_ been extra tired; he could've very well imagined it.

_And even if Jade really had said it, it's not like she'd remember it, right?_ He frowned.

Conflicted, he heard the water shut off and sat up, trying to pull himself out of his feelings. He grabbed his phone and started aimlessly going through it, noticing a couple of new text messages. As he was in the middle of pulling one up from Carlos, his gaze drifted up at the sound of the bathroom door opening, steam literally rolling out. He chuckled, but cut himself short when Jade stepped out only covered in a towel. He swallowed. Hard.

She didn't even acknowledge his existence, which could've been a good thing for him; she just went about her business, ruffling her hair in the mirror, pulling clothes out of their bag.

_When did she become this comfortable around me?_ They were adults, sure, but moving slowly through the relationship was fairly easy with Jade, and something they were good at—_most_ of the time. But Jade still wouldn't change in front of Kendall, and certainly would never walk out in front of him with only a towel covering herself—besides when she did in on accident one day, and it took her a while to recover from that "embarrassment." But Kendall actually found it refreshing sometimes that they had started things out right.

But all sentimental thoughts aside, Kendall was a _guy_, a guy that could only hold in his desires for so long. He had felt the sexual tension rising between them as of late; hot feelings, steamy kisses. Ever since he'd gotten home from tour. Kendall felt drops of perspiration form on the back of his neck at the thoughts. "Do you know where my toothbrush is?" Jade's soft voice cut in to her boyfriend's sudden fantasy, still not noticing how tense he was.

"I, uh, um.."

"Oh, you know… I bet my makeup bag is still in the car," she murmured to herself, turning to re-enter the bathroom to throw some clothes on.

Kendall threw his head back anxiously, trying to think about _anything_ but finally having his way with Jade. Puppies, rainbows, food… He regained control of his emotions just in time as Jade stepped out in shorts and a t-shirt.

Jade walked over, in search of the car keys, then looked at him as if she had forgotten he was there before, and smiled softly, moving over to the edge of the bed. "I don't think I ever properly told you good morning," she said. Kendall smirked, looking up at her as she stood over him, a couple of feet between them. He slowly motioned a finger for her to come to him, and with a shy smile, she crawled onto the bed in between his legs. Using his thighs as support for her hands, she leaned forward and kissed him aggressively. "Mm good morning," she murmured into his lips.

Her voice vibrating against his teeth and through his mouth sent him over the edge. _What is with me today?_ He pried his hands under hers, raising them up, supporting her, urging her to come closer. And when she placed her hands on his shoulders and straddled his legs, never parting from his mouth, Kendall felt like he could tear through her clothes in a heartbeat. This was so _unlike_ her. He usually had to get alcohol in her system for her to be like this with him.

He broke apart from her lips and nudged her chin up with his nose, so he could get his face close enough to place a wet kiss to her neck. "Not here, Kendall," she whispered, feeling him grow under her.

He paused, the desperate way she said '_Not here, Kendall'_ playing over in his mind. "You _want_ to?" His voice was deeper than he expected it to be, coated with surprise and desire.

She leaned down and he could feel her breath on his ear. "It's better when you don't talk about it, isn't it?" she whispered seductively. "And just let it happen?" She felt his bitten down nails scrape against her back as his fists clenched.

"Much better."

* * *

><p>Jade found herself relieved to touch foot back in California a couple of days later. She had missed Texas and everyone in it dearly, but the anxiety that came with the test of how they felt towards Kendall had bared down on her. She was relieved to be out from under everyone's watch.<p>

As Kendall drove her home, she leaned against the middle console separating them, and curled her hands around his arm, rubbing her thumbs across his skin every now and then and kissing him at every stop light. She felt so carefree, and _happy_, she didn't know what else to do but direct every bit of it towards her boyfriend.

Once Kendall parked, he found himself leaned over the console, dancing his tongue around Jade's as if he couldn't get enough of her. They broke apart, breathless, but before Kendall could make any kind of comment, his attention was drawn to outside the car. "What's Leslie doing?" he asked curiously.

Jade turned to see Leslie carrying a box towards her car. Confused, Jade slipped out of Kendall's and called out to her. "Hey, Les!" Leslie stopped, slowly turning to face her friend. "What's going on?"

"Jade!" Leslie exclaimed nervously. "I didn't expect you back yet!"

"I mean, am I… interrupting something…?" An uneasy feeling settled in Jade's gut as she got an idea of what was happening. She felt Kendall behind her, careful not to get too close. After all, they were back under the eye of California now.

Leslie finished the walk to her car and set the box in her hands in the open trunk. Jade saw more boxes already in it. "Can we talk, uh," she glanced around. "Behind closed doors?" Jade nodded, walking towards the apartment building stairs without waiting for anyone else. She stopped in her tracks when she heard the door shut behind her, and turned to hear what Leslie had to say. And she got right to it. "James asked me to move in with him."

Jade stopped breathing for a moment. While Leslie wouldn't look at her, Kendall was scrutinizing every inch of her face and body, judging her reaction, trying to figure out how this new development made her feel. She finally found her voice again. "And you said yes. Obviously." Jade tried her best to plaster a smile on her face, but it wasn't working.

"Yeah, I-" Leslie struggled with words. "I didn't know _how_ to tell you. At all. I felt like there was no right way to go about this, and- and we wanted to live together as soon as possible, and I mean, _Jade_. Why do we even have this apartment anymore? Both of us… when we're not working, even if we're not with our boyfriends, we're not _here_." Leslie sighed. "You're still my best friend, it's just… you have a _key_ to Kendall's house, you might as well live there. And now I have mine to James'."

Jade just nodded, taking everything in. Leslie was moving out. She couldn't wrap her head around it. She whispered, "If that's what you really want…"

"It is." Leslie rushed over to her friend and hugged her tight. "I'm sorry I did this in such a shitty way. But I love you. Okay?"

Jade nodded again. "I love you too." She pursed her lips, hoping to keep herself from becoming overemotional. "You uh, want some… help packing up?"

Smiling sadly, Leslie pulled away from Jade. "That box down there was the last of it."

"Right," Jade murmured, looking down. "I'm sure James is waiting on you, so."

"Yeah, he is." Leslie awkwardly stepped away. "I'll see you later, Jade. Kendall."

Kendall politely opened the door for the petite blonde, and as soon as it was shut again, he approached his hurting girlfriend with open arms. "C'mere," he cooed when she wrapped her arms tightly around his torso, and he squeezed her shoulders with his embrace.

"I know it's not the end of the world," she murmured into the crook of his neck. "But it's so- so… _unexpected_."

"It's okay, baby," Kendall whispered. "I know."

"I already felt like we were growing apart… and this just kind of makes me feel like I was right." She shook her head and pulled back to look at him.

"No. Jade, you haven't grown apart. I think there's just more going on in your lives. But just because you don't have as much _time_ to spend together as you used to, doesn't mean your friendship is slipping." He rested his hands comfortingly on her shoulders, staring her square in the eye. "You weren't going to live together forever, Jade."

"I haven't been a horrible friend?" Jade's bottom lip quivered as she stared back pitifully.

Kendall furrowed his eyebrows in concern, running his fingers through her hair continuously. "No. It's _hard_ finding a balance in this town, Jade. It's hard to juggle your acting career, your friends, family, your _secret boyfriend_." She cracked a smile. "And you do such a good job. Better than I do, sometimes."

Jade sighed, shaking her head slightly, and pushed herself forward to kiss him softly. "Thanks Kendall."

"Anything for my darling." He smiled, pressing his lips to hers one more time. "You wanna stay with me tonight?" he asked gently, still feeling bad about Leslie leaving her. She nodded sadly. "'Kay. I'm going out with Dustin in a couple of hours, but before and after that, I'm all yours."

He did what he could to bring her back to her little feisty self she had been on the way home from the airport, but of course, as soon as she seemed to be getting back to normal, it was time for him to leave with Dustin.

"I'll be back at ten, okay?" Kendall wrapped his arms around his girlfriend and kissed her hair. "Dustin's going with his brother, so it'll just be me and you. And we can do whatever you want."

Jade grinned sheepishly, burying her face against his shoulder. She knew that, for once, he wasn't being suggestive, which only made her laugh internally because… tonight was the night. She had decided on her own when they were still in Texas that if things happened to work out in their favor, their first night back in California she'd take the next step with him; she'd give herself to him completely. She knew all she had to do was give him the okay, and he'd take her from there.

Jade had it planned out. If Kendall was coming back at ten, that gave her roughly three hours to properly prepare herself. So she spent the first hour and a half showering, shaving, plucking, and moisturizing until she was squeaky clean. Her hair didn't take long after that to dry and straighten, and then she grabbed one of Kendall's hoodies to wrap around herself as she made the trek to her house through the crisp December air to retrieve her car.

And at 9:55, she was ready. Kendall's bedroom was glowing with only candlelight, smelled perfectly of his favorite Summer Breeze scent, and had music playing ever so softly in the background of everything. Ridiculously cliché, but extremely perfect. She was actually surprised that through her preparations, she didn't talk herself _out_ of going through with this. But she was surer about taking this step, about Kendall, than she was of anything else in her life at the moment. She loved him more than she ever thought possible; she wanted to tell him, and show him.

Jade knew she was far from sexy. She had no idea how to purposely be seductive. That was what she felt most awkward about; how to be positioned when Kendall came in. She hoped that some kind of instinct would kick in, and her body and mind would just go for whatever seemed natural.

She settled under his covers comfortably, letting her head sink into his pillow, surrounding herself in his scent. But she only relished in it for a few moments before she just sat up, letting the sheets only cover her bare legs. She readjusted his shirt on her, only having one button across her stomach fastened.

Then she heard him fiddling with the doorknob, and finally Kendall walked in, kicking off his shoes next to his door before taking notice. He turned around and had to refrain from his jaw practically falling off at the sight in his bed. He approached his bed slowly, taking a seat on the edge of it, never breaking eye contact with Jade. "Hi," she murmured almost shyly, reaching for his hands and peering up at him through her eyelashes, watching as he scooted closer.

"Hi," he whispered back with a small smile, leaning forward. He planned to only meet her lips for a second, but when he felt her lightly lap at his bottom lip, pleading for entrance, he was instantly, completely drawn in to her embrace. He was having a hard time wrapping his head around what the setting was implying; he couldn't believe she seemed to finally be _ready_. But here she was, in nothing but a bra, panties, and one of his plaid shirts, just one measly little button standing between him and her body…

And then she said it. Those words that could move mountains. Those words that change everything. Words that upon hearing them, only increased Kendall's feelings more, if that were possible. Words she had taken two months to respond with. Just as he was slipping his shirt over his head and tossing it aside, he finally heard, "I love you, too, Kendall," and saw her fingers gently working to unfasten the button of her shirt, slowly sliding the sleeves down her arms to cast it towards where he'd thrown his, all while never taking her eyes off of him.

The way her sparkling hazel eyes gazed into his bright green ones as time stopped around them told him everything he needed to know. "_God_ I love you, too," he groaned desperately as she straddled his lap and unbuttoned his jeans, leaving them at that so she could cradle his face and kiss him hard while he pressed a firm hand into the small of her back, bringing her closer. Kendall was just suddenly anxious to hold her and kiss her, to feel the feeling of her skin against his.

To save his life, he couldn't tell you when or how they finished disrobing and ended up between his sheets. All they knew was that they loved one another more than anything else in the world, and that this was really happening. "I'll take care of you," he murmured against her skin, planting a trail of soft kisses down her jaw to her ear. "I promise, baby."

He placed the most careful of kisses across the strains and wrinkles on her face, wishing so badly to relieve her of the initial beginning pain, until her skin went smooth again and he finally took them to a whole new world.

Kendall couldn't believe how ridiculously perfect everything about these drawn out moments with her were. It was everything he had imagined and more. He knew going so long without sex had a hand in it, but being with someone he was completely in love with made it that much more incredible.

Jade never knew feelings this amazing existed. She found herself wanting to stay wrapped up in this experience with him, where all of her fears and troubles were melted away into nothing but love and pleasure, for as long as they could. Her heart swelled to the point of explosion every time Kendall whispered _I love you_ into her ear or against her skin, and every time she breathlessly murmured it back, he'd kiss her wherever his lips were, sending new chills through her body.

And with a hand pinned above her head, laced with Kendall's fingers, and through whispered sweet nothings, they reached their finish. Breathless and recovering, they both knew that neither had truly understood their love for one another until this moment.

When all but one of the candles were blown out, and their same clothes from before, besides Kendall's t-shirt, were back on their bodies, they were back on his bed, resting on their sides and facing each other, very little space between them. They were stuck in an undying state of euphoria.

"This is new for me," she whispered. "What is it like for you?"

Kendall stroked her cheek mindlessly. He hadn't broken eye contact with her in he didn't know how long. "Amazing. And new for me, too." He didn't have to explain what he meant. "I feel like we're in this completely different… world right now."

"Me too." A small smile was on her face as she doodled circles with her fingers on his bare waist. "And it's only us."

He nodded, a soft, lazy smile overtaking his face. "And no one knows about this world, or can take it away from us."

"It's somewhere only we know."

He chuckled. _A song reference at a time like this_. "Somewhere only we know.." he repeated with a whisper.

He watched as her eyes fluttered shut, and then as she forced them open. She wanted to stay in this moment as long as she possibly could. She wanted to be looked at like Kendall had been looking at her for the past several minutes for the rest of her life. She sighed happily, her eyelids growing heavier. "I love you," Kendall murmured.

"Mmm, I love you more," she responded softly, looking at him one last time before she let sleep take over her.

Kendall swept a few strands of her hair away from her face and kissed the tip of her nose. "That's not possible."

* * *

><p>Kendall awoke the next morning, immediately rubbing his eyes. He was about to raise his arms and stretch when he realized there was a body lying against him. He looked down and smiled at the love of his life. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him, snuggling more comfortably into her and his bed. He wanted desperately to get up and make her breakfast, but there was no way he was leaving her alone in this bed before she woke up. They could just make breakfast together. He grinned at the idea, and kissed the top of her head, shutting his eyes and dozing off for a little while longer.<p>

The next time Kendall opened his eyes, Jade's head was rested on his shoulder, and she was doodling on his chest with her index finger. He smiled; she liked to do that. He gently grabbed her hand, stopping her, and entwined his fingers with hers. She sat up a bit, propping herself up on one elbow so she could see his face. "Hi," she murmured, leaning down to kiss his lips. She let go of his hand to brush his hair away from his forehead.

"Good morning, baby girl." He smiled, lifting his head, motioning for her to kiss him again while he ran his hands up and down her back.

She connected their lips a few more times before lying back down, half on top of him, lips level with his jaw. She sighed contently. "I love you, Kendall." She couldn't say it enough, now.

She watched his cheekbones rise as he smiled and said, "I love you more." She just shook her head, grinning from ear to ear. He chuckled. "How about we go downstairs and make some breakfast, hmm?"

"That sounds like a great idea."

They trailed downstairs hand in hand, Jade still only clad in her underwear and Kendall's plaid shirt, and Kendall in just his sweatpants.

Jade hoisted herself up on the counter while Kendall got out everything they needed to fix their meal. Before he began preparing everything, he stopped, leaning against the counter across from his girlfriend, and just gazed at her.

"What?" she asked, covering her cheeks shyly as she felt them redden.

"You're just…" He bit his lip as she held out her arms for him to come to her, and he happily complied, getting as close to her as he could. She placed her hands on the back of his neck, playing with the baby hairs there and gazing into his beautiful green eyes. "You're just incredible," he murmured, softly placing his lips against hers. "And my shirt," he kissed her harder. "Looks _way_," Again. "Too good on you..."

They were then lost in a sea of kisses and touches, which involved getting Kendall's shirt halfway off of Jade, until the growl of hunger in Kendall's stomach grew too loud to bear.

Jade giggled against his lips. "We need to make breakfast, baby." She playfully pinched at his stomach, causing loud laughs to escape as he jerked away. Jade hopped off the counter, reaching for his stomach again, amused by his reaction.

"Stop!" Still laughing, he grabbed her hands, wrestling to get her to stop trying to tickle him. They fought each other, ending up in the living room. In mid-struggle, she stopped and pulled him towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist for him. Kendall smiled softly, resting his forehead against hers. "You know, I think that's the first time you've ever called me by a pet name," he murmured playfully.

Ruffling her fingers through his hair, she bit her lip bashfully. "There's a first time for everything, isn't there?"

A satisfied mumble formed in his throat, and finding the hem of her shirt to slip his hands under and onto the skin of her back, he said, "And a second, and a third…" She shivered under his touch, feeling cool air hit her torso as he lifted his hands higher and she pushed herself up on her tiptoes to become level with his face and kiss him heatedly.

But as quickly as the heat started, Jade backed away. "We can't be this kind of couple," she said firmly.

Confused, Kendall scratched his head. "What kind of couple?"

She sighed, taking his hands in hers. "Last night was_ perfect_. Absolutely perfect." He smiled in remembrance. "And we've opened that door in our relationship now, but I just don't want us to be the couple that only focuses on… the sex, you know?" He nodded in understanding, squeezing her hands for emphasis. "Do I sound really lame right now?" Jade laughed uncertainly, looking away from her boyfriend.

"No, no!" Kendall shook his head. "I get it. And you're right." He pulled her closer to him. "We can still be exactly like we were…" He very lightly kissed her bottom lip. "We just have a new nightly activity to keep us occupied..." He wiggled his eyebrows teasingly with a smirk, nudging her nose playfully with his.

"Nightly?" She tried to hide her mocking smirk that had settled on her face. Wide-eyed and childlike, he nodded innocently. She grinned, running her hands up his chest and whispering against his lips, "I think I could live with that." He squeezed his eyes shut and goofily grinned, attempting to hide how ridiculously ecstatic he was that she said that. She snickered, not fooled in the slightest. "I just made your day, didn't I?"

"Well if I'm being honest…" He pursed his lips in mock thought. "A little bit, yep!"

She shook her head with a laugh and heard his stomach rumble again. "Come on, let's go make breakfast."

He latched onto her hips, hands dangerously low on her body, as she passed him to lead the way back to the kitchen. "Anything for you, baby," he murmured lowly, biting his lip. Deep inside they knew somehow things wouldn't be _exactly_ like they were.

Breakfast went by smoothly, fortunately not ending in a food fight of sorts, which seemed to happen quite a bit when they cooked together; mostly when they were using flour though. They sat at the bar to eat, bodies turned in towards one another, legs using each other's stools as footrests instead of their own. Close. They had to be close.

"So whatcha wanna do today, darlin'?" Kendall asked sweetly, stuffing his mouth with eggs after giving her a smile.

"Well it's still kinda early," she noted. "Maybe we can just hang out for a while? Watch TV or something?"

"Mm, lazy morning? Sounds perfect." They grinned at each other and ate on in silence.

* * *

><p>"Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaade!" Kendall plopped down on the end of the living room couch. "<em>Jaaaaaaade!<em>" he whined.

"Kendall!" Jade called out as she walked out of the nearest bathroom. "Shut _up!_" She laughed, and rounded the couch.

His face lit up when he saw her and he settled into a more reclined position in the corner of the couch. Jade plopped down and scooted into his embrace, lying into the triangle of space formed by his legs and the cushions, and rested an arm across his lap. Kendall sighed contently and nuzzled his face into the side of her face and hair, snaking one hand to hold hers on his lap, and the other down her waist to graze his fingertips across her bare thigh. "So are you going pantsless today?" he questioned in her ear. He hoped so.

She giggled and turned her head to meet his lips. "Pants are overrated."

"Mm well feel free to never wear pants again," he murmured.

"'Fraid I have to, love. Now hand me the remote!" He laughed and let go of her hand to reach behind him and grab the TV remote from the end table. "Now!" she said once the remote was in her hand. "What should we watch?"

"Well you know… the second and third episodes of the show premiered the other night. Double-feature. We could watch that?"

"Hmm," she hummed as she scrolled through the DVR recordings. "I feel so awkward watching this."

Kendall chuckled, pressing his lips against her neck. "We all do, but we still like to see the finished product."

"Oh god, Kendall, the third episode is the first time we had to kiss." She looked back at him and he grinned.

"That was bad." He laughed. "Well good, but… bad."

She nodded in agreement. "You know we've never actually talked about that? The first set kiss."

"I know," he murmured. "I never knew if it was as painful an experience for you as it sort of was for me…"

"_Oh_ yeah, it was." Jade shook her head. "Incredible kiss, horrible time." They laughed together, and she pressed play on the second episode.

Kendall went back and forth between actually watching their TV show, and innocently messing with Jade. He'd brush his fingers through her hair and watch what he could see of her face, or kiss the areas of her neck that he could reach, earning a real kiss from her every now and then.

And then they reached the end of episode three, and had to painfully watch that first set kiss that started it all. They were sure to anyone else it looked completely normal, but being the ones who experienced it, they could just see the hopelessness and angst flowing throughout their body language.

"We were convincing," Jade laughed.

"Yeah, a little _too_ convincing. I'm surprised they didn't fire us on the spot!" Kendall shook his head, then sighed. "Do you know how hard it was to let go of you after that?" he whispered in her ear.

She bit her lip and cupped their hands on his lap with her free one. "Was it as hard as it was for me to stay conscious…?" Kendall's chuckle turned into full blown laughter. He thought that was _hilarious_; she didn't think he'd ever stop laughing. "You're laughing, but I'm serious!" She giggled.

"Why?"

"You made me nervous!" she exclaimed defensively. "Top that with how I felt about you, and having to kiss you and pretend not to care and you've got Jade almost passing out!"

He chuckled, wrapping his arms around her and squeezing her. "Well like I said, it wasn't easy for me either." He sighed. "I considered confessing my feelings to you right then and there."

"That definitely would've gotten us fired," Jade murmured. "Do you think they'd _really_ fire us if they found out, Kendall?"

He took a moment to answer. "Sometimes I feel like they've always known. But… they're so serious about their rules, I always end up knowing they don't know."

"So is that a yes?"

"I don't know," Kendall said. "I think they love this cast too much to pick it apart."

"I just can't believe we've managed to keep it hidden for six months. They've barely questioned the dumb tabloid pictures." She removed his arms from her and scooted sideways onto his lap so she could see his face.

"We do pretty good, don't we?" Kendall puckered his lips, asking for a kiss.

She obliged, then nodded. "I like to think so." She drew her fingers down the side of his face with a smile, gazing into his twinkling green eyes. She placed a few sweet kisses to his lips and then one to his nose. "I love you." They both smiled.

"I love you, too," he mumbled against her lips. "A _lot_." Her cheeks reddened as she giggled and planted her lips lovingly on his neck, hiding from him.

"Um, I think we've got a lot of catching up to do!" Jade froze when she heard Leslie's voice.

"Shit you scared me!" Kendall exclaimed. "What the hell are you two doing here? Ever heard of the doorbell?"

Jade jerked her head up at _two_, and she saw James standing there also. "Since when do I use the doorbell?" James made a face, and moved from Leslie to make his way over to the unoccupied end of the couch. Jade drew her knees towards her shyly, touching her nose to Kendall's cheek as if hiding from their friend. Slowly, James turned his head to them, seeing Jade. Uncertainly, he pointed at her legs, then looked up at Kendall's blank face. "Um…"

James had grown to be sort of like a big brother to Jade, and Kendall feared his life because of it now. James was a smart guy; he could put two and two together.

"What's wrong, James?" Leslie approached her friends, peering over the couch. "Uh-huh…" She nodded slowly, trying not to smirk as she took in the clothes Kendall and Jade were wearing, or _weren't_ wearing. "Yeah, we've got a _lot_ of catching up to do!" She laughed as Jade peeked around Kendall's face at her, eyes alight with amusement.

"Hi Les," Jade mumbled playfully. "James."

James looked like he was still trying to wrap his head around what was going on. "Jade…" he responded with an unsure greeting.

"Alright!" Leslie exclaimed, walking around and tugging Jade away from Kendall. "Let's go get coffee, yeah?"

"Wait, but-" Jade stammered as Kendall clung to her waist, shaking his head in agreement. "I wanna stay here!"

"Come on, Jade." Leslie tugged her arm harder. "Drink's on me!"

"Leslie!" Jade whined, defeated as Kendall's hands slipped from her and she was pulled off the couch. She turned back as Leslie dragged her out of the room to see Kendall pouting and groaned. She just wanted to be in his arms.

Leslie led Jade upstairs to get dressed appropriately, scoffing when Jade slipped on her skinny jeans and fitted tank, only to pull on Kendall's flannel shirt again and button it halfway up.

"What?" Jade grinned. "It's December. I've gotta stay warm, right?"

"You look like Kendall." Leslie laughed. "Come on, boy, slip on your Vans and let's go!"

"Ha ha, very funny." Jade rolled her eyes and found her shoes in Kendall's closet. "Now let's go since you're dragging me out!"

Jade ran down the stairs and back into the living room, seeing James and Kendall sitting and talking, facing each other. Kendall bit his lip when he saw her before she leaned over the back of the couch and planted a deep kiss to his lips. "I'll see you in a bit."

"Mmkay," he murmured. "Love you."

She half-smiled. "Love you too."

Leslie drove Jade down the road to the coffee shop they know all too well, and they ran inside for drinks, and brought them back out to the car to talk in private. But Jade sat in silence for a while, not wanting to begin this conversation; not knowing where to start.

"So!" Leslie began. "You and Kendall had sex."

Jade nearly spit out her drink. "It sounds so… not right when you say it like that…"

"Would you like me to say you and Kendall made love?"

"No! That's almost weirder." The brunette grimaced, lightly, anxiously ringing her hands around her cup. "We just took the next step in our relationship!"

Leslie rolled her eyes. "Jade you're about to be twenty years old in like a week. You should not be as uncomfortable as a ten year old when talking about sex."

"Well I kind of feel like this is a private matter, for one…"

Leslie laughed haughtily. "I'm your best friend! That means it's private between you, Kendall, the guys, and me!"

"The guys?" Jade's eyes widened.

"Well it's not secret from James. And they're guys. They're gonna talk. It's not a big deal." She saw Jade about to protest, and she corrected herself. "Okay, it's a huge deal for _you_ and Kendall in itself, yes. But talking about it, your close friends knowing…" Leslie shrugged. "You were the only one out of all of us that hadn't partaken in that part of life, and now you have. Welcome." She smirked. Jade shook her head, but laughed lightly. "So how excited is Kendall that he can finally have you… _all to himself_, so to speak?"

"Um, very." Jade laughed. "I'm just glad I can make him happy."

Leslie furrowed her eyebrows in concern. "You're not only doing this because you want to make him happy, are you?"

"No!" Jade sighed. "Going home changed things for me."

"Well then! What was so life-changing in good ol' Texas?" Leslie asked.

Jade prepared herself for an _I told you so_. "Chad," she mumbled. "Among other things."

Now it was Leslie's turn to nearly spit out her drink. "_Chad_ was there?!"

"Yeah. We talked. Kendall wanted to hit him. I wanted to hit him. It ended badly." She shrugged. "But I felt free. _I_ got the closure I needed, even if he didn't." Jade winced, expecting the four annoying words, but they didn't come. The blonde just looked at her proudly. "Ugh not to mention, Kendall pretty much melted my heart when he met my family. You should've seen the way he was with Meme!"

Leslie smiled. "He sure left an impression, huh?"

"Definitely. By the end of the trip, I'd decided that if things worked out in our favor, I'd let him have me. And well, things worked out." Jade shrugged slightly, sipping on her coffee as memories from the night before flashed through her head. That longing feeling in her gut that was always there when she wanted to be around Kendall had set in, only this time multiplied by at least one hundred.

"So, did you enjoy yourself?" Leslie asked amusingly, smirking.

Jade giggled. "It was romantic."

"Romantic? Sounds boring."

Jade rolled her eyes. "It was incredible. I just… I just really love him. And it's only intensified now."

* * *

><p>To Kendall's annoyance, James and Leslie weren't the only ones planning an unexpected visit. Logan and Carlos showed up hardly five minutes after Leslie whisked Jade away from him. And James blurted out what he had walked in on as soon as they walked in.<p>

"So!" Logan started with a satisfied grin on his face. "You and Jade finally fucked."

Kendall groaned. "It's not like that."

"So not only did you and Jade fuck, but it's made ya go soft!" Logan laughed. "It's okay, buddy. I'll let it slide since you went so long without gettin' it in!" He slapped his blonde best friend on the shoulder.

"Shut the fuck up, Logan." Kendall shoved him away.

Logan cackled. "He said fuck! Look that's all that's on his mind. Fuck, fuck, fuck."

Kendall turned to Carlos and James for defense, but they were snickering, sprawled out on the couch and chair. "Unbelievable," he mumbled.

"What's unbelievable is that you seem to have no sense of humor right now!" Logan smirked.

"It's because Leslie took Jade away from him," James stated. "He's grouchy."

"Oh, so it was _that_ kind of love-making, huh?" Carlos grinned.

Kendall sighed contently. "It _was_ different."

"Well yeah it was different," James laughed. "You weren't drunk and you actually love the girl. There's always gonna be something better about that."

Before Kendall could reply, Logan cut in. "So how was it?"

Kendall chuckled. There would never be a way around Logan's forwardness. "Ridiculously incredible," he said. "I uh, distinctly remember asking her _Are you sure you've never done this before_?" He snorted. "Not one of my most shining lines. But I've been out of practice for a while, and _she _is just incredible and surprising all around…"

"Damn son!" Logan exclaimed. "Slow your fuckin' roll; this was just y'alls first time!"

"It just brought us so much closer-"

"Literally." Logan snickered.

Kendall rolled his eyes but cracked a smile. "You know what I mean. I just… can't be without her now."

* * *

><p>Jade got back to her boyfriend as quickly as she could, bugging Leslie until she finally drove her back. From there, the group of friends hung out for a while, the guys throwing some provocative jokes Jade's way, knowing they'd embarrass her. But eventually, Carlos and Logan trickled out, leaving the two couples. They decided to have a movie day, once James and Leslie promised not to comment anymore on Kendall and Jade's closeness.<p>

James and Leslie took the floor, leaving the other two the couch. While in each other's presence, Kendall and Jade had to be touching. They spent a majority of the movie time kissing or caressing, and Kendall whispering sweet nothings in his girlfriend's ear.

They were getting into their third movie of the day when Jade's phone started ringing. Kendall reached behind them to get it for her and she looked at the screen questioningly. "It's Dave," she said. One of their producers. "Hey Dave, what's up?" she answered.

"Hey Jade. You wouldn't happen to be with James by any chance?"

"Yeah, I'm with him right now. Why?" she asked.

"We need both of you down here at the studio for a minute. I know it's a long drive, but it's important," he responded seriously.

"Uh, okay… we'll see you soon." She hung up uncertainly.

"They need us?" Kendall asked.

"No… they need me and James."

James looked back at her from his spot on the floor. "We have to drive all the way out to Paramount?"

She nodded. "Apparently."

"Did he say why?" Kendall questioned.

"No. Just said it was important." Jade shrugged, then sighed, frowning at Kendall. "I guess we'll be back later." She leaned over for a kiss before getting off the couch.

Kendall pulled her back for another long one when she separated from him. "Maybe I should come with you," he mumbled into her lips.

"Nope, no ya shouldn't!" James grabbed Jade's arm. "Stay with Leslie. I don't feel like listening to you two lover-birds the whole way there and back."

"Lover-birds?" Jade asked incredulously.

James smirked. "You heard me."

He and Jade drove out to Paramount, complaining almost the entire way there. They were supposed to start filming again the next day, and having to go in at the last minute a day early for reasons unknown was kind of annoying to them. They raced into the offices of their producers, hoping to hurry along whatever they had to do, and saw Dave, Rich, and an uneasy looking Scott sitting there.

Then they made James exit the room.

"Let's cut right to the chase," Rich said as Jade took a seat. Jade furrowed her eyebrows, unsure of what to expect. "We know about you and Kendall being in a relationship. A very serious relationship." Jade froze. "In fact, all of Hollywood knows now."

"But-"

"You're fired, Jade."


	13. Forever

**13 – Forever **- _"All things aside, just know, no matter what you do, I'll be there for you. When the world starts bringing you down, I'll be there to stop and lift you off the ground." – Forever The Sickest Kids (Forever Girl)_

"You have no right!" James was angrier than the producers had ever seen him.

"Actually, we have every right," Rich responded calmly.

James scowled. "You know what, _fine_, let me ask you this! _What _disturbance, what _drama_ has been caused because of their relationship on set?! More than half the cast knows! They stay professional. As far as work goes, they aren't together. But in reality, they've been together _six months_. Do you know how much of an accomplishment that is for Kendall?" James threw his hands up in the air exasperatedly. "Have you not noticed how much more invested he is in his career, how much happier he is?! The only drama that has come from them being together is this now.

"You're creating drama _right_ _now_ by firing Jade! I'm _yelling at you_, and do you think I'm the only one who's going to raise hell about this? Do you think Kendall's gonna even show up to work tomorrow when he finds out?" James shook his head, frustrated. "Jade has been an excellent addition to this show, and only had _two episodes_ left to film of this season. Now what are you going to do? Leave Kendall Knight a heartwrenching note from Kellyn saying she's moving to Africa or something? No. And have you seen the reviews Jade has been getting? People love her! But you're getting rid of her. Fucking perfect. You know, I don't think _I'm _going to come in to work tomorrow. I mean, why should anyone? You're insisting on ruining peoples' lives because they're just being happy, and now you're making it harder on yourselves 'cause you'll have to do some rewrites!" James angrily inhaled a deep breath, having went too long without one.

"Everyone knew the rules coming into this," Dave's monotonous tone got even more under James' skin.

"Yeah, and everyone agrees that this is a _stupid _and _horrible_ reason to fire someone! To just end their career!"

"Look James!" Dave exclaimed. "It's not our choice. Corporate's rules, Corporate's decisions. We got the word from them right before we called Jade. We wanted to bring someone in with her so it didn't look as suspicious, and to keep things calm. We knew Kendall wouldn't be a good idea, so we called you."

"Bet you didn't expect _me_ to _fucking go off on you_. And do you realize how ridiculously unprofessional that just sounded? You called someone else in too so it wouldn't look so suspicious?" James scoffed. "How old are we? Twelve? I'm actually embarrassed to be a part of this network right now. If you'll excuse me, my friend needs me."

James pushed his way out of the seemingly crowded office, fuming. He had never been one to jeopardize his career like he just had, in any way, but this was too much. He had warned Kendall, time and time again about how much of a risk getting with Jade would be. He wanted his friend to be happy, but James knew there would be consequences somewhere down the line.

But now that he had seen six months of a new, better Kendall, six months of two of his closest friends' happiness, and now that James was put in this moment, where the closest girl in his life besides his girlfriend was losing her job over something so juvenile, he just didn't care anymore. No one had the right to control love.

He found Jade in her dressing room, placing her things in a box, or someone who looked like Jade. This version of Jade was lifeless. Her movements were slow and uncaring, her face held no trace of expression, the light in her eyes seemed to have gone out, and her normally California sun-kissed skin seemed paler.

"Jade…" James wasn't quite sure why his voice sounded broken.

"It's all over Hollywood," she mumbled almost incoherently, not even glancing his way.

He swallowed. "They told you that?" Then _why_ hadn't he and Leslie seen anything before they trekked to Kendall's house? Anything so that he could've at least warned his friends…

"Yeah, they told me that." Jade placed the last of her belongings into the box in front of her. She was numb. She couldn't bring herself to cry. She couldn't even bring herself to feel _shocked_. Everything had just stirred around her like a nightmare that had just been waiting for the perfect moment to destroy her dreams. "It's very cliché of the universe, or _whoever_. Have the perfect night with the man I love, wake up thinking everything's dandy planning to have another perfect night with him, and then this happens," she murmured dryly, giving a shake of her head that seemed to match her tone. "Leave it to Hollywood."

"Jade," James voice cracked again. "Come on, let's go home."

"I don't have one anymore, James."

James winced, realizing his fault. Jade was only in her particular apartment because the producers had put her there, paying her bills for her. Being fired, she wouldn't get to keep it. He just sighed, completely at a loss for words to console his best friend, and simply took the box from her hands and led her away from her dressing room, and out of the building.

Jade remained silent the entire drive back to what used to be her apartment. Ideas, words, and jumbled mess zoomed around James mind at ninety to nothing as he desperately wracked his brain for some way to fix this, nervously glancing at Jade every now and then as if to make sure she was still sitting there, or still _alive_. He held her hand as a lame form of comfort, but even though she was grasping his between both of hers, he knew she wasn't really registering it as comfort. Probably more like just something to hold on to, to keep her grounded.

Upon arriving at the apartment building, James groaned out in utter frustration at the sight of paparazzi gathered at the bottom of the main stairs, waiting more than likely to prey on Jade. "Fuck!" James slammed his palm against his steering wheel. "Jade you can't go out in that."

Her voice shook as if she was crying, but James looked to see a dry face. "I have to go pack up my things, James. I don't matter to Hollywood anymore."

"Jade-" But she had already stepped out of the car. James groaned again and jumped out, getting to her side as quickly as he could before she was suffocated by the sleaze reporters waiting for her. He put his arm protectively around her and they made a beeline for the building staircase, ignoring every ridiculous question thrown at them.

Slamming the door behind him, James watched as Jade lifelessly trudged into her bedroom, gently shutting her door, shutting James out. She wasn't _trying_ to push her concerned friend away, but she was so lost; she had no idea what was going to happen now, or what to do next.

James quickly dialed Kendall's number, not giving his friend much room to speak once he answered. "Kendall. Get over to Jade's right now. Don't question me! Just get down here. I'll explain when I see you." James looked to see Kendall had already hung up. He sighed in relief, but it was quickly taken over by anger again as he remembered the men with cameras outside.

He figured he'd regret what he would do next later on, but in this moment, all he cared about were his friends, and they were being hurt because of people like this. He stepped outside and raced down the stairs until he was face to face with them. "If you don't leave _right now_, I will break your cameras and leave _every single one of you_ without a job." Cameras clicked around him, but James just didn't care what they saw anymore. "And you can quote me on that! Now _go_." His voice thundered across them, and a majority of the paparazzi surrounding actually did looked scared for their job, and quickly backed away. James was a fairly big guy. The others just gave a huff of defeat and trudged off, swearing under their breaths.

James climbed back up the stairs, but plopped down exhaustedly on the top step, knowing Jade didn't want to talk to him, and buried his face in his hands. Somewhere in the back of his mind, James had always known this would happen. But his friends had gotten incredible at keeping contact to a minimum in public, so how did someone get a picture?

Kendall made it to Jade's place in a record four minutes, instantly running up the steps with Leslie close behind. "James, why were there guys with cameras outside my house asking me about Jade? What the fuck is going on!" It was obvious to the anxious blonde what was happening, but he refused to believe that it actually was.

James ran an unsteady hand through his semi-long brown locks before he looked up at his best friend and girlfriend. "They fucking fired her," he whispered. "There's apparently a picture of the two of you kissing… all over Hollywood now." He gulped, feeling his heart break a little at the sight of Kendall's pained expression. James watched for a moment as Kendall bit down on his fist, wanting a way to stop the tears burning his green eyes as he shook his head slowly in disbelief.

"They're supposed to fire both offenders," the blonde whispered shakily, ignoring the tear that strolled down his cheek.

James just looked down. They both knew that may have been the case in the beginning, but now that the show was growing ever the more popular, while it remained easy to replace recurring roles, it was not easy to replace main cast. You _couldn't_ replace main cast unless you wanted to ruin the aura of the show. "Paparazzi was here too. I ran them off."

"This isn't fair…" Kendall's voice shook with the many mixed emotions coursing through him. He wanted to run in right away and see his girlfriend, but he refused to let her see him cry, especially when he couldn't even believe he was actually crying in the first place. It was just what anger did to him when pushed too far. Suddenly, he was engulfed in Leslie's friendly embrace. He gratefully hugged her back, harshly whispering, "How the fuck did someone get a picture of us?"

"I don't know, sweetheart," Leslie answered gently, her own voice shaking. Kendall was right: this wasn't fair for Jade. No one should be fired from their career, under these circumstances, for falling in love. She looked to the side at a miserable-looking James. "How's Jade?"

James shrugged half-heartedly. "She's barely said anything to me since we left Paramount." He shook his head. "I'll be lucky if _I_ have a job left." Leslie just watched her tired boyfriend expectantly, still holding Kendall and feeling a tear trickle down her neck every now and then from his cheek. "I yelled at the producers." The worried couple was surprised to hear Kendall groan with exasperation. "Kendall, it's not_ right_. How was I supposed to react?"

"James-"

The brunette ignored Kendall's mumble of protest, and merely shook his head again. "Listen, yeah, I didn't want you jeopardizing your career and breaking the rules in the beginning, but Kendall…" The blonde finally picked his head up from Leslie's neck and warily stared at his best friend, not bothering to wipe his face free of dampness. James continued. "When she walked out of that office and just said _They fired me, James_, it wasn't hard to guess why, and I instantly knew that I was wrong for ever believing it was necessary to follow that rule. It's _stupid._

"Kendall I never thought I'd see you get a girlfriend, and here you are, dating this amazing girl for six months now? I'm so ridiculously proud of you, man. You two really deserve the best, and Jade getting fired for loving you is just plain wrong. Who _cares_ if cast members date? You can't control love!"

Kendall actually managed a small laugh at his friend's sudden frantic tone, making him sound a lot more like his TV show character than himself. "Thanks James."

He shrugged. "I told them that they're so intent on keeping set drama-free, but there wasn't any drama until now."

"Did you also happen to tell them that I wouldn't be showing up tomorrow?" Kendall glared at no one in particular, already planning his strike in his head. He knew somewhere in his brain that it probably wasn't true, but he felt like this was Hollywood trying to tear his girlfriend away from him. And he wouldn't have that. Jade deserved to keep her role on the show. And she and Kendall deserved to be together. Period.

"Actually, yeah," James responded proudly.

Kendall grinned, nodding in approval. "Good." But then he sighed, remembering how upset he was. "I need to go in and see her," he murmured gloomily. "But I just can't help but feel like this is my fault."

"No!" Leslie suddenly exclaimed. "It's not your fault, it's not Jade's fault. It's the ass who took the picture's fault."

James stood up, instantly agreeing. "Yeah, don't blame yourself, and do not let Jade blame herself. Or I'll kick your asses!" He smirked.

"Duly noted," Kendall chuckled weakly and anxiously rubbed the back of his neck. "I-I'll call you later to let you know how she's doing…" This was Kendall's polite way of letting his friends know he wanted to be alone with his girlfriend, and then he added with a whisper, "Thanks for being there for her and getting rid of the cameras."

James placed a firm hand on his blonde best friend's shoulder. "I'm here for both of you. Always will be."

Kendall just nodded curtly before James and Leslie turned to leave. At first the blonde didn't move. He dazedly glared at the slowly darkening sky, still having trouble believing this was happening. Things were supposed to be _perfect_ today. At least, as perfect as things can be for a secret couple. He had spent the whole day with Jade in his arms, after a perfect night of finally becoming one. And as soon as she left for the studio with James, he itched to have her with him again. He was in deeper than he ever expected of himself, and he refused to have it any other way.

Finally making his way in, he cautiously slipped in her bedroom doorway, hearing the door click in the deafening silence as he shut it behind him. He observed his beloved with a genuine frown, watching as she just sat on the edge of her bed, staring at her clasped hands in her lap and Kendall's plaid shirt lying on her lap beneath them; that's when Kendall realized the air wasn't on, and despite the cold December weather, it was rather warm in the apartment. Had they really already turned her utilities off?

There was a box a few feet away with a few items that looked like she had half-heartedly thrown in there before not being able to go any further, sinking in defeat.

"Hi beautiful," he said softly, carefully approaching the hurt girl. She slowly turned her head upward to look at him, her hazel eyes sadder than he'd ever seen before. It nearly broke his heart. He took his bottom lip between his teeth anxiously, placing himself next to her and slipping his hand between hers on her lap. She gratefully took it, playing with it just as she had her own seconds before. "You weren't even going to call me, were you?" he murmured after a few moments of silence.

"I would've eventually…" Even in the dead silence, he had to strain to hear her nearly inaudible voice.

"When you were halfway back to Texas?"

She slowly shook her head, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. "I wouldn't have done that."

"You were packing." Kendall motioned with his free hand to the mostly empty box near the end of her bed.

She shrugged it off, playing with his fingers. "I wouldn't have just left you. I just wanted to be alone for a little while."

"Oh… well I-I can go-"

"No!" Jade's grip on his hand tightened and she looked at him frantically. "I'm glad you're here now." She nodded as if trying to reassure herself. After another moment's silence, she whispered, "What does this mean for us?"

Kendall peered at her stupidly. "This doesn't affect our relationship, Jade."

"But-"

"There's no 'but's' about it." He shook his head. "This isn't about _us._ I'm worried about _you_, baby." He sighed, his voice nearly failing him as he gently kissed her hand and asked softly, "How are you doing?"

They found themselves simultaneously scooting their bodies to face each other, Kendall adding his free hand to the mix of their already interlocked ones. "It sucks." Jade shrugged half-heartedly, laughing humorlessly. "Hearing someone say _You're fired, Jade_ is so movie-like, so conventional… but it happened. I'm… fired." She dropped her chin to her chest and closed her eyes. "It's like I didn't think we'd be able to keep our relationship hidden for as long as we needed to, but at the same time, I never expected to _actually_ be fired."

"They should've fired me, too," Kendall murmured.

Jade picked her head up to give him a look as if to say he was being ridiculous. "You're irreplaceable, Kendall."

"So are you," he gently whined.

She cracked a small smile and freed one of her hands to place an index finger to his chest. "I'm not talking about in here." She moved closer to him, truthfully already feeling better now that he was there.

After a moment of frowning, he sighed and placed a simple kiss to each of her hands. "It's not fair."

"Life's not fair." She laughed dryly, thinking about how that seemed to be her parents' motto to her when she was younger.

"Jade…"

"Kendall." She took a deep breath. "I hate it, I really do. I actually feel like a piece of me is missing without the show. But we knew the risk of being together."

"So you're just giving up?" Kendall asked monotonously. "Because of me…"

"What else am I supposed to do?" But then she made a face. "And I swear to god if you're blaming yourself right now, I will kick your ass."

His face lit up with a smirk. "You sound like James."

"He is rubbing off on me, isn't he?" she joked, but soon sobered as she gazed into his still sad, green eyes. "I love you," she murmured, running the back of her fingers across his cheek. "Don't worry about me." She sighed and glanced back at the barely filled box on her floor, feeling Kendall entwine their fingers again. "I stopped packing because I realized I have nowhere to go… I don't think I fully understood that until I got here."

"Of course you have somewhere to go."

"No-"

Kendall cut her off, his response coming as easy as breathing. "Move in. With me." He just knew it was right.

Jade stumbled over words. "I-… uh… what?"

"Jade, we practically live together anyways. I've got stuff here, you've got stuff at my house…"

"Th-That's just what girlfriends and boyfriends do…" She wasn't sure why she wasn't jumping with the joy she felt inside, rather than avoiding his gaze like she was.

He chuckled. "No, that's what long-term, _serious_ girlfriends and boyfriends do."

She nodded slowly, taking in the offer. "That's a big step…"

He dipped his head to catch her eyes with a grin. "And last night wasn't?" he questioned calmly. A small smile tugged at her lips, meeting his eyes with a new light. The night before really had been perfect for them. Nearly too good to be true. "So what's the problem?"

Jade bit her lip as warmth surged through her, accompanied by the almost always-present butterflies in her stomach, at the idea of what this meant. And though she seemed to rush him, dying for their lips to make contact, everything slowed down once their mouths were attached and moving perfectly in-sync.

Kendall took that as a yes.

He cradled her head in his hands, moving to kiss the corner of her mouth, then her cheek, and finally the shell of her ear. "How long do you have to move?" he asked gently, staying at her ear.

She leaned towards his embrace. "Till the end of tomorrow."

"Then we'll worry about it tomorrow, okay?"

She exhaled a trembling breath. "Tomorrow," she agreed.

"I love you, Jade Thomas," he whispered sweetly.

"I love _you_, Kendall Schmidt."

"Forever," he mumbled, relaxing into her touch as her fingers tangled into his hair.

Jade's heart nearly exploded. This was the first declaration of something long-term from either one of them. _Forever_. Despite the twist in events today, Jade felt utterly elated, even if just for a moment, at the idea. They truthfully had just been _going with the flow_ when it came to their relationship, taking it one stride at a time, but knowing that they now seemed to actually be thinking of their _future_ together was not only reassuring, but electrifying. "Forever?"

Kendall pulled his head back to look at her contently, nodding with a soft smile playing at his lips. The idea of forever together was exhilarating and pushed away their worries for these moments as their lips met in sweet bliss and Jade climbed onto her boyfriend's lap carefully, hands to his shoulders as she gently pushed him back onto her bed. The couple's lips only separated for a split second, and then their tongues met in a familiar dance as Kendall's hands slipped under her tank top, running up her back.

They easily knew what was coming, they had half-joked it would happen earlier in the day anyways, but took their sweet time getting there. Each piece of clothing disrobed was treated as a new milestone that was rewarded with more kisses, or a mark to the neck, something they only allowed themselves because it was winter and easier to cover. And because they just didn't care what the producers saw anymore.

Making the moments much more intimate than the night before, they explored one another's bodies, taking turns to take the wheel, learning, memorizing. Their lips and hands met new places, and their bodies trembled with seemingly undying pleasure. Why not take the time to learn every inch of someone who's going to be yours forever?

* * *

><p>After lying together and softly chatting for what felt like hours, the couple couldn't find it in them to sleep. Nagging their minds was the picture of them they hadn't even seen yet; they wanted to see when and where it had been taken, but they didn't want to ruin this sort of aura of serenity they had surrounding them in Jade's bedroom.<p>

Reluctantly releasing Jade from his grasp, Kendall trotted over to her closet in only his boxers to remove his guitar from it. A seemingly permanent slight-grin sat on his face as he placed himself back near his girlfriend, who had actually dressed in her own blue v-neck, but still had no pants on.

"You're right," she mumbled, sitting up to slip behind him, placing him between her legs, and rub his shoulders. "We do practically live together already. You've even got a guitar over here." She giggled as if just noticing this. She had never thought much of it before; it's just how they were. And that's how she knew moving in with him would be a breeze compared to giving herself to him, which had taken a lot of mental preparation and self-esteem raising.

She planted a kiss to the back of his shoulder, letting her face rest there as she inhaled the oddly satisfying smell of sweat blended with his natural scent, and he started strumming a chord combination unfamiliar to her on his guitar.

Kendall had never felt more at peace than he did in that moment, despite the fact their perfect Hollywood career together was crumbling around them. He had his guitar on his lap, and Jade behind him. Those two things were his life.

"Is that new?" Jade asked in a voice he barely heard, as if she didn't want to mess him up.

He mumbled a lazy "Mmhmm" before turning his head so she could lean up and kiss the corner of his mouth. "It doesn't have lyrics yet… but I know it will soon." His lips curved up into a warm smile and she slipped her arms around his stomach, hugging him lovingly at the implication. "I love you," he murmured before turning his attention back to his music.

She let her eyes slide shut, resting her cheek on his back and becoming in tune with his breathing, certain their hearts must be on the same beat too. "I love you, too."

The lovers stayed that way for countless minutes, wrapped up in their own little world until they were annoyingly ripped abruptly from it when they heard someone banging on the front door.

Jade exhaled, annoyed. "Reality check."

"No kidding," Kendall grumbled, setting his guitar down, but instead of getting off the bed, he turned towards her, hovering close to her lips. "We can just let whoever it is go away, and we can stay here a little longer…" he suggested quietly.

She grinned, pulling him on top of her by the neck as she leaned back against her pillows and kissed him deeply. She let their lips play until the banging started again and she said, "It seems urgent."

"What if it's just more camera guys?" Kendall just wanted to stay in their little sanctuary they seemed to have created.

"They're not that bold." Sighing, she directed him back to her lips for a few more seconds. "Come on," she finally said. "Let's go see who it is."

"Mm." He shook his head with furrowed eyebrows. "Put some pants on first," he gently demanded, smacking his lips against hers once more before slipping off the bed to find his own sweatpants and shirt.

She scooted to the edge of her mattress with a pout. "Why?"

Now fully clothed, he quickly pulled open one of her drawers and whipped out sweatpants nearly the same color as his, tossing them at her. "I wouldn't want anyone getting any ideas seeing you in your underwear…" He smirked and made his way back over to his girlfriend, standing over her. "That's for private parties only." He leaned down to whisper his next words in her ear. "And I'm the only one on the guest list, baby."

Heat rushed to Jade's cheeks, reddening them almost instantly as she bit her lip and stared into his intense gaze, flustered, but satisfied. He hadn't been like this earlier in the day, but he knew the territory now. He was staking his claim. Jade let out a jagged breath and smirked right back at him, standing so their bodies were pressed against one another, since Kendall showed no sign of stepping back. "Damn straight," she whispered and giggled slightly, placing a chaste kiss against the light bruise on his collar bone, only to flick her tongue against it, making him shudder.

"_Fuck_ you can't _do_ that," he groaned before their lips met fiercely, carrying them away from reality yet again. Jade's fingers became busy tugging at Kendall's blonde locks, and he was on the verge of deftly slipping a hand into her underwear when the banging on the door started again, and they knew it was time to separate; Kendall, trying to catch his breath and make sure he was calm first, went to answer the door while a disheveled Jade put on her pants.

She walked out of her room just in time to see a frantic James, followed by a similar-looking Leslie and Dustin, bustling into the apartment. "Do neither of you know how to answer your cell phones?"

Jade paused, looking around herself curiously. "I don't even know where my phone is."

"And I think I forgot mine in my car- _shit_ my mom's probably been freaking out!" Kendall ran his fingers through his hair, staring at Jade worriedly. If this was as serious as the show producers had made it out to be, then Kathy would surely know by now. He started heading for the door.

"Oh no ya don't!" Dustin placed a firm hand against his best friend's chest, pushing him away from the front door.

"Yeah," James agreed. "There are some asses lurking in the metaphorical bushes. Last thing we need is you beating the shit out of them and making more news."

"I'll go," Jade chimed in with a shrug. "I won't beat the shit out of the sleaze reporters. Give me your keys, love."

"They're by the door." Kendall nodded in that direction, at the tiny table next to the doorframe.

"I'll go with you!" Leslie suddenly exclaimed. "It's late. I don't want you to go alone." Jade simply motioned for her to follow with a smile and trotted out her front door. "You're doing okay…" Leslie's question came out as more of a statement. Jade could instantly tell something was bothering Leslie. There was a reason the girl wasn't an actress.

"Yep!" Jade bit her lip, wanting to know what was going on. "Really okay, actually…"

Leslie smirked, reading Jade like an open book. Kendall had obviously done a swell job at taking her mind off of the issue at hand. "We'll talk later," the bleach blonde said. "When there aren't _sleaze_ reporters creeping on our every move." She said it loud enough for any stray jerks to hear.

Jade quickly retrieved Kendall's phone, shivers creeping up her spine with the feeling of someone watching her. She took the lead back up the steps, doing what she could not to sprint until she was back inside. But as soon as she and Leslie made it through the door, she wished she'd taken her time. Kendall was on the couch, looking at a magazine which undoubtedly had the picture of them in or on it. "Kendall…" Jade murmured concernedly when she saw her boyfriend's frozen stance, walking quickly towards him.

"Jade, you know who took these, right?" His voice was stiff, trying to mask the pure anger pulling at every inch of him.

"I haven't seen it, Kend-" He held the magazine in front of her face and Jade felt every feeling in her body fall through her fingertips.

The angle. The moment that was caught. Who had walked up and interrupted that moment.

It was Chad.

Something similar to a growl escaped Jade's throat. "Time to book a fucking flight to New York."

The headline read "Big Time Country Getaway_."_

Rigidly, Kendall read the short and annoyingly accurate article about him and his girlfriend aloud since his friends hadn't really bothered to read it, more concerned with the fact the picture had been captured in Jade's hometown than anything.

"_While the controversial rumors over co-stars of the hit TV show Big Time Rush Kendall Schmidt and Jade Thomas being an item have been up in the air since before Thomas became known to Hollywood, POP Magazine is here to clear the air of uncertainty and let readers and fans alike know that the two _are_ indeed a couple, and have been going strong for quite some time now according to an anonymous, but confident source." _Kendall growled, a similar sound to the one his girlfriend had released once she saw the image that was plastered all over the magazine in his hands. Jade was situated against him, a bent arm cascaded across his lap as she typed and clicked away on her laptop, finalizing the plans to fly to New York the next day. But at the same time Kendall had made a sound of aggravation, Jade's fingers stopped moving, curling in on themselves as fury coursed through her. She was considerably calmer than when she first saw the picture, but she was far from being okay.

Even if things hadn't exactly ended well between her and Chad, he was someone that she used to trust with every inch of her being. Someone she could count on. She just hadn't realized that even though he had been a complete asshole to her when she saw him in Green, a part of her still thought she could count on him. Maybe she would've expected him to spill her secret, but that could've been an easy fix with no picture as proof. But Chad had covered that too. He had snuck up and captured an intense, private moment between the couple when the words _I love you_ were on the tip of Jade's tongue for the first time after Kendall met her family. And when Chad was caught right there with his phone out, he made the excuse that he had come there to make a call. Kendall and Jade both believed him so easily. Why wouldn't they? They had felt they were immune to being caught when they were in Jade's hometown. Nothing held them back as they freely kissed and grinded on the makeshift dancefloor at her cousin's house. They took advantage of the freedom, and were now paying the price.

Jade resumed what she had been doing on her laptop before Kendall felt calm enough to keep reading. This spontaneous trip to New York was nagging at her too. When she announced she was booking a flight, she was planning to go alone. Production was supposed to start the next day, so she wasn't dragging Kendall along. But he made it clear right away that he had no intention of going to work. He had made the decision as soon as he found out his girlfriend was fired. She argued that he didn't need to risk his job over her, but his mind was made up that he wouldn't return to the set lot until they took Jade back too no matter how much she fought him on it. So with defeat, she started booking a trip for two.

Kendall sighed, finding his place in the article again. "_The couple has done an excellent job hiding, only taking innocent outings together where they would avoid contact as much as possible. But the chemistry was always there to us and the fans. It's safe to say the two had many people rooting for them, which isn't a common thing when it comes to celebrity couples. Maybe they just know young love when they see it. And this is an exceptional step-up for Schmidt, whose past usually involved club-hopping- _What the fuck!" Kendall yelled, his tone shifting from annoyingly calm to furious in a snap, causing everyone in the room to flinch. "That was before we really had people keeping up with us! Can they even print that in a fucking teen magazine?!"

Setting her laptop aside, Jade gently took the magazine with trembling hands, holding it in the one farthest from her boyfriend, and lacing the fingers of her other through his now unoccupied ones. "Kendall, calm down," she murmured, looking up at him and trying to hide her own fury for his sake. "My hip doesn't appreciate you taking your anger out on it," she added with a small smirk, referring to his arm that had been wrapped around her the whole time, where his hand squeezed her side to coincide with his aggravation.

He met her eyes when she said that, instantly softening and massaging the skin he had harmed in his rage. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, pecking her lips to add to the apology. Still close to her face, he inhaled and exhaled a deep breath, using her hazel eyes as an abetment to soothe his nerves, then nodded, silently urging her to continue reading where he'd left off.

She responded with a nod of her own and squeezed his hand as she scanned the words to find her place. She cleared her throat. "_It seems as though Thomas caused Schmidt's maturation overnight, drawing him out of his unhealthy lifestyle the moment they met at the Dallas fair many months ago. They kept in touch until she finally flew from her home in Texas to visit him in California, which is when he landed her a role on his TV show, undoubtedly to keep her close… _Okay _that_ is something people aren't supposed to know," Jade murmured more to herself than the other people in the room. They had agreed keeping that information from the public would probably better for her, to keep unnecessary drama from circulating about her and her character, especially after the incident with Kathryn happened. But she had told her friends about it in confidence before she moved, and Chad had obviously "innocently" asked about it.

Jade shook her head and continued. "_The picture above was taken in Thomas' country hometown, where she brought Schmidt with her to meet her family, including her brother-like cousin who was on leave from the military for the weekend._" Jade had to take a moment to recompose herself. Chad had spilled nearly _every_ detail about them to this magazine. "_As you can easily see, readers, these two have no intentions of letting each other go any time soon._"

After a moment of silence, James spoke up. "Is that all it says?"

Jade nodded, tossing the magazine onto the coffee table in front of her with frustration. "Besides the poll asking whether readers think Kendall and I are a good match, yeah." She rolled her eyes, feeling them burn as if she was on the verge of crying, but no tears came. She wasn't going to let Chad push her to tears. Again. She felt more sick than anything.

Everyone dwelled in a heated silence a while longer, their shared anger brewing at the thoughts of what was happening. Jade tugged Kendall's arm towards her in an attempt to make herself more comfortable, even though she knew it wasn't her position causing the annoying feeling. Kendall obliged by turning his body towards her more and letting her posture slouch into him as he wrapped his arms securely around her. He kissed her hair and let his lips linger there while he drowned himself in thoughts and his feelings.

Kendall didn't know what to do. The only clear idea in his mind was him beating Chad to a pulp, but Jade had already made him promise that if he was going to New York with her, he had to let her handle things herself. He knew she was just being strong and looking out for herself, but it bothered him that he wouldn't get the opportunity to lay a hand on the deserving career-ruiner. As Jade's boyfriend, wasn't he entitled to protect her? Kendall wasn't a violent guy by nature, but he had wanted to kick Chad's ass since the first time Jade ever told him about him. She had cried so many tears over him, and Kendall didn't appreciate that Chad had caused that.

The blonde broke out of his trance when Logan suddenly spoke out. "I'm really fuckin' considering buying my own damn plane ticket and going with you. That fuckin' dick better sleep with one fuckin' eye open-"

"Logan, calm down." Jade shook her head in disagreement about him flying out to New York.

"Jade, I'm kind of agreeing with Logan," Dianna murmured with her naturally quiet voice. James had called their whole "clique" over when he came across the magazine, hoping everyone could come up with possible solutions. "This guy's got it coming. I mean, leaking your relationship is one thing, but knowing that it would get you fired and doing it anyways… Jade it's like he had a motive or something." She shrugged uneasily, but Kendall was nodding fervently in agreement, like he had been thinking the same thing the whole time.

"You make it sound like he committed murder or something," Jade mumbled, wishing more than anything that she could just get away from everything for a little while.

"He murdered your career, Jade," Carlos declared sadly.

Dustin nodded, a solemn expression on his face. "It was pre-meditated and everything."

Jade wanted to laugh or at least crack a smile, but she just couldn't find it in her. No one else was really in a joking mood either. Especially Leslie, who had hardly said a word since they concluded that it was Chad who had taken the picture. Jade sighed, tapping Kendall's leg with their entwined hands to get his attention. "You should go call your mom."

He nodded, but he found that he wasn't really ready to let go of his girlfriend. He gulped, trying not to let the battle inside him show on his face, but he knew that if he went off alone, he'd probably have a meltdown. "She uh," he stammered. "She's gonna want to talk to you too…"

Jade just showed her cooperation by sitting up and breaking his hold on her torso so they could stand up from the couch. Kendall found his grip on her hand as quickly as he could before he led her into her bedroom with barely a "We'll be back" to their friends in the living room.

"I can't even make fun of them with a sexual joke right now," Logan mumbled, falling back so that he was lying on the floor and knotting his fists on his forehead. He had a dirty mind and the mouth the match, but he was fiercely protective of his best friends when he had to be. And that feeling was pulsing over everything else, the feeling of hatred towards this Chad character for purposely trying to ruin Jade and probably Kendall too.

"So maybe you do have a little regard for human emotion," James weakly joked, referring back to what he had told his dark-haired best friend when they spilled Kendall's past lifestyle choice to Jade so many months ago.

One corner of Logan's mouth turned up into a half-smile. "When it comes to you guys, yeah, a little." He met Dianna's gaze as she looked down at him from her spot on the floor nearby, and his smile softened sweetly. No one caught the uncharacteristic exchange.

* * *

><p>"Hey Momma," Kendall muttered nervously, nuzzling his face into Jade's chest as he wrapped himself around her on her bed. He had his phone on speaker, so all three could talk. Jade giggled faintly at the contact, and the sound warmed him.<p>

He had begun pacing when they entered her room, anxiety building up inside him after willingly separating from his girlfriend, thinking he had his emotions in check, but he quickly realized he didn't. He nearly melted into her embrace after she opened her arms up for him, sensing that he was about to break. She just couldn't figure out why he was closer to losing his mind than she was.

"Hi Kendall, honey. How are you two doing?" Kathy didn't have to ask to know that things were not well in the world of Hollywood for her son and his girlfriend.

Kendall shrugged, then realized she couldn't see him, so he spoke up. "We're uh… we're-"

"Angry," Jade interjected.

"Yeah," Kendall whispered.

"Do you know who took the picture?" Kathy asked with a hint of malice, almost like she just knew it was someone out to get the young couple.

"Remember that guy I told you about when I started hanging out with Jade, that hurt her like a year ago?" Jade looked down at him, surprised, and he glanced up at her sheepishly. Besides the guys, his mom had been his go-to person when he wanted to discuss Jade.

"It was him, wasn't it?" she asked knowingly. When neither one answered her, she just continued softly. "How bad is the damage?"

"Jade lost her job, Momma," Kendall murmured, tightening his hold on his love as he squeezed his eyes shut. The anger just kept coming back and he had nothing to take it out on.

Kathy sighed. "I was so worried something like that might have happened. I'm so sorry, my dears." After a moment's pause, she added. "You two are welcome over here whenever you want, and for as long as you want. It could be a good getaway from all of the craziness."

"Thanks Kathy," Jade said gratefully. "We uh, we might have to take you up on that…" Her eyes were burning again, but just like before, she forced the feeling away. No crying. Suddenly jerking her mind out of the dark, Jade heard a familiar barking through the phone. "Oh my gosh and you've had Daisy so long! We were supposed to pick her up today. I'm so sorry!" She felt Kendall gasp against her chest; he had forgotten their poor puppy as well.

Kendall's mother let out a laugh. "It's perfectly fine! Daisy is welcome to stay as long as you need her to. You can reunite when you come to stay a couple of days, alright? Just focus on working things out over there. And Kendall?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't do anything stupid, son."

The blonde managed a chuckle. "I wouldn't count on that, Mom."


	14. Anxiety

**14 – Anxiety **- _"I swear, he'll only dress you up, go out just to show you off. Girl, I don't know what you see; you're more than just a mannequin to me." – The Summer Set (Mannequin)_

Kendall's brain was having trouble keeping track of everything happening around him. Some of the information shouldn't have affected him at all, but it was nagging at him like it was planning to cause problems in the future.

Kendall and Jade's flight to New York had a layover in Dallas. After calling around to some of her friends and family, Jade found out that her friend Liz was in the area on a sort of vacation. So naturally, the three met up near the airport while waiting for the next flight to take off. But what threw Kendall off at first, was that Liz didn't come alone. Liz had a two year old child. Then while Kendall attempted to keep up with the girls' heated discussion about hot-topic-Chad, he found out that Liz was the offender's cousin. But then the worst possibilities brewed in his mind when Liz mentioned something about Jade being the kid's godmother, but after an obvious kick to the shin under the table, never mentioned a godfather. Kendall had a pretty good idea who that would be.

Piling that on top of the mess in Hollywood and sitting on a flight, knowing he was only a few hours away from being near his least favorite person on earth… Kendall was stressed. But he pushed it away for the sake of being a man and staying strong for his girlfriend, because he knew his stress didn't matter right now. But it didn't stop his questions.

"Look, I swear I'm not mad or anything," he started quickly, tightening his grip on Jade's hand as if expecting her to rip it away from him. "But isn't that something you should've told me…? You know… you having a godchild…"

Jade bit her lip with furrowed eyebrows. She didn't know why she had never told him about Macy being her goddaughter. She hadn't intentionally kept it from him, it just never got brought up. "I don't know why I never told you…" But then she was struck with a horrifying thought. "B-But if you're w-worried about suddenly being s-stuck with a kid to look after, I understand…"

"What! No!" Kendall frantically shook his head. "No, I love you, and if that happened, we would work through it, I promise." He lifted her hand to place his lips to it. "I'm more concerned about who I think the god_father_ is…"

"You caught that, huh?" Jade smiled weakly.

"So I'm right. It's Chad." He had nearly his whole body facing her, nervously anticipating her answer.

She slowly nodded before turning to meet his intense stare. "Yeah, it's Chad… but… can we not add that to our growing list of stress-factors right now?"

* * *

><p>Jade was ready to explode with every emotion flooding her system as she impatiently waited for the elevator to arrive on Chad's floor of the apartment building situated near Brooklyn. Nervousness, fury, anticipation. Any negative feeling one could think of, Jade was feeling it.<p>

She had gotten Chad's address from Ace, who lived with him now. But when Ace found out what was going on, even he, with his heart of gold, was ready to remove Chad from his life. Ace felt guilty, feeling like the end of Jade's career was really his fault, because he had been the one to drag Chad along to Jade's homecoming party in the first place. But she wouldn't hear of it. Jade didn't blame anyone but Chad.

And now she was going to face the bastard alone. She had a feeling she would regret not watching Chad get beaten to a pulp by Kendall later on, but for now, she just couldn't fathom the idea of Kendall initiating a fight. So she forced him to stay downstairs, out of temptation's way.

As soon as Chad's apartment door opened, and she saw his face, words started pouring from her mouth. "You're a fucking asshole, you know that! I don't know who the fuck you think you are-"

He smoothly cut her off. "Wow, so good to see you too, love. Why don't you come inside before someone calls the cops because of the commotion, ay?" He smirked, and Jade wanted to scream at how calm he was, especially when she realized this was probably what he wanted, for her to fly across the country to be face to face. She didn't understand how she could utterly loathe someone she used to care so much about.

"Sure, _sweetheart,_" she spat the word as if it was the most disgusting thing she had ever tasted on the tip of her tongue. "Let's take it inside." She shoved him away from the door so she could pass him, her skin crawling when she heard him _laugh_ at the action. She spun on her heels to face him again as he shut the door. "Now. Why the _hell_ did you do this to me?!"

Chad shrugged as if it was the simplest thing in the world. "It needed to be done."

"Needed to be d- are you _kidding_ me? Nothing _needed to be done_! What are you talking about?!"

He scoffed. "Kendall was no good for you, and you needed to see that."

Hundreds of words pushed to spill from Jade's lips until she finally sputtered out, "Kendall is _perfect_ for me, you dick! What was you sending that picture in supposed to make me see?! That he'll still stick around even though I'm jobless now!? Yeah, I've seen that. Our friends are moving my stuff out of my no-longer-mine apartment and into his house as we speak!"

"Jobless? No, that wasn't my p-…"

It suddenly dawned on Jade exactly what Chad's plan had been. She snickered at the idea. "Wow. I should've known. You thought I would break up with Kendall to keep my job, didn't you? Guess what, they don't give you that option! They just fire you! And even if they had, I would've taken him over the job anyways! What, did you think I'd come crawling back to you without him at my side anymore?" She scoffed, disgusted to even be near her ex-crush.

Chad just changed gears. "Celebrity couples don't last, Jade!" he exclaimed. "What you two have isn't fucking real! You're just a pretty piece he can dress up and wear on his arm like his own personal mannequin or some shit like that. I don't know what you see in him!"

The words were hardly out of Chad's mouth before Jade countered with her own. "Yeah well I don't know what I ever fucking saw in _you_!" she screamed. "You don't know _anything_! Why the fuck would he date me for publicity when we're not allowed to date?! Why would he waste his time?! He fell _in love with me_ Chad! That's obviously something you can't fucking comprehend!"

"Yeah? Then where the hell is he right now?"

"_Downstairs_!" Jade's anger was beginning to become uncontrollable, but she got slight enjoyment from the stumped look on Chad's face. "I made him stay down there so he wouldn't beat the shit out of you, but I'm starting to _really_ regret that!"

Chad let the information soak in before he came back with a seething tone. "I probably left you so broken, that he just felt fucking sorry for you. I highly doubt he loves you; not many people do."

That was Jade's breaking point. Before either of them could even process her actions, her fist was colliding with his open, smirking mouth with every ounce of force she had. "I have _plenty_ of friends and family that love and support me," she spat shakily, suddenly feeling numb all over. "Don't take it out on me because _your_ sorry ass can't say the same! Why do you think all of our friends, your _cousin_, took my side and left you in the dust when you came here? Huh? All you really have is Ace, because he's too damn warm-hearted to see the asshole you are." She smirked. "Or at least he was. Chances are, you won't have a roommate much longer." Laughing humorlessly, she stepped around his slumped figure and caught a glimpse of his bleeding mouth before she shoved him away from her and opened the door. "You want me to hate you, don't you?" she questioned softly, knowing he heard her but not caring either way. "Why else would you do this to me? We used to be perfect."

As soon as the door was separating them and she couldn't see him anymore, every emotion seemed to drain from Jade's body to leave her feeling even more numb than before. Her legs shakily carried her back to the elevator that opened almost as soon as she pressed the down button, and before any time seemed to pass at all, she was outside in the crisp December air and could see Kendall kicking the thin layer of snow around at the end of the outside hallway.

She made her way towards him, tightly wrapping her arms around her torso, and cleared her throat. His head shot up and he immediately walked to her. "Jade," he breathed in relief.

His fingerless-gloved hands cupped her face, but she didn't make eye contact with him right away. "I hit him," she murmured emotionlessly.

Kendall grinned despite himself, feeling a sense of pride towards his girlfriend, but anger quickly enveloped him again when he realized Chad must have provoked her and that she had probably hurt her hand if the hit was hard enough. "What did he say to you?"

"That you probably don't love me, because not many people do… among other things…" Her voice was small and her words came out quick while her eyes widened as they finally met Kendall's, almost as if she was starting to believe Chad.

Kendall's calm façade shattered with rage, an expression Jade had never seen overtaking his face as he tried to scoot his girlfriend aside and charge for the elevator. She grabbed his arm but he rashly yanked it from her grasp, lost in himself. The bastard upstairs had ruined enough for Jade without planting these ideas that no one, that _Kendall_, didn't care about her. He was so _sick_ of this guy and whatever he was trying to accomplish. He had wanted to give him a black eye from the moment Jade shared her story about him, and now he had legitimate reasons to. He didn't think anything could stop him until Jade's voice broke through the barriers of his furious mind, almost instantly deflating him. He froze right when the elevator doors opened in front of him.

"Kendall," Jade whimpered. She was right behind him, and he felt her cautiously wrap her fingers around his wrist and pull him towards her to make him turn around. "He's not worth it," she whispered once her trembling hands were cradling his head, stroking his cheeks with her thumbs. "Just… take me somewhere? Anywhere."

He knocked his forehead against hers, dissolving under her touch. After staring into his favorite eyes for longer than he could remember, he sighed and nodded, kissing her lips before leading her away from the apartment building to hail a cab. Jade's body trembled against his as the taxi pulled up to the curb in front of them, and Kendall readjusted her scarf for her, assuming she was cold. But as he slid into the cozy vehicle after her, the shaking continued and he caught a glimpse of her hand.

"Baby…" He gently took it in his own, observing the lightly bleeding cut and already forming bruises. "Did you get the asshole's teeth when you hit him?" He chuckled and she just nodded. He took in her face, surprised. "This didn't hurt at all?" he questioned softly.

As soon as he asked that, tears welled in her eyes at an alarming rate. "It really hurts," she sobbed, covering her eyes with her free hand as she finally let go and just cried.

Kendall's breath hitched as he watched the love of his life fall apart in front of him, but as soon as he could compose himself, he wrapped his arms around her, knowing more than just her hand was hurting, but her heart too. Starting from when Leslie suddenly moved out on her, Jade had managed not to let everything truly get to her. Until now. Now everything she had strongly carried on her shoulders for the last three days collapsed, betraying her, making her cry her eyes out in the backseat of a cliché yellow taxi cab.

Kendall suddenly remembered that they weren't alone, and looked to the front seat of the car to see a seemingly polite, elderly man. "I-I'm sorry," he murmured to the man, holding his girl tighter.

The man offered a friendly smile and a shake of his head. "Don't you worry about it, son. Here…" He reached down to the floor of the passenger seat and retrieved a still-sealed First Aid kit. "Fix your girl's hand up. Something pushed me to buy this this morning… and now I know why."

Smiling genuinely, Kendall separated himself from Jade and graciously accepted the kit. "Thank you." The men nodded at each other before Kendall turned his attention back to his girlfriend, whose sobbing had subsided, but her tears were still flowing. He grabbed her face and planted a gentle kiss to her forehead before tending to her hand.

Since they were in the area, Kendall took Jade to the Brooklyn Bridge where they sat and watched the sunset over the skyline, limbs entwined and meshing their lips together every time their faces grew too cold. They used this opportunity to forget about everything happening, even if only for half an hour. They talked about Jade's upcoming birthday, and how Carlos wanted to throw her a huge bash at his bungalow home. They discussed their plans for their first Christmas together, deciding that they would spend Christmas Eve with Jade's family, and fly back for Christmas day with Kendall's. Then the couple made small talk in the most comfortable way possible that only they could accomplish, until the weather grew too frigid for them to bear.

* * *

><p>"The focus is all over you two online," Kathy murmured sadly, pulling up the articles she had found for Jade and Kendall as they towered behind her. The couple had arrived at the Schmidt home before sunrise, heading straight to Kendall's old bedroom to crash, sleeping for fourteen hours after going the last two days with hardly one.<p>

Kendall squinted to read the first article from his position behind Jade, with his chin perched on her shoulder. "Oh no," he groaned.

This particular article contained pictures of all their friends carrying boxes. Pictures of them moving Jade's stuff into Kendall and Dustin's house. The story was about the couple taking the next big step in their relationship and moving in together. If only they knew they were only moving in together this soon because of their relationship being leaked.

Linked on that article, was another with pictures of Kendall and Jade in the airport, preparing to "vacation" to New York. Then there was another link, claiming that there must be trouble in paradise because the so-called vacation was cut short, only lasting a day. But the last one that Kathy pulled up for them, was about Jade paying a visit to her ex-boyfriend in New York, "unrightfully" blaming him for telling the world about her relationship with Kendall.

It was one of the first times they'd ever seen an article focused on completely bashing Jade, and though they didn't really need the confirmation, once they read that the website was for an online newspaper in New York, they knew Chad had struck again.

"We were never boyfriend and girlfriend," Jade whispered angrily.

Kendall stiffened and peeled himself away from her, resting rigid hands on her shoulders instead. "He knows that." He shook his head. "The bitch just doesn't know when to quit."

"Kendall!" Jade gasped, attempting to elbow him. She nodded her head towards his mom, who merely laughed lightly.

"Don't worry about it, Jade," she said. "I was thinking the same thing anyways." The woman shrugged innocently.

"Are there anymore?" Kendall asked.

Kathy sighed. "There are plenty more… they're just all about the same thing."

Kendall slowly nodded, feeling his all-too-familiar anxiety creep up. He just wanted the pointless drama of it all to end. He wanted the paparazzi to at least leave Jade alone, but if they were going to leave Jade alone, she and Kendall would have to separate, and he didn't think either one of them would be able to handle that.

He found himself leading Jade out of the room, his legs carrying him away without his permission. Jade murmured a "Thank you, Kathy" and let herself be led off, knowing Kendall was sinking. She was growing more and more worried about him than she was about herself.

They made it into Kendall's room, and he started pacing, exasperatedly running his hands through his hair. Jade locked the door for fear of his family walking in on an obvious meltdown, then slowly approached him. "Kendall?"

He sighed and stopped in place. "You know how I would always tell you we didn't have to be the cliché storybook couple? That we didn't have to do those typical things?" She nodded, confused. "Can we just disregard that and take a bath together?"

Jade almost laughed at his randomness; what he said hardly even made sense. "A bath or shower?"

Kendall shook his head, his expression serious. "Bath."

"Why don't we just get in the hot tub?" she suggested easily, unsure of his point to this as she comfortingly rubbed her hands up and down his arms.

He shook his head again, more frantic this time. "Then my brothers would join us, and I just want to be alone and- and-…" He was beginning to ramble, stumbling over his words as if he was uncertain whether to share what he was thinking.

Jade sensed this and cupped his face to make him look at her. "Spit it out, baby," she cooed, grazing her thumbs across his cheeks soothingly. "What's on your mind?"

After peering into her hazel eyes for a moment, Jade seemed to see the fire of tension and anger in his green ones fade into defeat. His shoulders slouched and he let his forehead warily rest against hers, on the verge of tears. "I-I'm just so _stressed_, and I know it's stupid because- because _you're_ hurt, _you're_ stressed and this isn't about me. But I just _can't stand _watching this happen to you, Jade. It's not _fair_. I just want to make it all go away for you, but I _can't_. A-And I got you the spot on the show, and now you lost it because of me-"

"Hey, hey…" Jade shook her head. "I thought we were past that. I knew the risk of being with you. If they would've given me a choice and told me I could break up with you to keep my spot on the show… I would've chosen _you_, Kendall." He calmed down considerably at that. "You're all I need."

* * *

><p>"You have anxiety issues, don't you?" Jade asked softly. They were in Kendall's Jacuzzi bathtub together, like he'd wanted, soaking in a scented bubble bath. She was sitting behind him with his body between her legs, massaging his skin.<p>

She wasn't prying, she wasn't picking fun; she was dead serious and horribly concerned. She had wondered in certain moments when he suddenly became overstressed about something and acted out, but it was always in a way that he seemed to desperately_ need_ Jade. She was just always too scared to ask him about it. But the two were being completely open with one another, knowing they were that close now; to speak their minds to each other with no embarrassment, and no regrets.

He didn't respond at first, rubbing his girlfriend's thigh in the water thoughtfully, and she waited patiently, simply gliding her hands up and down his slick, toned arms in a comforting manner like she had earlier. She held her breath when he finally began with a soft murmur. "My parents took me to get checked out when I was sixteen." He hesitated, focusing on the water where he knew his fingers were caressing Jade's thigh. "_Issues_ is a pretty good word for it, because the doctor never diagnosed me with a disorder." He sighed. "He just gave me some medication that I was supposed to take every morning. I took it every single day for two years. But the longer I was eighteen, the weaker I felt because I was taking this dumb medicine all the time. I convinced myself that I didn't need it, that I didn't have attacks because I wasn't sick anymore, not because the medication worked.

"I was off those pills for five months before I had an attack, but I quickly found other outs. In the last two years, I've discovered four things that work like the medicine. Music, alcohol, all those one night stands…" He felt her flinch behind him, and he finally tore his eyes away from the water, leaning his head back against her shoulder, suddenly wishing _he _was embracing _her_ so he could hold her reassuringly tight. But pushing that thought aside, he whispered his fourth out. "And you."

"Me?" She let out a shaky breath against his cheek.

"Are you that surprised?" He chuckled. "You were helping when I hardly knew you."

"H-how?"

He sighed, wanting more than anything at the moment to see her face. Separating himself from her, he easily turned around and scooted to the other end of the gigantic tub, grabbing her hand and pulling her with him in the process. She straddled his thighs, watching the bubbles resettle between them, covering her, before she looked at his face. "That night I called you, and you were crying over Chad, but I had no idea why at the time…?" She nodded in remembrance. "I sort of had a minor attack then. I was freaked out because I didn't know what was wrong. The fact that you stressed me out like that should've been a sign as to how I felt about you, but…" He shrugged with a small smile. "But once I called you back, the second I heard your voice and that you were okay, I was fine. I literally thought it was a miracle."

Jade sat for a while, processing the new information. "So what's the order of help from least to greatest?"

"Least? Music, unfortunately. Then alcohol, because sometimes that _adds_ stress. And… you and sex are tied, but uh… I have a feeling that sex _with_ you would be a whole new level of a cure. 'Cause I mean… I haven't really been stressed the two times we've done it…"

Jade giggled at his uncharacteristic nervousness. "So… if I see you start to get anxious…" she began seductively, swiping the bubbles out of the way and starting to close the distance between their bare bodies. She hovered over his lips and felt his hands creep towards her backside. "I can fix you?" she whispered against his mouth, tangling her fingers in his hair and tugging on the ends to elicit a quiet groan from his throat.

"You could do more than fix me if you keep this up."

* * *

><p>Jade felt guilty in Kathy's presence, blushing nearly every time she looked at her. She was metaphorically sweating, certain the pleasant woman could see into her soul and know that the girl had just made love to her son mere feet away from where she and her husband had been across the hall at the same time. Jade initiated it, and took full control for the first time, her main concern only being to bring Kendall up from his sudden slump. They had both found it utterly exhilarating, adding the contest of having to stay quiet because Kendall's parents were across the hall, and they almost never wanted to stop. The water that had soaked their skin when they landed on the bed straight from the bathtub had been replaced by sweat as they became wrapped up in a realm of fierce passion, unsure as to what had unleashed this between them. They both secretly wondered if this was going to become a problem, if they were going to become addicted to pleasuring one another, yet despite those thoughts, the only thing that stopped them was knowing they still had tonight to go back and do it all over again after the residents of the Schmidt home had gone to sleep.<p>

"Jade, dear?" Kathy had stopped chopping the vegetables in front of her to peer at the girl in concern.

Jade jerked her head up, realizing she had been rubbing her palms too anxiously against the fabric of her sweatpants at the thoughts of her latest escapade with her lover. "Sorry!" she exclaimed suddenly. "Just uh, thinking." She tried to control her breathing and remind herself that she had to get out of this sudden sexual mindset if she was going to make it through several more hours with the eyes of the Schmidts on her.

"Oh, honey." Kathy frowned, empathy lacing her features as she took Jade's anxiety the wrong way. "I'm sorry you're going through so much right now. I just wish there was more we could do to help!"

Sighing, Jade crossed her arms across each other on the bar counter in front of her, resting her chin on them. "You're doing a lovely job, Momma Schmidt." She smiled tiredly, but the woman could see she truly meant it.

"It's just not fair," Kathy huffed as she resumed her cooking preparations.

Jade chuckled. "I think every single person I know has said that." She shrugged. "I have to live with the consequences. And it sucks, yeah, but in the end… I'm okay with it because I'm losing something replaceable. I can find something else to do with my life. As long as I have Kendall, I'll be okay. Kendall's not replaceable." Jade bit her lip. Mentioning him made her think about him, and thinking about him made her longing for him grow. She looked up to see her boyfriend's mother close to tears. "Kathy," she laughed airily. "I think you cry every time I see you. I don't like making you cry…"

"No, sweetheart, trust me." The woman shook her blonde head. "It's good tears. _Great_ tears. It happens every freakin' time Kendall talks about you, too. I can't help it." She shrugged half-heartedly, quickly wiping a stray tear from her face with a small smile. "I'm just so proud of him." Kathy set her cutting utensils down suddenly, faltering when the emotion from seeing her son's change really got to her. "You saved my baby, Jade, and I'm forever grateful for it. He was so lost before you came along, he just couldn't see it. A-And I know Kendall saved you too."

Jade nodded slowly, feeling emotions similar to the woman in front of her begin to pull at her. "Yeah, I think he did."

"I'm proud of you for standing up to Chad, you know," Kathy smirked, but glanced down at the girl's damaged hand. "How's the weapon of destruction?"

"Thanks…" Jade smiled sheepishly, warmed by the woman's motherly affection. "And it's healing." They chuckled together. "Still angry at me, I think, for aiming for the open mouth with the sharp teeth and not the smooth jaw…" She cringed slightly, remembering the initial pain she felt when she jammed her fist towards Chad's lips and teeth, but it had numbed soon after as her body clouded with more rage.

"He deserved it." Kathy nodded in approval. "I normally wouldn't condone violence with my family, but that ass had what was coming to him."

Jade giggled, feeling giddy from a number of things, like Kendall's mother basically calling Jade a part of the family, hearing the woman call Chad an ass, the thoughts of what she'd been engaging in less than half an hour ago, and the fact the she could hear Kendall walking up behind her.

"What are my ladies up to?" he sang cheerfully, immediately slipping an arm around his girlfriend and planting two kisses up her jaw before he noticed her clenching and unclenching her hurt fist uncomfortably. "Your hand hurting?" he murmured questioningly, sharing a knowing look with her. The annoying pain in her knuckles had been long forgotten while the couple had roughly handled each other in his bedroom, but now it was throbbing as if she had just punched her personal career-ruiner again.

Her adrenaline was wearing off, and she could see that she had set her healing back because of her actions. She sighed with a slight frown. "Yeah. It'll stop eventually."

Kendall shook his head with a crooked smile, leaning over to place his lips chastely against her cheek before gracing her bruised and cut hand with a light kiss. "Or we can get it to stop sooner than eventually." He rolled his eyes before moving away toward the freezer to begin fixing his girlfriend an ice pack. He placed the carefully wrapped ice on her hand, simultaneously dropping a kiss to the top of her head, before moving away again to fetch her a glass of lemonade and some pain medicine, knowing she didn't like taking pills with water. Jade shook her head with a smile, sharing a playful look with Kathy before the woman gazed fondly after her son, that pride she had been speaking of before shining through as she watched him take care of the love of his life.

He set the drink and medicine on the counter in front of Jade, and pulled up a stool to connect it to hers, leaving relatively no space between them as he sat backwards and twisted his body towards hers to rest an arm casually across her lap. "Take the medicine," he cooed, near her ear, forgetting his mom was in the room three feet away, and feeling more like he and Jade were the only people in the world.

Jade pouted. "You're babying me."

"But you're my baby," he whined with a mock pout, earning a quick kiss to the lips.

"Nice save," she whispered good-humoredly, pecking his mouth once more before backing into a safe-zone she felt she _had_ to restrict herself to in respect for Kathy, even though something told her that the woman was even more carefree when it came to love as she was with everything else, especially when it came to Jade and Kendall, considering she still seemed to be in disbelief a lot of the time that her son was in a strong, long-term relationship.

Jade threw the medicine to the back of her throat and quickly drowned them down with big swigs of lemonade like a good patient, only to make the mistake of glancing at Kendall, who had his bottom lip poked out almost unnoticeably, saying he knew what she was doing, that she was basically avoiding him. But he knew she wouldn't last long; he wouldn't have either. The magnetism between them seemed to only be growing by the minute, rather than slowly fading like they had expected.

So after merely a short moment, when Jade glanced at her boyfriend again to see the same frown on his face, she gave in. She melted into his embrace while his hands found grip on her thigh and in her hair as he kissed her tenderly, keeping it gentle and sweet as if he finally remembered that the woman who birthed him was indeed standing right in front of them.

His mother began humming a tune, which the couple soon recognized as one of Kendall's original songs, as if she was attempting to give them a little privacy even though she was preparing dinner three feet away. Kendall grinned against Jade's skin as his nose nuzzled her cheek, fighting the impulse to nip at her ear or neck. "I love you," he murmured, his voice barely heard. She giggled, letting the ice pack fall from her hand still on the counter so she could sweep his hair across his forehead in a loving gesture as she spoke her obvious reply, kissing him for good measure.

Kathy's faltered hum broke them out of their trance, both smiling sheepishly at her emotional state towards them. But before Jade could awkwardly stumble over hopefully comforting words, she heard the familiar clacking of claws on the wood floor behind her, coming fast and nipping little barks as if she just knew her owners were in the kitchen.

Jade spun around and slipped off her stool, kneeling to the ground to greet her excited puppy. "Hey baby girl!" Jade swept Daisy up in her arms, getting dog kisses all over her face as Kendall chuckled, dropping down next to her and causing the puppy to struggle to love on him also.

"Hey kids!" Kendall's father's voice bellowed through the room as he walked through the doorway with a bright smile. "Boy, that pup sure did miss you two!" He chuckled as he watched his son lose his balance and fall on his butt when Daisy finally jumped at him.

"Well we missed her too!" Kendall puckered his lips, signaling the dog to lick his face lovingly. "Huh, Momma? Didn't we miss our baby girl?" he cooed, leaning into Jade's side.

She giggled, always becoming uncontrollably giddy when Kendall talked about themselves as parents, and nodded. "We sure did."

* * *

><p>Jade was seated next to Kenneth in the Schmidt's living room, conversing quietly about their lives when Kevin plopped down on the other side of her and sniffed her arm overdramatically. "Um, can I help you, Kevin?" Jade asked uncertainly.<p>

"You smell like sex," he stated matter-of-factly.

Jade scoffed, surprised she hardly even faltered under the accusation. "Kevin, please. You wouldn't know what sex smelled like if she sat on your face!"

"_Oh_! You just got burned, brother!" Kenneth exclaimed, laughing and bumping fists with Jade while Kendall's loud laugh rang out from behind them.

"My girlfriend just owned you, dude. I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed!" he joked, leaning over the back of the couch and kissing Jade's cheek.

"She did not just own me," Kevin shook his head. "That was a weak joke! In fact, I'm pretty sure I've used that one mys-"

Jade held up a finger as her phone buzzed in her hand. "As much as I would love to see you grovel at my feet, I've really gotta take this call from Logan! Goodnight!" She smirked and pushed herself off the couch to head off to a more quiet spot as she answered the phone, hearing Kendall follow her.

"Hey homeboy, what's the 411?" Jade skipped into Kendall's room, plopping down on the edge of the bed.

Logan chuckled. "You sound like you're in a good mood."

"Yeah, and I apparently smell like sex, but that's beside the point! What's goin' on in Paramount-land?"

Jade heard her friend mumble something about _fuckin' left and right_, but chose to ignore it as he finally divulged the details she'd been waiting for. "Well things are lookin' up for sure. It's safe to say they expected Kendall not to show up to work, but they definitely didn't expect more than half the cast to do the same. Even fuckin' Kathryn staked out with us!"

"Wow!" Jade was genuinely pleased. She didn't want all of these people risking their jobs, but when they insisted and she couldn't do anything to get them to back down, just like it had been with Kendall, she just went with the flow. Everyone was trying to get her job back.

Logan went on, happy he could bring semi-good news to his best girl friend. "Yeah, and I talked to Scott today. We found out that he's pretty much on your side with all this shit, and they're gonna talk to corporate about tossin' out the no dating rule and letting you come back, since y'all were so professional before and all that."

Jade gasped from the news, then accidentally let a giggle slip out as Kendall nipped at the crook of her neck with his teeth after crawling up behind her. "Are you serious, Logan?!"

"Dead fuckin' serious, Jade!"

"I can't believe they're actually considering it! I love y'all so much, Logie." She beamed at nothing in particular before her head jerked back when Kendall flicked the tip of his tongue over a sensitive spot from earlier.

Logan scoffed, having never been fond of that nickname his parents gave him, but still felt pride in it at the same time knowing Jade only used it in moments of utter elation. "Love ya too, Jade. Now go fuck your boyfriend, 'cause I know he's trying to get in your pants as we speak!"

Before Jade could defend herself or even blush, Kendall groaned, "_Thank_ you!" and grabbed her phone, hanging up and tossing the device onto the floor. "Now get up here so I can pay you back for last time," he growled seductively, stripping himself of his shirt and pants as she obediently situated herself on his bed and grabbed at him until he was on top of her and kissing her heatedly.

Kendall was beginning to realize that Jade was such a big stress-reliever because she was like all of his remedies combined. There was her. There was the sex she provided. Then her voice had grown to be like music to his ears, notes that he recognized no matter the fluctuation or setting.

And as he silenced a loud sigh of pleasure with a kiss, it was easy to see how they had become so addicted to one another so quickly because the way they connected, the way they moved together was certainly and electrifyingly _intoxicating_.


	15. Start Over

**15 – Start Over **– _"My friends all say I never hang out, no they never see me anymore… But when I'm with her, there ain't no doubt, she's everything I'm looking for. 'Cause I can't help myself, I'm in love with a girl, screamin' from the rooftops all over the world." Kris Allen (Rooftops)_

Dustin was frustrated. "Kendall man, I'm sorry, but you needed to know the truth."

Kendall begged to differ. Everything was perfectly fine. In fact, so fine that he was close to bouncing right out of his seat from the bar in his kitchen in anticipation of leaving and going to see Jade. "Dustin, you don't know what you're talking about, okay? I can't _help myself_. I'm just- I'm just… _in love_, dude. It's incredible, it's horrible, it's _intoxicating_… I could scream it from every rooftop in this fuckin' world how much I love that girl!" The blonde was nearly glowing at the idea.

"You already do!" Dustin snapped. "Figuratively speaking… you tell every single paparazzi you come across. You say it in every interview. I think you've said it more in the past two weeks, than the world has said it _combined_!"

Kendall slumped slightly. He didn't like this conversation. "I thought you were happy for me."

"Don't turn it around like that." Dustin shook his head with a sigh. "I _am_. But, as much as I'm going to sound like a selfish best friend right now, you _never_ hang out with me or the guys anymore. When you and Jade are both home, you stay holed up in your bedroom. And half the time, when you're _not_ home, you two are on some extravagant date that the press eats up like starved puppies!"

"Wow, Dustin, tell me how you really feel." Kendall smirked, his peppiness back and trying to turn this all into a joke.

But he was avoiding the problem, and it only aggravated Dustin further. He stripped his face of his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose anxiously. "I said this a minute ago, and I'll say it again," he said stiffly, almost feeling like a parental figure. He suddenly wished he never had to go through this with his own children one day. "You and Jade have this sickening, _unhealthy_ attachment. Ever since you got back from your parents' house. Your relationship is _unhealthy_, Kendall."

Kendall's smirk only grew more pronounced. "I'm pretty sure we're not the only couple on the planet who enjoy fucking each other, bud."

Dustin blinked, taken aback. He hadn't realized until this moment that he had gotten so used to new, soft Kendall and forgotten the old, sex-addicted one ever existed. Kendall and Dustin were best friends pretty much from the moment they met, but the latter had to admit, he liked the Kendall who cared more, who actually wanted to talk about his feelings more, when he had always pent them up inside for no one else to see before. But it looked like the two worlds were colliding, and Dustin didn't know how it would turn out. Kendall had been eight months celibate after two years of disgusting drinking binges and one night stands, but then Jade gave herself to him, and the old Kendall was steadily creeping back. Only instead of several "partners" to share the dividend of his urges, there was one, and she was just as insistent as him now that she had opened herself up to him in that way.

Their love was undeniable, but it was obvious in anyone's eyes that it wasn't their focus for the past two and a half weeks. They were only fooling themselves.

And now their friends were ready to intervene.

Once he mentally recomposed himself, Dustin rolled his eyes. "No, I'm sure you're not," he said with a tinge of sarcasm for effect. "Kendall you and Jade need to get out of this little honeymoon phase, like, right now."

Kendall spun around on his stool, sighing dramatically. "You're _overreacting_, Dustin."

"Alright, then let's hang out tonight. Go out to LA and see a movie or something." Dustin slipped his glasses back on his face.

Kendall cringed, his lips forming a tight "O" at the idea. "I can't man, I'm sorry. Got a date with Jade."

Dustin scowled. This was going nowhere.

* * *

><p>After almost two years of making the drive, one would think Kendall was used to the annoying distance his residence was placed from his work, but it still irked his nerves. He had to admit though, it only bothered him more than necessary because it was time and space put between him and his girlfriend.<p>

He drove as patiently as he could manage through the Paramount Pictures gates, finding his usual parking spot and trying to slow his body down as it tried to dart out of the car and into the building. He took a deep breath and quieted his steps when he saw the round red light shining above the door to the BTR set, indicating that the cameras were rolling, and stealthily slipped inside.

Taking a place next to Carlos, Kendall stepped up to the edge of the set to watch the scene being filmed. His insides instantly swelled with warmth and pride and he grinned at the sight of Blakely, Kathryn, and Dianna listening over intently to a speech being delivered with the help of a dry-erase board by a perfectly dramatic and enthusiastic Jade. He chuckled to himself and heard Carlos do the same when she started gesturing wildly in every direction possible. Kendall knew Carlos was watching for one of the reasons the blonde was.

It was Jade's first day back.

More than three-fourths of the cast had boycotted filming for nearly two weeks before corporate finally caved and gave Jade her job back. And they didn't even make her break up with her boyfriend.

Production on the last two episodes had begun two days ago, the girls just hadn't been needed yet. But the boys were itching to have Jade back to film, almost like they needed to see her in front of the camera to believe their efforts had actually prevailed and the producers and company weren't lying just to get them back on set.

There was a part of Kendall telling him he needed to be on edge; he knew that even though the big guys in charge assured that his relationship with Jade was okay, something irked him deep down, making him think that pushing it wouldn't be a good idea. But once Jade was walking off set after being told there was a ten minute break until the next scene, any trace of worry vanished and all he wanted was to spend a little time with his girlfriend.

He started to walk towards her before someone caught a hold of his arm. "Hey Kendall, man, I need to tell you something," Carlos muttered, his eyes darting around anxiously like he didn't want anyone but his blonde best friend to hear him.

"Okay, I'll uh, I'll be _right_ back…" Kendall gently pulled his arm from Carlos' grasp, glancing from him to where Jade was slowly walking, _surely_ waiting for him to come to her.

"No, Kendall-"

"I swear, Carlos. Before break's over, I'll be back." He was already walking away as he said his last few words, hardly hearing his friend sigh in defeat.

His usual smile settled on his face as he closed the distance separating himself from Jade, placing a light hand on the small of her back and leaning down to talk in her ear as they approached the hallway to the dressing rooms. "Your scene was really good."

She smirked. "You were watching?"

"You knew I was watching, darlin'," he bantered back softly with an amused smile, kissing the shell of her ear.

She giggled, shrugging. "Maybe, maybe not." She moved ahead of him and turned around, walking backwards so she could see him fully. "Good morning, by the way."

He nodded his head good-humoredly. "Yeah, since you so _rudely_ left without saying goodbye this morning." He pushed his face towards hers when he said _rudely_, a gleam in his eye.

"Stop looking so cute when you're sleeping and I won't do it again," she retorted easily. They had reached her dressing room door now. "Besides, I left you an _endearing_ note and a _lovely_ kiss, so shut it," she joked.

He shook his head and his hands found their place on her hips, gently pushing her against the wall next to her door. "But it doesn't count when…" He brushed his lips against hers earnestly. "..I don't know it's happening…" His smiling mouth met hers chastely as she brushed the hair back from his forehead.

The world _professional_ seemed to zip through his mind, but as soon as it was there, it disappeared as Jade lightly sucked his bottom lip between her own, earning a sigh and retaliation from him as he did the same to her upper lip before peppering a trail of kisses down to her neck. She giggled and moved her hands from his hair to grasp his shirt in her fists and whisper his name in his ear.

She didn't even realize she had closed her eyes until Kendall was suddenly ripped from her, harshly ringing in reality as she and her boyfriend both yelled out a "Hey!" in protest.

"Dude are you _drunk_?!" James whisper-yelled angrily.

Kendall, however, was still lost in his desire. "She wanted it," he said, biting his lip and staring at a flustered Jade.

James forcefully grabbed his friend's chin, impelling his gaze from Jade. "Get a grip, Kendall," he muttered stiffly. "The _corporate head _is here watching, but _regardless_ you're still supposed to act _professional_ on set!"

That caught Kendall's attention. Sort of. "Stacey Carter is _here_? But she never comes here!" He tore away from James and glanced back to see his girlfriend's expression had gone blank, suddenly realizing what kind of damage could've been done already.

"Exactly my freakin' point!" James exclaimed quietly. He peered around them cautiously. "This is what Carlos was trying to tell you out there. She was by the cameras when you left, but it was like we looked away for a _second_ and suddenly she was gone. For your sake I _really_ hope she didn't follow your asses down here!"

Jade shook her head, eyes wide. "I've been here as long you, James. Why didn't I know?"

"She showed up as soon as you started filming. Scott came and told Logan and me…" James shrugged uneasily. "We don't think it's a coincidence."

"So what, she's watching us?" Kendall asked incredulously.

"We've only got like, one and a half episodes left to film! They can get rid of me before the next season all they want, but can they stop making a fuss now?" Jade whined, hitting the back of her head against the wall. "Apparently they don't give a shit about contracts." She was slowly surfacing from the haze she'd been in for the past two weeks, seeing how uncontrollable her actions had become. She furrowed her eyebrows and sighed. "Thanks for the heads up, James."

He nodded curtly and Kendall frowned as Jade turned and entered her dressing room without another word. James stepped up. "We've got some talking to do." Kendall raised his eyebrows. Everyone wanted to talk to him about something today. "But not out here. Let's go in your dressing room."

Kendall mentally rolled his eyes and grudgingly followed his rigid best friend. Kendall didn't want to go to his dressing room, he wanted to know what was on Jade's mind. He knew that the two being all over one another was out of line, especially considering it was Jade's first day back, but Kendall couldn't help himself. It's not like he had been planning to take her right there in the hallway, but a little kissing never hurt anybody, right?

Kendall ran smack into James' back in the doorway of the blonde's dressing room, and with the little good judgment he had left, thought to peer over James shoulder before cussing him out. Now it was Kendall's turn to freeze in place.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Schmidt, but weren't you supposed to be in wardrobe ten minutes ago?"

Stacey Carter was sitting on his couch.

Kendall let out a hiss through his teeth in aggravation. Stacey Carter was a tall, thin, cliché business-looking woman with black-rimmed glasses and pin-straight black hair in her mid-forties. She had eyes that nearly matched her hair that sat under hardly-existent eyebrows and above small, rough lips that never smiled. No one had ever seen her in anything other than a dress-suit, and she had enough bitterness in her to blacken the sweetest tea. The woman wasn't _the_ head honcho of Corporate Nickelodeon, but she was _a_head that overlooked strictly Big Time Rush business. She's the one to give orders on firing, and she's the one who sets the rules.

"Yes, I'm sorry Miss Carter. I must have lost track of time!" Kendall forced a cordial smile. "I'll rush there now." He turned to walk out of the room but her next words stopped him in his tracks.

"Yes, Miss Thomas must be so enticing pinned against a wall like that. Tell me, Schmidt, were you rehearsing a scene out of Degrassi? Is that your little girlfriend's next career move? She is going to need one, after all." Kendall's eyes widened with anger. _Did she just threaten my girlfriend's career? _He didn't have to look at her to know that she wasn't smiling or joking. She never did those things. She let out a grunt that sounded as if it could've been approval was the woman not so venomous. "Judging by the way you couldn't seem to keep your hands off of her, I could see how you get easily distracted with that girl."

Kendall didn't know how he was supposed to respond. The way she said it made it sound like some kind of trap. Kendall didn't turn around, and he opened his mouth and closed it repeatedly before James saved him. "He hadn't seen her in a couple of days!" he exclaimed. "While we got started on our two days filming without her, Jade drove out to stay with my sister so she wouldn't be alone while my brother-in-law was on a business trip overseas." He took a breath. "So yeah, they were just… greeting each other. I bet it won't happen again." James laced his last sentence with a bit of venom directed at Kendall.

Stacey wasn't impressed with James' story. "So Schmidt can't speak for himself? I thought you were supposed to be some kind of leader."

Kendall found his voice surprisingly strong. "That's really just my character, ma'am." He laughed politely and started walking away again. "I really should be getting to wardrobe now. Thanks for stopping by!" he called back before breathing a sigh of relief because she didn't say anything else.

But what was he supposed to do with that threat? _Do I tell Jade or not?_

* * *

><p>Throughout the day, Kendall tried time and time again to get a word in with his girlfriend, but to no avail. The cast would get a few minutes between scenes, and she'd get pulled away by anyone but James; James stayed glued to Kendall's side. The blonde carried himself around aimlessly, empty, seemingly purposeless without the contact he was convinced he so anxiously needed. Jade didn't even have lunch with him, having Logan take her out for a quick bite instead. Kendall's stomach clenched, unnerved and utterly upset with the turn of events. He was so out of his right mind, he was certain this was the worst day of his life.<p>

* * *

><p>"They're just a ticking time bomb, Scott. If they haven't broken up themselves by the Upfronts in two months, Corporate will tear them apart at the seams. That girl is bad news for Schmidt."<p>

Scott balled his fists. This was _the one_downside to creating his show with Nickelodeon; he had been stuck with Stacey Carter as the head of the department. He despised this woman more than anyone else he had ever met in his life. "With all due respect, Ms. Carter, Kendall really turned his life around because of Jade."

"_With all due respect_, Scott," Stacey imitated him in a condescending tone. "I meant she's bad news for his career. That boy would give up everything to be with her. She says jump and he says how high-"

He fearlessly cut her off. "That's really not how their relationship works…"

"Oh, I'm sorry Scott. Do you sympathize with their _relationship_? Are you a pathetic hopeless romantic who believes _love conquers all_? Yes?" Stacey scoffed. "Well I will not allow this _love_ to conquer Schmidt's career. I will _not_ let some _cowgirl_ ruin this show!"

Scott sighed. He had been losing hope of saving Jade's career for a while, but now her relationship with Kendall was being threatened, and Scott was beginning to believe he had no say in his own show at all anymore.

* * *

><p>Jade's mind was racing as she settled uneasily on the edge of the bed she shared with her boyfriend. She didn't know why she was so nervous to just talk to Kendall, but maybe that's exactly what it was. The couple hadn't done much talking the past couple of weeks, and it was almost as if Jade had forgotten how to truly communicate with him verbally. And that's what bothered her more than anything. She told Kendall herself that they couldn't turn out to be a couple that loses touch and only focuses on the physical, but that's exactly what they had done.<p>

After James informed them of Stacey Carter's set appearance, Jade had gone in her dressing room and pathetically cried, knowing that in a matter of sixty seconds she had probably ruined any chances she had of continuing to work with the show past the current season. All because she and Kendall were stuck in this careless haze. She curled up in her dressing room La-Z Boy chair that felt way too spacious without her other half and sunk into memories, talking herself out of her current state of mind. She thought about how before the producers found out about their relationship, Kendall would sneak over to her dressing room, lock the door, and tangle his limbs with hers on this chair made for one while they did nothing but talk, stare at each other, and/or kiss.

The flood of nostalgia was almost unrealistic to Jade. The last time they had shared that particular kind of moment was only a little more than two months before, but they hadn't had anything like that lately. There was always the tension, the touching, and the connecting. She knew that if they had tried to have a moment like that twenty minutes ago, they wouldn't have lasted five minutes before Kendall wanted to start feeling her up, always leading to more than just that.

And that's exactly why Jade stayed cooped up in her dressing room when she wasn't needed, and why she searched for help during lunch. She wasn't one hundred percent sure why she turned to Logan, but something told her he was the right choice; he'd blatantly give her his opinions without as much fear of hurting her feelings as others, and he was always full of ideas, some of them not near as ridiculous as the man himself usually was.

That's where her nerves set in. Logan had come up with a plan for Jade and Kendall to start over, but now Jade had to talk to Kendall about it, and the couple _had_ to implement it, Jade knew, if they wanted to keep a healthy relationship.

She flinched against her will when she heard him fiddling with the doorknob from the other side. _We really need to get that fixed. _It had been sticking since before the couple had gotten together… but Jade furrowed her eyebrows in frustration as she realized she was already changing the subject before the conversation even started. She wringed her hands together but smiled as her love walked through the door, already looking to her with desperately hopeful eyes. Jade reached toward him with her trembling hands until he was there holding them and bending over to touch their lips, reluctance settling for just a second as he remembered how she had been acting since this morning.

Kendall sighed and rested his forehead against Jade's, his distress melting away now that he had her near him. "You avoided me all day…" he murmured pitifully, squinting his already closed eyes.

It was Jade's turn to sigh before she pecked his lips, and pulled him down to sit next to her. "I didn't want to."

A slight pout made its way to Kendall's mouth, couple with widened, sad green eyes. "Look, I'm sorry about this morning… I wasn't really thinking-"

"Neither one of us have really been thinking the past couple of weeks."

The Kendall this girl had surfaced knew she was right, but the original Kendall knew where this conversation was going and didn't like it. He was torn between two selves, and didn't know which one to stick with anymore. "I don't-… uh… where are you going with this?"

Jade bit her lip and studied their hands resting on her lap. "I want to start over."

"S-Start over?" Kendall started to pull his hands from her grasp but she shook her head with furrowed eyebrows and held onto him.

"We've gotten way too carried away with our relationship. All we do is freakin' have sex Kendall. And trust me, I pretty much love it as much as you do but-"

Kendall breathed a sigh of relief and laughed like she was talking crazy. "That's all this is about?" He let go of her hands and scooted close to her. "Babe, we don't need to start over; we're fine!" A throaty chuckle rumbled from his throat as he leaned into the crook of her neck and started kissing it, automatically slipping a hand between her thighs.

"_Kendall_!" Jade ripped herself away from her boyfriend, standing up and taking a few steps away. If he wasn't being so damn ignorant, she would've given in easily. "Damn it, _stop," _she pleaded. She covered her face with her hands in exasperation before taking a deep breath and turning to face him again. "We can't even have a normal conversation."

She observed the expression on Kendall's face, and it was almost just blank. The only thing she could trace was confusion. Their situation just wasn't clicking in his head yet. "Yes we can! We're having one right now!" Now there was a hint of anger.

"In no way has this been a regular conversation so far, Kendall!" Her sentences went from yelling, to nearly a whimper. "You haven't called me 'babe' since before we started dating…" She looked down. Maybe it wasn't significant to Kendall, but to Jade it meant a lot. 'Babe' and 'sweetheart' were pet names he always used on her from pretty much the moment they met, and he stopped with those as soon as he made her his girlfriend. The two words became friendly to her, words even Carlos and Logan used on her often. Kendall using it again made Jade feel so disconnected to him, more than she ever had.

Kendall sat there, utterly dumbfounded. "I-" He looked down too. He didn't know _why _he had called her that when he hadn't in over six months. Even if it was stupid and pointless, he made sure he stuck to more endearing things than _babe. _His head seemed to be clearing a bit.

Jade sat back down next to him "Kendall, listen. I-…" Jade sighed. "When's the last time you told me you love me?"

Offended, the blonde reared his head back in disbelief. "Like last night!"

She shook her head. "When's the last time you told me… just to say it, when we _weren't _in a compromising position or situation?"

Kendall opened his mouth to answer, but slowly closed it again. He _couldn't remember._ His eyes widened as he started to see just how screwed up in the head he had become over their sexual escapades. "I-I… oh my _god_."

With a sad smile, Jade squeezed his fingers. "I'm the one who said _we can't become that couple_, and then a few days later, I played a big part in becoming _that_ couple. So… Logan and the guys are going to help us start over."

Kendall sighed, thoughtfully rubbing his thumbs across his girlfriend's knuckles in continuous strokes. "So that's why you had lunch with Logan instead of me today…" he whispered.

She nodded slowly. "He came up with the idea for us."

Jade hesitated, not wanting to force anything on her boyfriend, but he seemed pretty resigned to anything. She realized she'd probably hit him pretty hard with the realization that he hadn't been very innocently affectionate towards her in weeks. The couple looked at each other simultaneously, and Jade could see the battle in Kendall's eyes. He wanted to go back, but he also wanted to stay in the now. But they had to find a happy medium.

She continued. "We go back to the basics. Dates, movie nights, making dinner for one another. No sex. We can't even make out in the beginning. No kissing on the _first_ date."

"I can't even _kiss you_?!" Genuine distress laced itself through Kendall's features at the thought of hardly any affectionate contact.

Giggling softly, Jade pushed herself forward until her lips met his for a short, blissful second. "Between now and the first date, you can kiss me, but…" She took a deep breath. "No sex starts now. And we have to spend a little more time apart…"

Jade thought the blonde could burst into tears at any moment at the thought of all the restrictions. "How long are we supposed to go without sleeping together?!"

"….Two months."

"I don't like this plan."

Jade laughed. "I don't either, baby, but it was this, or no sex until marriage, and Logan figured if that was your option, you'd end up proposing on the spot, and I'd rather you want to marry me for _real_ reasons, so…"

Kendall cracked a smile. The idea of marriage, of _him_ being married was so strange to him, yet he couldn't help but picture Jade walking towards him in a beautiful gown one day, flower pedals littering the floor, preparing to seal their commitment together forever while their closest friends and family filled the room…

And suddenly he wanted it so bad.

"Uh…" He chuckled nervously, eyes darting from her face to their hands to the wall as he struggled with what to say. "You're… probably right… I-" He sighed. "I'll do anything as long as it means staying with you."

"It's going to be hard, but it's going to be good for us, Kendall." Jade released his hands and scooted close to him to draw his forehead to rest against her own. "We're not even supposed to say I love you once the first date starts," she whispered, smiling when he nuzzled his nose against hers.

"But… but I _love you_," Kendall whined, his bottom lip poking out in a pout.

"I love you, too…" She kissed his pouty lip. "But we're supposed to be starting over."

After a moment of frustrated silence, Kendall moved on. "So what are we doing tonight? Date night?"

"No…" Kendall just stared at her. "You're going out with the guys."

Without so much as a pause, Kendall pulled her body to his, hugging her, and said, "No thanks. I'll just stay with you." He pressed his lips against the crook of her neck, much more innocently than he had a few moments before, where he buried his face.

Jade sighed, brushing her fingers gently through his hair. "…I'm not staying here tonight…" Kendall froze. "We've been blowing off our friends, Kendall…" she whispered. "I'm going out with Leslie and James and staying the night there…"

Kendall groaned but didn't argue. Jade had made her mind up, and deep down Kendall knew they needed this. And then Dustin's words from that morning rang true. He had blown off an important conversation with his lifelong best friend, stuck in denial. He sighed. _I need to apologize to him._ "How long do we have, then?" he asked his girlfriend sullenly. He may have seen how they had been acting lately, but it didn't mean he wanted to spend the night away from her if they didn't have to.

The girl turned and looked at the clock on the wall. "Logan and Carlos will be here to pick y'all up in about fifteen minutes." Kendall remained silent while Jade kissed his hair lovingly before he picked his head up to gaze at her. "Lay with me until you leave?" she asked softly.

The blonde smiled gently and nodded, placing a gentle kiss to her nose before scooting up onto the bed and pulling her with him. "I'm sorry about today," he murmured once she was nestled perfectly in his arms. "And the past two weeks."

Jade giggled. "I'm pretty sure it's been a team effort, so…"

Kendall chuckled but otherwise remained silent, holding Jade close to his chest. But it wasn't long before they were facing each other on their sides, staring intensely. "So two months, huh?" Kendall finally asked with a nervous laugh, slipping his fingers under her shirt and caressing the skin of her back. "Sixty days…"

A chill overtook Jade's body at the simple contact that she used to be able to handle, yet she only scooted closer to him and curled a finger around one of the belt loops on his pants. "Maybe if we're good, Logan will shorten our sentence…" She smirked before she unleashed a passionate kiss on him, tugging him by his pants closer.

With a throaty mumble and a simple push to roll on top of her, Kendall only unattached their lips when he was slightly satisfied. "I doubt this qualifies as being good." He quirked an eyebrow suggestively at her. "But Logan _is _the one who set the guidelines…" He hovered anxiously over her, becoming more and more uncertain how he was supposed to go without being_ with_ her after having more than his fair share of her for more than half a month.

"Until our first date tomorrow night, this is safe." Jade frowned. "But we only have now, and then James and Leslie are keeping me hostage until an hour before our date that _you_ have to plan…"

The look of distress from before was plastered back on Kendall's face. "You have to be away from me for _that_ long?!" He plopped back down on his side, carelessly tossing an arm across her stomach. "Did I mention I don't like this plan?"


	16. Choice

**16 – Choice **- _"From the get-go I knew this was hard to hold. Like a crash the whole thing spun out of control." – All Time Low (Time Bomb)_

The night apart wasn't easy for the couple, but as the night faded into dawn, they realized how much they had truly missed their friends' company, and they knew it was only a matter of time before they were together again anyways, and there was no need to fret. Logan, Carlos, and Dustin even helped Kendall plan his "first date" with Jade, knowing that leaving her out of the night altogether would probably be too much for their possessive friend.

Kendall and Jade had reunited for merely ten minutes before Kendall was rummaging through their closet for clothes for the both of them, insisting on the element of surprise yet again.

"This doesn't involve a blindfold, does it?" Jade whined, already knowing the answer as she watched her boyfriend work his way through their clothes. With his back to her, Kendall forcefully retained a laugh, not answering her. She groaned. "Nothing good ever comes out of me being blindfolded, Kendall."

He scoffed. "Oh whatever, you know that's not true!"

Jade smiled sheepishly. She did know it wasn't true. The first time, she and Kendall had been doing an acting exercise, but Kendall had used it to his advantage and turned it into a kissing session he had complete control over. How was _that_ bad for her in any way? The second time had been for their one month anniversary. He ignored her all day, then had Leslie pretend to want to take her to some awesome place James had shown her, but wanted to implement the experience with a blindfold. She drove Jade to Kendall's, where he had set up an expensive dinner date in her favorite room, then took her to see a movie in a friend's home theater. She sighed, coming up with some kind of defense regardless. She still didn't _like_ being blindfolded. "You know, the fact that you have blindfolded me on _more than one_ occasion before is _slightly_ unsettling…"

He just rolled his eyes, laying out her clothes on the bed behind them. "Look, you at least get to see your clothes this time!" He chuckled when she quickly turned around and moved to the edge of the bed, hoping the clothes would give her some kind of clue. They didn't. Not really, at least. It was just a v-neck and sweatpants.

"So it involves being comfortable this time, instead of dressing up?"

She turned to face him again and saw him step up to her with a soft smile gracing his face, nodding. He had really missed her in the twenty-four hours they hadn't been together. After a moment of staring intently at her, he moved aside and dug through the drawer of his nightstand until he found the bandana he'd put in there. He smiled apologetically as he hung it in front of her face.

"But-" She started to protest but he shook his head, causing her to pout.

Even though he didn't need an excuse, he used the bandana to get close to her, tying it around her head from in front of her blindly. He let out a slow breath against her ear and it took a few agonizing seconds to realize the feeling pricking at him was nervousness. For that moment, it really did feel like they were back in the beginning, preparing for their very first date, or even their one month celebration. When Kendall was careful with her.

He couldn't lie; he kind of missed it.

But Jade's next words rang in reality for him. "You could've let me get dressed first."

He smiled though she couldn't see, and tugged gently at the straps holding her robe closed over her stomach, undoing them so the material fell to her sides, revealing her black lace bra and underwear.

"Kendall…" she murmured, shivering when the cool air of their room hit her exposed skin. She knew that if he tried something, she was helpless against him; she would all too easily give in, regardless of their agreement.

She felt his nose slide against hers and his shaky breath warm against her lips. She confidently raised her hand to touch his cheek, truthfully not needing her sight when it came to the two of them being this close. The way they functioned together was natural now, a way of life. Kendall slid his hands onto her shoulders, allowing a couple of fingers to slip under the silky material of the robe. "Leslie got to dress you…" he slightly whined. She murmured his name the same way she had before, and he sighed. "I promise I'll behave myself."

Jade simply gulped and nodded, giving the okay for him to continue what he was doing. Kendall easily slipped the robe down her arms and onto the floor. He let his lips touch her shoulder before his hands latched onto her lower hips firmly, and he started a trail of chaste kisses beginning with her lips and moving down. First he pressed his lips to the base of her throat, sliding down to make contact with her chest, lingering over her heart for a moment. He continued down to her stomach until he lightly landed on his knees, placing his final kisses to each of her hips meaningfully, almost as if letting her know that she was still his, in every sense of the term.

Her body trembled under his hands, her skin tingling everywhere his lips touched, but she did everything she could to push the feelings away until Kendall moved on to actually getting her clothes on. Once he smoothed her shirt over her stomach, Kendall smiled and leaned forward to kiss her cheek. "Give me a sec and I'll be ready, okay?"

She smiled despite the desperate feeling of wanting to see his face poking at her, and nodded. "Okay."

* * *

><p>"Kendall, don't you think this could be kind of dangerous?"<p>

"Carlos?" Jade questioned, more than sick of the bandana blinding her by this point. "Is that you?"

The latino chuckled. "Hey sweetheart."

Kendall sighed, going back to his friend's question. "It's not like I'm gonna let her fall, Carlos!"

"Fall? There's a chance I could fall? Carlos where am I? Why am I in danger?" Jade frantically threw out question after question, her skin crawling with the irritation of not knowing where the hell she was.

"Oh my god Carlos did you _have_ to say that?" Kendall groaned. "Jade, you're _not_ in danger. Don't you trust me?"

She could just hear the natural smugness radiating from his voice, that she knew would have been accompanied by a smirk had he not been so anxious about whatever situation they were in right now. "Of course I do," she droned.

"You don't sound so sure," Carlos laughed.

"Carlos! _You're not helping_!" the blonde muttered through clenched teeth. "Look, help her jump on my back and I'll just _carry_ her up there!" Kendall quickly grasped Jade's arm, eliciting an accidental shriek from her at the unexpectedness of it. An annoyed groan escaped his throat again. "_Thanks_ dude, now she's scared!"

Jade sighed exasperatedly. Kendall could be so difficult sometimes. "Shut up, Kendall. I'm just sick of this stupid blindfold!"

She felt his oh so familiar fingertips skim the line of her jaw and his breath hit her ear before she even felt the heat from the close proximity of his body. She melted, forgiving him before the words even left his mouth. "I'm sorry," he murmured before laughing lightly, the sound sending the best kind of chills crawling through Jade's spine. "After tonight, no more blindfold dates, okay? I promise."

"Good," she whispered.

Kendall gently kissed her flushed cheek. He knew the way he planned things irked his girlfriend, but it was the annoying hopeless romantic part in him he never knew existed until she came along. He just loved the idea of setting up something amazing, leading her to it blindly, and unveiling the sight so that, besides him, it was the first thing she'd see.

With much less bickering than before, Carlos aided his blonde best friend in hoisting Jade onto his back, seeing them off up the steps of the Latino's secret stairwell and through the door to the hidden rooftop terrace.

The cool January air hugged Jade's cheeks after a short pause and the creak of an obvious door, and she burrowed her nose into the hood of his jacket, nuzzling it against his neck. The warmth elicited from the gesture launched waves of adoration coursing through her unexpectedly, much different from what she had been feeling for the past two and a half weeks.

"So you're not mad anymore, right?" Kendall mumbled quietly although they were now alone.

Jade giggled, nudging her face into his hair. "Don't you remember? You're too perfect to stay mad at."

His face flushed at the compliment, but he simply scoffed and loosened his careful grip on her thighs to ease her off his back and then bit his lip anxiously as he turned to face his girlfriend, nearly melting when he saw she had ripped the bandana from her head, but only had eyes for him. "Hi," he muttered with a crooked smile, taking a small step towards her.

It took every ounce of will Jade had to stay glued to where she was standing. She grinned. "You're still blushing. I missed this kind of stuff more than I thought."

Kendall rolled his eyes and slipped his hand around hers to gently pull her towards the blanket resting in the middle of the set up. "So how do you like our spot tonight?"

That's when Jade finally observed her surroundings. Laughing in awe, she let Kendall pull her down to sit next to him. The space wasn't huge; it was square and close to the same size as their bedroom, but it was definitely a beautifully simple sight for sore eyes. The sides of the raised roof around them sat only a few feet above the flat rooftop and were lined with bright white Christmas lights, lighting up their  
>"spot" enough to see the surface surrounding the blanket was littered with roses and there was a small ice chest sitting in the corner. "It's beautiful, Kendall. As always." She leaned against him while he tangled his fingers with hers. "What's with the ice chest?"<p>

He grinned. "Dessert."

"Mmm," she mumbled with content before turning her face to gaze up at him. She sighed audibly when he met her eyes longingly.

Kendall blinked a few times as if trying to shake the feelings pulsing through him. "I want to kiss you so badly," he whispered.

She glanced at his lips before she could stop herself, whispering back as she nodded, "I want you to cheat."

The words were barely rolling off the tip of her tongue before his lips crashed onto hers with an innocent passion. "I love you so much," he mumbled into her mouth before kissing her again.

"Oh God we're so bad at starting over," Jade groaned, but fell into the warm embrace of his lips once more. "But I love you too."

"People kiss before they're together all the _time,_ so I mean I think we're safe for our _first date_," Kendall defended for the both of them. "We'll stick to our other rules. No making out, no sleeping together… I promise. But I can't go without being able to kiss you when you're sitting right in front of me."

Jade smirked playfully. "You're a special one, Mr. Schmidt." She reached up with her free hand to poke his nose. "I think I just might keep you."

Kendall's expression scrunched up at the contact, then the contours of his face relaxed into a brilliant grin as he gently knocked his forehead against hers. "I'm afraid you don't have much of a choice, darlin'. 'Cause I'm _definitely_ here to stay."

* * *

><p>The lovers went back to the basics. Stargazing. Once they indulged in the delicious ice cream treats Kendall had packed for them, he turned out the lights to give the full effect of the twinkling stars in the sky while he laid back and snuggled with his girlfriend, having no intention of loosening his grasp on her any time soon.<p>

* * *

><p>"When do you think we're gonna get word though? It's been two months since we finished filming! I just wanna know!" Jade plopped down on Kendall's side of the bed, landing face first on his pillow. She anxiously breathed in his scent, relishing in the way her nose tingled when the electrifying natural smell made itself known to her senses. She sighed, tightening one hand on the phone glued to her ear and the other crumpling the sheets in her fist, imagining it was Kendall's shirt, not just his bedding.<p>

Kendall and the guys had been overseas in Germany for almost two weeks doing shows, signings, and interviews since their EP had just gone gold over there. It was a last minute trip, which only made it worse for Jade and Kendall to separate like that, to put so many miles between them so unexpectedly. But they only had one more day to make it through. The couple would reunite tomorrow. All five of her boys would come over for a meal prepared by her and Leslie, and when the group festivities were over, Jade and Kendall were going to escape to their room for a special night of making love, their true reunion, for the first time in over two months.

Kendall chuckled lowly into his phone, filling Jade's ear with a melody she so dearly needed in person. "Be patient, my love," he said adoringly. "We just found out they greenlighted season 2. It won't be long before they're calling and begging you to come back because you're _amazing_."

Jade's eyes slid shut, trying to the best of her ability to imagine Kendall actually next to her, with his voice in her ear and scent in her nose. She sighed again. "What if they don't?"

"They _will_, Jade." It was silent between the two for a moment, each soaking in each other's identical anxiety. They just wanted to be together. "I'm counting down the minutes until I get to see you again," Kendall finally murmured.

Smiling softly, Jade curled up where she was, slipping her feet under the sheets. "Me too."

After exchanging their usual sweet _I love you_s, the couple reluctantly hung up their phones so Kendall could go to bed earlier than usual in an attempt to get himself closer to a normal sleeping schedule before he was back in Jade's arms.

Jade inhaled deeply, curling her arms around Kendall's pillow and hugging it closer to her, perfectly okay with the idea of sleeping the day away if it meant there was some kind of connection to her slumbering handsome partner. But just as he slipped into view in her dreams with his ever-charming smile, her cell phone's loud ringtone sounded, jerking her out of her slip to unconsciousness. "Hello?" she answered lazily, not even bothering to check the ID. Kendall had probably just forgotten something, or couldn't sleep.

"Did I wake you?"

Jade's eyes shot open. She'd recognize that robotic, feaux-polite tone anywhere. "Um, no, Ms. Carter, I'm awake."

"Swell," the woman stated, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Are you home? I need to speak with you."

"H-Home?" Stacey Carter never _ever_ made home visits. Jade frantically sat upright, expecting either a lottery win, or to be murdered. She figured the latter out of Stacey Carter.

"Yes, Thomas. That place that shelters you from the rain and that you sleep in."

Jade managed to find it in herself to roll her eyes. "Yes ma'am, I'm home. Y-You uh… you know where I live?"

"In the apartments we assigned you to, yes," Stacey muttered, annoyed as if Jade was a distraction.

That's what Jade had been afraid of. "Um, no ma'am… not since you uh-… since you fired me before…" When the strict woman didn't say anything, Jade continued, truly fearful for her life now. "I live with Kendall…" she said almost inaudibly.

But Stacey had no trouble hearing her. With an aggravated huff, she said, "Very well then. I'll be there soon," and hung up.

Jade jumped up from her and Kendall's bed, panicking. She stripped out of her short cotton shorts and Kendall's t-shirt and frantically threw them into the closet, grabbing a more presentable top and then a brush to run through her hair before she turned the room upside down searching for her simple blue jean shorts, only to find them neatly folded in her drawer where they belonged. She silently thanked her mom who had flown in for a few days to keep her company, and done the laundry, then slipped them on.

Her insides were bubbling over with anxiety as she picked at the ends of her shorts while she waited for everyone's least favorite Corporate Rep to arrive at her home. The reason could've been a million different things-some good-but Jade knew, with it being Stacey Carter, there was no way this visit would bring her anything good.

Jade jolted out of her trance and froze when she heard the doorbell sound, followed by an authoritative knock. Stiffly, she rose from the couch and reluctantly carried herself to the door, expecting the worst.

And that's exactly what she got.

"Let's cut right to the chase, Thomas," Stacey snapped after being politely offered a drink, snack, and a seat, none of which she took.

With a mental sigh, Jade gently took a seat on the edge of the couch while Stacey stood in front of her with her hands placed stiffly on her hips. Robotic. Everything about Stacey Carter was robotic. Including her spectrum of human emotion. "Yes, Ms. Carter?"

"Well for one, you're not coming back for season two, so don't even _think_ about thinking that is what this visit is for." Jade felt her heart drop into her stomach, and struggled not to let it show in her face. She just stared at the woman who was ready to ruin her life. "For two, since you and Schmidt do not seem to plan on breaking up-"

Jade somehow formed words. "Who _plans_ on breaking up?"

Stacey ignored her. "Nickelodeon is sending you out to London for a two-year-one-movie deal for NickUK. It's a new approach to children's Science Fiction, and you're the lead."

Jade's world stopped spinning, but her mind picked up speed. She felt nauseous. She obviously wasn't processing Stacey Carter's words correctly, because it sounded like she had _no choice _but to go to London for this random movie. Jade hadn't signed any contracts. She hadn't agreed to anything. _What was happening?_

Stacey didn't miss a beat. "Your living quarters will be paid for; you will be living with your co-star. You and Schmidt are _not_ to remain in contact, whatsoever."

Suddenly Jade was on her feet, even though her legs felt like jello. "You can't _make_ Kendall and I be apart. Look, Ms. Carter, I'll stay away from the show, Kendall and I don't have to work together… I'll find something else to do with my life, but I'm not leaving him behind." She didn't know how her voice sounded so strong, especially when she felt her heart being shredded to bits. How could she seriously not have any control over this?

But once again, Jade was ignored. "You've made him soft, Thomas. You've turned him into a lovesick fool that is distracted by every little thing you do, cares more about you than his work, and who would quit everything he's worked towards to be with you. We can't have that. He's got too much potential to waste away on someone like you."

"W-Waste away…?"

"That is what I said, _dear."_ Jade had never heard such an endearing term sound so venomous. "You are through in California. You are through in this country. You will make your new living in England, where you will be nowhere near Schmidt. Oh, and your flight leaves the day after tomorrow."

Jade nearly choked. The words _this isn't happening_ repeated over and over again in her head as her world crumbled around her. She _had_ to have a choice, right? But she was having a hard time even forming words. She had settled with screwing her job as long as she got to be with Kendall; that was her _choice_, but now it was going to be the other way around… she was being _forced_ to leave the love of her life. "I-I don't want to go to London."

"I'm afraid you have no choice,_ sweetheart_."

Jade was slowly shaking her head in disbelief. "But you always have a choice."

"Yes well, yours is go to London, or both you and Kendall are fired. How about Logan as well? You two are pretty smitten." Stacey smirked when Jade's eyes widened at the idea of them being fired simply because of her. And she knew the Corporate bitch would do it; she would fire Kendall and Logan, and who knows who else if Jade didn't leave as she wished. "I'll also make sure that none of you get a job in this industry ever again."

"I-I can't just… _leave_ him…" Jade whispered painfully, more to herself than anything. Just the idea sent pangs of guilt and pain rampaging through her body, ripping her apart at the seams.

The fake sweet tone that spilled through the robot's lips with her next words made Jade want to throw up. "Just look at it this way. Relationships in Hollywood are kind of like a time bomb. They're always destined to explode."

"Fuck you," Jade spat shakily.

Stacey simply rolled her eyes. "Scott will be here before dawn to pick you up the day after tomorrow. You will only bring one bag of your things. Your car will be picked up in the middle of the night. And I suppose you can bring that dog of yours."

As if on cue, Daisy trotted up to prance on her owner's feet, and when she received no response from the frozen Jade, she hopped up onto the couch in an attempt to be more level, nudging Jade's leg as if sensing her intense anxiety.

After more words slurred their way through Jade's head, after she lost any sense of life direction, any idea of happiness, she was alone again, falling to the couch with tear-blinded eyes, uncontrollable sobs tremoring through her body. All she had in that moment was Daisy, who crawled onto her lap and licked her hand until the dangerous sobs subsided.

* * *

><p>The rest of the day was nothing to Jade. Everything was crying, or staring blankly at a wall. Every time she lifelessly tried to look back on her day, everything was a darkened tone, like a scary movie or a nightmare, and she couldn't wrap her head around it. The moment she had fallen to the couch when Stacey Carter had all-too-happily left her home, every ounce of energy drained from her body, stranding her on the living room couch until she had cried herself dry.<p>

Before she knew it, the whole day had passed. She hadn't cried in hours, but she hadn't moved much either. When she did move, nothing made sense. Somehow, her body eventually picked itself up, retrieved the grocery list she had made in the morning when everything was okay, when everything was perfect, and then she was off to Whole Foods and the local supermarket, to restock Kendall's usual foods, and pick up the things she needed to make dinner for the guys when they got home. Because everything had to go on as planned. She would make dinner with Leslie, and enjoy the much missed company of her friends.

Kendall couldn't know she was leaving.

The tears were back by the time her head hit her pillow at close to midnight. She knew this would probably be the last time she had to herself, to get these pathetic sobs from her system. If she slept as long as she felt she needed, Leslie would be over before Jade had even awakened. And considering Jade never checked her phone, let alone answered any calls or texts, she figured her best friend would be over much earlier than planned.

* * *

><p>Her dreams made her feel that everything was going to be okay. In her dreams, even though her inevitable doom was in sight, Kendall held her endlessly and whispered sweet nothings to her to ease her sorrow. The feeling of his arm cascaded so caringly around her became so realistic-feeling, it actually drew her from her slumber. She huffed, annoyed, and slowly lifted her eyelids to see the room showered in daylight. <em>How long did I sleep?<em> It had to have been at least noon.

And then she realized there _was_ an arm wrapped around her. It hadn't only been in her dreams. It was _his_ arm. She gasped, vaguely remembering what had happened the day before, and frantically turned to see a smiling Kendall in her face. "Kendall!" she breathed in surprise. "You're home!"

His grin only grew as he brushed some stray hair from his girlfriend's face. "I caught an earlier flight than the guys."

Before she could stop herself, Jade kissed him hard, only to pull right away and cover her mouth with her hand. "I'll be right back!" she exclaimed with wide eyes. She hadn't planned for their first kiss after two weeks to be paired with her morning breath. Kendall just chuckled and shook his head, watching as she nearly fell out of bed and ran to their bathroom to brush her teeth.

But as soon as Jade reached the sink, reality hit her. That had been the last time she would wake up to him like that, the last time he would surprise her with anything, the last time they would share a goodmorning-type kiss… She felt the sobs building in her chest, but pushed them back down, taking frantic deep breaths. She had to hold herself together. She could not, and would not break in front of Kendall. And she had to bring her A-game when it came to putting on a brave face; Kendall knew her inside and out; he knew her fake smile and actions as well as he knew anything else about her, if not more. But putting every negative thought dragging her down aside, Jade hurried to brush her teeth and hair, hoping more than anything that she could keep a lock on reality.

When she re-entered her bedroom, Kendall was walking towards her, but stopped when he saw her. She'd obviously taken a little too long to get her emotions in check; he'd been coming to check on her. Instead, he smiled at the sight of her, knowing the two weeks without her had been way too long, and opened his arms.

With a relieved grin, Jade took off running toward him, jumping into his embrace and locking her legs around his waist as she planted an eager kiss to his lips. Kendall easily stepped back until his legs met the bed, and he let himself fall to it, his girl landing on top of him. "I missed you so much," she mumbled between the kisses she was giving his cheek, jaw, and ear. _Focus on the positive. Focus on Kendall._

He sighed, grabbing a hold of her face to lead her back to his mouth. "I missed _you,_" he murmured anxiously, melting under her presence and body heat he had so desperately craved while away.

After a few minutes of making up for lost kisses, the couple were back under the covers of their bed, cuddling and not intending to go anywhere for a while. "Everything's okay, right darlin'?" Kendall nuzzled his nose into her hair and ear with contently closed eyes, relief swarming inside him more than it had when he had first nestled under the covers with her upon his arrival.

Jade's breath caught in her throat but she swallowed down her pain and put on her best brave face. She _had_ to focus on Kendall being next to her again rather than the trying fate she had to meet the next morning. "Nothing's wrong. Why would you think that?" she asked gently, taking a calming breath when Kendall instinctively tightened his hold on her.

"Well I couldn't_ really_ tell but… it just… looked like you were having a bad dream…" He reached up and brushed some hair from her forehead. "Sometimes it looked like you were crying, but weren't…" He sounded pained by the sight, and a pang of guilt struck Jade hard, but she couldn't help but be thankful that she hadn't spoken in her sleep.

"Huh…" she murmured. "I don't even remember what I dreamt about." She shrugged and turned over to face him, their bodies pressed against the other's like their lives depended on it.

"You positive?" He raised his eyebrows and studied her face.

Jade stared into the green eyes that were her world. They were so ridiculously beautiful. Sometimes Jade thought she was the only one who could see the many different shades Kendall's eyes possessed; how they seemed brighter when he was around her, darker when he was angry, or this rare yellow-green when his lust was at its peak. There were so many things she had noticed about them in her time with him, but all that mattered now was memorizing every last thing about them, about him, before she was sent away for two years.

Even if she was allowed to come back after that, why would Kendall want anything to do with her after she just up and left him?

Jade smiled. "I'm positive, love."

Kendall relaxed and kissed her softly. "Good." He met her lips a little longer. "I love you, baby girl. Always."

Jade was certain she had just been stabbed in the chest. "I love you, too. So, so much."

* * *

><p>Dinner was, at best, bittersweet for Jade. The guys would always make her laugh, even more so when all together, but this was it for her. <em>This was it. <em>This was her goodbye to them and they didn't even know it. This was her goodbye to her lifelong best friend Leslie, and she didn't even know it. After this, Jade probably wouldn't even have any friends. Because just like Kendall, why would these friends want her back after just up and leaving without a word? Without any explanation? They wouldn't. And Jade was being forced to live with that.

Jade had never regretted getting into Showbiz more.

She made sure at the end of the evening to hug each of her friends as best she could without making it seem like an emotional, goodbye hug. And she had to work even harder not to cry as she worked her way upstairs to Kendall's and her room, where he had escaped to about fifteen minutes earlier. She wanted to go back to yesterday morning. Even though she didn't have Kendall with her, he had been on his way and everything was simple. It was how it was supposed to be. But now she was entering her last night with him. She had seven hours left of this life, of true love at its finest.

She stopped on the top step of the stairs, clasping a hand desperately over her mouth when she choked out a sob. The only thing keeping her wobbly legs upright was the railing next to her as tears filled her eyes and she felt herself grow weaker, reality overcoming her. She turned sharply and took off back down the stairs, the fear of Kendall walking out of their room and seeing her nearly choking taking over and getting her out of there.

Focusing on pulling herself out of reality again, Jade moved her attention to the unwashed dishes, and took deep breath after deep breath until her tears stopped and the kitchen sink was empty. She straightened up the counter and bar to give her face time to return to normal color, and finally made her way back up to her lover.

A smile instantly lit up her face when she entered her bedroom, seeing her boyfriend in only his boxers lighting one more candle next to their bed. He had set up the room exactly as she had for their first time together: candles, flowers, soft music. But something about him being the one to set it up just made it that much more perfect. "Should I have knocked first?" she asked, her grin not fading.

She expected him to jump at the surprise of her presence, but he simply turned on his heels with a small smile and shook his head when he saw her. "Perfect timing."

Jade bit her lip, unbuttoning her top as Kendall slowly approached her, keeping in mind that he couldn't lose control this time like he had before. When Jade was stripped down to her underwear, she met him halfway, standing on her tiptoes and wrapping her arms around his neck, meeting him with a simple kiss that he easily deepened, pulling her body against his when he wrapped his arms securely around her waist. But before it was taken further, Jade broke her lips from his and gazed into his glowing green eyes, causing him to nuzzle his nose with hers like he usually did. "I love you, Kendall Schmidt," she murmured, feeling him squeeze her tighter at the words.

"I love _you_, Jade Thomas," he responded softly, studying her face. Something was off about her, but he couldn't place his finger on what it was. But then she was kissing him again, this time with a fierce passion, and suddenly everything seemed right again.

And when her head hit the pillow beneath them as he hovered over her, letting out light breaths against her already swollen lips, he found himself cherishing every detail, the way her light brown hair flowed across the bedding around her head, and the way her sparkling hazel eyes, that were always more green around Kendall, shined, even in the dark of their room. He took in the glow of her skin in the candlelight, the way her hands felt grasping his shoulders, and the sighs of his name that escaped her lips when they weren't occupied by his own.

Something made him slow down. Something made him draw out their night together until they could take no more. And that feeling that something about his beloved was off was back just a few minutes after they had settled down for sleep under the covers, Jade's back pressed into Kendall's stomach while his arm was tossed securely over her side.

But once again, his thoughts were distracted as he remembered something he had wanted to talk to her about. He just didn't know exactly how to bring it up. He cleared his throat and she murmured in acknowledgment, waiting for him to speak. "I-… how… outlandish would I sound if I- if I told you… I've been thinking about… us being… married…?" he questioned gently. It was nearly all that had been on his mind since she had mentioned something about it when they decided to "start over," and he was desperate to know her actual thoughts on it.

Jade's eyes burned immediately, tears building up behind them. "A-are you proposing?" she stuttered. This was horrible, _horrible_ timing if he was.

"No…" He laughed softly, almost nervously. "I just… I've had this sort of recurring dream the past few nights, it's like all of a sudden… I see us, living in our own quaint little home, away from the troubles of the world, near the beach, or a lake. We're sitting near the water, and then suddenly these two little kids run into view." Tears were streaming from Jade's eyes at this point; it took all she had to breathe normally and not make a sound. Kendall continued. "A boy and a girl. The girl has my eyes, and the boy has yours. They both have blonde hair but everything else favors you." He lightly kissed the back of her shoulder. "We build fires in our backyard. I bring my guitar and we sing, and teach them the songs we've always loved." He sighed, burying his face in her hair. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be telling you about this. It's probably freaking you out. We haven't even been together a yea-"

"No…" She laced her fingers through his hanging over her stomach, swallowing down a sob. "It sounds beautiful."

"You think so?"

"Yeah," she whispered. She knew her face would be drenched all night. She suddenly wanted his dream to be real even more than she already had. It'd mean she didn't have to leave him.

He inhaled deeply. "One day," he mumbled, sleep obviously overtaking him now.

Her heart shattered into a million pieces in that moment. "I love you so much, Kendall." _If I didn't, I wouldn't be leaving._

He snuggled more into her. "I love you too, baby."

* * *

><p>Jade laid there for four and a half hours, staring lifelessly at the guitar perched next to Kendall's writing desk, tears leaking hopelessly from her eyes, only finding comfort in the way Kendall squeezed her hand that he was still holding every now and then in his sleep. She knew she should've been facing the other way, looking at his face rather than the objects of his room, but she couldn't risk him waking up and seeing her silently crying.<p>

It was only perfect when an hour before she was supposed to go, the biggest rainstorm California had seen in at least a year struck, and Jade couldn't help but think maybe God was on her side this morning. Maybe he was crying with her.

But then the test was upon her. Leaving without waking Kendall. Or just leaving period. It was 5AM and time to depart from the life she loved so much for good. She gently unclasped their hands and lifted his arm, sliding from underneath it and slipping off the bed as quietly as she could manage. She wiped her cheeks free of salty tears and tiptoed to the closet to retrieve the only bag she was allowed to bring with her to England. She had already thrown a few essentials into it, including a picture of her and Kendall, and a few articles of clothing, so she just grabbed a couple more shirts and shoes, and then began skimming through Kendall's hoodies, having already decided once it started raining to take one with her, not really knowing whether it would help her, or just torture her further.

Her hand ran down the sleeve of a black one she hadn't seen before, sparking curiosity. But before she thought anymore of it, she grabbed an old one, knowing Kendall's natural scent wouldn't leave it for a while, and that's exactly what she wanted. She slipped it on and picked up her bag, quietly slipping out of the closet and hurrying to the door to toss the bag into the hallway. She approached her bedside table to grab her phone, trying not to look at her boyfriend sleeping soundly next to it, and turned to leave. But she was only halfway out of the room when her worst fear in that moment came true.

Kendall woke up.

"Come back to bed, baby," he slurred through the disorientation of just waking up.

"I'll be right there. I-I've just gotta use the bathroom."

Jade tried to walk towards the door again, but his raspy voice rang clear this time when he whined, "Jade…"

Taking a deep breath first, she turned and made her way back over to him. She sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed his face in her hands to place a deep kiss on his lips. "I'm just going to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

She moved to stand up, but Kendall pulled her back down. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, baby, go back to sleep." Jade shook her head and kissed his nose.

But he was relentless, his concerns from before resurfacing. "You've been crying."

Jade froze, but quickly recovered, lightly brushing the hair from his forehead and gazing down at him endearingly. "No… no I haven't. Maybe you dreamed that. I'll be right back."

Stubbornly shaking his head, Kendall sat up, tightening his grip on her hand and pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to help himself focus more on whatever was going on, and pull him out of sleep. "No… I could tell something was wrong yesterday, and you were just in the closet…" He furrowed his eyebrows confusedly. "And then you carried something into the hallway…"

Jade felt another stab in her chest. He had been faking being asleep. "I just got a hoodie, Kendall. It started raining and I got cold. I didn't go to the hallw-"

"So if I go out there, there won't be anything… I don't know… out of place?" Kendall wasn't even sure where he was going with this argument. He could've dreamed her going out to the hallway for all he knew, but he knew what it all looked like. It looked a _lot_ like she was leaving. And when Jade didn't answer him, he was throwing the covers from his body in disbelief and running to his bedroom door. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her travelers' bag on the ground outside it. "Wha-" He spun around so quickly he was surprised he didn't give himself whiplash, and saw Jade doubled over where he had left her, trembling uncontrollably. Something was wrong. _All _of this was wrong.

In a blur, Kendall was back at Jade's side, pulling her upright and trying to force her crying eyes to look at him. "_What_ is going on?!" he pleaded with her, but she just shook her head, words unable to form in her state. "Jade, _please_!" Whatever was going on, it didn't _look_ like she wanted any part in it. Kendall didn't understand what was happening, at all.

"_Kendall_," she cried. "I'm sorry. _I have to go._"

Kendall dropped his hands from her face with uncertainty. "G-Go?"

Jade coughed, having the urge to just take off running, but she knew she would never be able to do that. "Th-They terminated my character on the show. They're… sending me over to London for a new movie project."

Kendall jumped to his feet, disbelief flooding every inch of him. "_Sending_ you? What-… you don't have a _choice_?"

Jade turned her face so he couldn't see the emotion crossing her face as she said, "O-Of course I have a ch-choice." _I don't have a choice, Kendall. Please, please see that._ "It's my c-career. It's the only w-way I can continue it- if I go to L-London."

"The only way you can _continue_-" Kendall exasperatedly pulled at his hair. This wasn't happening. "You're seriously doing this? You're seriously making it a choice, and choosing _London_." Hadn't _she_ been the one who had said time and time again that if she had to make that choice, her choice was _him_?!

"I-I'm sorry, I just-" Jade sobbed, standing up and trying to walk past him, but he blocked her way.

"_No._ If it wasn't for _us_." He motioned wildly between the two of them, indicating their relationship. "You wouldn't even be here, in Hollywood! You wouldn't be choosing between love and career!"

Jade furiously wiped at her face, wishing the tears would just stop. More than anything she had wanted to avoid this conversation, to see him so physically mad at her. But maybe this was what she deserved. "Kendall, if you had to choose what would it be? We're so young-"

"You! Jade! It will _always_ be you!" Kendall noticed her nearly collapse at those words, and quickly pulled her back up. "When I look at you…" he murmured. "I see my future. _Our_ future." He lightly grabbed her face in his hands. "And you want to- want to throw that away?"

"I don't _want _to, Kendall, I just…" She squeezed her eyes shut. "At this age, it's always going to be love or career..." Her voice cracked violently; this was _killing_ her. "Right now, the choice is, is c-career."

His hands dropped from her face as if the realization was just hitting him. "B-But, we could make it work, Jade." His face grew desperately determined. "I'd be flying to London a lot for shows and signings and promotions and-" He stopped as he noticed her just shaking her head, tears streaming down her face.

"Long-distance never works, Kendall," she whispered.

"_We_ would make it work, Jade! It's us we're talking about!" Kendall pleaded.

"It's just too f-far. Thousands of miles, Kendall…" She looked down, shaking her head again, and letting her stupid tears waterfall from her cheeks.

Kendall hastily grabbed her waist, tears welling up in his own eyes. He had done his best to remain strong before, but he knew he was losing this fight. "But, but miles don't mean anything, remember? Baby, _please_." He leaned his forehead against hers and ran his thumbs across her blotchy cheeks.

"_I'm sorry_..." She kissed him deeply, and Kendall thought he felt his world fall apart right then and there; the kiss was so final. But he'd never understand how hard it was for Jade. She pulled away, stroking away a single tear that had fallen from her boyfriend's beautiful green eyes, and backed towards the door, her heart only shattering a little more with each step. "I love you, Kendall. I'm so sorry." She opened the door and stepped out, meeting his eyes one last time, hoping for a reply.

He just looked at her, devastated that this was actually happening. As she slowly shut the door in his face, on his life, he murmured, "I love you, Jade."

And the door clicked shut.

For a moment, Kendall couldn't move, whereas Jade grabbed her bag and took off running downstairs for the front door, barely remembering to grab Daisy's kennel on the way out. If she didn't go now, she never would, and she'd ruin everything. But Kendall wasn't done yet. When he could move again, he made a mad dash for his closet and grabbed the first hoodie he laid hands on, the black one, then took off downstairs and out the door into the California rain.

Through the raindrops heavily dripping from his eyelashes and the flood of waterfalls cascading down the windshield of a car he wasn't sure he recognized, Kendall saw the love of his life clumsily climb into the passenger seat and collapse, covering her face with violently trembling hands. His feet were carrying him frantically towards the mystery car until he saw the driver shake his head as if warning him to stay back. Kendall squinted his eyes, certain he knew the man, but suddenly blinded by his own thick tears. This couldn't _really _be happening, could it? The rain seeping through his clothes, sticking them to his drenched skin seemed to say it was. It wasn't a dream.

Jade was leaving him.

He was standing in the middle of the driveway now, exactly where the mystery vehicle that had too easily whisked his girlfriend away had sat. He wanted the car to come back, he wanted Jade to say it was all a sick joke. He wanted to know where _her_ car was, and why some man had picked her up. And if this was all her choice, why was she so upset? What had he done to make her end this?

Kendall's body betrayed him, crumpling in on itself as broken sobs racked his body, violently sending his knees to the pavement. His hot tears mixed uncomfortably with the freezing rain pelting his face and body while he desperately clutched his stomach, searching for purchase, trying to hold himself together. He couldn't believe how quickly he was falling apart.

With one arm still wrapped around himself, the blonde frantically dug into his pocket, realizing just what jacket he had thrown on. His loud, pathetic sobs only grew more pronounced once his palpitating fingers enclosed on the small velvet box he had placed there to hide.

The ring.

They were supposed to be able to withstand any distance put between them.

Miles weren't supposed to mean anything.

* * *

><p><strong>You could consider this the end of "Part 1," as this was originally supposed to be the end of this story.<strong>

**And seeing as music plays a big part in me writing this, there is, indeed a _soundtrack_ ;)**

**1. Scream by Usher  
>2. The First One by Boys Like Girls<br>3. Boyfriend by Big Time Rush  
>4. This Gravity by Disco Curtis<br>5. Stellar by Incubus  
>6. I'd Lie by Taylor Swift<br>7. Cali, Cali, Cali by Alyssa Bernal  
>8. Uncertainty by The Fray<br>9. Wonderwall by Oasis  
>10. Crush by David Archuleta<br>11. In My Heart by My Favorite Highway  
>12. I Know You Know (Feat. Cymphonique Miller) by Big Time Rush<br>13. Hanging By a Moment by Lifehouse  
>14. Kiss Me Slowly by Parachute<br>15. Love Makes Me by Hunter Hayes  
>16. Edge of Desire by John Mayer<br>17. Forever Girl by Forever the Sickest Kids  
>18. Mannequin by The Summer Set<br>19. Intoxicated by The Cab  
>20. Rooftops by Kris Allen<br>21. Consequence by Incubus  
>22. Time Bomb by All Time Low<br>23. Daylight by Maroon 5  
>24. Miles Don't Mean Anything by Eye Alaska<strong>

**These songs either correlate perfectly with the story, or just have a couple of lines that were inspirational towards it. Haha. Anyways, I know I'm horrible for what I wrote, but I do hope you review. It's okay, you can yell at me ;P haha**


	17. Quitter

**First of all, to my readers that have been here a while, remember that the whole story has been revamped and condensed! I went from 26 to 16 chapters, and even added more content in some places. So 17 is where we pick up with Jade leaving!**

**This chapter isn't great, and do keep in mind that this was supposed to be the start to a sequel, so the beginning is a bunch of "Catch up", so just bear with me on that!**

**Also, I don't normally do something like this, but since this is so closely related, I will this time. Once you get done with the second flashback, a good song to start listening to would be Nothing by The Script. The ending scene IS based off of that song, so yeah, just if you want a little extra for your reading experience :P**

**I guess I'll let you get on with the story now. Enjoy! (And please review!)**

* * *

><p><strong>17 - Quitter<strong> – _"They say a few drinks will help me to forget her, but after one too many, I know that I'll never…" The Script (Nothing)_

_Jade furiously wiped at her face, wishing the tears would just stop. More than anything she had wanted to avoid this conversation, to see him so physically mad at her. But maybe this was what she deserved. "Kendall, if you had to choose what would it be? We're so young-"_

"_You! Jade! It will always be you!" Kendall noticed her nearly collapse at those words, and quickly pulled her back up. "When I look at you…" he murmured. "I see my future. Our future." He lightly grabbed her face in his hands. "And you want to- want to throw that away?"_

"_I don't want to, Kendall, I just…" She squeezed her eyes shut. "At this age, it's always going to be love or career..." Her voice cracked violently; this was killing her. "Right now, the choice is, is c-career."_

_His hands dropped from her face as if the realization was just hitting him. "B-But, we could make it work, Jade." His face grew desperately determined. "I'd be flying to London a lot for shows and signings and promotions and-" He stopped as he noticed her just shaking her head, tears streaming down her face._

"_Long-distance never works, Kendall," she whispered._

"_We would make it work, Jade! It's us we're talking about!" Kendall pleaded._

"_It's just too f-far. Thousands of miles, Kendall…" She looked down, shaking her head again, and letting her stupid tears waterfall from her cheeks._

_Kendall hastily grabbed her waist, tears welling up in his own eyes. "But, but miles don't mean anything, remember? Baby, please." He leaned his forehead against hers and ran his thumbs across her blotchy cheeks._

"_I'm sorry..." She kissed him deeply, feeling herself fall apart at just how final the kiss was. But Kendall would never understand how hard it was for Jade. She pulled away, stroking away a single tear that had fallen from her boyfriend's beautiful green eyes, and backed towards the door, her heart only shattering a little more with each step. "I love you, Kendall. I'm so sorry." She opened the door and stepped out, meeting his wide eyes one last time, hoping for a reply._

_He just looked at her, devastated that this was actually happening. As she slowly shut the door in his face, on his life, he murmured, "I love you, Jade." _

_Jade clicked the door shut, immediately squeezing her eyelids together as the tears streamed down her face. Kendall had sounded so broken. She grabbed her bags and ran. She had to get out before she fell out right there and got them all fired. Barely remembering to snatch up Daisy's kennel, Jade was out the door with record speed, bolting for the unfamiliar car waiting for her. She angrily tossed her bag into the backseat, managing to be careful with Daisy. Then she stumbled into the passenger's seat, soaking wet and trembling all over with coldness and sobs._

_Just as Scott began pulling the car out of the driveway, Jade peeked through her palpitating fingers, devastated to find that Kendall had followed her out there, and he looked so lost. _

_Jade painstakingly watched him until he was just a small, dark figure in the distance, falling to his knees like he had just lost his world…_

Jade jerked her eyes open, face flush with tears streaming down her broken expression. She almost calmed at the realization that it had only been a dream, until she took in her surroundings and remembered.

It wasn't _just_ a dream.

The last time she had been in the presence of her true love, they'd been in the bedroom they shared with one another. Jade remembered every detail of her personal sanctuary like her life depended on it. How when you'd walk through the door, the wall met you on your left that held the walk-in closet in which Kendall had cleared a space for her things long before they moved in together. But turning to the right revealed a perfectly-sized, open bedroom with grand doors on the far right wall that exhibited a breathtaking view over a balcony that perfectly fit the two lovers no matter what position they were in.

His walls were a dull gray that only Kendall could dress up brightly with endless photographs of his friends and family, memorabilia of all the places he'd been, a colorful, abstract painting of a guitar, an _actual_ guitar, and a double-framed poster case containing one poster of Taking Back Sunday, and the other of Incubus.

Their bed practically made of feathers sat in the middle of the room, the head against the wall you walk through to get inside, with a small, but just as comfy doggy bed lying at the foot for their Australian Shephard, Daisy, whom Jade now had with her in England. Along the wall the bed faced, Kendall had what he liked to call his "personal studio," even though they had an actual one downstairs, and it was lined with his all-time favorite instruments of his owning. Shelves rested above it that just contained more pictures and memorabilia. And next to the balcony doors sat his nearly always cluttered desk. But it was always cluttered with things like broken pencils and scrap paper that had been torn from the notebooks that resided there where he wrote down any and every idea he had for a song. And when his laptop wasn't rested there, the only other residents were his table lamp, and the white tiger she had won and given to him the night they met at the Dallas fair.

And in the corner between that and his bed stood a bookshelf that reached the ceiling that contained nearly anything you can think a bookshelf should contain. Books, records, filled in notebooks, movies, games, _more_ memorabilia. Then you came full circle to the bed that had nightstands resting on either side as if he had been planning all along to fall in love and have a lover to share space with.

It was completely _Kendall_, and completely _home_. When Jade moved in with him after getting fired from their TV show, she did everything she could not to taint the _aura_ of her boyfriend, only adding more clothes to his closet, and a picture of the boyfriend and girlfriend on the nightstand that didn't already have one, along with a double frame of her family and friends.

The place Jade was forced to be in now was too _plain_, but she kept it that way on purpose. She didn't decorate the cream-colored walls, not wanting it to feel like any form of a home when her heart wasn't even there. She fully believed the phrase _home is where the heart is._

And her heart was still in Los Angeles.

She sighed in defeat, knowing sleep was out of the question for now. It's not like she had frightening nightmares that could send you off your rocker, the dreams were more like flashbacks.

She'd almost rather have the vivid nightmares.

Her most recurring flashback was when she had to leave Kendall. The look of utter defeat and emotional pain would haunt her for the rest of her life. She had caused him exactly what she felt when Chad left her, but even more so, when all along everyone thought it was going to be Kendall to do it to her.

Chad Donovan was the first guy that ever seemed to truly care about Jade in a more than friendly way, and she instantly fell under his charm when he got a job as a lifeguard at her parents' country club. They clicked as friends, and flirted from the start. It didn't take long to become best friends, especially once realizing they already had many mutual friends; his cousin Liz was actually one of Jade's best girl friends.

But after a year and a half of useless flirting and _almost_ kisses, they still weren't a couple. They knew how they felt about one another, but something was holding Jade back, and she was leaving it to him to make a move. He finally did on New Years Eve, her last day with him. He kissed her at midnight with the fireworks lighting up the sky above them in a truly romantic notion. But the image was quickly tarnished when Chad suddenly dropped the bomb on her, letting her know that he was taking an internship in New York, and had no clue when he'd be back in Texas, or if he even would go back.

She was ruined after that. But that's where Kendall stepped in. Jade had a soft spot for Carlos going into the boyband's concert just a few months after Chad left her, and left nearly falling in love with Kendall after unexpectedly spending the evening at the closed Dallas fair with him.

Jade had an unexpected run in with Chad when she took Kendall home with her for a short vacation, which merely ended in them yelling at one another, but Jade got the closure she didn't even realize she needed, which ultimately led her to finally sleeping with her beloved of six months by then.

But Chad had other plans for the couple. He knew, because Jade had told him and their friends so, that if their producers got their hands on proof that Kendall and Jade were an item, it would end in termination for at least one of them. So he pretended he was going to make a call, and snuck a perfect picture of the couple kissing intensely after the boy met his girlfriend's family for the first time. He sent it in to Hollywood, and that, essentially, was why Jade was where she was now. However, Chad's intentions hadn't been to get Jade fired and banished to London, he simply thought Kendall and Jade would break up to keep their positions in Hollywood. But the producers of the show fired her, then took her back after the determination of her best friends and castmates, only to terminate her character at the end of the season and threaten her with this job in the United Kingdom. If she didn't take it, even if she stayed out of the acting career, Kendall, Logan, and possibly others would lose their jobs in the industry and never have an opportunity in it again.

That particular flashback, of her leaving her boyfriend, just made her hate herself more every time, even though she felt she had done the right thing by going. If she hadn't, Kendall would be out of a job he loved dearly. She couldn't be the one to take that away from him.

The good flashbacks came during her daydreams more than during slumber. They consisted of any time with her beloved. When they met, their random dates and anniversaries, when they made love, anything. She thought about their relationship every single day. She wasn't playing the "forget him" card; she needed his presence in her thoughts and heart to make it through this hell she had been sent to. Because while leaving him had _technically_ been her choice, it wasn't _really_ her choice. She was just as bad off as he was; she was just better at shoving the feelings away. And she gave the credit for her strength to Kendall. With Chad she became broken, and Kendall not only put her back together, but added a layer of steel within her skin, seemingly making her invincible.

But she wasn't.

She glared at the crème walls around her, wishing they would magically turn into her boyfriend's, just like she did every time she was awoken from a dream, or just couldn't sleep due to her newly formed insomnia.

It disgusted Jade how much NickelodeonUK actually did for _show_. They actually put Jade in this _castle,_ as she liked to refer to it, with her co-star, and only a month had passed but she had gotten word that soon the rumor-mill would be circulating, telling the country how Jade Thomas of the United States of America met Bryan Trevena at some event and fell into a whirlwind romance, leaving Kendall Schmidt in the dust and moving to London to be with this "amazing Brit." She had already tried everything in her power to stop that from happening, because she knew how news traveled. This may have been "information" meant to get around the United Kingdom, but it would end up in the U.S. if it involved Kendall and/or Big Time Rush. That was the last thing she needed, and knew it was by _far_ the last thing Kendall and her old friends needed. They were going to hate her even more now.

Upon arriving in London, she had been given a grand tour of the mansion, including her bedroom that was probably the size of the first floor of Kendall's house, but she immediately refused to live there. She didn't want fancy living arrangements, she didn't want a new roommate; she wanted Kendall back. Once she was left alone, she made her way right for the living room-sized walk-in closet and set to work. She removed the hanger-rods and tossed them into yet _another_ closet, then somehow managed to drag a mattress into the room, settling it into the corner. She brought her one bag of belongings and Daisy's kennel in as well, and _that_ was her new bedroom. A closet. And she refused to decorate the walls too. The _only_ thing she had allowed herself to hang was the single picture of herself and Kendall. It was plastered on the wall right next to her pillow, so she could see him every night.

Sometimes the only way she could manage to fall asleep was if she scooted over to make space enough for another body, and put a pillow zipped up in Kendall's hoodie in its place, hugging it close to her and making sure to memorize his scent before it faded from the clothing, a day she dreaded more than anything. But she would just close her eyes, vividly imagining his hands in her hair, on her hips and back, caressing as his lips found her skin, trailing innocent kisses all over her. Sometimes she even lost herself in the memory so much a giggle would slip through her lips, the only sign of life she ever really showed, cooped up in the corner of her closet bedroom with Daisy and the jacket; the only things keeping her sane.

* * *

><p>James had been watching Kendall from his bedroom doorway for a while, watching as the blonde either half-heartedly wrote a line down in his notebook, or just sat there, staring at absolutely nothing in particular. The guy may have gotten better in the last month, but he was nowhere <em>near<em> back to being any kind of Kendall James had ever known. He was well enough to take care of himself now, the days stuck in bed with pneumonia giving him time to shut the world out, but he still didn't do much besides go grocery shopping, showering, and eating. And he hardly even did that.

Big Time Rush was actually on hiatus now, for how long, no one knew, but everyone knew Kendall would never _truly _be ready to go back to filming, especially not with a "Season 2: Episode 1" script that focuses on his depression because Kellyn had been forced to move off to Australia with her parents…

And James was still as confused as he was the day Jade left. None of it made sense. The majority of her stuff was still in Kendall's house, some of it uncharacteristically thrown around, and the producers and Stacey Carter took the news of her departure and the need for BTR to be on hiatus all too easily, like they knew she was leaving all along. And he knew Kendall was constantly thinking the same thing, plus more. Nearly the only thing he had said to James since it all happened was "She always said if she had to choose, she'd choose me." She had told everyone that, which only made the idea that she _didn't_ choose Kendall even more unsettling.

James figured he should finally speak up and stop creeping on his friend, and sighed. "You should come out with us, man," he lamely suggested, knowing there was a good chance it'd get them nowhere. "You need to get out of the house. We're just going to the pub down the road."

Kendall didn't bother to turn around and sighed, closing his tired eyes. Maybe he wasn't ready to move on with his life, but he knew he had to stop pushing the guys away. He couldn't lose them too. "Sure, James," he mumbled.

James froze. "Really?"

Kendall swallowed. _I'm not ready for this._ "Y-Yeah. Just come get me when you're ready to go." Maybe it was time to welcome heavy liquor back into his life.

"For sure, yeah, I'll definitely come get you!" James tried not to sound as excited as a four year old getting a puppy for Christmas and trotted out of the blonde's bedroom door, only feeling accomplished for a moment. It was obvious Kendall didn't _want _to go out, and that's really what James needed, was for Kendall to _want _to get out and on with his life. But he supposed this was a step nonetheless. He was still a wreck, even if he was pretending not to be at this point. He still broke down every day, usually at night as James had witnessed by ear the few nights he had stayed to keep an eye on him. The brunette knew the hardest part for his broken friend was going to bed at night without the love of his life. He had always had trouble sleeping on _tour_ without her, but _now,_ now he didn't even have the relieving thought that he would be back with her in a few weeks to ease his anxiety.

She was gone.

James shook his head with frustrated eyebrows as he thoughtfully descended the staircase into Dustin and Kendall's living room, becoming consumed with the haunting memory from a month ago, when he found his best guy friend in a heap on the driveway in the pouring rain, and his best girl friend was just gone, with no explanation.

_James jolted awake, nearly waking Leslie in his arms with the violent tremble of his body. He shook his head, a bit disoriented. He was an incredibly light sleeper, but he had no idea what had awaken him. He looked around his dim bedroom, hearing a crack of thunder in the distance and the rain harshly pelting his apartment window, eliciting a quiet groan from his throat, just knowing it was too early for him to suddenly be wide awake. He picked up his phone and read '5:56AM', only to drop it on his chest exasperatedly. _Way too early, _he thought. But not even a minute later, his phone pinged once, reminding him he had an unread message. He frowned in curiosity; it was way too early for anyone to actually be up. _

_ He quickly unlocked his phone, seeing the message was from Jade. Feeling urgency pinch at his gut, he opened it, nearly falling out of bed with the franticness of needing to help with whatever was going on. All the message from his best girl friend said was "Get to the house. ASAP."_

_ As the man scrambled to get dressed, calling out Leslie's name until she was up with him, he milled over the possibilities in his mind. He knew Jade. She wouldn't text him at nearly six o'clock in the morning if it wasn't some kind of dire emergency. He also knew it was urgent if she had texted him, knowing he was the only one that would easily wake up to the obnoxious but quiet ping of his phone. But why hadn't she called him?_

_ Without hesitation, James and Leslie ran out into the storm to James' car, and sped away, making the eleven minute drive in nine. James' breath hitched in his throat when he saw the bundle of Kendall in the middle of his driveway. "Where's Jade?" he murmured to himself, forgetting Leslie was even with him as he parked on the wrong side of the road and threw his door open, his body quickly following._

_ The sight was enough to break anybody's heart, James included. Once he was kneeling next to a soaking wet, convulsing Kendall, he could hear the ugly sobs erupting from deep within, and see that he was clutching a small object to his chest. "Oh no… no no…" James did what he could to control his breathing and slid his arms under Kendall's, hoisting his limp form off the ground. "Kendall, come on buddy, we gotta get you inside." The brunette hastily grabbed one of Kendall's arms and threw it over his shoulder, grabbing onto it and wrapping his free arm around his friend's torso._

_ James couldn't keep himself from shivering, and he didn't know if it was from the cold rain, or seeing the absolute mess his best friend was in. Only glancing back to see a terrified Leslie once, James pressed on towards the front door that was still ajar, nearly having to drag Kendall up the steps as the blonde kept sputtering "She l-left. G-g-gone," between chokes and gasps for breath._

_ Trying to get his head on straight, James frantically demanded Leslie to stay on the couch with Kendall, and the brunette took off to the nearest cupboard he knew was plentiful with blankets, rushing them all back and setting them on the ground before moving towards his depressed friend to strip him of his wet clothes._

_ Kendall remained unresponsive to James moving his limbs around, that is, until he tried to pry the velvet box from his hand. "Please," the blonde cried, shaking his head with a death grip on the little cube._

_ When James faltered, Leslie found the strength to step in. She gently moved her boyfriend aside and kneeled on the floor in front of Kendall. She took his empty hand first, tugging on his hoodie sleeve so it would slip back, struggling with the soaked material until she had it sliding down his occupied hand, stretching the wrist band of the jacket to pull around his fist. Next came his shirt, and after the couple had one good look at just how bad Kendall was shuddering, they had two blankets wrapped securely around him in no time._

_ Leslie took Kendall's face in her hands, gazing up into his painful expression. "Hey sweetheart," she murmured when he slowly met her eyes. "Tell me what happened." She nodded encouragingly, stroking his cheeks with shaky thumbs._

_ A few breaths passed through the broken man's lips before his few words did. "J-Jade left. London. M-Movie. Sh-She l-left." His eyes slid shut, and his pair of friends knew he was done talking as a violent tremor rolled through his body and silent tears streaked down his cheeks._

_ Without another word, Leslie stood on her knees and pulled Kendall's head towards her shoulder, holding him close and letting him cry helplessly into the crook of her neck as her own tears welled up in her eyes. Had her best friend of her whole life actually just left without a word? What kind of friend did that? James crawled close, resting one hand in Leslie's hair, and the other on Kendall's shoulder, and the three stayed like that, teary-eyed, solemn, and confused until Kendall's now-quiet sobs led him into an almost uncomfortably deep sleep only crying can bring about._

_ With the help of James, Leslie situated herself on the end of the couch, resting Kendall's head on her lap so she could comfortingly stroke his hair. "Les, I'm gonna go get him some more clothes. We've gotta get him out of those pants." _

_The girl only nodded, not even bothering to look up at her boyfriend as she reached in front of her for another blanket to toss across Kendall's torso. She sighed helplessly, tears pouring down her cheeks. "I can't believe you were going to propose to my best friend," she murmured sadly, glancing at the blonde's tightly clutched hand. "You really loved her a lot, huh? She loved you just as much. So I just don't understand why the hell she left you… and me." Leslie sobbed, quickly covering her mouth to try and muffle the sound. "And here we are, acting like she died. It kind of feels like it. Gone, so unexpectedly…"_

_James nearly broke down in the hallway when he heard his beloved talking like that, sounding as dismantled as Kendall. But he couldn't. He had to stay strong for all of them. He needed to go get Kendall dry clothes, he needed to call Momma Schmidt and Kent, Logan, Carlos, Dustin… he needed to figure out what the hell happened._

_When Kendall was changed without being awoken, when all calls were made, all James and Leslie could do was wait. They would sit there until their friend woke up, then proceed to bring him to his parents' house where Logan, Carlos, and Dustin would be waiting to see him and help in any way they could._

_Kendall had stayed fairly calm the hour drive to his parents' house, not crying but not saying a word either. He just watched the sights pass in blurs of colors from the passenger seat of James' Honda, convinced it was all a dream._

_James led his emotionless friend into the secluded house, feeling nearly as numb as Kendall looked. He aimed for the living room, figuring that would be where the group was. Mr. and Mrs. Schmidt were both sitting on a couch, and James could hear his friends mumbling in the kitchen a few feet away. He felt Kendall hesitate under his hand, and looked to see him and his parents staring at each other. The thick tears were back in his eyes by the time his mother stood up and opened her arms, to which Kendall accepted gratefully and clutched to her, hunched over and sobbing uncontrollably onto her shoulder. "I don't know what I did to make her leave," he cried._

_The guys in the kitchen cautiously made their way out, each briefly making eye contact with James before observing the mess in front of them._ _They painfully watched their best friend, on the verge of tears themselves, for one because they had no explanation for Mrs. Kathy's heartbroken confusion over Kendall's shoulder. Just like the rest of them, she didn't understand what made Jade leave._

Kendall rarely stopped thinking about that day. It was on his mind when he tried to go to sleep every night, every morning when he begrudgingly awoke, and it was on his mind now, as he entered the local bar near his house. _The bar that's only about two minutes away from Jade's old apartment. _The blonde was doing everything in his power to smile for his friends, to not drag his feet as he walked behind them, but there was a quitter in him now; he constantly wondered if he'd just be better off alone. _Really _alone. He could just quit Nickelodeon, quit his career completely, and spend his time being miserable, rotting away in his room because it's obviously what he deserved… at least that's what Kendall was certain of. He didn't want to have "fun," quitters didn't have fun. Quitters… _quit_.

The bar was rather empty tonight, and Kendall was incredibly thankful for that. He took a seat at the counter with his permanent frown settled at his lips, eyebrows furrowed with frustration as he fought off the haunting thoughts of Jade. How maybe if she were with him at the moment, she'd sit next to him, scooting as close as she possibly could to rest a soothing hand on his knee, or curl it around his arm. She'd lean against him and whisper his name until he gave in, gazing into her bright hazel eyes while her brown hair fell across her shoulders, begging Kendall to run his fingers through it, which he would as Jade's lips would curl into a grin, silently beckoning him for a simple, yet glorious kiss…

In the midst of the painful daydream, Kendall had mumbled an order for a beer, but nearly gasping for air at the memory of Jade's presence had him ordering something a bit heavier. The guys were watching him cautiously from the corners of their eyes, but he didn't care; they were the ones who'd insisted a few drinks would help him to forget his love, even if only for a couple of hours. Kendall was just going to pretend he thought they were right.

It was when the blonde had accepted one too many drinks, when the room was a dizzying blur, when he had random tears jumping down his face and his words didn't make complete sense, when he was heading out the door of the bar without waiting for his friends… that was when James and Logan knew bringing him out had been the worst idea they'd ever had.

The pair took off running full speed after Kendall into the cool April air, having stopped any of their own excessive liquor intake after seeing the declining rate Kendall had been going. In unison they looked left and right, eventually seeing the distraught blonde across the street, trailing his hand carelessly along fenceposts as he made his way down the sidewalk, stopping every now and then to catch himself from falling over. "Come on," Logan murmured, jogging across the empty road with James close behind.

But they both stopped dead in their tracks when Kendall started calling Jade's name. Logan anxiously clenched his fists and James gulped, not ready to experience another emotional breakdown like the one Kendall was about to exhibit. But Kendall only got louder, not caring in his drunken haze who heard him, probably not even remembering just who he was. "Jade!" Kendall cried out, walking a little faster along the concrete. "JADE!" he sobbed, having to pause now.

Logan moved first, running to catch up with the blonde and grabbing him by the shoulders. "Kendall, you need to calm the fuck down, okay?" Kendall just shook his head angrily. "Kendall…" Logan sighed. "M-Maybe you're better off now…"

Even drunk Kendall knew that wasn't true.

"I juss need ta talk ta her, Logie! Thas all." Kendall reached an unsteady hand up to touch Logan's face, and missed. "We'll be fine affer that! She'll come home when she sees how much I really l-love her! Yeah… I've juss gotta tell 'er…" Kendall glared around with squinted, tear-blurred eyes, searching for something that could possibly help him. And then he saw a payphone. "Ha! See that?" He nodded bigly once, before pushing past Logan to quickly make his way over to it.

"Kendall-" Logan started, but James stopped him.

"Let him do this."

"She's not gonna answer," Logan mumbled bitterly. He had tried many times to call the girl he thought was his best friend, just like everyone else. Except Kendall. Kendall hadn't tried once.

Until now.

"I know she's not," James snapped. "But he needs to do this. Maybe it'll help."

Logan only nodded, and they slowly followed Kendall to the payphone, where he was scrambling for change out of his pockets. But eventually, he got it all figured it out, and was dialing Jade's number miraculously without a problem.

The three waited in heavy silence as the phone connected and rang. Once, twice… five times. Logan was just about to tell Kendall to hang up when the blonde's whole posture and face changed. The moment he heard an overly-cautious _hello_ a smile broke out on his face the same time more tears flooded his eyes. "H-Hi baby," he mumbled. James and Logan froze. "P-Please come home. I'm still inlove with you I swear. 'S okay juss come home an I'll be the happiest pers'n I swear. I love you s-so much I need you to change yer mind—I'll be better-" The line wasn't dead but she wasn't speaking either. "Please answer me…" Kendall closed his eyes, knowing it was useless; she would sit there and listen to him, but she wasn't going to respond. She'd only answered because she didn't know who it was. "Jade…" he cried.

James had been frozen until this moment. He frantically grabbed at the phone in Kendall's hand, realizing he had slurred every single word from his mouth as he spoke to Jade for the first time since she left. "Jade?!" James almost yelled into the phone in anticipation.

He could hear shaky breaths and sniffling for a moment, and was close to trying to talk sense into this girl when he heard, "I'm so sorry," a light sob, and then the line was dead. She had hung up.

"Sh-She hung up…" James slowly placed the phone back in its holder, more confused than ever.

"Did she say anything?!" Logan didn't try to hide how desperate he was.

James hesitated, making a pointed look at him before glancing at Kendall and saying, "No. Nothing."

Logan widened his eyes, but before he could say anything Kendall was moving down the street again. "Kendall, what are you fuckin' doin' now?!"

"Ovvioussly she juss needs ta see me- ta see h-how bad I'm off! Thas it. We can- we can turn thiss allaround. She's juss gotta see me, 's all." Kendall stumbled down the road in the direction of Jade's old apartment, his mind completely gone now.

"And should we let him do this, too?" Logan asked skeptically.

James sighed. "Might as well. No one's living there anyways."

The pair stuck close to their friend, making sure he didn't fall, or run out into the street on a sudden suicide mission or something. They had never seen alcohol take this much of a toll on Kendall, to where he actually forgot something as massive as the fact that Jade doesn't even live in the United States anymore, let alone the little apartment she had moved out of _months_ ago to move in with him.

Logan couldn't stand to see his friend like this. He watched as the blonde clambered up the steps of the apartment complex, and thought how everyone was so sure Kendall was getting better with time, but Logan knew he was only getting worse. He was bottling everything up, not wanting to unload on anyone. In the beginning at least he cried and screamed and angrily threw things around; he was letting it out. But now things like this would happen; Kendall was going to start drinking and do drastic things, or he was going to start sleeping around again to get rid of his anxiety. Logan slightly shook his head, ridding himself of that thought. He didn't think Kendall would ever go back to that lifestyle. Logan had to admit it was hard to think about; when you land someone special enough, why _would_ you go back after experiencing it? Logan was starting to realize that now, now that he had been secretly dating Dianna since two weeks before Jade left. They hadn't planned to keep it from their friends for this long, but when Jade left, things changed, and they knew now wasn't the time.

James and Logan both sighed when Kendall began banging on the door that used to be Jade's, crying out her name like he had on the street moments before. They slowly ascended the stairs, knowing they needed to get him home before he woke up the whole building. "Let's go home, Kendall," James said, gently grabbing Kendall and pulling him away.

But then the door opened.

Kendall gasped, yanking himself from James' grasp, and ran back. "Jade?!" he questioned, squinting his eyes at the girl standing before him. He couldn't see very well, what with his world spinning and the ever-present tears in his eyes, but it _could've_ been Jade. The girl had the same color hair for sure, about the same height… "Jade?" he questioned again, frustrated when he felt like a blind man.

"Um, no…" the girl said awkwardly, tousling her hair behind her head; Kendall had obviously awaken her. "You must have the wrong door."

James and Logan stared oddly at the girl. She actually _did_ somewhat resemble Jade. Not in facial features, but hair, height, eye color… that was all the same. "I'm so sorry about this," James spoke up. "If we'd known someone moved in we wouldn't have even let him knock on the door. Sorry if he woke you up; we'll be going now!"

The girl smiled, her eyes moving from James and Logan to lock on Kendall, a gleam in them as she stared him down. "It's okay. I wasn't sleeping very well anyways." She bit her lip thoughtfully for a moment. "Well… have a good night. Keep safe." She awkwardly waved, and stepped back to quietly shut the door.

Kendall had seemed to sober up rather quickly after that little experience, leaning against the rail across from the door, crying yet again. "She's gone," he muttered to himself, the realization hitting him all over again. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, his whole body shuddering, then looked at his best friends. "I wanna go home. Can we go home?"

James swallowed hard, his own emotions almost too much to handle, but he nodded, walking forward and grabbing the blonde to support him. "Yeah, buddy. Let's go home."


	18. Wrong

**Hi! It's been SO long and I'm SO sorry! But first, I just want to make sure everyone knows that this IS new. After I posted the chapter of Jade leaving, which WAS Chap. 26, I went back and edited the whole story, filling it with more content, but condensing the chapters. I went from 26 to 16! So 17 and 18 are NEW.**

**I just wanted to clear that, because I only got about three reviews, and one of those was from my best friend, and none were from my regulars. So, I hope some of you are still with me, because I love you and you're all the best for even paying attention to this story!**

****I've been told that if you reviewed the ORIGINAL Chapter 18, you can't do this one. I wasn't aware that this site doesn't let you review a chapter twice, and now I'm pretty bummed about that. I also understand why 17 was kind of left hanging. The site also doesn't let anyone delete reviews, so really the only thing I can think is that if you're up to it, you can submit guest reviews, but that involves logging out and all that, and I don't expect y'all to go through the extra trouble. So I'll accept (or hope) that you guys are here in spirit! This story (with the updated chapters and all) probably won't make it to 26 again, so when it ends (or earlier, I won't complain!) feel free to PM me with your overall thoughts :)**

**Anyways, I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, but here it is. PLEASE review, and thank you so much for reading!**

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><p><strong>18 - Wrong<strong> – _"Waking up just brings me down, 'cause every morning you are nowhere to be found. And my bed is half-empty, not half-full… I'd rather live with broken bones, than lay here all on my own.." The Cab (Lovesick Fool)_

"If you don't back the fuck away from me Bryan, we're gonna have some serious problems." Jade pushed the Greek-God-like brunette away from her as he tried to latch onto her hips.

"Jade," he pleaded gently with her. "It's not my call and you know that." She just looked at the ground, clenching her fists. His British accent made him so convincing sometimes. "Jade, the longer we put off doing these publicity shots, the angrier they're going to be at us-"

"But I mean," she cut him off. "Do you realize how _wrong_ this all is? As bad as some Americans may be, paparazzi don't generally go as far as to peep through the windows during _sensual_ moments. Let alone do networks _stage _sensual moments! This is ridiculous!" She looked up at Bryan with tear-filled eyes. "I don't care if you're working for them, keeping tabs on me like everyone else, you can go back and tell them this: they've sent me to my personal hell on earth, Bryan. This just isn't right. None of this is right…" The familiar salty tears streamed down her cheeks.

The UK Nickelodeon network was intent on making her miserable, literally. She was force-fed lines for interviews, she was required to stay on set of "her" movie twelve hours a day, every day production was going, whether she was actually needed or not, and she was now "madly in love" with Bryan Trevena, the man they had shacked her in the mansion with, obviously planning all along to have the two become an item. At least that's what every online and tabloid magazine article in the United Kingdom was telling everyone, and she had been told that the news of her "newfound love" had, indeed, made its way into the American tabloids too.

The high-ups in the UK Nickelodeon industry had a special set of paparazzi hired specifically for Jade and Bryan. Bryan would receive an envelope of money accompanied with a note of instructions of exactly what kind of date to put together for himself and his "girlfriend." They'd go out on these very extravagant, but very public dates, then be fed things to do to one another. _Feed each other. Sit on his lap. Give her a good smooch. _

Having to do these things with another man _killed _Jade, even if she was being forced, and even if she wasn't with Kendall anymore. Her lips belonged to her green-eyed wonder, her body was meant for his arms, and no one else.

She missed Kendall more than anything in the world.

It had been four months since she'd had to leave the love of her life, and handling that hadn't gotten any easier. She still dreamt how he held her at night, how his lips felt pressed against her skin, how their fingers entwined perfectly… it was only getting _harder_ to move through each day. And she knew he knew about Bryan, but he didn't know the truth, and probably never would. And this next publicity stunt was only going to make everyone's thoughts of her worse than they probably already were.

Corporate actually wanted to set up a "shoot" in Bryan's room of the couple _taking the next step_. Jade didn't know if they expected her to actually have sex with him, but she _did _know that there was no way in _hell_ she was letting them force her that far into a fake relationship.

Breaking her out of her thoughts, Bryan cupped her face in his hands, wiping away her tears. "Hey…" He smiled softly. "Everything's going to be okay. You're going to make it through this; I know you are." He placed a chaste kiss to her forehead and pulled her into a comforting hug.

She gratefully wrapped her arms around his slim torso, thinking just like she did every time they hugged how similar his build was to Kendall's. She didn't know whether to hate it or love it. All she did know was that if she let herself get lost enough, with her eyes closed and just shutting her mind away from reality, it _sort of _felt like she was holding Kendall, and she would take what she could get.

Bryan placed gentle hands on Jade's shoulders, pushing her back until they were face to face. "I'm happy you're letting me in now, and not staying holed up in that closet all the time," he murmured, slowly, but very obviously moving in for her lips.

"Bryan," Jade sighed. "No. Just- no. I promise, you're a great looking guy but you're just not for me, okay? My heart is tak-"

"Jade, the cameras are already here," the brunette man whispered sadly.

Tears flooded her eyes again immediately. "We _have _to do this now?" He just nodded. "Do they expect us to actually have-…"

"…Yes." Bryan grimaced.

"Well we're not," Jade snapped, shaking her head. "There's no way in fucking hell they are forcing me into something like that."

"It's what the pictures require, Jade…"

Jade raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Did you really think I was just going to have sex with you for these fucking publicity shots? You were ready to get laid?" She scoffed, her tear-stained face weakening any menace she was presenting. "You better keep your dick to yourself and fucking fake everything or I _will _call rape on you."

"Jade-"

"No, listen Bryan. Maybe I haven't emphasized enough; this isn't me. I don't just go around having sex with people. That part of me belongs to _Kendall._ I don't love you, this isn't right." She was crying pathetically now, hands stiffly at her sides and clutching her shorts for some sense of purchase.

Bryan gently rested his hands on her arms, ducking his face slightly to get a better look into her face. "Jade, you're an actress. You have to get used to this kind of thing-"

She cut him off with a harsh, broken whisper. "I don't _want_ to be an actress anymore, Bryan."

After a quiet sigh, Bryan wiped his thumbs across her cheeks. "Shh. It's okay," he murmured before easing his way in to press his lips against hers.

Jade felt helpless.

She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the tears in her eyes to leak onto her face while she weakly kissed him back, her arms remaining at her sides. She just didn't know what to possibly do to stop this madness anymore. Then there was Bryan; he could be the sweetest person, always comforting her, but he obviously wasn't 100% on her side. He still pushed the producers' demands on her, constantly, just being gentler than Corporate.

When Bryan's careless hands sloppily slid onto her back and into her shirt while his tongue prodded at her bottom lip for entrance, Jade sighed, not in pleasure like it should've been, but in defeat. But the man groping at her took it as progress and went about hoisting her against him, she assumed so she could wrap her legs around him, but she wasn't biting. She managed to get herself dropped back to the floor and lightly urged him towards the bed, stopping there; that was as much initiation he was getting out of her willingly, but she knew the orders she had been given would have to play out soon.

He started kissing his way down to her neck while fiddling with the waistband of her sweatpants and she rolled her eyes, but tilted her head back and pretended to enjoy the feelings of his lips and the cold gust of air suddenly hitting her now pantsless legs because she wasn't eager to find out the consequences if she didn't play along to this part of the game.

She gulped when he pulled away to sit on the edge of the bed, staring up at her, eyes clouded with lust. _Great_, she thought, fighting off more tears. She could tell he was lost in the illusion. If she didn't remind him, he was going to try and take their feaux-relationship all the way. She blinked away the wetness in her eyes and shoved her feelings aside to bring the actress out in her.

Jade climbed onto Bryan's lap, straddling him and trying not to shudder in disgust when he decided to hold her close by her ass. She placed her hands on either side of his neck while her face hovered over his, trying with all her might to look seductive but knew she was failing miserably. "My underwear is not coming off," she murmured against his lips. "So don't. Fucking. Try."

She pressed her lips against his and heard him grumble in clear annoyance, but he removed his hands from her butt and took his shirt off instead, crashing his lips aggressively against hers before lifting her shirt off of her as well. Jade rested her hands on his shoulders, refusing to let them roam his body as she leaned more into the man she cared nothing about, trying not to puke from the feeling of him ravishing her mouth with his tongue. _He will never be Kendall. No one will ever be Kendall. _

"You're going to have to be a bit more convincing than this, love," Bryan mumbled as he kissed his way down her jaw and to her neck.

Jade huffed and shoved him down onto the bed. "Don't call me that," she warned, running her hands up his chest until their lips were lined up and meshed again.

She made him make the rest of the moves until they were under the covers and putting on an Oscar-worthy performance, and as soon as she heard talking outside the bedroom door, she roughly pushed Bryan off of her, jaw clenched and fighting off sobs. How had she ended up like this?

Getting up to frantically put her clothes back on, Jade had to take deep breaths to keep herself from losing it and breaking down right there. She made her way for the door but stopped when she caught a piece of what the familiar voice of her UK producer was saying. "..pictures and article to OceanUp, yes, and to Seventeen. Seventeen might not even take them, but OceanUp will… yes. Yes. Make them viral as soon as I get them to you."

Jade busted through the door and ran straight for her room, tears flooding her eyes and sobs building more in her chest the closer she got. No matter how long she spent apart from Kendall, no matter their relationship status, given the circumstances, it would always feel like she was cheating on him. She locked the bedroom door, and then threw herself in her pathetic closet-room, face down onto her mattress as she let go and lost it. She felt Daisy nuzzle and rest comfortingly against her feet at the same time she heard her MP3 player shift to the next song and play _California King Bed _by Rihanna, which at first brought more tears to her eyes at the memory, but quickly calmed her down when the lyrics started.

_After eating their early dinner and discussing their plans to fly to Texas so Kendall could meet her family, Kendall had only lasted a couple of hours before he crashed, sleeping through the night and waking up the next morning to Jade's smiling face. The first thing he said was, "Let's stay in bed all day, mmkay? I've missed you way too much," and then he beckoned her for a gentle good morning kiss, to which she could do nothing but agree and snuggle into him more._

_The couple were having a random discussion about music they had recently gotten into, surprisingly both having new musical interests after being apart for just a few weeks. "I love Rihanna," Kendall exclaimed casually after he had played her a song from a UK artist he'd picked up on in Germany._

_Jade looked at him stupidly. "Wow Kendall, that's brand new information." Her voice dripped with sarcasm and she shook her head. _

"_She's hot." Kendall wiggled his eyebrows, resting a hand on Jade's waist as if he was scared she was going to take his joke seriously and jerk away from him. Jade just raised her eyebrows, glaring at him. "Not as hot as my girlfriend though." He smirked as he leaned forward to kiss her. "My beautiful." Their lips met again. "Incredible." Again. "Sweet." And again. "Girlfriend." He lightly nipped at her bottom lip and hummed in contentment._

"_Hmm, good save I guess, but I'm still not fond of Rihanna." Jade rolled her eyes playfully when Kendall scoffed._

"_There's at least this one song I think you'd like. Or at least, maybe I can make you like it…"_

"_Make me?" she asked incredulously._

"_Mmmm yep…" Kendall smiled softly, scooting closer to her until their bodies were nearly pressed together. He gazed at her lovingly before he started softly singing to her. "'_Chest to chest, nose to nose_…'" He found her hand blindly and spread it until their palms were flat against one another. "'_Palm to palm…'"_ He smiled when she laced their fingers. "'_We were always just that close. Wrist to wrist, toe to toe… lips that… felt just like…_'" He brushed his lips longingly against Jade's, pausing his singing to kiss her, then continuing. "'.._the inside of a rose_…'" He gently planted his lips against her top one. "Now I'll skip over the sad, untrue-for-us parts." They both laughed, still no space between their faces. "'_I've been California wishin' on these stars, for your heart, for me… my California queen…'"

"_You're right…" Jade whispered, biting her lip as Kendall nuzzled his nose next to hers. "I think I do like that song."_

_Kendall chuckled. "Told ya." He smirked before crashing his lips against hers, full of an innocent passion._

Jade could almost feel the way he had so gently pushed her onto her back, not releasing that one hand that he had taken a hold of while he was singing to her, but pinned it next to her head instead. She had melted under his body, welcoming his tongue into her mouth and grasping at his back almost desperately. But then the world had seemed to slow down when they jerked away from each other, needing a breath, only for Jade to reach for his face and lead him back to her lips again. The feeling of needing to make up for lost time devouring anything else.

But then Jade realized she had actually lifted her hand, reaching for the face that had always calmed her nerves, but it only met air and then the blankets surrounding her. Nothing. She had nothing.

She was just there, sniffling on her mattress while her dog crawled up towards her face, whining softly. Jade opened her eyes, her frown deepening as she rubbed Daisy's head. "What is it, baby girl?" she cooed, blinking away her last tears as the Rihanna song faded out.

But the dog kept whining. Daisy squirmed from under her owner's hand and crawled to the space of wall directly in front of Jade, resting her small head on her paws as she stared at the picture stuck to the wall. The sight nearly shattered Jade's heart more than it already was. It was a picture of Jade and Kendall. Daisy missed Kendall.

As Jade's eyes flooded again, she ran a shaky hand across her puppy's fur. "I miss him, too." Just as the words left her mouth, she heard her phone buzzing behind her and had to take a deep breath, preparing herself. It was about that time.

She reached behind her and grabbed the device, painfully biting down on her bottom lip as she watched the name "Kendall Schmidt" flash across the screen accompanied by her favorite picture of him grinning ear to ear with his eyes squeezed shut while he nuzzled his face into his pillow. Jade nibbled on her lip, not caring if she drew blood as her whole body tensed, fighting the urge, like every other time, to just answer the call.

Jade had dealt with her old friends calling her nonstop throughout the first month, keeping her phone on silent a majority of the time, but then, after just a few days of silence from her friends is when Kendall drunk-called her from a payphone. Jade cried for hours after listening to him drunkenly ramble about how much he loved her and would just forgive her if she came home to him. It killed her to hear him. It even killed her to hear James' voice. And after that is when the regular calls from Kendall started. The first few days were miserable for the both of them, Kendall making himself suffer with the false hope his love would answer, calling her nearly every hour, while Jade remained in the fetal position with Daisy throughout most of it.

But now his calls had died down. After those first few miserable days, it became sort of a once a week occurrence. Jade wanted more than anything to just answer, at least once, and let him know that she still loved him, she always would, and that she was so sorry she had to put him through this. She wanted to tell him that none of the photos were real, that her life was like one big acting job now, where outings were designed and interviews were scripted.

But she couldn't. She was forced to let him believe that this was what she wanted, that she didn't care about her favorite blonde boy anymore. Her phone was tracked and her calls and texts were traced. Constantly. Corporate had let her slide with the payphone call because it could've been anyone, but now she wasn't allowed to answer any American calls unless it was strictly business.

Her only hope in America was Scott, her former producer, but unfortunately for Jade, Scott had not yet had a business-like reason to contact her, and the girl's hope was slowly fading. On that last day in America, on the way to the airport, Scott had made important promises, but Jade had a feeling he wouldn't be able to keep them.

"_Jade, Jade, listen to me! This is the only time we are going to have to talk without someone watching us. You have to stop crying." Scott pleaded with Jade while she cried her eyes out after sending a text James' way to aid Kendall._

"_Y-Y-You let this happen, Sc-Scott," Jade sobbed._

"_I didn't have a choice, Jade, you have to listen to me." Scott rested a hand soothingly on her back, keeping one hand on the wheel. "I'm going to get you out of this as soon as possible, okay? But look, the only way I can do that successfully is if I keep Kendall and the guys out of it. They still can't know. And you can't try to sneak calls to them. As soon as you get overseas, they're going to take your things, and register your phone into their fancy systems so that they can keep track of every call or text you make, keep track of where you are, and possibly even record your phone calls."_

"_W-Why are th-th-they doing this?"_

"_Being so fucking extreme? I don't know, sweetheart, I really don't know, but I'm going to get you out of there, and back here with us when I can okay. We're going to bring down Stacey Carter, and you can be with Kendall."_

Jade heard a knock at the bedroom door, and ignored it as usual. But then the person knocked again, and again. "Go away," Jade finally yelled.

"It's juss me!" a girl's voice shouted back.

Jade sighed. It was Becca. Becca was Bryan's cousin, and the only person Jade talked to, even though she still wasn't sure whether she could trust her or not. The girl _did _work for Corporate and all, but there was something different about her. She seemed to only work with the business because the rest of her family did, and she didn't force Jade into things, or try to convince her those things were right. She was the closest thing to a friend Jade had had in four months.

She begrudgingly got up to let the short, curly-haired brunette in, who bounced past her and into the closet as Jade re-locked the bedroom door. Becca was the only person who just accepted that Jade chose to live in a closet with no questions. She knew, from Bryan, the clean, simple version of Jade's backstory and essentially why she was there, so she seemed to understand.

When Jade walked back into the closet, carefully sitting back next to a still-whimpering Daisy, Becca had settled on the floor next to the mattress, watching Jade intently with a sad smile. "You've been crying."

"Yeah, well. What's new, really?" Jade laughed humorlessly, picking up her dog and cradling her to her chest, wishing she would stop crying, and hoping more than anything this didn't become an every day occurrence.

Becca sighed. "You need to talk to me. Get things off your chest. It'll help, I bet." Jade just shrugged in response. Becca didn't give up though. "It's time, love."

"Time for what?"

"It's time you tell me about Kendall."

* * *

><p>Kendall let out a slow, controlled but angry breath. "She's a fucking stranger. I don't fucking know this girl."<p>

"Stop torturing yourself with that shit, Kendall."

Dustin walked past, down the stairs and into the living room, plopping down with his laptop. He felt like a hypocrite telling his best friend to stop looking at the pictures and articles, since that's exactly what Dustin was about to do. Maybe it didn't hurt in the same way it hurt Kendall, but seeing the articles about their old friend over in England was ridiculously unpleasant for the rest of the guys too. But they all looked at them. They were all hypocrites. When the five men were together and got wind of a new article, one would be tempted to look, but the others would all discourage it. Then once they were alone, they'd go on a frantic search for it, only to be unpleasantly surprised yet again. They would never get used to the shock.

But the more Kendall glared at this one, of his ex-girlfriend straddling some asshole he didn't know, his expression started to soften and he couldn't help but wonder about it. Maybe Jade was a different person now, so maybe Kendall didn't really know anything, but why wasn't she _smiling_? The caption explained her expression as "intense" and "being so into the moment" but really, she looked _pissed off. _Any time she and Kendall had fooled around, she was like a big bundle of joy. Her eyes would gaze into his with this overwhelming happiness before she planted one kiss to his lips, continuing on to graze her smiling lips up and down his jaw, just waiting for him to start kissing her in all of her favorite places…

Kendall shook his head, ridding himself of the memory. He couldn't let himself get too lost, even though he could already feel himself slipping; this picture was having a much worse effect on him than the other "innocent date" pictures had. In those, he had to see her kissing another man, going on extravagant dates, but this, this was her being _intimate_ with another man, after only four months, when it had taken over six months for her to be that way with Kendall.

The blonde slammed his laptop shut and tossed it across the bed, running trembling fingers through his hair. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, trying with his all to push the intense waves of anxiety away, to keep them from washing over him. But he couldn't get the image of the girl he loved so much on top of another guy out of his head. He was doubled over with tears in his eyes before he forced himself to get up and go to his bathroom next door to shove his stupid anxiety pills down his throat. After the scene Kendall had caused on the streets and at Jade's old apartment complex three months before, James had gone and talked to the blonde's parents about it and the three of them had Kendall back on his old anxiety medicine in a week. He hated it, but it sure as hell was better than having those too-familiar knots in his stomach. The medicine didn't take the pain away, but it relaxed him just enough to keep from spontaneously bursting into tears.

After that, Kendall laid around for hours until he couldn't take being cooped up in the room that held too many memories for him anymore. He didn't feel like being social, but he had rested his head on Jade's pillow, tracing his finger over an eyeliner stain and trying to draw up her scent from the little that was left, for much too long. The more time went on, the more Kendall felt pathetic because of the state he was in, but it didn't make him miss Jade any less. Something was so off about the way she had left him, he could see that now, and it bothered him more than anything. Though he would never admit it, there was still a tiny bit of hope deep inside him that there was more to this than meets the eye, that Jade would come back eventually, with more explanation than what she had given him. _"I'm so sorry. I have to go."_

Kendall shook his hair from his forehead and grabbed his phone, immediately dialing James up. "Hey. James. Wanna go to Whole Foods with me?"

The brunette chuckled into the mouthpiece of his phone. "What are we, girls?"

"Har har," Kendall mumbled sarcastically. "James."

"Alright, alright. I'm like five minutes away. I'll be there in four."

Kendall laughed shortly and hung up. James had been the best friend he could've ever asked for the past few months. He'd always considered himself closer to Logan and Carlos, besides that little month he and Carlos didn't speak, but now he and Logan were farther apart than ever, and Carlos just kind of aided James in the responsibilities he had taken upon himself. And then Dustin… Kendall had been best friends with Dustin for fourteen years, and lived with him for more than two, but he felt so disconnected from him. They didn't talk like they used to, and Kendall knew that was probably his fault but still. And Kendall constantly felt like Dustin was hiding something from him. He didn't know what, but the gut feeling was there.

As soon as the message from James popped up saying, _I'm too lazy to get out. Get your ass out here, _Kendall shook his head and walked downstairs. "I'm going to the store, see ya later-" Kendall paused, his tone turning monotonous almost instantly, curiosity the only emotion perking his voice up. "How long have you been here?"

Leslie shrugged uneasily, and Kendall noticed her try to discreetly scoot away from Dustin. "I guess about an hour…" The girl shrugged again.

"Well. Uh. Good seeing you. Bye." Kendall rushed out the door, trying not to be too curious as to why Leslie and Dustin had been spending so much time together. And also trying not to focus on how his friendship with Leslie had quickly fallen apart after the initial shock of Jade's leaving wore off. There was that subconscious blame and ill feelings towards one another that tore them apart. For Kendall, it was just hard being around Leslie without constantly being reminded of Jade, and constantly becoming anxious or even angry; Leslie was there, but Jade wasn't. For Leslie, even though she knew it wasn't true, there was a part of her that blamed Kendall, because essentially, if Kendall and Jade had never gotten together, Leslie would still have her best friend.

Kendall had a hand tangled anxiously in his hair by the time he was opening the passenger side of James' car and sliding in. Before he even had a chance to say anything, James cut in softly. "Leslie's here? I just noticed her car…"

Kendall nodded. "Yeah, you didn't know?" James shook his head slowly, his expression falling as he looked at his hands resting stiffly around the steering wheel. "Is everything alright, man?"

James shrugged, biting his lower lip. "Things have been kinda rocky, I guess. With Les."

The blonde rested a shaky hand on his friend's shoulder. "Why haven't you said anything?"

"I don't know. I guess because talking about it makes it more real."

"You're preaching to the choir, man," Kendall laughed uneasily and pat his friend's back. "When you wanna talk, I'm all ears."

"Thanks, Kendall.." James nodded once, giving the man a grateful smile before putting the car in reverse and heading them in the direction of the grocery store.

* * *

><p>"James." Kendall suddenly had a death grip on the brunette's muscular arm.<p>

"Ow Kendall, what, what?" James ripped his arm from the blonde's grasp, but just as quickly grabbed his wrist when he saw the look in Kendall's eyes. "Kendall, what's wrong?"

Kendall had frozen, his eyes widened and anger flaring in them like James had never seen before. His fists clenched and James looked around frantically, only seeing a tall-ish, blonde guy wearing a baseball cap standing at the end of the aisle.

But that's exactly who Kendall had zoned in on.

"Kendall, what the hell man, what's wrong?"

"That's him." Kendall was absolutely seething.

James sighed in frustration. "Who?"

There was too long of a moment's pause before Kendall breathed out, "Chad."

"Ch-Chad? As in…" James was almost scared to say her name. "Jade's…-"

Kendall snapped his head to look at James. "He was _not _Jade's."

James immediately began to panic. He yanked Kendall in the opposite direction and steered him towards a different area of the store, having to use extra force against Kendall's resistance. "Kendall, you can't do anything stupid, okay? Do you hear me?" James groaned when Kendall didn't answer him, still trying to weave his way out of James' hold. "Goddammit Kendall, I swear it is not fucking worth it to beat the shit out of him."

Suddenly, Kendall broke free but only whipped around to face James. "But it's _all his fault, _James!" James could just see the tears forming in his friend's eyes, and his heart broke. It _did _all start with Chad. Maybe Chad didn't make Jade leave, but he was the beginning of the domino effect. "He ruined Jade's life, and now he's ruined mine. And now he's in my _city_, my _state_? He needs to get the fuck out! Like right now!"

"Kendall you sound like a fourteen year old gir-" Quickly, James realized that was not the direction he needed to take that conversation. "J-Just calm down, and let's go home."

Kendall shook his head frantically, his mind not in a proper place anymore. "I can't just calm down with that fucking scumbag right across the fucking store!"

"Well that's what you're going to do." James got a firm grip on one of Kendall's shoulders and started walking him to the front of the store. "Trust me, buddy, as much as I'd love to watch you beat the dick's face in, you just can't."

Kendall huffed and puffed until they were out the door and halfway to the car, until Kendall and James both froze at a voice sounding behind them. "Well look who it is."

With a quick maneuver, Kendall was out from under James' hand and facing his least favorite person in the world. "What the fuck are you doing in my city, asswad?"

"Wow, ha! I'm sorry. Didn't realize I had stepped foot in Patheticville, population Kendall!" Chad sneered, taking a step towards his rival. "How's Jade? Oh wait! She's spreading her legs for the first Brit that'll accept her, right. My bad-"

Before Kendall could think it through, his fist was colliding with Chad's eye with as much force as he could muster. The next hit was delivered from Chad, to Kendall's mouth, but it was the only one he got in. Soon Kendall had him tackled to the ground and was delivering hit after violent hit, growling "It's all. Your. _Fucking_. Fault!" until people started yelling and James was dragging Kendall to the car, throwing him inside and slamming the door.

He turned around to see Chad getting up, angrily wiping blood from his mouth, and James just couldn't stop himself from stiffly walking over to him, glaring at him for a moment, and then sending one last punch to the jerk's nose, knocking him backward. "You're a _piece of shit_," James seethed, spitting on the ground next to Chad's head and running back to his car.

When he climbed in, Kendall had his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees as his shoulders trembled. James gulped, almost missing Kendall whisper, "I don't think the medicine helps anymore."

Trying to control the shudder in his voice, James said, "I-It's okay, buddy. I went back and punched him, too, and I'm not on meds so…"

Kendall turned his head to look at his friend, and James saw the blood trickling down his chin, and the tears down his cheeks. "Thanks, I guess."

James shrugged. "We both know he deserved it. But we're probably both going to be in a shithole. He'll probably send the cops after us."

The blonde sighed, going back to the position he'd been in. "Whatever. Jail would be better than going back to filming next week."

James didn't have a response to that.

* * *

><p>Kendall was slow to get out of James' car when they got back to the house, not in the mood for facing Dustin and having to explain what happened, if he even cared. James was already to the door, and Kendall rounding the car when a girl's voice called out to him. "Hey! Drunk guy, right?" She smirked, approaching him, and he just stared at her oddly for a moment before reacting in any way. She was really attractive, and kind of familiar-looking.<p>

It didn't take Kendall long to realize it was the girl that currently lived in Jade's old apartment, whom he'd woken up in the middle of the night in a drunken haze. He glanced at James who was watching carefully before awkwardly muttering, "Uh, hi?" He looked around a second. "What brings you down here?"

The girl shrugged, and Kendall watched the way her hair fell from her shoulder, the exact same color as Jade's. Her eyes too. Her eyes were hazel. He felt a pain in his chest. "I was just taking a walk. Didn't know you lived so close by!"

Kendall looked over at James again, and the brunette almost looked like he didn't believe her. Kendall slightly shook his head in confusion. "Oh, well, yeah. I do. I'm Kendall." He forced a smile and held out his hand for her.

She took a sly step forward, smiling flirtatiously up at him as she took his hand in hers. "Nice to finally have a name for that handsome face," she murmured, biting her lip. "I'm Lauren."

Kendall nodded, seemingly unphased by her actions and simply shook her hand. "Nice to meet you. Officially."

"You get into a fight, Kendall?" The girl Kendall didn't even know reached up to touch his cut lip, and his instincts were screaming at him to get away from her.

"What? Oh, uh, yeah, sorta. I guess. Uh. You should see the other guy." He laughed uneasily, glancing down at his knuckles which were nice and swollen, bruised, and cut up.

"How about you let me fix that up for you?" The girl suggested softly, but somehow every word that spilled from her mouth sounded sly, sneaky, rather than sweet like it should've been.

"Oh, that's okay." Kendall shook his head. "I'm just gonna go clean the blood off and go to sleep."

"No, I insist. I'm First Aid certified, anyways," the brunette girl rested a hand on Kendall's arm and he forced himself not to shy away from her out of fear of being rude. "I'll get it cleaned up in no time."

"I, uh-"

"I promise I don't bite." And then she winked as if to say _unless you want me to._

Kendall bit his lip before remembering the cut and he tasted blood again. "Shit," he mumbled, wiping his mouth. "Uh, well, I guess, if you i-insist…"

Lauren smiled, keeping a hold on his arm and motioning with her head. "Lead the way."

"Kendall man, do you uh, want me to stay here?" James asked uncertainly, confused as to what the hell was going on.

Kendall looked at his friend, uncertain himself, and just said, "Um, I guess, I guess not… thanks for everything."

James nodded once, watching Lauren carefully from the corner of his eye. "I'm James by the way." He only glanced at her before turning back to Kendall. "Call me if you need anything."

Kendall gave him a small, grateful smile and moved aside to let him go down the steps and to his car, then moved for the front door, Lauren still attached to his arm, and let them both inside.

He didn't know why he took her upstairs instead of to the kitchen, or downstairs bathroom, but Kendall didn't know why he did anything anymore. Soon, he was sitting on the edge of his bed, and Lauren was bending over, cleaning his lip with a cotton swab, flaunting her breasts a little too close to his face. His breaths became shallower as he trained his eyes on them and just how good they looked in her shirt. But before he realized it, he wasn't even fantasizing about Lauren, he was fantasizing about Jade.

He felt the familiar tightness in his jeans but at this point didn't even care. He was inches away from being completely lost in his mind when he felt his pants being unzipped and unbuttoned. He jumped in surprise, but was too slow to stop her before she undid his boxers too, allowing him to spring free with a little relief. "You're just _way_ too tense…" Lauren murmured seductively.

Kendall could've punched himself in the face for not stopping this girl he knew nothing about from getting on her knees and pleasuring him in a way that was once only reserved for Jade. He wished he could've stopped himself from later undressing the both of them. He knew how wrong it was. He never meant to sleep with her.

But he had to make the pain go away.


	19. Give Me Love

**Okay, so I suck pretty bad, I know. I thought for sure once first semester was finished that I'd have oodles of time to work on this, but then I got a job. Then my cousin got married, then the holidays. I figured after the holidays, that was my time, but unfortunately, life took a turn for the worse when my grandmother had a stroke on New Years Eve. Life has been hell since. But the past few days, I've been really motivated for this story again, and I actually got it done. So here it is!**

**Also, it was brought to my attention last time I updated (you know, years ago haha), that my brilliant idea of editing and condensing the story somewhat backfired. Apparently if you reviewed the original Chapters 17-19, you cannot review the new one. So for 19, this only applies to BigTimeFan50, Dana2184, and . If you three still follow this story, and would so kindly like to give me feedback, you can either leave an anonymous review, or just PM me.**

**As for everyone else, I know I've left you hanging for MONTHS, but your feedback, good or bad, really means the world to me! So please :)**

**(P.S. This is the first chapter that the title is not in the content. I used the song instead. Fun fact of the day.)**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

><p><strong>19 – Give Me Love<strong>

"_Give me love like her, 'cause lately I've been wakin' up alone. Paint splattered tear drops on my shirt. Told you I'd let them go… and that I'll fight my corner; maybe tonight I'll call ya, after my blood turns into alcohol. I just wanna hold ya." – Ed Sheeran (Give Me Love)_

Nimble fingers found their places along the correct frets as the blonde holding his prized guitar took a deep breath and blinked away the pool of redundant tears so his voice could flow out angelically as it had so many times before.

"_Baby, I sorely miss the vibrant gleam that's in your eyes… I'll write a song about it. And maybe if the melody's just right… I hope tonight it will find you; it will remind you… what's holding me back is the thought of time we never had. My world's hanging by three words that I can't bear to say.._

_When you hear this chorus, do you miss the way the world was spinning for us? Do you hurt the way that I do? After all this time you leave me broken. This song is every word I left unspoken. When you hear this, girl, I'm hoping that you think of us… that you think of us._

Kendall had to take a deep breath as he looked down, and then gulped. As many times as he had practiced this, and thought he had it down without getting too emotional, he couldn't stop the tightening in his throat, the knots in his stomach, the tears in his eyes…

_Baby, I told myself that I'll be fine but it's a lie. I don't want to talk about it. Memories, oh they cut like knives… Deep inside I'm falling; baby, catch me if you can. What's holding me back is the thought of time we never had. My world's hanging by three words that I can't bear to say.._

_When you hear this chorus, do you miss the way the world was spinning for us? Do you hurt the way that I do? After all this time you leave me broken. This song is every word I left unspoken. When you hear this, girl, I'm hoping that you think of us…_

_Baby… I sorely miss the vibrant gleam that's in your eyes…"_

This Mayday Parade song had been Kendall's anthem for seven months now, and it was more than evident in his face how much it meant to him as he reached forward to stop video recording himself. With hooded eyes and a solemn expression, he immediately began uploading it to the web, not even caring to watch it beforehand.

This was his last plea.

He was reaching out to Jade one more time.

At least, that's what he kept telling himself. He had finally stopped calling her about a month ago. He always called, never texted. Then his life had had to start back up again, which meant interviews with websites, TV shows, and magazines. When he wasn't desperately calling his ex-beloved, he was discreetly pleading with her on public television. He couldn't be completely outright about it anyways, because of course, Kendall Schmidt couldn't claim his undying love when he's taken by another woman.

Woman really wasn't a good term for Lauren. Selfish. Snake. Vapid. Shallow. Kendall could go on and on, but no matter how much she got on his last nerve, in some ways, she kept the pain away, and that's what he needed. Alcohol made it worse, music made it worse, his career made it one hundred times worse, and his anxiety medicine only really helped cure small attacks. All he had left was meaningless sex. So meaningless he didn't even _think _about Lauren while it was happening.

Just Jade.

But as far as everyone else was concerned, he was perfectly happy with this wench. He'd gotten good at hiding how much he was hurting, and Lauren was his best shield. Maybe people weren't too convinced she was so good for him, but no one bothered him about it, so it worked out.

He just didn't bring her around a lot, especially around his parents. He felt sick to his stomach every time they were around his parents together. He could tell they didn't like her, and he felt like the biggest liar in the world for even introducing her to them as his girlfriend. It was like bringing one of his one night stands from before Jade home to meet his parents. And he never did that. For good reason.

Lauren didn't help herself being so touchy-feely, all over Kendall all the time. It was disgusting, Kendall felt disgusting having her hands all over him with his mom and dad and brothers right there, watching.

Of course it had been five thousand times worse when Kendall had met Lauren's parents.

They had dinner with her parents only a week and a half after Kendall and Lauren hooked up for the first time, and while Kendall didn't truly care for her, he wanted to make a good impression. But it turned out it didn't matter, because when they sat down for dinner, both of her parents were high, and completely plastered on Vodka. They weren't halfway through the meal when Lauren tugged on his hand she was holding under the table and slipped it into her pants, putting his fingers right where she wanted them. He dropped his fork in shock as she controlled his fingers, doing what she wanted. She didn't even try to hide her immense pleasure from her trashed parents, not that it mattered. She just moaned and looked to the side at Kendall. "I just couldn't wait any longer baby." She let out a long, drawn-out sigh. "And don't ya just love the rush of doing something so naughty in front of the adults." She winked before tossing her head back and relishing in the feeling coursing through her. "Oh _shit_ Kendall!"

That's when he realized she wasn't controlling his fingers anymore; he was. And maybe it was the secondhand effect of the marijuana Lauren's mother was currently smoking, maybe it was because her father had passed out on his plate of food, or maybe it was because Kendall was so far gone he didn't even recognize himself anymore, but either way, it wasn't long before Lauren had reached her peak and was scrambling to undo Kendall's pants and straddle him right there at the table. And he didn't stop her.

He had never felt more disgusting in his life after that.

Then after a few weeks, people had caught on and he'd had to deal with all of the tabloids blowing up about him "finally moving on" since Jade so obviously had so long before. And then came the big spectacle, or scandal, or whatever everyone wanted to call it. All Kendall knew was that it was one of the worst days of his life, especially since he'd just internalized all his feelings and didn't talk to anyone until it all cleared up.

Just a few days after word got out about him dating Lauren, _another_ word got out.

Engagement.

But not Kendall and Lauren. No.

Jade and Bryan.

Kendall was alone, luckily, when he read the article, and he nearly threw up, clutching the ring no one knew he still carried around in his pocket. They couldn't be _engaged. _If anyone should've been _engaged, _it should've been Jade and _Kendall, _not Jade and _Bryan_!

And that's when his tears had come. He had managed not to cry for a while—about a month, back when he beat the crap out of Chad—but here the tears were, flowing down his cheeks with a vengeance.

God, he felt like such a _girl_, crying nonstop over a break-up. But even he knew that "break-up" was an understatement. And he still couldn't help but feel that it wouldn't be as bad if a small part of him didn't still think she never wanted to leave him. That someone made her.

Kendall shook himself of the memories. It turned out a couple of days after that dreaded article that it had just been a rumor.

He had never been more relieved.

Pretending to be happy… it was easier for him now, but it was only getting harder all the same. He hated lying to everyone. He hated lying to himself. He even hated lying to Lauren. As the days passed he could feel himself slipping into a depression. He was guilt-ridden, even though he knew he shouldn't be. But if he was seeing the articles about Jade, surely she was seeing the articles about him. He couldn't stop the lurch his heart and stomach did every time a new article about himself popped up, for a second horrified because he knew Jade would see it. But then he'd had to remind himself.

She left him.

Kendall jerked out of his trance-like state and set his guitar aside as he looked to see if the video had uploaded to the web yet. It had. Which meant it had linked to all of his social networking sites. Which meant he was probably getting floods of messages; fans feeling sorry for him, friends scolding him for being so straightforward. He sighed. It really was a perfect song for him.

The blonde shook his head and stood up. He needed a breather. From this moment, this room… he needed a little guy time or something. So he looked to Dustin. They'd barely spoken to each other lately, but maybe now was the time to rekindle their long friendship.

He trotted down the hallway, humming to himself to distract his mind, and without thinking, he just waltzed on in to his best friend's room, like he always would before.

Only this time it caused disaster number two.

"Wow." The anger filled Kendall almost as quickly as it had the day he ran into Chad. "That's fucking great, Dustin." His voice was stiff and thick with emotion. "And _you._" He pointed at the naked blonde in Dustin's bed. "When were you planning on telling James that you're fucking one of his best friends behind his back?" Leslie cowered under the sheets, and Kendall could see her eyes glistening with fresh tears. She tried to speak but Kendall shook his head. "So how long have y'all been fucking? Huh? Did it start before or after Jade left, Leslie? I'm sure that's your excuse. You've 'been so depressed about Jade, you're just not in your right mind.' That's fucking bullshit." He tried not to think about how that was _his _excuse. "James has needed you. He's noticed how much you haven't been around, Leslie, but you know what? Not once did he accuse you of cheating. Never crossed his mind. But look at you!"

"Kendall calm down-" Dustin started to get up but Kendall taking giant angry steps toward him froze him in place.

"_Don't _tell me to calm down. How could _either one of you _do this to James? I mean, _fuck._ Do I even know _anyone_ around here anymore? First Jade just deserts me with no real explanation, and now you two are some backstabbing bitches. _Fuck." _Kendall was losing his mind. He whipped around, pulling on his hair and heading for the door. "I have to tell James." He heard Leslie and Dustin both shouting "_No!_" behind him, he felt Dustin tugging on his arm, but he just yanked it away and kept on walking down the stairs. There was no hesitation in his mind. James had to know.

"Kendall stop!" Dustin shouted, right behind the blonde. "It's not your place to tell him!" And then he was knocked right to the ground when Kendall swung around and punched him in the jaw.

"It _is _my place to tell him, because _I'm _his _best friend._ If either one of you cared at all, you would've already told him, Leslie would've already broken up with him. He has a right to know!" Kendall shook his head frantically, on the verge of hyperventilating; his anxiety soaring. There was a part of him that felt like he was overreacting, but he couldn't stop his flood of anger. "What would make you do something like this? I don't even know who you fuckin' are anymore! We're supposed to be best friends!"

Dustin laughed sarcastically. "Best friends? That's rich man. We've barely spoken in seven months and we _live together._ And before that you spent ninety percent of your time with Jade, so. It should be _me _saying I don't know _you _anymore!"

It was like Kendall didn't hear his words. "Would you have tried this with Jade? Was it just a matter of time?"

"Goddammit Kendall! No one else's world revolves around Jade! It's been _seven months_, and it's still all about her! Hell, even before it was; you only hung out with me or us when she made you! And now, you know, at first… I was right there with you. I lost someone who was like a sister to me, and my best friend was going through the hardest thing he'd probably ever have to go through. But everything you do is because of her. You give everyone involved in your career hell, because acting reminds you of Jade, BTR hasn't toured in close to a year, because of Jade, you won't take Lauren out on big dates because you don't want Jade to see it online, actually, you're only fucking Lauren so you're not alone, and to make it look like you've moved on, but for an actor Kendall, you're not a very good liar!" Dustin wasted no time with breath, dragging out his next words. "Move _on,_ she _left _you! She's obviously a shitty person so just fucking forget her already!"

Kendall's searing glare cut through Dustin until neither of the old friends could fathom looking at one another any longer. Kendall didn't care what she had done to him, there was something in him that was ready to beat Dustin to a pulp for talking about Jade like that, but he just turned his back on him instead. "If James doesn't know by morning, I'm telling him." His voice was rigid, cold. "And I'm moving out."

The blonde was out the door before Dustin could open his mouth.

* * *

><p>Words were brewing in her throat, threatening to spill over the brim of her lips. Jade was sitting a couple of feet away from Bryan on the couch in their living room and had her eyes focused on the side of her "feaux-beau's" head intently, watching, waiting.<p>

"You know…" Bryan started distractedly, still focused on his laptop. "If you want my attention you have to say something."

For a split second, Jade's expression fell. She tried not to let the obvious thought come to mind, but it did as soon as the words were out of the Brit's mouth. _Kendall would know. We didn't need words. _"S-Sorry," she mumbled, looking down.

Bryan closed his laptop and faced her with a small smile, patting the open space in front of him. "What's on your mind, J?"

Jade did her best not to cringe at the nickname. She didn't know why it bothered her, although she was pretty sure if Kendall had started it she'd feel different. She sighed, scooting shyly until there wasn't an inch of space between their legs. "I just…" She took a deep breath when his hand slid onto her lower leg, stroking it with his thumb. "I'm usually a somewhat decent judge of character or whatever, but I can't-… it's been seven months and I can't tell if you actually like me or not." She slowly slid her index finger up his middle one resting on her leg, giving herself something to look at. She felt like a sixteen year old talking to him about this. She knew he was working with Corporate, helping keep track of her; he had pushed her to go along with the rules and she had fought so hard against all of it… but she was tired of fighting. It was so much easier just going along with everything. Why not when all she wanted in life would never have her back if she begged on her knees and apologized for the rest of time?

And she was lonely.

Bryan laughed softly, making Jade look up at him. "I thought it was pretty obvious…" He leaned closer until he was inches away from her face. "I really…" He stitched his fingers in her hair. "…really like you, darling." He smiled just before pressing his lips against hers passionately.

Jade melted into his kiss.

There were no cameras, no demands, only the thought that she had been feeling different lately. She actually wished she had feelings for Bryan, but she knew not an ounce existed within her. He was just all she had. Him and Becca, who had helped tremendously by making her talking about Kendall. But she had been letting Bryan in lately, getting cozier with him, being one hundred percent nicer to him than she had. She'd get up early—she'd lost the ability to sleep well—and make the two of them breakfast; he would come in tiredly, but before he sat down or made coffee, he'd go and give her a sweet goodmorning kiss. The first day, he just kissed her cheek. The next day they'd had a 5AM scene so neither were in a decent enough state to cook breakfast, but it was the day after that; she began cooking, he walked over like he had that first morning and leaned over to kiss her cheek, but she turned her head to meet him instead. He did well hiding his surprise, but she could see the trace of it in his eyes, but all she did was smile shortly at him, and continue cooking their meal. He didn't question her, and that became a sort of routine. She liked having something like that, as long as he didn't start helping her, or holding her from behind and brushing her hair away from her neck and shoulder so he could kiss it. That was hers and Kendall's routine.

But now she needed more. Just a little more. She never thought she'd need a kiss to make it through, or someone to hold her hand or caress her skin, but she needed to feel _something_. But as her hands gripped Bryan's shoulders, the kiss growing desperate and breathless as she straddled his lap to simply makes things easier, it killed her to realize she still felt absolutely nothing. She was certain that since no one was orchestrating this, no one was _making her _kiss him, it would fill the emptiness she constantly felt.

But it always came back to Kendall. Bryan wasn't Kendall.

She broke away from him when her phone started buzzing on the coffee table beside them. She just stared at the screen and picture, nearly bursting into tears like it was a sign, a warning or something from a higher power. _Kendall Schmidt,_ the screen read. He hadn't called in weeks.

Jade shook it off, ignoring the cautious look on Bryan's face and wrapping her arms tight around his neck until their lips were meshed again She fiercely fended off the tears burning her eyes, trying to think of kissing and feeling rather than Kendall. Bryan easily sensed this, taking a risk in attempt to help her get her mind off things; he slid the back of his hand up her thigh like he was stroking it, but then he took a detour halfway across to the inside of it. She gasped the instant he reached his destination, handling her over her shorts. _There _was that feeling. She could almost laugh at herself. Of course she missed sex. But something told her she'd never be able to go all the way with this handsome Brit with magic fingers. She couldn't be _that _casual. It would be against everything she's ever been about.

She tried to kiss him, but her body wasn't having it, reacting too strongly too his touch. Instead she rested her forehead on his, breathing jaggedly on his parted lips. He was pulling the waistband of her shorts toward himself to slip his hand inside when a single beep sounded from Jade's phone, signaling that she had a voicemail.

Jade nearly fell over. A voicemail? Any pleasure that had been coursing through her immediately fizzled away until she was empty again. Her heart was racing as she mumbled a pitiful "I'm sorry" aimed at Bryan but more to herself, and climbed off of his lap. Her hands visibly trembled as she scooped up her phone, her wonder confirmed when she read "_1 Voicemail: Kendall Schmidt_".

She inhaled as deeply as she possibly could, stumbling for the bathroom. She was already a wreck just from the thought of what she was going to hear; she feared she might break once she actually heard it. She faintly heard an apprehensive Bryan behind her. It sounded like he was following her but she couldn't be sure. "Jade," he'd said cautiously.

"There are no rules against me listening to a recording, okay?" She didn't like how shaky her voice was.

Jade was already dialing her voicemail when she clumsily entered the bathroom, not even bothering to close the door. She stopped when she got to the wall, facing it, frozen as soon as Kendall's inebriated tone filled her head. Although it was much different from the time he'd called her from a payphone.

"_Jade…" _It sounded like he was crying. _"I wish you were here. I-I don't know why you left what we had, wh-wh-which only makes me think you didn't want to but… I-I d-don't know where I'm going with this but, J-Jade… everything's a disaster again. I mean, I don't think I was okay, but everyone else seemed to be until-until… well I posted a cover today. Maybe you've seen it, maybe you don't give a shit about me anymore, but iss about you Jade. I probably shouldn'ta posted it but I had to I'm sorry. Iss not a mean song, juss sad… I-I posted it, an wanted to go out an do something because I was I was upset…" _There was a long pause. Jade held her breath, not bothering to wipe the streams of tears from her cheeks as she turned and sunk to the floor with her back against the wall. Her heart nearly stopped at his next words. _"Dustin an L-Leslie were sleepin' together. Fuckin'. I caught 'em in the act. Leslie cheated on James. An I… I don't think me an Dustin are friends anymore. He-He said some pretty mean things about you and me both… I just- I just… wish you would come back. I miss you more than I should."_

And then the line went quiet, and the robotic woman's voice started up: "_If you would like to erase this message, press seven. To save it, press nine." _Jade quickly pressed nine and dropped her phone, pulling her knees tight to her chest as she sobbed into them. She was such a mess of emotions, she didn't know what to do. But mostly there was anger. At herself. At Dustin. At _Leslie._ That wasn't like her best friend, or… ex-best friend… whoever she was to Jade now. Leslie had always liked to mess around almost in a way Kendall used to, but she never would've cheated on a serious boyfriend/relationship. At least, Jade didn't think she would. She suddenly remembered how Leslie and Dustin had taken to each other the night they all met… but once they moved to California, it was like her crush didn't exist. Jade almost got angrier; had this been going on for a while? Had she only used James or something? She pulled at her hair frustratedly. Surely, Leslie would never do that.

But now… Jade didn't know anyone anymore. She wasn't a part of their lives, and a lot could change in seven months. She was probably the poster child for change. But if there was one thing Jade learned from that voicemail, it wasn't about how her friends had changed; it was how lonely Kendall felt. He felt so alone in all that he did, that when something went wrong, he called the girl who up and left him with no warning, to vent to her.

She cried harder, her shaky hands coming up to unevenly cover her face as Bryan wrapped his arms securely around her, now next to her on the floor. "You're never going to be over him, are you?" he asked softly, resting his chin on her head.

All she could do was shake her head. _No._

* * *

><p>Kendall clumsily picked up the bottle of Pinnacle he had already almost finished and aggressively kicked his phone across the room. He wiped his eyes and nose with his flannel sleeve and took a big swig of the alcohol. He had stolen it from Lauren's kitchen. She was having a party and against his better judgment after everything that went down that afternoon, he agreed to go. He usually avoided her… Jade's… apartment at all costs, but he was lost.<p>

He took three steps into the kitchen and immediately started having flashes of himself holding Jade while she cooked or placing kisses all across the surface of her body while she locked him between her legs as she sat on the counter, so he snatched the first bottle of alcohol stronger than wine that he saw and locked himself in the "guest" bedroom, or Leslie's old bedroom. Lauren didn't care enough about him to make sure he was okay, so he figured he was safe.

He slunk into a corner and started drinking. Once he could feel the buzz coming on, he let his thoughts run wild. Once he was warm and the room was nearly spinning, he let his tears fall. Once all hell broke loose in his mind, he did the last thing he knew he needed to do. He called Jade just to hear her voice on her voicemail. What he _didn't _intend to do was _leave _her a voicemail, but it all just came tumbling out before he could stop himself.

The blonde barely registered the banging on the locked door. Somewhere in his lost mind, he figured it was some wasted couple wanting a place to screw each other, but he had no intention of giving up his place of wallowing in his self-pity. "Fuck off!" he slurred, batting a hand towards the door like it would fend off the unwanted company.

"Kendall, open up!"

"Carlos? Iss that you?" Kendall chugged the rest of his bottle and stumbled to stand up, staggering all over the place until he finally made it to the door. When he finally managed to unlock and pull it open, standing there was his tiny latino friend. "Carlos!" The blonde gripped the door tightly, hardly able to stand up on his own.

Worry was etched all over Carlos' face. "Come on, buddy, let's go." He grabbed Kendall's free arm only to stop and gawk at the empty bottle in his hand. "Did you drink _all _of this by yourself?!" He snatched the bottle from the blonde, who only nodded and slung an arm across his friend's shoulder for support.

"Why are you here?" Kendall mumbled. "I mean, I'm s-so happy you came to the party but- but yeah. Wassup?"

Carlos sighed, doing his best to drag Kendall through the pack of people on the trek to the door. "I heard Lauren was throwing a party, and after all the shit that went down, I figured you came to get away from your house. And since Lauren doesn't give a shit about you, I thought I'd come check on you myself."

"I'm gonna pretend you dinn't juss say that." Kendall pointed at no one in particular.

"Whatever. You won't remember I said it anyways," Carlos mumbled, successfully making it out the door.

"Dianna!" Kendall exclaimed. "Giirrrrrl. Where's Loges?"

Dianna almost looked frightened. "H-He's doing damage control with James… Carlos he looks a lot worse than you said he'd probably be!" She grabbed the blonde's free arm and slung it across her shoulders to help bring him to the car.

"He drank a whole bottle of… something by himself. I think it was Pinnacle, but either way, it wasn't a small bottle. He had locked himself in a bedroom." Carlos' tone was solemn. He thought Kendall had gotten through his drinking phase, or at least _hoped_ he had. But something had told him to go check, so he did.

"He's been crying," Dianna whimpered, observing the side of Kendall's face that she could see.

Kendall sighed overdramatically. "That I have, ma'friend." Almost instantly, tears welled up in his eyes again. "Guys my phone is in Leslie's room! I forgot I kicked it… across the room… after I-I leff that voicemail…"

Suddenly the blonde became a dead weight, nearly knocking both of his friends off of their feet. "Carlos he passed out!" Dianna cried, struggling to hold up her share of the weight.

"We're almost to the car, l-let's just get him buckled in; you can sit with him and I'll run back in to get his stupid phone." The duo paused so the Latino could pull out his keys and unlock the car door.

Dianna was on the verge of tears. "What is happening to all of us, Carlos? Are me and Logan next?"

Carlos took a deep breath as he tried to gently place Kendall in the back seat of his car, also trying to gather his thoughts. His mind was everywhere. When he closed the door, he faced the girl, pulling her into a comfortingly tight embrace. "You and Logan will be fine. You're not Leslie, and you're not Jade; you've got your head on right, you'll be fine. Kendall will be fine. James will be fine… We'll all help each other through whatever else comes our way, alright?" He rubbed her back. "Things could be a lot worse, ya know?" She nodded against his shoulder. "Let's just get Kendall to my place, and Logan and hopefully James will meet us there. Come on. We need to get Kendall into the shower or something."

So the pair climbed into the front seat of Carlos' car, wondering if things would ever be normal for their little circle of friends again.

* * *

><p>"What are you doing out here all alone, son?"<p>

Kendall turned around, squinting his eyes in the sunlight to see his mom walking up behind him. He smiled softly at her and shrugged. "I don't know. Thinking. You know, all I do as of late." They both chuckled similarly as Kathy took a seat in the sand next to her son.

He was out, all the way down the trail from his parent's house, at the secluded lake in a clearing in the trees. His parents' land was one of his favorite places in the world. It was the best possible place to go to clear your head, or just get away from everything.

Which is exactly why Kendall has been living there for a month now.

His parents welcomed him with open arms when he showed up on their doorstep only a couple of days after he told Dustin he was moving out. He only had one packed bag with him, but the next day, his dad rented a moving truck and set out with his sons to get the rest of Kendall's things.

The only downside Kendall saw was now he had to bring Lauren around his parents more. He'd avoided it as much as he could, trying to keep themselves locked up in his room so his family didn't have to see her inappropriateness, but some things were unavoidable though.

But he made sure to never bring her out to the lake. It was too sacred of a place to him. He didn't bring many people out to it; most of his friends didn't even know it existed. He brought James out for the first time a few weeks before, knowing his best friend needed a place of sanctuary as much as Kendall did.

And then Jade. James and Jade were the only two he'd showed. And that's where his mind had been for at least the past half hour; the times Kendall had brought Jade to the beautiful lake.

"So how are things with… Lauren?" Kathy asked, cutting into his reveries with a somewhat bitter edge to her voice. She didn't care to hide how much she disapproved of her son's relationship with this girl; something about her was off, and it seemed like everyone saw it but Kendall. But he knew it too.

"Fine, fine…" Kendall mumbled, his mind anywhere but Lauren. For a while, the mother and son remained silent, until the latter sighed, gazing out over the water with a sad smile. "Do you remember the first time I told her I loved her?"

He didn't have to say her name for Kathy to know he wasn't talking about Lauren anymore. She smiled. "Of course I do, sweetheart. You came barreling in the next morning, and I had to slow you down and make you repeat yourself so I could understand you." The woman chuckled. "I was so proud of you for just finally admitting it."

Kendall looked at her then, an amused smirk settled on his lips. "Finally?"

Kathy pat her son on the back, laughing lightly again. "I knew you loved that girl the first time I saw you together, for your one month anniversary."

Kendall shook his head with a small smile, looking down and picking aimlessly at the lint on his sweatpants, knowing his feelings were that strong that soon, but not focusing on that time. He had been thinking about the day after he told Jade he loved her for the first time the whole time he'd been sitting in the sand. He didn't exactly know why, although there was that little voice in his head telling him it was because that was one of the happiest points in his life.

"_She's it, Momma." Kendall panted, his grin endless. "Maybe it's too soon for someone like me to talk like this, but I'm pretty sure that if I'm not with Jade for the rest of my life, I won't find anyone else."_

"_Oh sweetheart," Kathy beamed at her son, cupping his cheeks in her hands. "She's a good girl. And I'm just so happy _you're_ so happy."  
><em>

_There was a slight creaking at the end of the hallway, and light flooded in. "Alright, she's here!" Kendall whispered. "Do not say anything to her about this!" He pleaded with his mother, who only chuckled and patted her son on the back, both their faces brightening when Jade walked into the room._

"_Hey darlin'," Kendall cooed with a soft grin, meeting her halfway across the room only to wrap his arms around her waist, and hoist her up to meet his lips as he spun her around once before placing her back on her feet._

_She giggled against his lips, snaking her hands around his neck as she kissed him again, moving her mouth to plant a kiss on his cheek, and then his ear before hugging him tight. "Hi," she breathed against his neck. Four months together and the butterflies and embarrassingly flushed face were still in full force for her. It was still hard to believe for both of them that they were together, and had hardly any major bumps in the road so far. _

"We spent almost the whole day out here that day," Kendall murmured, more to himself than anything. "She hadn't said she loved me back, but I knew and… things just seemed so much easier, with those words off my chest. Even for her." He closed his eyes with his head still down, willing his girl back next to him. It may have been nearly eight months to the day since Jade had left him, but God did he still love her with every inch of his heart, did he still dream and wish continuously that she would stumble back into his life, think of her every time he had meaningless sex with Lauren…

He was using Lauren, so badly, and he knew it, but he had to. He had to have _something _that didn't make him feel so worthless, _some _kind of distraction, however minute.

He sighed, shaking his head and resting his hand in the sand next to him, almost expecting Jade's to be there, resting under his. He shook his head again. "It's okay to still love her, sweetheart. To miss her." Kathy raked her fingers through her son's hair, wishing she had answers for him, or some kind of cure for heartbreak.

"I miss her so much," Kendall whispered harshly. "If I could just know _why_ she chose London over me, I really think it'd help me I just… I don't know, wish I had a chance to just talk to her, at least one more time…"

Kathy hesitated before her next words. She had avoided putting this idea in her son's head while he was still unstable, but he seemed more at ease now. "Kendall, do you think it's possible someone made her go?"

The blonde jerked his head to gaze at her, a curious haze in his eyes. "I've thought about it." He averted his eyes out over the water again. "It just seems a little crazy that someone would do that. And why?" He scoffed. "Sounds like something Stacey Carter would do actually. What a pleasant woman."

"She just loved you so much; it was so easy to see that you were the most important thing in her life-"

"Kendall!" Kendall turned to see James emerging from the trail. "Hey Kendall, man. I've got some news." The muscular brunette plopped down next to his best friend and greeted the blonde's mother. "Hi, Momma Schmidt. Sorry if I'm interrupting, but I promise it's important."

"Oh, don't you worry, James dear. We were just having a little chat. Now what's this news?" Kathy beamed at the brunette.

"Well… now think before you act Kendall but-" James stopped when they heard a highly annoying voice calling out Kendall's name. "Shit I'm so sorry man. She must have followed me out here. I told her to stay at the house-"

Kendall waved him off. "It's fine. Couldn't hide it from her forever, I guess." He smiled weakly and stood up, walking towards the girl. "Hey babe," he greeted her more dully than he intended to. "What are you doing here?" He hadn't invited her; he'd actually wanted a day away from her.

"Well I just heard the news and I'm just so excited!" She clung to Kendall like he was trying to run away from her. He wished he could. "I really wanted your opinion on what I should pack!" She smiled brightly up at him.

"P-Pack?" He glanced back at James and his mother nervously.

"For London, duh silly!" Then Lauren gasped. "Did you not know yet? Oh! Well… surprise!" She giggled.

But Kendall was frozen. London meant one thing to him. Jade.

"No, honey," Kathy interjected, standing up with the help of James. "I think his surprise is because you said _you're _packing. Why are _you _packing?"

"Because I'm going with them, Kathy!" She remarked like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Kathy clenched her teeth, trying not to visibly seeth. Lauren had taken it upon herself to just call her 'Kathy,' which anyone who knew Kathy knew she didn't just let anyone call her by her first name so casually.

"It's just the Nick Upfronts in London, Lauren," James stated bitterly, obviously trying to discreetly give the Schmidts the information they needed.

"Yes, and regardless," Kathy added on. "The… girlfriends don't travel with the band like you're suggesting."

"Weird, 'cause it's already been approved and everything!" Lauren exclaimed, not relenting her grip around Kendall's waste.

The silent blonde whipped his head to look at her. "Excuse me?" She just nodded innocently. Kendall grabbed her arms and forced her away from him. "That's great," he said unenthusiastically. "Why don't you go back up to the house. I'll be there soon." The girl shrugged and bounced off. Kendall turned back to the others. "The Upfront?" he whisper yelled at James. "Do you know who is going to be at the _London _Nick Upfront?!" He could feel the panic rising.

Kathy only smiled softly. "There's that chance you wanted."


	20. Collapse

**Chapter 20 - Collapse****  
><strong>

"_You are the piece of me I wish I didn't need; chasing relentlessly, still fight but I don't know why..." – Zedd (Clarity)_

Kendall was trying so hard not to look for her. _Keep your eyes focused on what's going on in front of you. Interviews. Pictures. _But then he'd catch himself using the several inches he had on Carlos' height as an excuse to look down the orange carpet, desperately scrutinizing his surroundings until James' strong grip on his shoulder from behind brought him back to reality. This went on until finally the brunette switched places with Carlos, now only giving the blonde the opportunity to have a close observation of James' fresh haircut. "It's for your own good, buddy," he whispered into Kendall's ear. And Lauren, on the other side of him, wasn't short enough for him to casually look over her head.

Kendall was so peeved his "girlfriend" was with him. He had no idea why his managers and producers allowed her to travel with them; they had never let Jade and Leslie no matter how much Kendall and James had begged.

Jade didn't even know her former lover was within yards of her. Yet there had been this itching nervousness riding around on her shoulder all day. She and Bryan had been extra comfy with one another for the past few days, but today every time he merely touched her it startled her, and she was too bothered by it to be annoyed like Bryan was. He was so annoyed, in fact, that they had gotten into a huge argument in the limo on the way to the event and were now on the Orange carpet, completely faking happiness. Not that that was a new thing for Jade, but she hadn't had to _completely_ fake it for the past few days. But she didn't think she would ever be okay with Bryan again. She shivered, rage enveloping her again as she remembered the events in the limo.

He had almost _hit_ her.

In fact, he would've hit her had she not already been unbuckled from her seatbelt and darted away from him as soon as she saw his hand rear back. She had never moved so quickly in her life. She had difficulty scrambled to the other end of the backseat before Bryan could even process what he had almost done. All she had done was scream at him to shut up when he wouldn't stop poking and prodding about whatever was wrong with her, and she immediately knew she was out of line for yelling at him like that, but out of line was an understatement for what Bryan had tried to do.

They literally had about two minutes until their arrival at the event after that and all Jade could do was force herself not to cry while Bryan endlessly apologized, assuring her he meant her no harm, et cetera. All she said to him before they were to show themselves to the paparazzi was, "You're not forgiven, but we have to show them we're happy." She stiffly pointed to the door for him to exit first, and then they were off, in fake-happy land.

And suddenly as cameras flashed around them, all Jade could seem to think about was how no one was good at detecting her fake smile.

Except Kendall.

And then the blonde was all she could think about. Her brain flooded with images of him until she thought she was drowning; she felt lightheaded, it was harder to maintain a smile. She glanced around distractedly and almost laughed at how ridiculous she felt because her brain had tricked her into thinking she saw Kendall near the doors of the building she would be entering soon.

_Wait._

The haziness lifted and she stared back in the direction she had seen him and her heart dropped. Staring back, was her favorite green-eyed blonde.

Jade managed to turn back to the cameras, her fake smile somehow still in tact, but it was quickly becoming harder to keep her eyes open when lights flashed in her face for some reason. And then it was difficult to stand.

And then she blacked out.

Kendall hadn't been able to take his eyes off of Jade once he finally spotted her. He wanted to be angry at the sight of her, but he couldn't. He didn't know why. All he did know was that the love of his life looked absolutely beautiful in her golden dress, and she wasn't happy to be there. He could see it in her face, and smile.

When Jade finally met his gaze, all he wanted was to run to her and figure out where they went wrong. And when she suddenly collapsed, right there on the Orange Carpet… he did. Lauren was forgotten and the other three parts of Big Time Rush were cautiously following Kendall. A couple of cameras flashed as they zoomed by, but most of the photographers actually had enough respect to not take advantage of what was sure to be a "scandal" by the end of the night.

Kendall's heart was beating out of his chest as he pushed his way through the thin crowd of people surrounding the fallen girl, prepared to do anything he could to help her. He vaguely heard a few gasps around him and wondered if it was because of his presence as he kneeled down next to Jade and took one of her hands in his.

"Are you a doctor?" Kendall heard the male voice and whipped his head up to see the man he knew from pictures as Bryan kneeled on the other side of the girl. "Oh," the Brit _grinned_, much to Kendall's chagrin. "Look who it is!"

Kendall shook his head in disbelief. "This really isn't the time, asshole!" Coughs sounded behind him; James, Carlos, and Logan all trying to warn him to keep it together. So he tried his best. "What's wrong with her? Is she sick? Has she eaten? Does she need water?" The blonde threw question after question at his British nemesis all while holding his love's hand in both of his anxiously, gazing down at her with a desperation he was all too familiar with as of late. The only thing reminding him of their separation at this point was Bryan sitting smugly across from him, who was not holding her hand or even touching her for that matter, Kendall noted.

"You know as much as I do." Bryan shrugged nonchalantly and Kendall nearly punched the life out of him for not caring at all why Jade had fainted.

Instead he looked behind him. "Is anyone coming to help her? What do we do?" His pleading tone broke his friends' hearts, regardless of their confusion over Kendall's actions.

But Carlos seemed to be the only responsive one. He frantically looked around, seeing the flashing lights of an ambulance in the distance. "There's an ambulance," he stated. "But I don't think they'll be able to get down here. Someone should probably carry her."

The words were hardly out of the Latino's mouth when Kendall was slipping his arms under Jade's body and slightly struggling to stand up with her. "Maybe I should do it, mate," Bryan carelessly suggested, standing up with the blonde.

Kendall just scoffed as Carlos laid a hand on his shoulder to start directing him toward the ambulance. "So you can look like you give a shit about her in front of all of these people? Yeah, right." He held Jade close and let Carlos lead him away.

A trail of gasps and curious murmurs followed the three, and it was then that Kendall knew people were reacting like that because of his presence. He sighed and shook his head. He wasn't prepared for questions about it. _Are you and Jade getting back together? Why did you run to help her? She dumped you! _And he was sure not one person would ask why Bryan had sat like the piece of shit he was and done nothing to help his supposed girlfriend.

Kendall was vaguely aware of the stretcher in front of him, the unpleasant red and white lights flashing around, and the EMT's explaining exactly how to lay Jade down on it. His mind was a maze that he couldn't escape, a fog he couldn't see out of. He was stepping into the ambulance when he heard Carlos call his name. It paused him long enough for someone's hand to land on his arm. "Just let me ride with her," he murmured to no one in particular.

"Kendall, you really shouldn't be there when she wakes up," a girl's voice he didn't recognize spoke to him.

"I need to make sure she's okay."

When he looked back at the curly-haired girl, she looked like she felt sorry for what she was doing. And then her voice softened like she didn't want anyone else to hear her, but didn't remove her hand from his arm. "Give it till the end of the event. If she's back, she's not dying. If she's not back, I will personally drive you to see her. But if you are there regardless, it will probably mess things up for her. So just get back to the event please, if you want what's best for her."

The conflict in the blonde's heart was almost too much to handle. A part of him felt that if he let them take her without him, he'd never see her again. But this girl sounded trustworthy enough, and like she had Jade's best interest at heart, so he stepped down from the ambulance, only to scoff in disgust at the sight of Bryan waltzing up and hopping inside in his place. "See you later, mate!" The Brit smirked mischievously.

"You must be a good fucking actor when she's conscious if she's with you," Kendall spat just before the paramedics closed the doors of the ambulance.

"Just ignore him; he's an ass," Becca mumbled, still too soft for anyone but Kendall and maybe Carlos to hear.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Becca, and that's all I can say for now. If someone of importance sees us speaking, it could mean trouble for all of us." And with that, the short, curly-haired girl strolled away.

Kendall was nearly frozen in confusion. _That's all I can say __**for now**_… _could mean trouble for all of us. _

"Kendall, man, we gotta catch up with James and Logan…" Carlos turned away from the blonde to look down the carpet, seeing one of their body guards, Doug, on his way to the pair. The amount of photographers had dissipated, but a few lingered to catch the drama that was Kendall and Jade. Then he suddenly saw James sprinting toward them, simultaneously hearing heavy breathing behind him and seeing camera flashes.

Carlos spun around and saw Kendall nearly doubled over, one hand on his knee, one hand balled up into a fist that he was biting. There were tears in his eyes. Before the Latino could react, James was there and telling him to go, to catch up with Logan and Lauren. And without giving the short man another thought, James was waving Doug over, pleading with him to just stand between Kendall and the paparazzi. Kendall would never be the same again if the public got information on his odd anxiety disorder.

"Kendall, buddy, breathe. Just breathe." James was beginning to panic. "Doug is there a side door somewhere? Away from the photographers?"

And then Carlos was back. "Logan's going to take Lauren in. And one of the guards up there said if we round the corner we'll find an alley with two guards and a side entrance."

James struggled to get a heaving Kendall to stand upright. "Well that sounds pretty damn sketchy," he huffed. "But come on, Kendall. Breathe. Away from the photographers. Breathe. Everything's fine."

But it wasn't fine. Not for Kendall. He'd wanted to see Jade again, hoped and prayed for it, but of course not like that. Seeing her just collapse on the carpet like that nearly broke him all over again. Not knowing what was wrong with her, not being able to go with her _did_ break him again. It was a slap in the face, reality kicking in and showing him how different things were all over again. No matter how much of an asshole Jade's new boyfriend was, it wasn't Kendall's place to escort her anywhere anymore. But it didn't mean he wasn't worrying himself to death over her.

Everything was a blur to him, becoming blacker by the minute. He let himself be led away from the public eye, something he was sure he'd appreciate later if he could ever pull himself out of his head. But right now all he could do was gasp for air, stumble over his own feet, and let the damned tears stain his cheeks.

"He had a lot of panic attacks after Jade left." The words floated into Kendall's garbled thoughts, muffled as if he was underwater, and James and Carlos were above him, in the clear air.

"H-He did?" That was Carlos.

Kendall found himself nodding, but he was still struggling for breath. And crying. Always crying.

His back hit a wall and he immediately slid down it. James grabbed his hand and gently shoved Kendall's head between his knees, simultaneously holding the blonde's hand against his own chest. "Kendall breathe. Remember? Breathe like me."

"Isn't th-that an asthma exercise?" Carlos stuttered nervously. He knew of Kendall's anxiety, he had seen the blonde freak out, but he'd never seen him have a panic attack.

Kendall gasped, trying to get in tune with James. _In. Out. In Out. Stop gasping Kendall. Breathe right before you pass out. If you pass out you're not going to be any better off with Jade. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. _"F-Focusing-" Kendall grasped James' shirt at his chest for purchase as he heaved out steadier breaths. "-on breathing… keeps my… mind… off the panic…"

After just a couple more minutes, James had let go of him and his head was resting against the wall behind him, his breaths still heavier than normal, but steady and calm. "I can't go in there," he croaked, shaking his head slowly. "I thought I could handle this, but obviously not."

"Kendall, give yourself a break; you didn't exactly expect Jade to collapse right in front of you from unknown causes. It had all of us freaking out," James mumbled, his eyes closed and head down in his hands. Kendall's attacks always took a toll on him.

Kendall peeked a glance at his smaller friend who hadn't said a word in several minutes. "You alright?" He pointed weakly in his direction.

Carlos laughed humorlessly. "Me?" He furrowed his eyebrows. "I'm just worried about you."

Kendall shrugged. "Sorry you had to see that. And James…" The brunette grumbled in acknowledgement, and Kendall couldn't help his lip tremble with sadness. "Thank you… again."

James stretched his arm out without looking up, offering his hand in peace. Kendall gripped it tight for just a few seconds and the pair let go.

Silence dredged on.

"Why… do you think Jade is with such an asshole like that?" Carlos' soft voice cut into the quiet suddenly. He could tell Carlos wasn't sure whether to mention it or not, unsure how Kendall would react. But Kendall was fine now. Sort of.

"I know this is going to sound crazy, but…" he mumbled weakly and sighed. He knew what his friends' reactions to his response would be. "I-I don't think she chose London over me." Now Carlos was sighing. "Carlos I'm serious. You weren't watching her out there on the carpet. She's not happy. And you said it yourself, why would she be with such an asshole like that? Well what if someone's making her?"

"You realize you were right about it sounding crazy, right?"

"I know, I know. But… what we had was too real… I… the Jade I know wouldn't have done any of this."

"This isn't the Jade you know, Kendall. And I think you seeing her for the first time in so long is just confusing you."

Kendall didn't bother to inform his friend that he'd been thinking like this before they left for London, before he even knew he'd be seeing his love again. Something had always felt off about the situation, and ever since his mom spoke exactly what he had been thinking, it was only confirmed for him. It had to be true… right?

James didn't take part in the conversation.

* * *

><p><em>'She has no idea, that I'm even here. She has no idea, I'm standing here.'<em>

The band had no choice but to let the show go on and perform for the Upfronts like they were supposed to. The most they could do to accommodate Kendall was switch from their dance-y hit, to a slower cover they'd been given a few weeks ago.

And Kendall didn't know whether he was relieved or panicky that halfway through the song… Jade walked in the room. Or was escorted, more like. He nearly faltered on his line, hating fate at that particular moment that his line was _'Please tell me you can hear me, I'm expressin' my love…' _and noticing the fact that she looked weak. She hadn't completely recovered from whatever was wrong with her, but she was there, and Kendall didn't know whether that was a good or bad thing. He didn't even really know what the point of her showing up was; BTR's performance was the finale of the event. After that, they'd all be dismissed.

Once Jade took a seat next to Bryan in the back, she kept her head down, and for a moment or two, Kendall thought she was avoiding him, avoiding eye contact, and then he saw her wipe at her face. She was crying.

It took everything in Kendall not to leap off the stage and run to her in that moment. He saw James glance at him out of the corner of his eye, and Kendall knew he had noticed too. The too-solemn group finished out their song to an overwhelming round of applause and took a quick bow before exiting the stage.

With only the words, "Come on," Kendall grabbed James' arm and dragged him toward that back alley exit, pulling out his phone and calling a car in the process.

"Kendall we are not doing what I think we're doing?" James protested, but didn't bother trying to take his arm back.

"I want to make sure she goes to the same afterparty that we're supposed to go to."

"Kendall I think she's sick I doubt they'll go to a party."

Kendall sighed. "Then we'll follow them to… their… house." Kendall looked repulsed by the idea that they lived together. "I need to talk to her James."

They waited in their car, time ticking away until finally, half an hour later, Jade and Brian exited the building. "We're following them," is all Kendall said to the driver, who didn't protest for even a second. Kendall felt he needed to remember to give the man a giant tip later.

They followed Jade and Bryan's car, and did in fact end up at the venue their afterparty was supposed to be at. The friends remained in the car though, rolling a window down just a crack to let sound in as they watched a situation unfold before them.

When Jade and Bryan stepped out of the car, they were arguing; that was evident by body language alone. Bryan was pulling Jade's arm, toward the entrance to the venue, and she was shaking her head and trying to pull away. Kendall made a move to get out, but James tugged on the back of his shirt, yanking him back down and shaking his head in warning.

By this point, Jade was in tears, and the guys could hear her saying _"I just want to go home, but __**you're **__making me come to this stupid thing," _but Bryan is persistent in telling her she _has_ to go to the party. Some more things are mumbled between the two that James and Kendall can't hear, but then, clear as day, Jade spoke up.

"I can't pretend anymore. Not tonight. Just stay away from me."

James and Kendall stared, wide-eyed and confused, but before either Jade or Bryan could say anymore, the girl that had stopped Kendall from getting in the ambulance walked up, immediately shooing Bryan away, very obviously annoyed with him. The Brit stormed inside.

The girl then turned to Jade to comfort her. They can't hear what Jade is saying anymore, they can only see that she's getting more and more emotional. Kendall's eyes started to water watching her cry her eyes out. There was something wrong about all of this. She'd only seemed miserable all night, to him. It seemed that she was doing way worse than he was.

He had to find a way to talk to her.

* * *

><p>"Kendall!" Kendall was really tired of that whiny voice. "Kendall you've <em>barely<em> talked to me _all_ night. I _miss_ you!"

It took every ounce of will Kendall could draw up to not push Lauren away when she latched onto his arm and whined in his ear. All he could do was turn his face away from her so she couldn't see the obvious annoyance plastered in his expression. "You can't miss someone if you haven't been away from them, Lauren." He looked across the room where he knew Jade had been all night. She was still drinking. He gulped. She wasn't acting like herself. She was never one for public drinking… not to the point of her getting wasted. He heard Lauren say something, and he snapped at her, "What?"

So she tried to force herself on him, like she always did when he got frustrated with her. She threw her arms around his neck in a dead lock and crashed her lips against his, not caring to take note that Kendall didn't even wrap his arms around her, let alone kiss her back. "I'll just go dance with Carlos then," she murmured against his lips before waltzing away carelessly.

"Is that supposed to make me jealous?" Kendall mumbled to himself. "'Cause it doesn't." He looked over where he'd been staring all night and nearly jumped out of his skin. Jade was gone. He blinked hard a few times, trying to make sure he wasn't overlooking her, and then spun around frantically. _I still have to talk to her. I can't lose her now-… _He saw her slipping through a door that he was fairly certain led to a closet. This was his chance. Probably his only chance. He glanced back and saw that Lauren's back was to him. He made eye contact with Carlos in front of her and mouthed _"distract her please!" _The Latino nodded curtly and focused back on the girl they all hated.

Kendall averted his attention back on that door, making his way across the room toward it, trying not to draw attention to himself. He inhaled deeply, suddenly growing nervous. But before he could freak out, he was sliding through the door and closing it behind him.

Jade was a mess.

The wall directly in front of him didn't have much on it—the sides holding endless shelves—and that's where Jade was. Curled up against the wall. Sobbing.

"W-What's wrong?" Kendall didn't sound like himself. It was thick with emotion. He wanted answers. So many answers he needed. But he would never be able to stand seeing her cry. It would always hurt him, no matter the circumstances. He slowly walked over and kneeled in front of her.

She jumped at his presence, gazing up at him through bleary, glazed eyes. "K-Kendall?" she questioned weakly. "Is it really you?"

"Yeah, it's me." Kendall swallowed thickly, reaching out hesitantly to brush a loose chunk of hair from her face. "W-What's wrong, s-sweetheart?" She'd only gotten overly-drunk one or two times in the time Kendall knew her, and he remembered how child-like she turned.

But he wondered if he was wrong. The way she looked up at him was pure sadness. She seemed completely sober. "It's stupid," she mumbled, not breaking eye contact with him.

"I bet it's not," Kendall cooed. There was a part of him that couldn't believe he wasn't yelling at her, begging for answers, but he just couldn't bring himself to be that way with her. That was probably a bad thing.

"I… I s-saw you a-and your new g-gir-girlfriend kissing a-and I kinda lost it…" She dropped her head into her hands, shaking it and muttering, "_Stupid" _over and over.

Okay, maybe she was a bit inebriated.

"You don't really… have a… right to be upset over that, do you?" Just like Kendall didn't. But he still got messed up over it. But if she was still worked up over him… maybe that meant what he was hoping so desperately for.

Then Jade was sobbing again. "No. I don't. You've probably seen all the shit I've had to- that I've done with Bryan. Y-You probably didn't freak out and start sobbing…"

That hit home with the blonde. "You'd be surprised."

"You should be yelling at me."

"Do you want me to?"

"Kinda."

Kendall sighed. "I'm not gonna yell at you. But I want answers, Jade. I need answers if I have any hope of m-moving on…"

"I can't give you the answers you need." Jade shook her head again, meeting his stare again.

The blonde furrowed his eyebrows, stiffening up. "That's bullshit, Jade! If you have the answers, you can give them to me! That's the least you can do after just-… after just deserting me!"

"I thought you weren't going to yell at me," she murmured.

He didn't falter. "I thought you wanted me to!"

He whipped around when he heard someone fiddling with the door. "_Hide!_" Jade hissed, and Kendall didn't know why he listened, but he moved faster than he ever had to dash behind a shelf far enough back in the darkness.

He was horrified when he saw Lauren walk in.

"Oh," the girl laughed _maniacally_. "Of _course _you're in here!" she exclaimed in reference to Jade. "Pretty fuckin' perfect really. Kendall's lover. The girl that was."

Kendall was taken aback. Not even really by his "girlfriend's" words, but by her mannerisms, her way of speaking. It was nothing like she was around him. Her voice wasn't high and whiny at all. And granted, Jade was always in the tabloids, Lauren never gave the impression that she really knew who Jade was.

Jade was on her feet, looking a bit more steady and less intoxicated than she had a few moments ago. "Is there a reason you're coming into a closet while a party's going on? And your boyfriend is out there?" Jade worked really hard not to falter over the word _boyfriend._

Lauren scoffed. "Boyfriend-schmoyfriend. He's taking a cry baby break in the little boy's room so I figure it's the perfect time to make my nightly call to Stacey Carter to fill her in on whatever shit he's been up to."

Jade stood, stupefied. "You're the one who's been spying on him?"

"Duh?" Lauren rolled her eyes. "Honey, we have the same hair, eye color, and we're just about the same height. I was the perfect candidate to sweep in and take your place. I even moved into your old apartment."

Kendall had to take deep breaths to stay calm, his hand pressed tight against his lips to prevent sound from escaping.

Jade hoped more than anything that Kendall didn't lose his head and storm out and reveal himself. "So you've just… pretended to like him and be with him this whole time? And have reported his every move to the devil herself?"

"Tisk tisk Jade. I wouldn't talk about my aunt like that!" Jade gaped. "And of course! I have some juicy stuff tonight too. You two aren't supposed to make contact. Kendall to the rescue after you mysteriously collapse on the orange carpet? Carrying you to the ambulance?" The girl shrugged. "What was wrong with you anyways? Pregnant?"

Jade scowled, knowing she owed no explanation to this _bitch_, but that Kendall needed as much explanation as possible. "Why would I sleep with Bryan?"

"Oh, I don't know…" Lauren smirked. "Same reason Kendall slept with me? Multiple times, might I add. To feel better about yourself." Jade's lips immediately snapped shut; her eyes watered against her will. "Oh, Jade sweetie, don't feel bad! He was so out of it half the time he probably thought it was you!"

She couldn't stop herself, she couldn't control it; as soon as the last word was out of Lauren's mouth, Jade slapped her across the face as hard as she possibly could. And then she stormed out of the room.

Kendall was fuming. Heaving. His shoulders were shaking and he was sure he was red in the face. He wanted to run after Jade so badly. But he knew for sure now that making his presence known wouldn't be a good idea. _You two aren't supposed to make contact. _And _Lauren. _He couldn't fathom even thinking about her now, even though he was forced to be in the same room as her until she made her godforsaken phone call.

Kendall couldn't be mad that Lauren had been faking it, because he _hated _her. He'd been faking the entire time too. But to know she had been _placed_ in his life, because she somewhat looked like Jade… the fact that Kendall had _fallen for it._ He was so pissed at himself that he could scream.

* * *

><p>The guys didn't see Jade again for the rest of the night. Carlos told Kendall that he saw her run out of the building crying, and that was it.<p>

Kendall and James went back to their hotel early, going to their respective rooms after Kendall swore he'd tell James what happened later.

Immediately, Kendall got to work picking up every belonging of his scattered across the hotel room he was supposed to be sharing with Lauren, and then, he sat on the bed and waited.

He wasted no time when she walked in.

"You know, I don't know how obvious it was, but I never liked you, let alone _loved _you. Actually… I _hated _you."

Lauren looked hurt. "W-What are you talking about?" Whiny voice: check. "B-Baby you're just confused be-because of your old girlfriend… it's okay. I get it! She broke your heart!"

Kendall shook his head. "Don't talk about Jade. This is about us." He took a deep breath. "And we're fucking done."

"Kendall!"

"Find your own way around London. Find your own way home. You're not with us anymore." He grabbed his suitcase. "We're done."

The blonde walked out of the room standing tall. Although there was this voice in his head telling him he didn't have to be so cruel, no matter how much of a bitch she was. But he shook his head at himself. Hate had been a strong word but everything else was nothing to cower away from.

He sighed and stopped in front of James' door, giving it a light knock. When the brunette answered, he looked surprised. Kendall shrugged, "Got room for one more?"

* * *

><p><strong>Well this chapter's kind of a mess. And once again, I'm horrible because it's been MONTHS since I've updated. But I was extra determined today. It's currently 3:15AM but I really wanted this done! It ended in kind of a weird spot... anyways. I know not too much happens in this, but next chapter, I promise should be much better! Stuff happens :)<strong>

**I know I'm horribly inconsistent (and extremely behind on PMs! I'm so sorry y'all!), but if you reviewed this it would truly mean the world to me and to know that I still have readers would be nice motivation :)**

**Hope it was worth reading! And as always, THANK YOU for reading, period!**


	21. Clarity

**This was a lot harder to write than it used to be. In the past couple of months I've actually completely changed my writing style, but it's not like I can apply that to any new chapters of this story, so it was just really hard writing in this style and I feel like it's really robotic and boring, and for that I'm sorry. I also left a lot out of this that I shouldn't have for sake of being thorough and consistent, but my goal was getting the main of the story written out and posted for y'all, and I wrote bit by bit day by day so my storyline got a bit messed up along the way. I just hope it's decent enough for the couple of you that still read this.**

**Also, after this, there will only be two more chapters + an epilogue.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 21 – Clarity<strong>

"_A clock ticks till it breaks your glass, and I drown in you again." – Clarity (Zedd)_

And just like that, Jade was a freaking mess all over again.

She knew she had _no _right to get so upset over Kendall sleeping with another girl. She deserted him with no explanation and between all the articles about her and Bryan, he had no reason to hold on to her. But damn it, _she_ knew the truth. And the truth _hurt._ She'd learned how to handle it, but now she had been ripped open again, she was vulnerable and miserable.

And there was a chance she'd run into the guys again.

She wasn't prepared for it. It had been hard enough when she ran out of the party and James had called after her. Like he was worried about her. Like he still cared. It took everything she had to keep running away. And now she had to go into avoidance mode. She hated that she had to work; she had a couple of hours on the movie set and then had to move to another studio to shoot a promo, which is what the guys were doing as well. They just weren't shooting the same promo, or in the same studio, thankfully.

Jade was sitting in her personal makeup artist's room, curled up in a chair, done for the day and hiding. She made the mistake of getting online on her phone; in the British celebrity tabloid section was an article about her and Kendall. She cried out at the picture of Kendall's back, carrying Jade away to the ambulance, yet she still read the article. When it closed with, _"…once Schmidt was seemingly stopped from escorting Thomas to the hospital, it appeared that he had a panic attack of sorts before bandmates Carlos Pena and James Maslow rushed him away to a back exit. It's pretty safe to say that Schmidt never exactly moved on." _She broke down. She knew how bad his anxiety could get, had witnessed fits and episodes, but it had never gotten bad enough to turn into a full blown panic attack.

"Jade? Is everything alright?" Jade had forgotten Sarabeth, her makeup girl, was still in there, and now she was making a show crying her eyes out.

The girl shook her head frantically. "No, it's not," she sobbed before jumping up and running out the door. She needed to be alone.

She rushed past Becca and her protests for Jade to stop and just talk to her, and ran straight for a stupid _closet_ that had been her place of solitude in the past. She didn't realize she had been followed.

Once Becca made sure that was where Jade had gone, she rushed back, past Studio C, and all the way to Studio E, where a certain four boys were finishing up their solo promos. And just like Becca was the luckiest person in the world, she saw James crossing the hallway into the catering room, alone. That was exactly what and who she needed.

But she had to plan this carefully as well. If there were other people in the catering room, she couldn't very well just tell him what she needed of him. There were also cameras. She just couldn't have someone hear… She whipped out her phone and began typing away in her Notepad. She read over it, satisfied, and then made her way into the room, hoping James wouldn't give away too much if he recognized her from the night before.

"Hello James!" she exclaimed, relieved to see he was alone in the room. His eyes immediately showed that he recognized her, but before he could ask any questions, she pressed on. "I'm Becca. I'm with the tech crew, and I just wanted to run something by you quickly?" James seems to sense the urgency and secrecy behind her tone because his questioning expression disappeared, and he greeted her with a friendly smile, like they'd never crossed paths before, and took the phone from her hand.

She watched the curiosity melt from his face as well, turning into something more like, well, shock, as he read through the paragraph. _"James, if you exit this door, turn right, go all the way down the hallway and turn left, go all the way down that one and turn right, and go into the second door on the right, you will find Jade (probably crying so be prepared for that). You need to talk to her. Make sure no one sees you go in, and tell her Becca sent you and that I said she needs to tell you everything. Everything. Now say, "Sure Becca, that sounds great!" or something of the sort, and give me my phone back."_

James had the phone longer than Becca thinks it takes him to read it, and notices how tight his hand is clenched around it. His eyes scanned over the words again and again until he finally gave the phone back with a brilliant smile (wow he was a good actor) and said, "Sure Becca! That sounds really great!" He turned back to the food he didn't seem to care much about anymore and picked at it, his mouth twitching and his temples pulsing as he clenched his teeth, mulled things over in his mind. And then, "Fuck it," he mumbled under his breath before he brushed past Becca and hurried in the directions he had memorized from Becca's phone.

Once his hand was on the doorknob, he hesitated. The hurt ran thick through him again as he ridiculously remembered how his best friend abandoned him, and how her best friend cheated on him. But then he thought he heard footsteps coming around the corner and he realized answers might lie behind the door and then he heard soft sobbing and before he knew it, he was throwing himself into the closet.

"J-James?" Jade gazed up at him helplessly from where she was curled up in the corner, face flushed and wet eyes swollen. "James," she breathed out. But quickly she realized she sounded relieved to see him, which she was, but that couldn't fly, right? Jade didn't have her old friends anymore. Any of them. Her bottom lip trembled as she watched him contemplate what to say, as he stood there more awkwardly than she had ever seen him. "What are you doing here?" she asked softly.

With an aggravated huff, he fixed his eyes on her. "What are _you_ doing here?" There were many layers to that question.

"I-I-I can't… James…"

He shook his head. "No," he said, and the girl slowly, shakily stood up in front of him. "No, Jade. Don't. Becca sent me here."

"What-"

"She said to tell me everything."

"W-What?"

James sighed. "She told me where you were, and said to tell you to tell me everything. I don't know what _everything _entails, Jade, but if it'll clear some things up, give me, give _Kendall _some answers, you need to tell me now."

Tears were streaming hot down her face all over again, and she cried out, "I didn't want to leave, James. I swear I didn't! They made me."

Silence dwelled between them as James let those words sit in his brain. _They made me. _

But then there were audible footsteps heading in their directions. Jade flinched back in surprise. "No no no," she murmured. "No one can see us together, James! They- They…" She frantically glanced around the dim closet. There was absolutely nowhere for one of them to hide, and as soon as James grabbed her, she clicked with the same idea. She nodded, silently agreeing as she pushed him toward the wall behind him.

But he shook his head and with firm hands on her hips, flipped them around, his body caging hers against the wall. He splayed a large hand across the side of her head, hiding her as much as he could. "Are they really as crazy as you're making them out to be?" he whispered with their noses pressed together, whoever was in the hallway beginning to jiggle the apparently stuck doorknob.

She glanced at the rattling door with worried eyes and back at her old friend. "If the door opens, kiss me."

"_Jade_-" he began to protest.

But then the door opened.

The kiss was hot—could've been really, um, _hot_ had the pair ever had feelings other than platonic toward each other—and rough, all teeth and tongues and not matching up exactly the right way. Jade ran her hands across the back of James' head just as someone began sputtering in shock in the doorway. But then a familiar, unpleasant voice struck Jade's ears. "Looks like this one's occupied already. We'll have to find ourselves somewhere else."

Jade's grip in James' hair tightened at the sound of Bryan's smug voice. The bastard. At this point in time there was no one else in the world that she disliked more than him. Almost hitting her the night before and then forcing her back to the events after she'd collapsed were just the last straws for her. And all his acting like he cared all this time… Jade may not have reciprocated his supposed feelings but she had never technically lied to him. And here he was, looking for a closet for an urgent, casual fuck.

She heard the girl with him giggle. "Good to know we're not the only ones with this idea. Come on, Bry. Plenty of other dingy closets for us." The pair withdrew from the occupied space with a laugh, and just before the door closed, they heard, "Nice muscles, American boy."

James accidentally bit Jade's bottom lip in his surprised falter and her eyes watered with the pain as she shrunk under him, desperate for none of her to be seen while still holding his head firmly in place. "_He's still listening_," she whispered between sloppy kisses, and James growled, _growled,_ caging her head with his arms against the wall, pressing her body into it.

But he stopped kissing her. They panted, open mouth to open mouth, until James licked his lips and flinched back slightly. "Shit, I think you're bleeding. I'm sorry," he murmured.

Jade let out a soft, hysterical laugh that she desperately hoped didn't sound too much like herself, and gripped his shirt in her fists for some form of purchase. She was shaking at this point, and leaned her forehead into the crook of her old friend's neck until footsteps outside the door finally sounded and faded away with giggles trailing after them. Jade exhaled and shook her head against James' skin. What had just fucking happened? Could she even face him after nearly _forcing _him to make out with her like that? And _God, _what about _Kendall_?

"This," James said, taking a small step back from her. "-never happened."

She was taken aback by his grin and showed him a relieved one. "I was really hoping you'd say that." Then she sighed and started sliding down the wall; James gently grabbed her hands to steady her—she was still shaking—and eased himself down in front of her as well.

"You know…" He bumped her knee with their hands and then let go of her. "I trusted you enough to _make out with you_ on command…" He sighed. "Care to tell me why I had to hide you like that?"

Jade hit her head back against the wall. "I'm so sorry," she groaned. "And yeah-… yeah, I-I'll tell you… since Becca said-… I just… God, James they knew it was you, if Bryan had just an _inkling _that it was me, it's going to be a disaster." Or a lot of disasters. All interconnected.

"Wait that was _Bryan?_ What the _fuck_ Jade, aren't you two _together_-"

"No."

"What?"

"He and I were never together, James." And Jade had never felt more relieved to say words before.

With just that tidbit of information, things started to click into place for the man. "You said they made you leave…"

Jade nodded. "I mean, it's not like she physically forced me or anything… but she threatened Kendall's job, and then Logan's. If I continued to be uncooperative, she would've moved on to threaten you and Carlos too." James just soaked in the new information as he stared blankly at her hands that were fidgeting anxiously in her lap. "I-It wasn't just a 'no more BTR' kind of threat. She said she'd make it impossible for them to find work ever again and I-I panicked… she told me all of this less than 24 hours before y'all were set to come back from Germany and I just didn't know what else to do but go along with it-"

Her tears were back and James snapped to attention, taking her hands in his again. "Hey…" he murmured, shaking his head. "That was-… really stupid of you."

Jade pretended it didn't feel like she had just been stabbed instead of spoken to. "I know," she whimpered. "The longer I stay here the more it sinks in how badly I hurt everyone. And I hate myself for it."

"No, no, Jade, I-… I didn't mean it like that… you just should've talked to someone."

"I kinda did. I mean, I talked to Scott, who was on my side by the way, and even he was all 'just go and I'll get you outta there as soon as I can'," she droned miserably. "But I haven't heard from him. I shouldn't be surprised, I guess… he wouldn't have been able to contact me without being on her radar…"

James furrowed his eyebrows. "You keep saying _she, her…_"

"Take on wild guess," Jade sighed.

Without missing a beat, he answered, "Stacey Carter."

"Bingo. We thought she was a bitch before? She upgraded to psycho bitch and arranged all of this. She's convinced Kendall's going to be a giant star, that _she_'_s_ going to be responsible for it, and that I was too much of a distraction for him."

"That's insane."

Jade shook her head. "That's just the start."

She told her old friend about how Stacey Carter had people everywhere, how she tracked Jade through her phone—which she had luckily left in Sarabeth's studio—how she traced her phone and text records, which is why she could never call any of her old friends in secret, or answer their calls. How after she answered Kendall's payphone call, she couldn't even contact her family without someone else present. How she had been forced, with the same threats toward Kendall, to fake a relationship with Bryan and live with him. She told him about the closet. The staged and scripted dates and interviews. Her strictly enforced lifestyle. She even told him about letting herself get close to Bryan just because she wanted to feel something beside numb, and then how he almost hit her last night and forced her back to the event after they were done at the hospital. And lastly about her run in with Kendall and Lauren.

"Kendall told me what happened with Lauren last night." When Jade looked at him exasperatedly he held his hands up in defense. "I just wanted to make sure the stories matched up, okay?" And then he filled her in on what Kendall overheard after Jade hit the girl and ran out, which wasn't much, honestly, just provided him with more proof, and how Kendall dumped the girl on her ass when they all got back to the hotel. Jade did her best to hide the intense relief she felt hearing that piece of information. But even with a year separating them, James still knew her well; he saw it evident on her face. His lips curled into a grin. "Lauren had a pretty nasty bruise on her face this morning."

A part of him was still upset, still angry with Jade and what her leaving caused, but that would take time to go away. For now he soaked in the feeling of finally having answers, of maybe possibly having his best girl friend back.

Jade looked down bashfully. "My hand stung for like half an hour after that."

James laughed heartily, keeping in mind to stay somewhat quiet. "Don't feel bad. You just did what none of us could do." The girl gazed up at him curiously at that. "We _hated_ her," he breathed out. "Kendall didn't even like her. He just wanted a distraction from- well… you know."

Staring down at their hands that were still locked together after all the time talking had passed, Jade nodded. Tears welled up in her eyes again, but she forced her emotions down. Maybe James coming after her had been a horrible idea that was going to ruin all of their careers, or maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Maybe they could do something to fix this now. After a couple moments of silence, Jade averted her attention back to James' face with teary eyes. "How have _you_ been, James?" she asked tenderly. He had his own form of love disaster that they hadn't said one word about yet.

His expression fell and he shrugged slowly. "Both my girls left me…" He smiled sadly and Jade slumped, overcome with sorrow. "I had to try and pick up the pieces that was Kendall. Had to help him through all of the breakdowns. It definitely kind of took a toll on me I guess. And then when Leslie-…" Jade squeezed his hands supportively. "I've just felt pretty dead for the past month or so. Numb. Whatever."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so so sorry. Leslie and I both just… caused so much drama for you guys… y'all deserve so much better…"

James shook his head. "I'm not going to defend Leslie, because she did a shitty thing and I'm too far from and probably never will forgive her, but… I can defend you." Jade started to protest and he cut her off. "No. Look. What you did was beyond shitty… from an outsider's perspective. And we've all been outsiders without even knowing it. You had a reason. You didn't want people to lose their jobs. You were put in an impossible situation and you did what you thought was best. And you had no control after that. I get it, and I'll get over the other stuff. Kendall will too. We can make this all better."

Pursing her lips together as if trying to withhold emotion, Jade leaned forward and wrapped her arms around the man in a warm hug. "I love you, James," she mumbled.

"I love you, too, Jade." James sighed into her hair. "Platonically though, right? 'Cause I mean that kiss was pretty hot-"

Jade laughed and hit his arm as she pulled away. "Shut _up,_ let's _not _make that whole making out thing even more awkward." She covered her face with her hands. "I can't believe I made you do that. It was just all I could think of on the spot!"

James chuckled and pulled her hands away from her head. "To be honest that was pretty much the only thing that would've been believable as far as getting people to go away and hiding you goes." He shrugged. "Just consider yourself lucky you've got a best friend that will make out with you when danger strikes." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Jade shoved at him but grinned sheepishly, warming all over at him calling himself her best friend. "Yeah you heard me," James shoved her back. "You're still my best friend."

And a little bit later, after much protesting, arguing, whining, and even some more tears, James left her with a command to stay in the damn closet while he ran out to do something as quickly and discreetly as possible. James promised he would be back as soon as possible.

* * *

><p>James did his best not to break into a full out sprint to BTR's dressing room, hoping more than anything Kendall hadn't caught a ride back to the hotel yet. He'd been in that closet with Jade for well over an hour.<p>

Just before he turned the corner that would put him a mere few feet away from the dressing room door, someone called after him with a smug "Hey!" James sneered, but cleared his expression before turning to face the guy. "Maslow, right?"

"Well I generally go by James, but uh, sure dude."

Bryan clapped the other man on the arm heartily. "Looked like you were having fun in that closet. Tell me, who was your closet-call?"

James could hear the suspicion in the Brit's voice, and he refused to give him _any _idea that it was Jade. He shrugged casually. "My hair and makeup girl."

With another clap on the arm, Bryan grinned a shit-eating grin. "Good that, chap. For a moment there I thought maybe you had stolen Jade away for yourself or something." James did his best not to tense. "I can't find her, you see, but of course _you _wouldn't smooch on her, being she's your best friend's ex-lover and all. That would be just wrong."

James scoffed. "Wrong, and _impossible_. I haven't even seen Jade since the Upfronts after party last night."

He realized Bryan wasn't smiling anymore, a flat expression in place instead. "Good."

"Bryan, are you harassing people again?" James had never been more relieved to hear someone's voice. He saw Becca approaching behind Bryan.

"Oh, cousin, I would never harass anyone. I'm sure you know that." Judging by the dirty look she shot at him, it was safe to say she _didn't _know that.

While the guy had his back to James, the latter made wide eyes at Becca, '_get him away'_ he mouthed just before Bryan turned back around.

"Sorry mate, got some business to tend to. So nice chatting, though."

James grunted and turned away, desperately hoping Becca could get the dude away, otherwise James wouldn't be able to go through with his little plan. He slipped in through the dressing room door, chancing one glance back at the retreating duo. They were heading both away from the dressing room, _and _the closet. Good.

"Where the hell have you been?" Logan nearly shouted, seemingly more annoyed than James had ever witnessed.

"First of all, shut your fucking mouth!" James whispered harshly. He glanced around the room like there was going to be someone lurking in the corner. Then he pulled up a chair in front of the three guys sitting on the couch. "Second… I was with Jade."

"Seriously?" was Carlos' response, while Logan's expression fell clean from his face and Kendall looked as hurt as a kicked puppy.

He focused his attention on Kendall, leaning forward. "I got all of the answers we've been looking for. She didn't want to leave. You were right."

Kendall's eyes widened and looked like they could fall out as James started his quick, shortened version of what Jade told him. As the story drug on, the blond's face emoted relief and clarity, like a light bulb had been lit in his brain. He was pacing, running his fingers through his hair anxiously by the time James finished his spiel.

"I knew it. I fucking knew it," he mumbled into the silence. And then he was staring at James. "I have to- I have to see her. Show me where she is…?"

Logan narrowed his eyes, speaking for the first time since after James walked in, "Just like that, Kendall?"

"W-What?"

"Just like that, you're going after her, fucking trying to get her back?"

Kendall's mouth fell open in disbelief. "I-… _yeah_? Did you hear any of what James just said? She didn't want any of it. She was forced into it all. She saved my job, and _yours_ too, by the way, in case you missed that part-… whatever, my life, my choices. James. I need to see her."

The brunette in question glanced between his friends uncertainly before answering Kendall. "…Yeah, just… let me make sure the coast is clear, alright?"

Before he could even stand, Logan was on his feet. "Do what you want. I get that you still care about her with all the one true love shit, but this just isn't even remotely right! Maybe you missed what she put you through for the past eight and a half fucking months, but I didn't." He barely even took a breath. "You're just now getting back on your feet, only to dive right back into depression."

"Logan-"

"She's not going to be able to get out of her movie contract, dude. What the fuck is going to be different after this?"

"Just knowing-"

The mere expression—like Kendall was the most hopeless case he had ever witnessed—shut the blond up in a second. And then Logan stormed out of the room. Carlos seemed uneasy as ever, staring after him until he just got up and followed without a word. James moved his eyes to Kendall, who appeared somewhere between dumbfounded and crestfallen.

The group was obviously split on feelings toward Jade.

James watched the battle work itself through Kendall until his mouth set in an obvious firm decision. They stared at one another for a long moment until the brunette nodded and told his friend to wait where he was, then walked to the door and peaked out. With impeccable timing, Becca rounded the corner—alone—and headed for him. "Did you get rid of Bryan?" he whispered.

She nodded. "Sent him home, where he knows Jade won't go, so it won't look suspicious as it normally would if she doesn't show up for a while."

"What about Jade being tracked through her phone? It's in her makeup girl's room I think… but if someone goes looking for her…"

"I'll take it to my place," Becca confirmed. "All they'll do is call if she's needed and I can say she's in the loo or something."

Now James nodded. "Thank you."

With a smile, Becca spun on her heels and trotted away.

* * *

><p>Jade was getting restless. She had been in a closet for <em>hours<em> with only her thoughts swirling around her mind to occupy her without James there. She still couldn't believe all that had happened. She knew she trusted Becca, but sending James to Jade was going beyond anything Jade ever expected. She was so torn though. It made her ridiculously happy to be around James again; it wasn't quite Kendall but it was _normal_—minus that whole kissing debacle that they're _never_ talking about again—and it was _right._ And it just made her miss everyone even more. But if this little meeting backfired, they'd be in huge trouble. And her disappearing to London and suffering through all of the crap she had suffered through would be all for nothing.

_Maybe I should send James away when he gets back. Maybe I should stop letting my hopes raise. It's not like they're gonna sweep me up and away from this place-_

Her thoughts were cut short when the door cracked open and a body slipped through. She scrambled to her feet, preparing herself for any possible situation.

Or at least she thought so until she saw Kendall standing there.

"Kendall?" she murmured in disbelief.

"Jade."

She whimpered, "Kendall."

And then his soft, warm lips found hers in the dark space, guiding himself more by memory than sight as one of his hands grazed across the nape of her neck, pushing her hair away and holding the back of her head, while his other arm snaked around her waist, clutching onto her for dear life. She clasped his hand on the back of her head, lacing their fingers desperately, touching his face all over with her other. His jaw, cheek, eyebrow, ear, and she ran her fingers through his now short, darker hair, then gently slid her fingers down his face, finding his eyelashes and cheeks wet. Only then did she realize tears were streaming uncontrollably down her own face.

She ripped her lips away from his, choking on a sob that had been building in her chest since their reunion. She frantically pulled him by the back of his neck, just wanting him to hold her as tight as he possibly could. He tucked his lips and nose into the crook of her neck, planting continuous kisses there until he was shivering uncontrollably. Jade's worry escalated as she felt the tremors roll through him, but then, right before the first few tears hit her skin, she realized he was full-on crying, sobbing. She had never seen this beautiful man cry, though she had come pretty close the day she left him.

She grasped frantically at his back as if she couldn't get him close enough, repeating "I'm so sorry," over and over again, crying harder the more she said it. Eventually her words faded into, "I love you so, so much, Kendall. I always will."

"S-Stop, just stop." Kendall pressed his nose into her soaked cheek as he meshed his mouth against hers in a puzzle-completing way. "This isn't goodbye anymore," he cried. "Not now that I know. So stop talking like it is." He kissed her deeply, placing his hands over hers when she cradled his head. "I love you, too. Always."

Jade shook her head, tears cascading down her cheeks in rivers. "I don't deserve this, I don't deserve _you_. I should've told you-"

"You were protecting us, Jade. I get it, I _forgive_ you." He ran his hands soothingly up and down her arms, still leading up to his face where his tears were slowing, but still plentiful.

"You shouldn't," she whispered. "You should be furious with me."

Kendall's eyes slid shut as he took a deep breath. "I've been furious, and hurt, and confused for eight months, and twenty-six days. You left, yeah, and it was probably the worst thing I've ever gone through… but I know you. Better than anyone. I know what you felt you needed to do. And there was a part of me that always knew you didn't want to leave. I could see it in you that day, I was just too… blinded by everything else. But I just-… I love you, and I'm bringing you home no matter what the cost."

Throwing her arms around his neck and holding him close again, she squeezed her eyes shut. "I don't deserve this."

"You said that already." Kendall actually sounded amused as he rubbed his hands up and down her back slowly, eventually slipping under her shirt as if it was an old habit he never broke. He reveled in the way she slipped her arms under his and snuggled against him more and he dropped a kiss to her shoulder. "I tried so hard to just… _hate_ you for choosing career over me." Jade stiffened. "But I just couldn't. I couldn't hate you, Jade."

They were rocking back and forth now, in a music-less slow dance. "Do you know how much I hated _myself _for even _pretending_ I chose my career over you? It will _always_ be you. Nothing else matters as long as I have you."

They pulled back just enough to be face to face, cheeks brushing before their lips met softly. And soon they were moving, Jade being led backwards until she was pressed into the wall and Kendall was nipping gently at her lips, pleading entrance that she happily granted. Everything was slow, sensual. There was no desperate hunger in the kiss. It was more like a quiet urgency, the need for the contact but wanting to savor each moment as if it was their last.

When there was a break, when their foreheads were resting against each other, Jade murmured, "We should probably be talking instead of kissing…"

Kendall nodded but didn't stop himself from kissing her deeply, a kiss intense enough to take their breath away with the sheer passion behind it. "Okay," he whispered eventually, like he had just needed a little bit more before they talked like she said. "Let's sit?"

They settled, Kendall with his back against the wall and Jade straddling his thighs—where nearly a year ago this would've easily led them first to intense kissing, followed quickly by—probably overly—passionate love-making, here, now, it was only about being close, cuddling and still able to see each other properly.

Jade soaked in everything about him as if she were just seeing him for the first time. She caressed a hand down his face and raked fingers through his short, completely different hair. He looked so different, yet exactly the same. She traced a finger over his lips and his eyes slid shut as he took a deep breath. "You look good," the girl breathed, touching his hair again with a small smile gracing her face.

Opening his eyes slowly, Kendall gazed up at her through his eyelashes, leaning into her touch. "I was tired of it hanging in my face all the time. Wanted something different."

Jade hummed. "They let you get rid of all the highlights too." He nodded. "I like it."

"Yeah?"

"Nah…" Kendall's eyes widened in disbelief, and the girl grinned. "I love it." Suddenly his grin matched hers and he leaned upward for a chaste kiss. After a moment of peace, Jade spoke up. "How much did James tell you?"

The blond shrugged. "I think mostly everything. He just didn't give a whole lot of details for sake of time I guess. But I got the basics. You've been living in hell, pretty much. All the stuff in the tabloids about you and Bryan was staged. You live in a closet. Everything you do is tracked. Bryan's a fucking asshole. Stacey Carter is evil."

"That's about the basic, yep."

"I'm sorry." His eyes reeked of sincerity.

Jade scoffed unintentionally. "Do _not _apologize. Like, ever again. Don't-"

Kendall shook his head. "I just meant… for what you had to go through. I mean I went through my own personal hell and had a girl planted in my life but it was still _nothing _like the shit they put you through…" He stroked the back of his hand down her cheek. "I can't even imagine…"

"Trust me I've been a lot more worried about you all of this time." She felt like crying at the brief glimpse of remembrance, depression, that crossed his face. "Words…" She slipped her hands under his collar, rubbing her thumbs into his skin. "-could _never_ explain how sorry I am." She shook her head. "I'll never be able to make it up to you."

By then it was as if distance wasn't an option anymore, literally; if their foreheads weren't touching while they spoke, their noses were, their old magnetism trickling its way back in easily. "You will," Kendall murmured. "Just come back. That would be more than enough."

Squeezing her eyes shut, Jade whispered, "Kendall, if they find out about you and James- and me… you could lose your job. And my movie contract-"

"So we'll figure something out, okay?" Kendall grabbed her face firmly. "Look, they can't blackmail you like that. Let's just… come up with something. Anything. We can work this out. It's us."

After a lengthy, emotionally deep kiss, the old couple started formulating a plan.

They would wait a week. Kendall would fly back to America the next day as planned. Jade would go on with her normal work schedule. Only this time, in any meetings she's drug into, or in any run-ins with Bryan, she would record everything. They figured a wire was too much of a risk, so they settled that her phone would do. Jade was sure she was bound to get something incriminating enough to work things in her favor, so at the end of the week, she would go to Stacey Carter, who was set to be in town then, and basically, blackmail her just as she did Jade. Unless they fired her, she would still have to continue the movie, so then she would demand they fly Kendall out—since he had the next two months off—to be with her. And they would work out the rest from there.

The pair's little secret meeting ended much the way it began, with a teary-eyed, touchy make-out, more spoken 'I love you's, and Kendall's desperate "_See you soon_" as he nearly couldn't let go of her hands.

Jade stayed in the closet for another half hour before finally slipping out and calling a car to bring her to Becca's. She had restored hope in her heart, but there was still worry, and doubt. This could all go wrong. She couldn't be happy yet.

* * *

><p>The week passed successfully, if by that, one meant Jade being constantly berated was successful… for once it was, in her book. She had plenty of incriminating evidence to hold against Stacey Carter and her minions. Between a conversation with a photographer looking to stage Bryan and Jade's next date, Stacey Carter belittling Jade and using Kendall as a weapon—as usual—against her, and Bryan actually threatening to hit her… she was pretty much guaranteed Presidency from these people, really.<p>

So she set up a meeting, as planned.

"Stacey," Jade said firmly as she planted her feet in front of the woman's desk.

The robot woman sneered. "How many times have I told you not to call me that?"

"Whatever. This meeting will be quick."

"Good."

Jade rolled her eyes, and hit play on her phone. Bryan's threat to hit her. As soon as Stacey tried to cut in with her drone-like voice, Jade smirked and switched over to the same stupid voice plainly stating the girl is obviously not there on her own will. Stacey's glare was enough to fuel Jade's fire. "This is going to be simple. Kendall has the next two months off. Vacation. His vacation will be here. London. If not, the press gets a hold of these recordings."

"You've got it all figured out, don't you?" Jade didn't like the tone of the woman's voice.

"I do. And I also have a recording of one of the plans for a staged date with Bryan. I think that about sums up the hell you people have put me through. So. Kendall comes here. As soon as possible."

Stacey Carter clucked her tongue and tapped her fingers on her desk. All too nonchalantly. "Well how am I supposed to get him here if they're leaving for a month and a half long signing tour in just a week?" Jade froze. "Oh, did your little Kendall not tell you he had a tour? Told you he would spend every possible waking minute with you?" The robot grinned, a sickening sight for her. "Revenge is sweet, isn't it?"


	22. Reunion

**22 - Reunion**

"_Too many places get in the way of bringing you back into view." – Kris Allen (My Weakness)_

Kendall sucked in a deep breath and let it go with a wistful grin, listened to the old man on the corner singing a blues-y song. He found himself whistling to the tune, earning himself a nod from the performer. His smile only widened and he continued his stroll down Sunset Boulevard. Lyrics were zooming around his head, truthfully, he was halfway through a lovesong already, probably his best yet. And then he came across a couple sharing soft kisses on a park bench, presumably waiting for a bus, and this warm feeling coursed through the blond.

God, he missed Jade.

He actually pulled his phone out, got halfway through dialing her number before he remembered. They had a plan in action. She would contact him. He sighed and put it away, braving the wave of sadness and stepping into the coffee shop he was heading for.

Once he stepped out, inhaling the steam from his upside down caramel Macchiato, he took a seat at one of the tiny round tables outside. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he'd be lying if he said his heart rate didn't skyrocket with hope and anticipation. But alas, it wasn't Jade.

"Hello?"

"Kendall, man. We're making some intense progress out here. I've never seen a project move this fast."

Kendall sipped his coffee and grinned. "Dude, you don't know how happy I am to hear that."

"Yeah we've already got a slab laid down."

"What?" the blond sputtered. "You leveled the place out already? Shit dude, you weren't joking."

"Told ya. You comin' to check on it any time soon?"

"Later today, Sean. And seriously, I can't thank you enough."

"Don't even worry about it. What are friends for, right?"

"Right-" A beep sounded in Kendall's ear. "Oh, man, someone's calling, I gotta go."

"No problem. See you later."

Kendall clicked over, answering the incoming call from PR.

"Kendall, we've got some big, but last minute news."

"Hit me."

"The big guys up at Nick set up a huge signing tour, and you guys will be doing all kinds of press. It could be really good for the band."

Kendall gulped his beverage generously and withheld a sigh and roll of his eyes. He was pretty done with Nickelodeon. "That sounds awesome!" he lied. "So we'll pick that up after our break?"

There was too long of a pause for Kendall's liking. "No. Actually. Um, well, I said it was last minute…" Kendall froze. "You'll leave in two days."

And if a camera caught him angrily kicking his chair back to storm off and leave his coffee cold, well, he honestly couldn't care less.

* * *

><p>"I'm done. I'm so done."<p>

"Well hello to you, too, buddy," James smirked around a bite of his pizza.

Kendall stopped and looked back at the door he had burst through without knocking and hadn't even bothered to close… "Sorry," he mumbled, going back to shut it.

"Now. Take a deep breath and share with me your troubles, young grasshopper."

Kendall glared at his friend's smirk and joking attitude, knowing he was about to rip that newfound happiness away from him. "PR called. I've got news to pass along." At that, James stiffened, put his dinner down. "Apparently it's been decided that we're going on a quote _huge _signing tour. That leaves in two days."

"_What_?" James sputtered. "I'm supposed to leave for vacation next week! Carlos leaves _tomorrow_!"

"And I was supposed to go to London as soon as possible."

James deflated. "Y-Yeah. We're just supposed to cancel all of this?"

"They said they'll reimburse everyone for their expenses, but yes, we're expected to cancel any and all plans for the next month. And I'm sure there will be something else for us to do until our break is up. So that I can't go to London."

"We've gotta talk to someone man. Our managers are psycho."

Kendall nodded solemnly. "If we can't get this tour cancelled, I have to do something else. Anything. Jade's going to think I lied to her, that I just wanted to get back at her or something…" He was pacing now, rubbing his hands anxiously against his thighs as he worked through their new predicament.

James sighed frustratedly and stood up, grabbing his phone. "Don't you dare have a panic attack on me, man-"

The blond didn't hear him. "I think I'm actually done. I mean, Stacey Carter spent all this time threatening my career to get Jade to do what she wants but… I don't think I care anymore. Like if she ends my acting career? Fine. What the fuck ever. I'll pursue music. Start over, do it on my own." Kendall stopped and ran a hand down his face. "It's just not worth it anymore. It shouldn't be like this."

Dialing Carlos' number, James nodded grimly. "So let's fix it."

* * *

><p>The days after Jade's impromptu meeting with Stacey Carter were a blur. Miserable.<p>

She should've known. She should've known James and Kendall's acceptance of her was too easy. She didn't deserve their forgiveness. They just planted false hope in her. It wasn't _half_ as bad as what she had done so how could she even be mad?

She wasn't. Just deeply sad.

That hope had ignited something in her and for it to just disappear like that killed her. She felt empty all over again. But she trudged on. She cried to Becca, yelled at Bryan, and filmed the scenes of her movie she was scheduled to film. Fell into a stupid routine. But just when she thought things couldn't really get any worse… they did.

She was just standing there, mindlessly wiping down the kitchen counter, in a daze. She had cooked dinner for herself and Bryan because she didn't have the energy to fight with him, but he hadn't shown. Not a surprise, really, but still annoying.

The food was still left out on the stove, and she was minutes away from putting it in containers, really, she just needed to _move_, but then her housemate walked in. "Oh, so you actually made dinner, I see." Asshole-ish as ever.

Jade sighed, her eyes shutting in annoyance. "Yes. I texted you."

"Must've missed it. Sorry." He didn't sound sorry at all.

"Yeah, well. Help yourself. Warm it up. Let me know when you're done and I'll put the leftovers away."

She started to leave the room, avoiding any and all contact with him but he grabbed her arm as she passed. She winced at his tight grip. "What, you're not going to keep me company?"

"Uh, no?"

His next words were cut off by Jade's phone ringing behind her. They both glanced at it to see a familiar picture of Kendall and his name flashing on the screen. Jade's eyes widened and Bryan's grip on her tightened. "Really?" he spat. "You know, Becca tried to convince me that you were not on site when both that Maslow dick and _Kendall _were spotted in or near that stupid closet but I knew I was right." And then he _shoved _Jade into the counter and all she felt was a searing pain in her side. "You probably fucked both of them. Wouldn't surprise me."

Jade struggled to pull herself back up, using the counter as leverage while she took deep breaths. "You… don't know what you're talking about… asshole."

As soon as she was standing on her own again, Bryan's hand made contact with her face, slapping her so hard her eyes immediately watered and her cheek stung like nothing else. "I know exactly what I'm talking about, and I wonder what the media would do with information like you having a dirty affair with Maslow. I'm betting… hm, I bet some guys would be fired, am I right?"

Tears were streaming down Jade's face before she could help it. "I don't know what you're talking about," she sobbed. "I haven't seen James since that stupid after party. Same with Kendall." She flinched back when Bryan moved toward her again. "_Don't fucking touch me._" She snatched her phone from the countertop and hurried past him.

"I know you had some _brilliant_ plan with him, to outsmart all of us. He especially made a mess today. But didn't work did it?"

She didn't dignify that with a response or even second thought as to what he meant. She could hear the sneer in his voice and her pace picked up. Could hear him following her and she took off running. Daisy barking, coming toward her.

Jade made it out the front door, and when she promised herself she wouldn't stop, she heard her dog's whimper echo in the air around them. "Take your damn mutt as well, then!"

She glanced back in time to see Daisy weakly pulling herself to her feet, a little too closely to how Jade had been just moments before. Bryan had slammed the door on them so Jade quickly ran back and met her puppy. She was too large now to carry far, so she pet her until the whimpering stopped, and then beckoned her to follow.

But where were they going to go?

They walked, and she called Becca over and over again. No answer.

Collapsing on a curb, Jade sobbed into her hands. She had never felt more lost, more helpless.

It took a while of drowning in self-pity to think to call Sarabeth. Her makeup artist. She hadn't exactly earned the amount of trust Becca had, but it was as good as she was going to get in the entire UK.

* * *

><p>"Jesus Christ <em>Jade! <em>What happened to you?" Sarabeth pulled Jade into her apartment, only growing more concerned at the way her visitor winced at the contact.

And just like that, Jade's resolve cracked. She had sworn to herself she wasn't going to tell Sarabeth anything. It would only hurt in the long run if she was working for Stacey Carter, but the girl's concern dissolved that in a second. She just needed someone to talk to. She teared up again, her hand absentmindedly drifting to her severely bruised side. "B-Bryan."

Sarabeth froze halfway bent down to pet Daisy and a guy spoke up from the other side of the room. "A man did that to you?"

"Not just a man," Sarabeth said tensely. "Her boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend," Jade whispered painfully, glaring at the floor. "Never was."

The room was silent for just a moment before Sarabeth was wrapping an arm around Jade's shoulder and leading her to the couch. "Daniel, will you get her some ice, please?"

"I need-" Jade sucked in a breath as she sat down. "I probably need more than you think."

Daniel paused his reaching into the freezer and watched with Sarabeth as Jade lifted her shirt to reveal a clean, deeply bruising line across her right side. "Shit," the man breathed, hurrying his previous actions.

"_Jade_, I-… why did he- what is going on?" Sarabeth frantically fluffed up pillows for the other girl to lean against.

Jade frowned. "You really don't know?"

"Know what? I-"

"That I was blackmailed to come here. To do this movie. To date Bryan." She gazed dully around, seeing Daniel stop once again to stare at her in shock. She just smiled sadly.

"S-So it was true then?"

Sitting up, regrettably, Jade cocked her eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"

"You haven't seen it? Or heard about it? Oh my god…" Sarabeth stood up, searching the room until she shook her head and hurried down a hallway.

Daniel approached with a sigh, taking a seat gingerly on the edge of the coffee table near Jade. He handed her one of the two ice packs in his hands. "For your side." Empathy smothered his expression. "Your old boyfriend was Kendall, right?" Jade just nodded. "Well, he did an interview today. In New York I think? But it reached media here quickly because, well, it was about you."

"_What did he say_?" she rushed out, only wincing slightly when he gently placed the second ice pack on her eye.

"I've got it here!" Sarabeth announced, walking back into the room with a laptop. She sat on the other side of her so Daniel could still help with the ice. "The interview's probably about twenty minutes long. It's crazy. Your people retaliated so quickly, saying he just wanted the publicity, he was spreading rumors."

Jade shook her head. "As long as he only said what I told him a couple of weeks ago, then no, no rumors." She couldn't shake the renewed feeling of hope, and she almost hated it. Even if he went public with their information, Sarabeth said her "people" had responded quickly. It wasn't going to do a thing but lose Kendall his job.

They watched the interview in silence, Daniel adjusting the ice on Jade's face every now and then and Sarabeth absentmindedly petting Daisy. It was the ending that had Jade fighting to keep it together. "_I don't care if I never get to act again. I didn't get into this business to be blackmailed and watched like we're persons of interest or something. So they can fire me. I don't care_." And then he stared dead into the camera. "_I didn't set you up, Jade. They told us about this signing tour two days before it started. But listen, they can't hurt me anymore than they already have, so just-… come home, please. We'll figure this out together. I love you_."

And just like that, Jade's phone buzzed with a new message from Stacey Carter herself. _You have an interview tomorrow at 9AM. Falsify Kendall's claims or you'll be neck deep in issues you can't fix._

"Here's proof," Jade muttered bitterly, holding her phone out so the other two could lean in and read.

"Bloody hell," Daniel murmured.

Sarabeth sniffled and shut her laptop. "I swear I knew nothing about this, Jade. I swear. I was just hired to do your makeup, I-"

"It's okay." Jade placed a hand on the girl's leg comfortingly. "I believe you." At least she hoped she did. "Now I've just gotta come up with a plan of my own."

* * *

><p>The plan was simple enough.<p>

Do the interview.

"So! Jade. You are here to talk about that intriguing interview your ex-boyfriend did, yes?"

Jade crossed one leg over the other and smiled genuinely at the hipster glasses-wearing brunette interviewing her. "Yeah, yes I am."

The reporter sat expectantly for just a moment before, "Well?! Spill the beans Miss Jade!"

Laughing, the girl nodded. "Alright, alright. Get ready for this." The reporter appeared even more intrigued at that. "I was sent here to dispel the 'rumors'," she created air quotes with her fingers. "..that Kendall started by my management. _But_, I'm not going to do that, because everything he said in that interview is true. I was told that if I didn't call his bluff I would be neck deep in issues I can't escape. Here…" Jade pulled up the message and showed the shocked woman across from her.

"Oh my…!"

Jade simply nodded. "I'm done being blackmailed. I probably won't get to act ever again, at least not for movies and TV shows, but I can't do this anymore. They forced me to come here, they forced me to date Bryan, and forced me to keep to myself and not contact any of my old friends and eventually even calls to my family were being monitored. I. Am. Done." Jade sighed. "I'm sorry. I can't answer anymore questions. Between this and Kendall's interview, you should know everything you need to know."

And then she walked off camera.

There was a buzz of excitement around her and people were calling her name but she ignored them all. Once she got to the hallway she broke into a sprint toward her dressing room, startled to find Sarabeth waiting for her.

"Your things are out back in a car with Becca. Take these." Sarabeth pushed what looked like tickets at Jade's chest.

"Sarabeth what-… I can't accept these!" Tickets for a flight to New York.

"Too bad. You have to; they're already bought! It's a gift from Daniel and me. Just consider it an apology on the behalf of the decent people here for the hell you have been put through." She smiled sadly but chuckled at Jade's hesitation. "Just take them! And hurry before they come looking for you!"

Jade was beyond speechless. She just blinked and threw her arms around her former makeup artist. "Thank you so so much," she whispered.

"Don't mention it. We'll keep in touch, yeah?"

"Definitely." Jade squeezed her once more before hurrying out of the room.

Just as she rounded the corner toward the hallway that would lead her outside, she heard Stacey Carter shouting after her. Somehow the girl felt satisfied. With a smirk she took off running and entered the back alley with ease, sliding into the car, hugging Becca as they drove off toward the airport.

"Sorry you got fired," Jade mumbled.

Becca shook her head and _laughed. _"We can be unemployed together, love."

"I can't believe I'm doing this. We're doing this."

"I have always wanted to go to America."

Jade giggled. "Well I sure do hope you like it more than I liked Britain," she joked.

"I think that's a guarantee."

* * *

><p>The journey through the airport and onto the plane went more smoothly than Jade truly expected. She was sure something horrible would happen, but no. They made it through security okay. Jade paid the extra fee to fly Daisy with her. They hid in the bathroom for a bit thanks to sheer paranoia.<p>

Their seats were comfy and together and that's all that really mattered once they settled in for the long flight. They kept themselves occupied when they weren't sleeping—Jade less than Becca thanks to her painful Bryan-induced bruise on her side—playing cards, watching movies, making plans, even writing a little bit once they got started on what they were sure was a _brilliant _movie idea.

And soon enough (Jade _guesses_), they were landing in New York.

She had never released such a sigh of relief.

"So are you going to surprise Kendall in Baltimore or just call him now?" Becca asked after Jade had soaked in her surroundings for just a bit too long.

Jade nearly jumped out of her skin. "Um, should I surprise him? I should probably definitely surprise him." She nodded and took two steps toward the exit before she frantically shook her head and hurried toward a somewhat secluded seat. "Fuck it," she breathed, turning her phone on and impatiently waiting for it to load. Becca laughed next to her.

Her fingers trembled as she pulled up Kendall's name in her phone, she glanced around nervously as it rang; once, twice…

"Jade!" he answered urgently. Her voice was just pure relief when she murmured his name in return. Kendall pushed on. "Jade I've been trying to call you-… you _know _I didn't set you up right? Just tell me that—I know you saw the interview and I saw yours I just-"

"Kendall!" the girl exclaimed. "It's okay. I know. I know."

His voice was a whisper now. "I want you back, baby."

"I-… y-you have me back."

"W-What?"

With a nervous cackle, Jade replied, "Kendall, I'm in New York."

Kendall remained silent for an unbearable moment and Jade began to freak out, wondering if maybe he _didn't _want her back. But then he breathed out, "I'll be there as soon as I can." His voice sounded strained, but not exactly in a bad way, in a way that said maybe he's really emotional.

"No! Kendall. I'm coming to Baltimore tomorrow. Even if I can't get Daisy on a bus, there are a couple of flights to there. I'll come to you, okay?"

"I want to see you sooner than that though," he whined. He actually whined.

Jade giggled, and for just a split second, it felt like old times. "I do too… but just… don't leave the signing tour. I don't want you to get in anymore trouble than I'm sure you're already in, okay?"

Kendall sighed, but agreed. "Okay."

The sudden silence felt uncharacteristically awkward. Jade bit her lip uncertainly. "Well I'm gonna look up times and figure out the best and cheapest way to get there… to get to you."

"Yeah! Yeah, okay… get the earliest one please?" He chuckled uneasily.

"I planned on it!" She grinned to herself.

She could practically hear him jump in revelation. "Do you need money? Oh god they didn't clear you out or anything did they?"

"No," Jade laughed. "I have plenty of money, but I figure I should save what I can; I did just fly away—literally—from a giant movie deal. I'm probably done in showbiz."

"I'm sorry…"

"Um, don't be? I'm strangely enough okay with it."

Kendall hummed in agreement and took a deep breath. "I wish I knew everything that happened…"

"I'll tell you if you really want to know… just not over the phone."

"No, I agree. In person. Probably in bed." Jade's breath hitched at his sudden change in tone. "Where I can kiss all your problems away…"

With flushed cheeks, Jade exhaled a jagged breath. "Y-Yeah?" She couldn't even focus on the cheesiness of what he said.

"Mmhmm. And I can-"

"Kendall!" Jade's voice squeaked, and then she whispered, "I'm in public!" Becca giggled next to her and Jade glanced at her, horrified she'd forgotten her friend was there.

Kendall groaned, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just miss, uh, _everything_ about you, you know?"

"Yeah, ha ha, I know! Especially now, thanks!" She inwardly groaned and doubled over so her face was completely hidden. But she couldn't help but join in when she heard Kendall's manic laughter at her, undoubtedly picturing her in that moment. "I hate you," she mumbled good naturedly.

"Liar."

"Damn, you caught me."

"Knew I would," Kendall hummed happily and it warmed Jade. "Miss you."

She shook her head. "Miss you more."

"Then hurry up and get here so I can see your pretty face!"

"Consider me on my way, darling."

Silence. "Are we doing this?" Kendall chuckled. "_No _you _hang up first_!" he mocked.

"Oh my god. Shut up. No. I'll see you soon!"

He laughed again. "Okay, babygirl. I'll text you the hotel address."

Jade hung up with a tiny smile, staring at the picture on the screen until it faded. She could only hope things would be so easy from there on out.

* * *

><p>It turned out she couldn't bring Daisy on any of the buses available, but compared to available flights, a bus would get her to Baltimore sooner. So finally, they resolved to have Becca stay in New York, keeping Daisy with her, and Jade would take the next bus out.<p>

A scene is caused at the bus station in Baltimore when she sees James and Kendall, but none of the three can bring themselves to care. Jade just throws her arms around Kendall, only pulling away when he's too desperate to do anything but kiss her.

She couldn't believe the overwhelming feeling of butterflies coursing through her belly when his lips met hers. There were random cheers around them, warmhearted people aweing at the obviously long-awaited reunion.

"Hi," Kendall murmured with a smile before kissing her again.

Jade just giggled. "Hi." She held his face in her hands for a moment, beaming at him before letting go, moving to James.

The man squeezed her, groaning, in nothing but could be described as a bear hug. She tried her hardest not to wince because of the bruise. Adrenaline helped. "So happy you're back, girly," he said as he gently wiped her tears with his thumbs and kissed her forehead. "Come on, let's get you out of here."

They piled into the car BTR's security rented and made the fairly short trip back to the hotel, Jade pressed between the guys while they told her about the signing tour. There was a silent agreement not to talk about the heavy stuff until they were alone.

But it came sooner than that when, with not-so-great timing, they ran into Carlos and Logan in the hotel lobby.

Jade flinched back when Carlos dodged her hug but gave her a solemn expression and awkward wave instead.

Logan just walked away.

The girl swallowed her emotions and nodded slightly, mostly to herself. She felt her eyes water and glared down at her feet so no one would see her. "I should go talk to him," she eventually murmured after a gentle hand rested against her back.

"How about we get you settled in first, yeah?" Kendall suggested softly. "It'd probably be better for you to talk in private, anyway…"

Jade just nodded, lifting her head to see Carlos had disappeared as well. She let out a watery sigh and slipped an arm around Kendall's waist, gripping his hoodie like it was the only thing keeping her grounded.

When they got up to Kendall's room, James set her bag down and Jade just stood there, staring blankly at the floor. It was when Kendall tried to slide an arm around her torso from behind that the heavy stuff had to start coming out. She just couldn't help but inhale sharply at his hand sliding right over the dark line across her ribs.

He jumped back uncertainly. "Wha-?"

She wiped at her eyes, tears coming freely, and frankly she had forgotten about her black eye until it was too late. She turned to look at Kendall and he immediately squinted, zeroing in on her face.

"Do you-… do you have a black eye?" Kendall's voice sounded broken and James appeared alarmed.

"It's nothing, guys."

Kendall shook his head, seemingly on the verge of tears, slowly reaching for the end of her shirt. She just pursed her lips, sobs building up inside her. She tried to take deep breaths but the expression on Kendall and James' faces when they saw her torso were too much. "H-… How… did this happen?" Kendall had jumped to the worst conclusion and unfortunately this time he was right.

"The counter at the house in London."

"The counter…"

James shook his head, voicing what the other two wouldn't. "You mean Bryan."

Jade squeezed her eyes shut and just nodded, releasing the sobs she hadn't before, and was immediately wrapped up, carefully, in Kendall's arms.

"I thought you said he _almost _hit you that one night, Jade!" James exclaimed.

Kendall froze. "What."

"The night of the Upfronts. He almost hit her. That's why they were arguing."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kendall muttered.

Jade sniffled. "It just came out when I was talking to James. He got more of the story than you did. When I saw you it just didn't matter anymore I-…"

"Hey, it's okay, baby. It's okay." Kendall stroked her hair and tried his best to stay calm.

The girl continued quietly. "He hit me the night before my interview. Shoved me into the counter first. Then s-slapped me…" She felt Kendall tense around her and she shook her head frantically, pulling away from him. "Please Kendall. Just- please can we forget about it. I know it's a big deal but I just don't want to think about it. I just want to be with you."

"How am I supposed to forget about this?" he asked exasperatedly, holding her head in his hands.

"Please… just... Don't get angry. Please…" she pleaded.

He deflated in an instant, squeezing his eyes shut, shaking his head slowly. "What did you do after he did that?"

"Ran. Daisy followed me. He kicked her out the door and locked us out." She took a deep breath. "I walked while I tried to figure out what to do. Becca wasn't answering her phone. Finally all I could do was call my makeup girl, Sarabeth. Which was a blessing in disguise. She and her boyfriend bought our plane tickets."

"Nice girl," James commented quietly.

Jade nodded.

"You should've told someone," Kendall muttered.

"Sarabeth and Daniel knew. They have pictures. If I just say the word they'll-"

"Then say the word!"

With a gulp, the girl shook her head. "I think we're going to have enough drama on our hands. I don't want to add assault charges to that."

James tilted his head back exasperatedly and sighed heavily. "They'd probably just cover it up somehow anyway."

The three stood in solemn silence for longer than they could bear.

"Y-You're okay, though?" Kendall asked softly, finally shattering the quiet.

"Mhmm." She smiled slightly. "I'm with you guys. That's all that matters to me right now." She huffed into Kendall's neck as he drew her in for another hug. "I just wanna forget."

But it was hard to forget with a dark cloud named Carlos and Logan loomed over her head.

She was so very ridiculously wrong to think they would accept her back as easily as Kendall and James.

It never should have been easy to begin with.

* * *

><p><strong>Wow hello! I've very much moved on from this story, but I promised endlessly that I would finish it, so it's still coming, slowly but surely! There is one chapter left, and potentially an epilogue (we shall see on that one). There wasn't much conflict in this one and I probably should've added the next scene at the end there but I felt like this needed to get out. So this one sucks and the next one will be FULL of conflict and angst and fluff and the whole nine yards. I'm very unorganized, sorry. Anyway, I know people still ask for this on my Tumblr, so hopefully this still gets read! Haha<strong>


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